99 Problems
BAR
31 JOHNSTON STREET, COLLINGWOOD
WWW.99PROBLEMS.COM.AU • MAP P.284
OPEN TUES–THURS 6PM–1AM, FRI & SAT 5PM–1AM
BEERS $5.30–$8, WINES $7–$9, COCKTAILS $16, FOOD $6–$8
CASH ONLY
99 Problems is a pioneering, breakaway bar. It’s located on Johnston Street, off Smith, but instead of being city-side, providing a stop-off for those lumbering up to Brunswick Street, it is on the Hoddle Street end, en route to Abbotsford and the Tote. Historically, this shady stretch of street has been a rare bar-free portion of Melbourne’s inner north. But now 99 Problems has opened for business, others are sure to follow, particularly if the locals’ rapt reaction is anything to go by. The word that springs to mind in describing 99 Problems is brevity. It’s made up of two concise rooms and, another pioneering move, a beer garden fashioned from a laneway. The space is blocked off from Johnston Street by hurricane wire and doubles 99 Problems’s capacity. There are two beers on tap and two cocktails on the cocktail list and one type of food: toasted sandwiches. But for all its simplicity, 99 Problems appeals. Its dim-lit space is brightened by wallsized artwork, low-strung light bulbs and a buzzing crowd, no matter what night you visit.
The Alchemist
COCKTAIL BAR
361 BRUNSWICK STREET, FITZROY
(03) 9419 8250 • MAP P.285
OPEN MON–WED 5PM–LATE, THURS–SUN 4PM–LATE
BEERS $8–$12, WINES $8.50–$12, COCKTAILS $17–$24, FOOD $5–$30
VISA, MC
Step into an ancient world straight from the pages of your favourite fantasy novel. Candelabras dripping with wax, dusty piles of books and a cabinet case full of tonics and potions– the Alchemist has everything you need to make your wildest dungeons and dragons dreams come true. Most of the furniture has been salvaged from antique stores – dark wood tables and chairs are arranged in little groups under red velvet draped from the ceiling – and the magic menu also reflects the bar’s tribute to ancient philosophers and chemists. Ye olde drinks list offers staples (sangria, Manhattans and mai tais) as well as mystical concoctions. La Catrina – the Queen of the Dead – is tequila blended with white chocolate, lime and basil. The ingredients favoured at the Alchemist sound like they have been plucked from an apothecary’s cupboard. Where more conservative bars might choose olives or strawberries, the Alchemist uses grilled lemon and bacon. There is a good range of food to go with your flagon of liqueur, whatever you choose.
Bebida
BAR
325 SMITH STREET, FITZROY
(03) 9419 5260 • MAP P.284
OPEN MON 8.30AM–4.30PM, WED–SUN 8.30AM–LATE
BEERS $4.50–$8, WINES $7–$8.50, COCKTAILS $12.50–$15, FOOD $4–$17
ALL CARDS ACCEPTED
Bebida is like a little slice of Madrid amid the mayhem of Smith Street. The owners say the bar was inspired by their travels through Italy, the Czech Republic and China. But it is their time in Spain that seems to have had the deepest impact. Pictures of El Torro grace the ochre- and wine-coloured walls more than once. And the wine menu has Spanish highlights among its Australian fare. The space is cosy. Most of the time there is a small crowd occupying the wood tables and chairs, but when live performers are invited along – be it a folksy acoustic group or searing street rap – they usually hog most of the space. No matter! The front windows open out onto ample street seating (and let in air and light, making Bebida’s bar stools the perfect place for a Sunday sangria) and the back exit leads to a leafy beer garden. There is a sumptuous menu that also has a Spanish bent, comprising chiefly tapas, including chorizo, jamon and tortilla.
Bimbo Deluxe
BAR
376 BRUNSWICK STREET, FITZROY
(03) 9419 8600 • MAP P.285
OPEN DAILY NOON–3AM
BEERS $4–$10, WINES $6.50–$8, COCKTAILS $12–$16, FOOD $4–$9.90
ALL CARDS ACCEPTED
Bimbo’s naked kewpie dolls are famous in Fitzroy: they represent cheap pizza, great atmosphere, flavoured vodka, cosy corners and spontaneous dancing that usually breaks out between the couches sometime after midnight. Part pizzeria, part wonderful, sprawling bar, Bimbo guarantees a good night out. The flirty bar staff offer flavoured vodka (watermelon, blueberry, faithful vanilla, green apple and peach), a nice cheap range of beers and a fair range of Australian wines. There are also lots of couches for slouching in, and a few small rooms (one upstairs and a private conical hidey-hole) and a glorious rooftop beer garden spangled with coloured lights from Moroccan-style lamps. DJs play hip-hop, funk, techno and rock, depending when you go. And there are always pizzas aplenty, including the patented dessert pizzas, like mascarpone and dark chocolate for $6 (except during the specials periods when all pizzas are $4). In a part of town that is fast becoming uber-gentrified, Bimbo remains a stronghold of bohemia.
