- Never eat anything red.
- Don’t chew with your mouth open.
- Swallow what’s in your mouth before speaking.
- It’s important to try to make your friends feel good about themselves as often as possible. Then they’ll like you better.
- Popularity isn’t important. Being a kind and thoughtful person is.
- Cheyenne is officially boring.
- There’s no kissing in fourth grade.
- You should always tell people they look nice, even when they don’t. This makes people feel good, so they’ll like you better.
- It’s rude to tell someone they’re only going to get something because no one else wants it, not because they earned it.
- Don’t play tackle football in the hallway.
- Don’t slam doors in people’s faces.
- Whenever possible, try to be born into a family with no little brothers.
- May the best man—or woman—win.
- It’s wrong to hate people.
- Practice makes perfect.
- It’s always better to have things out in the open than to let them fester.
- The best way to keep a person from getting mad at you is to compliment them. Even if you don’t think it’s true.
- If you want to get anywhere, you can’t play by the rules.
- Always answer the phone at home, saying, “This is (your name) speaking” to be polite.
- Friends try to make friends feel better.
- Friends don’t try to make friends feel bad on purpose.
- No one likes a sore loser.
- No one likes a sore winner, either.
- It’s important to accept victory modestly. (Then you can celebrate all you want in private, where the losers can’t see you.)
- There are no small parts, only small actors.
- It’s rude to interrupt people.
- If you whine about it, you’ll get sent to your room and also have your TV privileges suspended and maybe also no dessert and possibly also your Nintendo DS taken away for a week.
- Best friends rescue each other when someone’s evil sister has them trapped.
- You can’t make someone with a bad attitude about something change her mind and have a good one.
- It’s okay to lie if the lie makes someone else feel better.
- Make the best of it.
- Treat people the way you yourself would like to be treated.
- When you know the right thing to do, you have to do it.
- No one would ever say shut up to Mrs. Hunter. Not if they wanted to live to see tomorrow.
- Don’t take anything that doesn’t belong to you without asking first.
- Nothing is impossible, if you put your mind to it. Nothing at all.