Chapter 20
“Why’s ya face all frowned up?” Darious asked, walking into the back where Tammy was sorting merchandise.
“Everyday stress, that’s all,” she answered in a sad tone. “I’ll be all right, though.”
“A’ight. If there’s anything I can do, just let me know,” he told her before heading back out to the front.
Truth was, Tammy was thinking about how she was going to pay her bills this month. Not only were the bills an issue, but the kids needed things that she couldn’t afford, like clothes and toys. Chris’s family wasn’t helping out with anything. It was as if he told them to cut Tammy off also.
The weight of being the head of the family was hard. It had gotten so bad that she even thought about trickin’ just to get the money she needed. Her only problem with that was she only knew one person who would pay for her goods, and she wasn’t up for the degrading feeling she knew she would have afterward if she fucked with Mr. Louis.
While thinking about her situation, she took a seat on one of the crates. She couldn’t control the tears that fell down her face. It was hard and stressful being a single mother with two kids. Tammy needed help, much like the rest of the young, black, struggling single mothers out here.
“Tammy, what da hell is wrong with you?” Darious asked, coming back into the room where she was. Tammy tried to wipe the tears from her face before he could see them, but it was too late. Darius put the box he had in his hands on the floor and sat on top of it right in front of her. “Come on, Tammy. Talk to me,” he said in a concerned voice. “Let me help you.”
“You can’t help me, Darious. I’m not who you think I am,” she responded, now unable to hold back her tears.
“Just try me,” he said, reaching over and grabbing a hold of her hand.
She looked up at Darious with her eyes full of tears. For some reason she felt comfortable telling him what was going on in her life. So, she did just that, breaking down and telling him about her financial problems and the situation with Chris and his other baby’s mom.
They sat in the back for almost an hour, not caring too much about the customers who kept trying to get their attention.
“I know you look at me in a whole new light,” Tammy said, wiping her face with her shirt sleeve.
“Nah, Tammy. I still see you as the same person. In fact, I got a lot of respect for you,” Darious said, and stood up, reached into his pocket, and pulled out his small leather wallet. “Here. Use the rest of this. It’s got a little more than a thousand dollars on it. Take care of ya bills and whatever else you need to do,” he said, passing her a prepaid credit card.
“I can’t take this from you!” she said, refusing the card.
Darious knelt down in front of her. “Tammy, before my mom died she used to give me little words of advice. She told me that sometimes we miss the blessings God sends to us because we look for the blessings in the wrong places. She said that most of the time the blessings are sitting right in front of our faces, and we still don’t see them. From one friend to another, don’t be one of the people who misses her blessings,” he said, sticking the card out for her to take.
Tammy looked at the card then back up at Darious. His concern showed in his eyes. She hesitated for a moment, but reached out and took the card from him. The money was no doubt a blessing, and Tammy didn’t want to miss out on it. “Thank you, Darious!” she said, and stood up to give him a hug. “I really appreciate it!”
* * *
Lamar drove down the highway on his way to work with more than enough to think about. He looked out to the road as the highway lights beamed off the hood of his car. “Differences” by Ginuwine was pouring through the speakers, putting him in a relaxed state.
Lamar was trying his best to figure out how he got to the point where he was in love with two women. Each of them had certain qualities that were attractive, and while Kim was the one who was independent and more educated, Falisha possessed beauty and street smarts. Kim was more mature, but Falisha was young and willing to learn. Kim’s pussy was good, but Falisha’s head game was great. Kim knew how to cook, but Falisha knew all the good restaurants.
Lamar didn’t know what he was going to do. But what he did know was that he had to choose one of them. It was impossible for him to go on with this love triangle without the possibility of losing both of them. He knew that he didn’t have long, either, seeing as how they lived right across the street from one another and were the best of friends.
Something was going to have to give, and not leaning more toward one woman over the other was making it hard.
* * *
Tammy pulled into Darious’s apartment complex to return his car. He had let her use it all day so she could run some errands and pay her bills. It was cool, because neither she nor Darious had to work that day, and she had dropped the kids off at Chris’s mom’s house so that she could take care of her business.
This was the first time that she had ever been to Darious’s place, and as she walked up the steps to the third floor she felt kind of nervous. She didn’t know why; she just did. As she walked down the hallway she looked up at the numbers over the doors, and saw 302, the apartment Darious told her he lived in. She knocked on the door and waited.
A couple seconds later he opened the door. “Damn! I thought you were going to be out longer than that!” he said as he was putting on his tank top. “Did you take care of everything?”
Tammy hesitated for a second. She was still thinking about the glimpse of Darious’s abs she got before he put his tank top on. “Oh, yeah. I didn’t have to do much. I can pay all my bills in one place,” she said before reaching into her bag and pulling out his car keys.
“Come on in. Let me finish eating, and then I’ll take you home,” he said, stepping to the side.
Tammy became even more nervous, and she still couldn’t figure out why.
“Or, you can stand there and wait!” He chuckled, seeing that she had a stuck look on her face.
Tammy laughed too, thinking of how silly she looked standing in the hallway. She stepped into the apartment and stood there looking around at how nice it was. Darious led her to the kitchen.
“Can I ask you something?” she said, taking a seat at the kitchen table with him.