TOP 10 ROOFTOPS
HOW MANY TIMES CAN YOU SAY ‘GREAT VIEWS’ IN A BOOK OF BAR REVIEWS? DOZENS IF IT’S A MELBOURNE BOOK. THE NO SMOKING INDOORS POLICY SPARKED A DELIGHTFUL SIDE EFFECT AS BAR OWNERS LOOKED FOR A WAY TO ACCOMMODATE PATRONS WHO LIKED A PUFF. AND SO MELBOURNE’S ROOFTOP BAR CULTURE WAS BORN.
Bimbo’s glittering rooftop is the bar’s crowning glory. Stained-Glass hanging lanterns add a touch of the exotic.
Trimmed astroturf, wood-fire pizzas, and dark wood decking make the Campari House rooftop one of Melbourne’s most salubrious skyline addresses.
Almost like a nightclub on a roof, the Deck, on top of the Waterside Hotel, is one of Melbourne’s wilder rooftop bars.
Vernon Chalker of Gin Palace fame is said to have started the trend with the prettily appointed Madame Brussels. Well known as a lady with a past, the Madame was one of Melbourne’s first rooftop bars and remains among the best.
It’s not quite a rooftop, but Match’s generous balcony is a great place to sit and admire the sights of Melbourne from above. The great cocktail list puts it in the top ten.
On the rooftop of the Carlton Hotel, Palmz needs no introduction: it’s a palm tree–filled, grass hut–style desert island in the sky. Fortunately, this desert island has a fully fitted bar and serves food.
Red Hummingbird/The Emerald Peacock
The top floor of Red Hummingbird offers a beautiful outdoor drinking area and skyline views. It is matched by its big sister, the Emerald Peacock, which does the same on a larger scale.
Short on creativity in its name, Rooftop, at the top of Curtin House, compensates by featuring installations from local artists. Throw in some fake grass, plenty of seats and some of the best views in town, and this no-fuss rooftop bar is a winner.
Literally the top end of the top end of town. This rooftop above the Supper Club boasts views of Parliament and Spring Street in all its grandeur.
Black Pearl
COCKTAIL BAR
304 BRUNSWICK STREET, FITZROY
(03) 9417 0455 • MAP P.284
OPEN DAILY 5PM–3AM
BEERS $5.50–$13, WINES $8.50–$11, COCKTAILS $17–$22
ALL CARDS ACCEPTED
Watching the slick gentlemen bartenders perform their perfectly choreographed craft is almost as impressive as the concoctions they serve up. President of the Australian Bartenders Guild Ben Davidson has called the Black Pearl a nursery for the city’s best bartenders, but the awards the bar collects year after year indicate there’s nothing unpractised about it. Perhaps he meant it’s a cradle of innovation. Black Pearl looks like your average, unassuming bar, decked out in comfy couches and low tables. In fact, some might think it a little too tame to compete with the glut of offerings on Brunswick Street. But that’s before you open the cocktail list. The espresso martini is a stand-out. But to pass up some of the more daring creations would be a crime. The much-lauded Green Apple Spring blends Granny Smith apple juice with vodka. After two of these you’ll melt into the velvety couches and stop wondering why everything is so brown. It’s open seven days a week until 3am, so there’s plenty of time to get to know each and every creation on the cocktail list.
Boire
BAR
92 SMITH STREET, COLLINGWOOD
WWW.BOIRE.COM.AU • MAP P.284
OPEN TUES–SAT 6PM–11PM
BEERS $7, WINES $9–$15, COCKTAILS $13, FOOD CHANGES DAILY
NO BOOKINGS
VISA, MC
Beautiful Boire was established by French-born Catherine Chauchat, who has not only a love of wine, but also formal qualifications in viticulture. Lucky for us, she chose Melbourne as her home and she’s brought the best part of provincial France with her. Boire’s wine list (scrawled in chalk on the blackboard wall) changes regularly, but bottles are almost guaranteed to have come from the Bordeaux region. Chauchat moves from table to table in the pretty bar, discussing flavours and textures and recommending this drop with that dish. The wines are complemented by rustic French food served on crockery straight from Nana’s crystal cabinet. Like the wine, the food is impeccable. Boire’s poached plum and chocolate tart alone makes a trip worthwhile. The setting is as understated and elegant as the wine. The furnishings are quaint, the cutlery mismatched, and the walls plain, except for three ducks in military regalia. Boire has a rosy glow, care of red and amber glass lightshades, making it perfect for a romantic rendezvous.
