Bringing up kids is never an easy task. But when we start insisting that they commemorate the lives of past family members, it can put pressure on adolescents to play a game in which perhaps only the parents see value.
So, what do you do when you have a famous relative? Especially given the fact that her grandchildren were pretty young at the time of her death.
Figure 46: The Sandlers at Lake Simcoe
For Stephen and Cookie Sandler, and Tom and Aline Sandler, they’ve elected to take the attitude that Gramma Ruth is someone worth knowing. It’s all about balance. And it’s paid off.
To begin with, each of the current generation of Sandlers knows who their grandmother was, and each recognizes her amazing contribution to the Great American Songbook. So do their friends.
“All my close friends know what she did for popular music,” says Robin Sandler, Tom and Aline’s son.
Robin realizes it’s a great honour to be the grandchild of Ruth Lowe. “It’s an amazing thing knowing that a young Canadian and Jewish woman, who also happened to be my grandmother, helped launch the career of the greatest singer in the history of music,” he says. “To have turned the tragedy of losing her husband into a song that became the anthem for her generation is pretty inspiring. And it’s kind of special to be her grandchild. It’s rare to be related to someone who wrote one of the greatest and most influential songs of the 20th century. Even today, Ol’ Blue Eyes is known as the greatest singer that ever was and ever will be. And everyone who came after him owes a lot to him and his singing style. And to think: my grandmother put him on the map!”
“She was extremely affectionate,” comments Scott Sandler, Steve and Cookie’s son. “I remember her voice singing to me and sitting beside her on the piano bench. And I have memories of driving in the car with her and Papa Nat in Miami. I remember waiting for her to wake up in the mornings at the cottage, and her being the first person I wanted to see.”
Asked about whether Ruth’s famous songs resonate with him, Scott says, “Of course, I like them. They are great songs. And she is also my grandmother. It makes me feel special that she left a legacy. In doing so, she has instilled a love of music in my family that is passing down through the generations. I think that’s pretty special.”
Speaking of that love of music, you have to wonder if the music gene with which Ruth was blessed can travel across the line?
“I love music,” says Scott. “We play lots of songs in our house and dance with our kids just as I did with my parents growing up. My brother Anthony, Cousin Robin, and I all play instruments, and my kids are learning to play as well.”
“I do like to consider myself musical,” says Robin. “I play guitar and piano and have always loved music since I was born. I have no doubt that my grandmother was a huge part in my love of music. I don’t think I would be as passionate about music if I was someone else’s grandchild.”
“I remember her being happy, kind, and loving,” recalls Michael Plotnick, Aline’s son from her previous marriage, Tom’s stepson. “I know about her entire career. And although it’s not the music I listen to today, there is a sense of timelessness to her songs. She was a woman ahead of her times, able to accomplish something truly rare and unbelievable.”
Asked about Ruth’s legacy, Michael says, “I think hers is a great story and inspirational for young Canadian artists, both writers and musicians. I feel special and honored to have had such a famous grandmother.”
Anthony Sandler, Steve and Cookie’s other son, is convinced Ruth was a woman ahead of her times. “She was able to accomplish something truly rare and unbelievable,” he says.
Robin Sandler: “I think every generation should learn about what my grandmother did and how she helped shape the course of popular music. She was way ahead of her time and her story should be seen as an inspiration to all musicians. It’s a long time coming and it’s an important story, not only for the history of music but for Canada as well.”
And then there’s this from Scott Sandler, sharing a bitter/sweet memory from his youth.
“When she was getting sick, I had a birthday party in Toronto, and she wasn’t there. She had sent a tape recorder as a gift and in it was a cassette with her singing to me and telling me she loved me. How cool is that! But I had never used a tape recorder and accidentally erased the cassette. I thought my mother was going to kill me! I have always regretted not having that recording. But the funny thing is I can still remember her voice on it perfectly. It makes me both sad and happy to think about it. It was so long ago, and I was so young...but I still feel like I miss her all the time.”
And then there’s this: the memories never stop.
Toronto’s Globe & Mail newspaper runs an article featuring “A ‘Healing’ Return to the Home of Songwriter Ruth Lowe.” Tom Sandler attends with a reporter to walk through the house where he grew up. The recollections come flooding back. Here are some segments from the article...
When I was younger, she had—oh God, this is bringing back some memories… “Tom Sandler stops mid-word as his voice cracks. “She had bought me a record player,” he resumes, scanning his former childhood bedroom. “It was in the shape of a jukebox and it would glow. And my first record was a baseball record with Dizzy Dean or something like that, then Honeycomb by Jimmie Rodgers.