“Yeah, you can ask me anything,” he responded before taking a bite of his chicken sandwich.
“What’s your angle? I mean, why are you helping me out like this?”
Darious put his sandwich down on the plate and finished chewing his food. “I’m helping you because that’s what friends do. If I was fucked up and you were in a better position than me, I would hope that I could depend on you to be there for me,” he answered.
Tammy wasn’t convinced at all about that friendship talk. He was up to something, and she could see it in his eyes. “I hope you don’t think you’re getting any pussy!” she shot back.
Darious almost choked on his food when he heard her say that. He didn’t know that she could be so blunt. But he did like her straightforwardness. It inspired him to want to come clean with his motives. “A’ight, Tammy. You wanna know the truth?” He rubbed his hands together to get the crumbs off, and scooted his chair over to sit directly in front of her. He then cleared the rest of the food from his mouth.
“Yeah, Darious, I want the truth.”
“Look, Tammy. I helped you because I like you. And to be honest, I think the world of you. Sometimes I think that I’m the only one who sees how good of a woman you are,” he explained to her.
Tammy didn’t see this coming.
“I’m not gonna lie, Tammy. I’m hoping that one day I can make you my girl. I don’t know the status between you and ya baby daddy, but if y’all are not together, I’m tryin’ to be the man in ya life,” he continued.
Tammy definitely didn’t see that coming. She was at a loss for words, but at the same time she was flattered. For a nice guy like Darious to want to be with her made her feel somewhat special. She felt wanted, a feeling she hadn’t felt in a long time. “I don’t know what to say. I mean, I like you too; but I’m not ready to be in a relationship right now. I just broke up with my kids’ father, and I just need some time to get my shit together. I don’t wanna bring anybody into this mess of a life I have,” she said, damn near ready to shed a few tears at the thought of it.
Darious smiled. “Ya life ain’t that bad, Tammy. You just hit a few rough patches. I know with a little polish, you’ll be good as new. I also know that I’ma be here for you until you’re ready to let somebody in. Just when you do decide that you’re ready, make sure you call me first.” He chuckled before leaning over and giving her a kiss on the forehead.
Tammy smiled and confirmed with a simple nod that she would call him first. If she ever thought about being with anybody, it would have to be with somebody like Darious. He was kind, sweet, smart, and handsome, not to mention the fact that he had a bright future ahead of him . . . and he was single. He was a good catch, but truth be told, she was still holding on to her past.
She didn’t want to say anything to him, but the real reason why she wasn’t ready to be with anybody else was because she was still in love with her childhood sweetheart, Chris.
* * *
Lisa sat in the front row with Dre’s mom and his other family members she was familiar with. So many people turned up at the funeral. Lisa expected it, though, because he was well liked in his hood. Despite the fact that he terrorized the streets before he got locked up for murder, he helped a lot of people out. That’s why there wasn’t a dry eye in the building. Everybody was crying, even Lisa. She couldn’t hold back if she wanted to, looking over at Dre lying in a coffin a mere fifteen feet away from her.
The priest gave a beautiful sermon about life and death, and how people should be living their lives here on Earth while they were still alive. It had Lisa thinking about her situation and how she needed to make some changes in her own life. All she could think about was having a chance to fix what she had broken in her marriage, and get back to being the loving wife she knew she could be.
After the viewing, it was time to take Dre to his final resting place. Four large men stood around his casket, lifted it up, and walked it down the aisle toward the hearse that was parked outside. Lisa followed them, along with Dre’s mother and a few other family members.
As the casket passed by the last pews, Lisa just so happened to look over, and saw Ralphy sitting there. She couldn’t believe that he had come, and for a moment she wanted to jump into the casket and die right along with Dre. It was humiliating getting caught at the funeral by Ralphy with tears still rolling down her cheeks.
At first, Lisa didn’t know if she should have stopped to acknowledge him, but from the way he was looking at her, she really didn’t have any other choice. He got up out of the pew just as the casket passed by him. He was dressed for the occasion with a suit and a tie, and in his hands was a white envelope. He didn’t have to say anything to get Lisa to stop. Dre’s mom kept it moving without inquiring who Ralphy was.
“I’m sorry!” Lisa said, looking up into Ralphy’s watery eyes.
“Yeah, me too,” he said back. He tapped the envelope against his thigh while looking into the eyes of the woman who claimed to have been his wife. Seeing her there at the funeral and crying as if Dre was her husband was the final straw. Any hope of trying to save their marriage was out the window, and this time Lisa couldn’t argue with him or justify her actions. She was out of pocket all the way around the board.
“I guess I can only wonder whether you could have loved me as much as you loved him,” Ralphy said, and passed her the white envelope and then a pen he retrieved from his pocket. “Do the right thing this time,” he said, nodding at the envelope.
Lisa knew the divorce papers were the contents of the envelope. She didn’t even have enough strength to put up a fight if she wanted to. This whole ordeal had taken its toll on her as well, and she felt like she had hurt Ralphy long enough.
She took the papers out of the envelope and began signing and initialing them in their correct places. It took Lisa and Ralphy every bit of five hours at their wedding to get married, but it took less than two minutes for them to get divorced. Their marriage had begun in a church, and by God’s will, a church was where their marriage was going to end. Ugly, but fair!