Builders Arms
PUB
211 GERTRUDE STREET, FITZROY
(03) 9419 0818 • MAP P.284
OPEN MON–THURS 4PM–LATE, FRI & SAT 2PM–1AM, SUN 2PM–11PM
BEERS $3.70–$13, WINES $6.50–$10, FOOD $6–$28
ALL MAJOR CARDS ACCEPTED
The Builders Arms is a rare species: pure, old-school Fitzroy. Before gentrification transformed the suburb, the Builders cast its grand shadow over the corner of Gertrude and Gore, and still does. The thoughtful selection of local and boutique beers on tap will please everybody, and the range of wines by the glass is fair. Most nights host a meal special (Monday is half-price bar food), with generous servings and decent prices. The Builders is cool enough to play music from Funkadelic to Poison via MIA, and unpretentious enough to retain heritage ceiling roses and ceramic wall tiles. It’s comfortable, vibrant and inviting, like a party at your best friend’s share house. Every pub has its ‘best seat in the house’. Here, head straight to the enormous orange velour couch cocooned by curved walls papered in orientalist print. You’ll enjoy a vantage point over the entire room and, best of all, it’s comfortable enough to doze off at the pointy end of the night.
Cavallero
BAR
300 SMITH STREET, COLLINGWOOD
(03) 9417 1377 • MAP P.284
OPEN TUES–THURS 10AM–11PM, FRI 10AM–1AM, SAT 8AM–1AM, SUN 9AM–11PM
BEERS $4.80–$26, WINES $7–$16, COCKTAILS $16, FOOD $6–$28
VISA, MC
A beautiful hybrid that seamlessly blends a bar with fine dining, Cavallero is a stylish place to spend a Saturday night. Stepping off schizophrenic Smith Street into the cool cavern is like walking through the looking glass into a world of sophistication. The bar’s milky walls are completely bare except for the mounted head of a deer and a few commercialstyle lights. Its furnishings and menu are similarly sparse. Large, bottle-green leather booths, a heavy wooden share table and a few smaller tables complete the furnishings. When it comes to wine, cocktails and food, the offerings are of the highest calibre. Cavallero does a select range and does it well. The staff are well versed and will explain the qualities of each drink if you’re not sure if you want a heady glass of red or a summery white. The gorgeous green marble bar is the perfect place to perch yourself for a coffee during the day, too.
Caz Reitop’s Dirty Secrets
COCKTAIL BAR
80 SMITH STREET, COLLINGWOOD
(03) 9415 8876 • MAP P.284
OPEN WED & THURS 5PM–1AM, FRI 5PM–3AM, SAT 6PM–3AM, SUN–TUES ENQUIRE
BEERS $5–$7.40, WINES $6.50–$8.50, COCKTAILS $15, FOOD $3.50–$4.50
VISA, MC
The gramophone on the bar sets the tone at Caz’s; this is an old-world cocktail lounge done up in 1920s style. There’s fresh basil growing in a pot behind the bar (to be torn up for the Basil Rum Swizzle) and a cocktail list that includes damsels (Blue Gin Damsel), thieves (Jimmy No Fingers) and a concoction strong enough to raise the dead (the Corpse Reviver). The prohibition-era, speak-easy feel continues upstairs, where you can enjoy your drinks incognito in the luxuriously large red booths. Caz’s has managed to capture the mood of an era without coming out trussed up like some sort of flamboyant theme bar. Downstairs you half expect to find the spat-shod goons with Tommy guns – instead there’s a bluestone venue for gigs and live music. The dirty secret’s crowd co-opts part of Smith Street when things get lively here (which is most nights), spilling out onto the street and filling the night with merriment fuelled by Sweet Revenge (no. 3, with a twist, served martini-style).
Collingwood World
BAR
97B SMITH STREET, FITZROY
(03) 9486 9785 • MAP P.284
OPEN WED–SUN 5PM–1AM
BEERS $6–$12, WINES $7–$10, COCKTAILS $16–$19
VISA, MC
The owners of Collingwood World know how to play the game: interesting cocktails, sleek furniture and not a shred of kitsch in sight. They’ve created a grown-up’s haven out of hardwood furniture, basket-style wire stools, polished concrete floors and a fat-bellied wood stove. Lighting in this first-floor attic comes care of a few candles and some redslashed lightshades, making it a cosy place to hang out. The one concession to the minimalist design is a large-scale map of Collingwood on the north wall to let you know where you’re supposed to be. The cocktails are top shelf but reasonably priced. The owners have paid attention to detail and their attitude is all about comfort, with no interest in artifice. The food is limited to bowls of (free!) nuts for now. But don’t let that deter you; there are plenty of places on Smith Street to fill up beforehand, not to mention a conveniently located souvlaki bar downstairs for when the night comes to an end.