It’s likely Mr. Sandler’s mother, Ruth Lowe (1914-1981), brought that record home for her tow-headed, rambunctious son in the early autumn of 1957, after it had hit No. 1 on the Billboard chart. Of course Ms. Lowe knew a winner when she heard one: 17 years before, her masterful “I’ll Never Smile Again,” as performed by Tommy Dorsey and His Orchestra and crooned by a fresh-faced Frankie Sinatra, reached No. 1 in July and stayed there until October.
In the fall of 1957, the Sandler-Lowe family had been living in their ranch-style home in Toronto, just north of Eglinton and Bathurst, for less than a year. They’d come from Chiltern Hill Road, a street just south of that same intersection. Mr. Sandler, then seven-years-old, remembers staying at his aunt and uncle’s house for the weekend, then his uncle driving him ‘home’ to an unfamiliar place. It would become very familiar, since young Tommy—who was named after Dorsey—wouldn’t leave until his parents sold the place in early 1973.
Today, Mr. Sandler, an accomplished photographer, is standing with the son of the couple who bought the place, Lawrence Cohen, who, ironically, was given the same bedroom when his family moved in, and his wife of 39 years, Judi Cohen. Mr. Cohen, a real estate lawyer, and Ms. Cohen, a travel professional, moved into the house in 2000 after Mr. Cohen’s father passed away, and they’re listening, rapt, to Mr. Sandler’s reminiscences.
Indeed, when the Cohen family bought the house, Ms. Lowe’s enormous, mono Wharfedale speaker was right where she’d left it. A third memory is that she had a “trippy” way with interior decorating, with rugs-upon-rugs, banana-shaped cushions in the basement rec room, lots of color, “artsy” cork-ball drapes in the kitchen, and paintings on practically every wall. “She was not boring,” he admits. “I don’t know if it’s because she came from such poverty, but she was having fun.
“It was a great house for parties,” Tom Sandler remembers. “My mom was incredible, she had the whole house wired for speakers—way before stereo, this was high fidelity!”
“It’s very healing being here,” finishes Mr. Sandler, smiling. “I think Mom would be very happy.”20
Neat article. But the story doesn’t end there. Have a look at this email that came to Tom the day the item ran:
Dear Tom:
It was so wonderful to read the article in the Globe today about you presenting a framed photograph of your Mom’s (Ruth Lowe) copy of “I’ll Never Smile Again” to the current owners of your family home in the 50’s. It is a piece of music I have loved for years and I will tell you why.
My Dad was stationed on the Queen Charlotte Islands (Haida Gwaii) during World War II as Recreation director for the RCAF base of Alliford Bay. It was his job to keep morale up by entertaining the personnel with activities and music. He played the piano, but copies of popular music were not readily available, so Dad taught himself to play by ear. “I’ll Never Smile Again” was a favorite!!!
Back home in Ontario in the later Forties and Fifties, my Dad was regularly at the piano in our home, Woodstock Radio Station (What’s Behind the Green Door) Program, and community functions playing “I’ll Never Smile Again.”
We were a family of four girls and were all trained in piano. A busy household with a schedule of who could practice when with five of us playing. Years later found myself and my husband transferred to Winnipeg. I had time to fill and found myself in a music shop looking for music to—you guessed it—“I’ll Never Smile Again”! It gave me such pleasure and changed my classical background to “Oldies but Goodies” and always with Dad in mind.
Years later my husband passed away (2016), and my pain was comforted in time at the piano playing “I’ll Never Smile Again.” It was not until today reading about you and Ruth Lowe, that I came to know the story behind the music. It just resonated in so many ways—so poignant—just as the music. So, thank you for sharing your wonderful legacy.
Sincerely,
Jane Lindsay21
And here’s yet another story to do with an amazing song. It’s a sense of déjà vu. Let’s let Canadian Jewish News writer Cynthia Gasner tell the tale from her 2012 column:22
Many Canadians do not know that one of the world’s greatest pop songs of all time, “I’ll Never Smile Again,” was written by a Canadian, Ruth Lowe, more than 60 years ago. Although the song has been recorded by famous orchestras and well-known vocalists, it was not until recently (2004) that attention was once again focused on the composer. The original, four-page, hand-written manuscript turned up in Winnipeg and was returned to Lowe’s son, Toronto photographer, Tom Sandler.
“Although she won a Grammy Award and her music was No. 1 for months, and is still heard regularly, I think she has never been recognized properly in her own country,” says Sandler. “She was a pioneer in the music industry, worked with many of the greats and has produced something that lives on.”
Lowe wrote “I’ll Never Smile Again” in 1939, to express her grief after the death of her first husband, music publicist, Harold Cohen, at the age of 29. She had given the original manuscript to her friend Vida Guthrie, who was the musical arranger for orchestra leader Percy Faith.