The Fox Hotel
PUB
351 WELLINGTON STREET, COLLINGWOOD
(03) 9416 4957 • MAP P.287
OPEN MON–THURS 3PM–LATE, FRI–SUN NOON–1AM
BEERS $5–$12, WINES $6.50–$8, COCKTAILS $15, FOOD $5–$28
VISA, MC
Painted ladies’ legs point out of the walls in the back room of the Fox Hotel, but that’s just one part of the eclectic, borderline-absurdist decor. The Fox is a good old-fashioned north-side pub with all the trimmings: regular live music, a pool table, bookshelves stacked with board games and a table tennis room off the back courtyard. There are cosy indoor pockets with fireplaces, where the walls are painted a warm, glowing red, and a spacious backyard strewn with road signs and fairy lights. Bar-side, there’s a big list of Australian microbrewed beer matched by an equally long list of imports. The wine is mostly Australian (a few Kiwi bottles sneak in) and the pub meals on offer are generous. The menu is geared towards a vegetarian palate, but meat lovers will not be left unsatisfied. Upstairs the Fox lays claim to a generous rooftop beer garden that is a beautiful place to soak up the sunshine.
Gasometer
PUB
484 SMITH STREET, COLLINGWOOD
(03) 9417 5538 • MAP P.285
OPEN MON–WED 4PM–MIDNIGHT, THURS 4PM–1AM, FRI & SAT 11AM–2AM, S UN 11AM–11PM
BEERS $4–$11, WINE $7–$11, COCKTAILS $17–$22, FOOD $5–$24
ALL MAJOR CARDS ACCEPTED
Recently transformed from an Irish pub, Gasometer has been lovingly restored to its former glory with a dash of steamtrain chic, and a new name – after the gas plant over the road. You’d expect this pub to be wall-to-wall skinny jeans, but Gasometer draws a diverse mix of people who appreciate its special blend of publican goodness. The owners, ‘graduates’ of the East Brunswick Club, have created a place with their friends in mind. Handpicked brews of beer and cider, from local Victorian and Australian breweries, change regularly alongside regulars like Tecate beer from Mexico and the Italian Moretti. Wine leans towards Spain and cocktails are seasonal, with Pimm’s jugs in summer and mulled wine or cider in winter. Gasometer serves eclectic American diner–style food with a vegan bent. Expect to find tofu strips or seitan barbecue ribs on the menu along with Southern fried chicken and corndogs. It’s a world away from your regular pub, but you don’t have to be a friend of the owner to appreciate it!
Gerald’s Bar
BAR
386 RATHDOWNE STREET, CARLTON NORTH
(03) 9349 4748 • MAP P.287
OPEN MON–SAT 5PM–11PM
BEERS $7.50, WINES $7.50–$65, COCKTAILS $12–$30, FOOD $6–$25
CASH ONLY
The phrase ‘the birth of cool’ stretches across the back wall of Gerald’s Bar in North Carlton. The sentiment pretty well sums the place up. The eclectic yet uncluttered wine bar is a place where adults come to drink. The bartenders welcome you in, lean over and have a chat about where each wine on the list is from. The decor is trendy wine bar meets cultured lounge room. Homely touches are added with globes, bowls of oranges and knick-knacks, and lace curtains and a staircase that dwarfs the main room add to the personal feel. Wine by the glass is served on a first-come, first-choice basis. That is, they’ll open three reds and three whites at a time. Once one runs out you can choose another, but not before. Never fear: the owner of Gerald’s is a connoisseur and there are no rough reds or cheap whites here. Jazz music plays softly, but the main soundtrack is the lively hum of conversation as patrons sit and discuss the state of the world over a glass of red.
Grumpy’s Green
BAR
125 SMITH STREET, FITZROY
(03) 9416 1944 • MAP P.284
OPEN MON–FRI NOON–LATE, SAT & SUN 10AM–LATE
BEERS $4.50–$10.50, WINES $7–$9.50, SPIRITS $7–$12, FOOD $6–$20
ALL CARDS ACCEPTED
Have you been rushing around, fretting about climate change? Stop and have a guilt-free drink at Grumpy’s Green, Melbourne’s most earnest eco-bar. Every beer and bottle of wine on the (considerable) drinks list is from Victoria, cutting the amount of carbon produced getting it to Grumpy’s fridge. They even have their miles listed next to them. Other green measures include the recycled furniture, rainwater toilets, earth-friendly cleaning products and an all-vegetarian menu. Despite these measures, you aren’t assaulted by an unplaceable, mulchy smell when you wander in. Apart from a few beat-up looking couches, Grumpy’s looks and feels like any other bar. The couches aren’t even that beat-up: think the relaxed dilapidation of beach-house couches. There’s live music nearly every night and Grumpy’s has a large, bricked beer garden swathed in graffiti, a greenhousey bluestone back room and second-storey loft. There are plenty of plants out back too, just in case you really want to get back to nature.
The Kodiak Club
BAR
272 BRUNSWICK STREET, FITZROY 0431 947 910 • MAP P.284
OPEN WED, THURS & SUN 5PM–LATE, FRI & SAT 5PM–3AM
BEERS $6–$12, WINES $7–$10, COCKTAILS $16–$17, FOOD $4–$23.50
ALL MAJOR CARDS ACCEPTED
Fitzroy’s latest bourbon lounge has a distinct American skilodge feel. This could be because of the elk’s horns mounted on the wall, or the painting of the mountain peaks behind the bar. It could be the three pages of warming American whisky in the drinks list. Or the deep booths up the back. Either way, it’s a welcoming kind of place. Named for a large brown bear that roams south-west Alaska, Kodiak wears its US love on its sleeve. Kodiak’s cocktails are excellent, in particular the vibrant blue Aviator, which comes with lavender liqueur and a maraschino cherry, and the Speyside Fizz, made with mint, apple and Scotch. It sounds strange, but it works. The American-style hospitality continues in the kitchen, which serves up buffalo wings, pork crackling and Marry Me Marge onion rings. The main bar is intimate without being tiny and there’s a function room for hire. Friendly, knowledgeable staff provide the perfect finishing touch to this homely venue.
Libation
BAR
302 BRUNSWICK STREET, FITZROY
(03) 9416 5302 • MAP P.284
OPEN MON–THURS 4PM–LATE, SAT & SUN 2PM–LATE
BEERS $6–$8, WINES $7–$11, COCKTAILS $18, FOOD $5–$10
VISA, MC, EF TPOS
On the well-trodden turf of Brunswick Street lies a bar named Libation. Housed inside a bluestone beauty, the bar resembles a cosy cave with low lighting to flatter any face. The interior is draped in ye olde worlde–style opulence with elegant chandeliers and regal mirrors decorating the walls. Libation offers a heavenly selection of spirits and cocktails as well as some premium beers and wines. The staff are on the ball and work hard to fulfil any small – or tall – order, or to simply spoil you with a weekly special, so grab a drink and lap up the luxurious lounge space, scattered with a mix of handsome chairs and deluxe couches. The upbeat tunes make it the perfect place to linger for hours on any night of the week but be sure to mosey in off the street for a sweet Sunday session. Love Libation long time.
Little Creatures Dining Hall
BAR
222 BRUNSWICK STREET, FITZROY
(03) 9417 5500 • MAP P.284
OPEN DAILY 11AM-LATE
BEERS $3.70-$19.50, WINES $8.50-$10, FOOD $6–$29.50
ALL MAJOR CARDS ACCEPTED
Cavernous in an industrial warehousey way, the Little Creatures Dining Hall still manages a rustic kind of warmth. Modelled on the flagship brewery on Fremantle Wharf in Western Australia, the Brunswick Street branch captures that designer, drinking-from-the-source feel. For a watering hole best known as a brewery, they’ve got some pretty well-rounded offerings. There’s gorgeous food to fuel the beer sampling, and their hops focus hasn’t stopped them from putting together a solid wine list made up entirely of local delegates. They’ve also been decent enough to carry a few well-loved brews that are not their own. But it’s really their own creations that are the stars of the show, from the intense citrus and grapefruit aroma of their Pale Ale to the heady summer fruit of their ‘sunshine in a glass’ Bright Ale. Their ‘Little’ empire includes much-loved White Rabbit of Healesville and Rogers as well as a rotation of limited release brews done in single batches. And all of this goodness is available on tap and to take home to your loved ones.
Little Markov
BAR
350–352 DRUMMOND STREET, CARLTON
(03) 9347 7113 • MAP P.