Guthrie died in 1990, and the music sheets went to her daughter, Jane Morton, who lives in Winnipeg. Morton did not know what to do with the manuscript (for many years, keeping it in her piano bench where it almost met an untimely end due to a flood: fortunately, she rescued it in time).
This summer, Morton received a call from a friend who told her that the History Channel was going to show a documentary biography on Lowe, who died in 1981 at 66. After she saw Lowe’s son, Tom, on the program, she got his e-mail address and sent him a note telling him that she had his mother’s original manuscript.
OK, Tom Sandler takes over the story from here...
“There have been many magical and wonderful moments in my life, and this was one of them. When Jane Morton contacted me, what she said stopped me in my tracks: ‘Your mom, Ruth, gave my mom, Vida, a copy of the handwritten ‘I’ll Never Smile Again’ manuscript as a gift. For all these years, it’s been in the piano bench in our home in Winnipeg. I’ve been waiting all this time to return it to your family but didn’t know where or how to do that.’”
Figure 47: I'll Never Smile Again original manuscript
“I was deeply moved to hear this. Jane told me about the flood in the basement where the piano was: the water rose to just under the piano bench and no further, so all the music was safe. Jane also said she almost got in touch with the Sinatra family, thinking perhaps they should have it, but something told her to hang on to it. I was overwhelmed and booked a flight the next day to Winnipeg. Jane was waiting for me at the airport, as well as a CBC cameraman and reporter. She handed me the envelope, I opened it, and pulled out the score. The first thing I recognized was my mom’s crazy handwriting, I knew it was the real thing, no question! The reporter asked me how I felt, and I remember replying, ‘I think I’ll Smile Again.’”
We went back to the Morton’s home where they were so gracious and kind. I stayed for the day and caught the late flight back to Toronto with this priceless manuscript in hand. You know, I felt so close to my mom as I held it. It was part of her heart that now had come home to rest. Thank you so much, Jane, for what you did and for the gift you gave us.”
Now, if you haven’t been to Toronto’s famed Casa Loma, you owe it to yourself to correct that. Spanish for “Hill House,” we’re talking a Gothic Revival-style mansion that was constructed in the early years of the 20th century as a residence for financier Sir Henry Pellatt.
It’s here that singer-songwriter Sean Jones brings his “Soul in the City” gig, playing outside in the glass pavilion found amongst the beautiful gardens of Casa Loma. Each evening’s a sell-out with up to 2,000 people attending.
“I decided to write some retro soul music and not worry about making it more modern to try to please a younger audience,” he says. “I have a new sense of confidence that is helping me to feel secure in the decisions that I’m making artistically.”
And believe it or not, that confidence has taken him to the music of Ruth Lowe.
Figure 48: Sean Jones
“I’d never heard the song,” Sean says. “I’d never heard of Ruth Lowe. But then I met Tom and he told me about it, and so I started listening to different versions. It was Billie Holiday’s interpretation that really struck me. And I remember saying, ‘Oh wow! This is something. This is a beautiful song.’ And I started trying to sing it. It wasn’t until I actually started to sing it that I said, ‘Man, this is a gorgeous song!’ So, then I brought it to the band, and they played it so beautifully and we did it for the first time here, at ‘Soul in the City’.”
“Christian did a gorgeous big band arrangement of it,” says Miles Raine, saxophonist in Sean’s group, referring to the trombone player who scores many of their sets. “I’d actually heard the song before, but I never connected how important it was. The whole story of the song was important. I mean, a Jewish woman, in 1939, and the world’s going to hell in a hand basket, and she turns around and writes a song dealing with her grief. I just can’t get enough of that story.”
“Then, we arrive at tonight,” says Sean, “where we’ve got a 26-piece orchestra with strings and flutes and everything. And I just knew we needed to do ‘I’ll Never Smile Again’ with this amazing band.”
Indeed, it was stunning.
Before Sean sang the tune, Tom Sandler got up in front of the crowd and briefly explained the significance of the song without mentioning Ruth. When he came to the end of his dissertation, finally stating it had been written by his mother, there was an audible gasp in the crowd.
“I had tears in my eyes with you talking about this,” Sean tells Tom after the show. “The way you told the story was perrrrrfect!! I mean, everybody was just like...oh man...a collective gasp out of the audience! It’s this honest, sincere passion you have for this story. That’s what got me to listen to the actual song. And, you know, it’s simple, this song. What it’s saying. Simple words and beautiful music. That’s what makes it. It hits you. It’s honest. And that’s the mark of a great song. I’m in love with that song, man. It’s such a great tune: it’s all there!”