OPEN DAILY 5PM–LATE
BEERS $5–$10, WINES $8–$11, SPIRITS $7.50–$20, FOOD $3.50–$30
ALL CARDS ACCEPTED
The simplicity of this alcove’s design means you can focus on what it does best: quality drinks and good bar food. The food (delicious) is imported from Little Markov’s raucous restaurant cousin Markov Place. But apart from chefs, the two have little in common. Where MP is boldly decorated with colourful Spanish commercial art, LM has barely a poster to call its own. Thin tubes of sizzling red neon give this stripped-back, two-room bar a glow. There are snatches of black and white prints on the walls to complement the light art, but other than that, Little Markov is bare. Minimalist yet chic. The drinks list is short and to the point. Beer drinkers can choose from local boutique brands or select imports. They are either from really far away (Belgium, Germany, Spain) or really near (Thornbury, Hawthorn). The wine list favours the Iberian drops and the mixed drinks show the same flair for flavour evident in the food menu – they are part cocktail, part afternoon punch. Go for the Sanchez – tequila with fresh ginger, lime and chilli.
Naked for Satan
BAR
285 BRUNSWICK STREET, FITZROY
(03) 9416 2238 • MAP P.284
OPEN SUN–TUES NOON–MIDNIGHT, WED–SAT NOON–1AM
BEERS $6–$8.50, WINES $8–$12, COCKTAILS $11–$18, FOOD $0.80–$2
VISA, MC
Cone-breasted pin-up girls and moustachioed porn stars pose naked on the back wall of this Steampunk-style bar. The owners have obviously capitalised on the name to include the nymphs and adonises but Naked for Satan has its roots in the venue’s origins as an illegal, depression-era vodka distillery. The workers allegedly stripped bare when they got overheated working for Leon ‘Satan’ Satanovich. Spread over three levels, the modern day Naked for Satan serves updated, above-board, infused vodka. It’s dispensed from a bar that also offers a spread of cheap snacks speared by toothpicks. The food (pinxto – slices of baguette topped with tapenade, prawns, artichokes, cheese or meat) is laid out buffet-style at the entrance. Patrons are invited to help themselves and pay by a quaint honour system. Staff also deliver trays of hot food to the masses who spread out on the red leather couches and the Parisian cafe–style chairs. The distillery theme has been incorporated into Naked for Satan in the form of ubiquitous polished copper that gives the place a toasty amber glow.
Napier Hotel
PUB
210 NAPIER STREET, FITZROY
(03) 9419 4240 • MAP P.284
OPEN MON–WED 3PM–11PM, FRI & SAT 1PM–1AM, SUN 1PM–11PM
BEERS $3.80–$7.50, WINES $6–$8, COCKTAILS $8, FOOD $9–$35
ALL CARDS ACCEPTED
While Fitzroy didn’t always enjoy a sterling reputation, in the last decade it’s become a nexus of artistic and boho culture. Its many pubs have had something to do with that. One such venue is the Napier, which has a loyal following, come rain or shine. The giant chicken parma may be responsible for this. Whatever the reason, the Napier is the true definition of hospitality. Many rave about the Bogan Burger and the kangaroo fillets, but you’ll find the real action happening behind the bar. All beer is Australian. Period. It’s a course that has safely steered this ship through choppy seas, without losing a soul. Sailing analogies aside, there’s an impressive range of tap and bottled beers. The wine list is also a favourite with globetrotting quaffers. Want a glass of French bubbly? No sweat. Or maybe a nice pinot gris from Geelong? Gotcha covered. There’s also a selection of apple cider to be had. (Was that the sound of hipster ears pricking up?) Just don’t ask for a cocktail. You may not survive the stares of disbelief.
The Night Cat
BAR
137–141 JOHNSTON STREET, FITZROY
(03) 9417 0090 • MAP P.284
OPEN THURS 7PM–1AM, FRI & SAT 9PM–3AM, SUN 7PM–3AM
BEERS $4.50–$8, WINES $8–$13, SPIRITS $8–$12
ALL CARDS ACCEPTED
People flock from miles to visit the Night Cat – there’s usually a line that snakes its way down Johnston Street. But once you step through the black curtains into this sweaty jazz hole, you’ll be rewarded for your patience. The beating heart of the Night Cat is its live music; bands play high-energy jazz, funk and hip hop in the centre of the club while the crowd throbs around them. Throughout the night DJs take over to give the musos a break. The bar is just a single room, but a large one verging on nightclub proportions, decked out in typical shabby chic Fitzroyalty-style, with hodge-podge furniture, mismatched lightshades and beaten-in bar stools. Not that you’d notice; the Night Cat is a place for action, not standing around discussing the feng shui of a second-hand couch. For those who want to brush up on their dance moves before hitting the Night Cat’s tiles, there are salsa classes held on Sunday nights. Never mind the sticky floors; it’s all part of the atmosphere.
Panama Dining Room and Bar
BAR
LEVEL 3, 231 SMITH STREET, FITZROY
(03) 9417 7663 • MAP P.284
OPEN TUES–THURS 5.30PM–MIDNIGHT, FRI & SAT 5PM–1AM, SUN 4PM–MIDNIGHT
BEERS $5–$12, WINES $7–$15, COCKTAILS $10–$20, FOOD $7.50–$33
ALL CARDS ACCEPTED
The floor-to-ceiling arched windows are the first thing you notice when you step inside the panoramic Panama Dining Room; they provide views to the Dandenong Ranges and create a magnificent backdrop to this first-floor secret. Inside the bar-cum–dining room the mood is crisp retro. There’s bold wallpaper (zigzags and bubbles) and palm fronds that spring from every corner. A pool table provides the centrepiece and sets a relaxed tone, dividing the serious diners from the serious drinkers, who can gather in groups at low booths, or perch on tall stools and admire the view. Panama rewards wine drinkers with a list befitting the restaurant that shares the loft space. But there’s a separate menu for grazers that mostly features things you can pick up with your fingers (fries, croquettes, sausage rolls and so forth). Despite rising above the din of Smith Street, the Panama gives a peculiar nod to its Collingwood home with full-size plastic laundry baskets that have been turned upside down to act as lightshades (yes, really).
Polly
COCKTAIL
BAR 401 BRUNSWICK STREET, FITZROY
(03) 9419 6539 • MAP P.285
OPEN DAILY 5PM–LATE
BEERS $5.50–$15, WINES $9–$21, COCKTAILS $18.50–$21, FOOD $6–$12
ALL CARDS ACCEPTED
Polly evokes images of a French parlour shared by scarlet women and green fairies. This opulent bar, decorated Moulin Rouge–style in burgundy and gold, is not only one of Melbourne’s foremost cocktail institutions; it is also one of the best places in the city to get absinthe. Bottles of the green spirit come exclusively from France and Switzerland and are served in classic French glasses. Polly provides custom-made fountains that drip the absinthe through a sugar cube balanced on a fleur-de-lis spoon. For traditional cocktails, there are pages of award-winning combinations – the Dominatrix is dark rum and milk mixed with Kahlúa, and a Booty Call combines vanilla vodka with berries. For something more theatrical, order a Light My Fire and watch the flames dance as it is set alight. The staff are knowledgeable and friendly and mix their drinks from the finest ingredients available. Louis XVI–style furniture, oil paintings and red velvet stools complete the picture.
Sentido Funf
BAR
243–245 GERTRUDE STREET, FITZROY
(03) 9416 2689 • MAP P.284
OPEN WED–FRI 4PM–LATE, SAT & SUN 2PM–LATE
BEERS $4.20–$12, WINES $7–$8.50, COCKTAILS $10–$20, FOOD $5–$18.50
ALL CARDS ACCEPTED, $20 MINIMUM
Fans of the Magic Faraway Tree will love Sentido Funf’s shadowy, twinkling back room. The spreading branches of an old tree have been incorporated into an open parlour and strung with fairy lights, fringes and miniature mirrored balls. Disco lights spray spots of colour around the room (which is kitted with its own bar) – the effect is ’80s disco meets neighbourhood treehouse. To enhance the bar’s reputation as a neighbourly hangout, Sentido Funf runs events through the week: trivia on Wednesday, ‘Happy Wings’ on Thursday, bloody mary specials on ‘Sunday blood Sunday’ and so on. In both the beer garden and the garden room the seating is geared towards large groups and community dining. The antique-ish front bar is more intimate, with a thrift-shop, boho feel – flocked wallpaper and a palette of reds and browns are matched with Indian silk prints. Foodwise, Sentido offers stock pub fare all the way (schnitz, parma, roo, F&C). Likewise with the drinks. This isn’t a bad thing, though. Bonus points are awarded for the cheap cocktails, starting at $10.
Southpaw
BAR
189 GERTRUDE STREET, FITZROY
(03) 9004 2590 • MAP P.284
OPEN TUES–THURS 4PM–1AM, FRI 3PM–1AM, SAT 8AM–1AM, SUN 8AM–11PM
BEERS $6–$13, WINES $7–$9, COCKTAILS $12–$16, FOOD $7–$32.50
ALL CARDS ACCEPTED
Get your Gertrude groove on. On a strip headed for high-end heights lies a saviour called Southpaw. This laidback bar offers an unpretentious vibe that honours homey over haute. The decor drips with retro charm and, with an abundance of seating options, you’ll wonder where to down your derrière. Recline in the cosy lounge dotted with grandpa chairs, slot into one of several wooden booths adorned with loopy lamps or, for an intimate view of the boozy brews, dangle your feet from the front room bar stools. Southpaw is gaga about beer, cider and wine, and boasts an array of cheeky cocktail concoctions perfect for any occasion. Slip out back to enjoy the inner-city courtyard or parade out front on the patch of faux grass. Head down on a Friday or Saturday night to pay your respects to the DJs spinning tasteful tunes, and bounce back the next day for the weekend brunch. Southpaw also rustles up quality bar foods and dinners, from Aunty Ro’s sausage rolls to cassoulets. Check it out!
The Tote
PUB
71 JOHNSTON STREET, COLLINGWOOD
(03) 9419 5320 • MAP P.287
OPEN WED–SUN 4PM–LATE
BEERS $4–$12, WINES $7.50
CASH ONLY
When recent government changes to liquor licensing laws caused a short-lived closure at the Tote, a perfectly behaved mob demonstrating against its closure blocked the street outside. Once it reopened, someone spray-painted the door, over the iconic Tote logo, ‘This is The Tote’, and underneath, ‘Never say die’. And die it hasn’t. Established as a live music venue in 1980, the Tote quickly became the Melbourne home for local independent Australian bands. It’s still difficult to talk about the live music scene in Melbourne without mentioning this place. A shaggy contingent of local bands shares the stage with international guests Thursday through Sunday (looking like you’ve washed in the past week will put you in the obvious minority), and a pool table and jukebox round out the entertainment in the front bar. Another favourite game among locals is to guess the chemical composition of the Tote’s carpet. No scientist has yet been brave enough to answer that question definitively. Long live the Tote!
The Workers Club
PUB
51 BRUNSWICK STREET, FITZROY
(03) 9415 8889 • MAP P.284
OPEN SUN–WED 4PM–1AM, THURS–SAT NOON–1AM
BEERS $4–$14, WINES $6.50–$10, COCKTAILS $17–$18, FOOD $7–$28
VISA, MC
With a lick of paint and some expensive wallpaper, the sticky, smoky old Rob Roy has been given a bright new outlook. The Workers Club crew have carved up the venue into several little rooms, each with a different personality. There’s the breezy sidecar dining room, with its white and lime printed tree walls, the red carpet-lined alcove for loitering, and the concrete courtyard for sun lovers and smokers. The front room is a salubrious picture of a local pub for the well-heeled, and, despite the makeover, the music venue out the back of 51 Brunswick Street is still a vital artery in the live music that flows through Fitzroy. The old room has been turned into a wood-panelled tribute to autumn, decorated with brown and orange hues and a treescape backdrop behind the stage. The Workers Club hosts gigs, exhibitions and a couple of canny cooks, who provide grazing plates and full-sized meals seven days a week.
MOST DARING COCKTAILS
Featuring eggs and bourbon in a glass with a side of bacon, this one’s a drink for the wee small hours of the morning.
Absinthe is strong enough on its own, but this drink combines it with vermouth and Cointreau. It will make your hair curl.
Blends absinthe, apple liqueur, apple juice and lemon and tops it off with a sugar cube that is set on fire. To be drunk very slowly.
Get Me to the Greek, The Aviary
This cocktail is a Greek meal in a glass, featuring yoghurt, cucumber and absinthe.
Kermit has just two ingredients: the infamous hallucinogen absinthe, and Agwa, a coca-leaf liqueur that contains guarana and ginseng. In the past, coca-leaf liqueurs have had their brush with illegality because the old-fashioned distilling techniques couldn’t remove all the cocaine. This is no longer the case, but this cocktail will still blow your mind.
The alcohol is Drambuie and vodka; the flavours are honey, eucalyptus and lemon. They’re all shaken up with an egg white and topped off with a sprinkle of fresh cracked pepper. Tastes like Australia.
Takes the unusual combination of mango and herbs then gives it a kick with chilli-infused tequila.
My Mistress and Eggplant, Berlin
The name says it all. Okay, so the eggplant is only a garnish, but the drink also has marmalade in it. That’s pretty daring.
Everything at Der Raum is daring but Pharmacy comes with a citrus pill and Italian bitters served in a syringe, with pear and roasted capsicum gin, so it made the cut.
Red Capsicum and White Chocolate, Berlin
As its name suggests, this drink has red capsicum juice and white chocolate syrup, and is finished with grapefruit bitters. It’s strange but it works.