MIKE DIDN’T SHOW up for work Wednesday morning. Cal and Karl arrived around nine, emptying the coffeepot and then settling in for news and the occasional check of their computer dating profiles. Finn figured that Mike was simply late, until Cal asked if Finn had heard from Mike that morning.
“He was here yesterday, but left early.”
“I tried to call a few times, but it went to voice mail,” Karl said.
“Huh.” Finn pushed a hand over his head. Since Mike had come out of retirement, he rarely missed a day at the shop. “I’ll drive over and check on him.”
The boys nodded and went back to the news. Finn started for the side door. “I’m heading over to Mike’s.”
Lola lifted a hand without looking away from her computer screen and Finn headed out the door. He dialed Mike as he walked, and as the boys had said, it went straight to voice mail. There was always a chance that he was entertaining his lady friend in an intimate way and had shut his phone off, but Finn couldn’t see his grandfather playing romantic games early in the day.
There was always a chance, though, so he checked for Elaine’s car when he pulled up at Mike’s house. Her usual parking spot was empty and the curtains were drawn on Mike’s windows. Maybe Mike was at Elaine’s house...
Finn took the steps two at a time and after a brief hesitation, knocked on the door. He heard shuffling inside and tried the doorknob. It was unlocked so he pushed the door open. Mike stopped halfway across the room, Buddy held against his chest. The kitten peeked out over Mike’s big hand, but for once, Finn was immune to that crazy cuteness. His grandfather’s usually neat hair was practically standing up and his eyes were red-rimmed, as if he hadn’t slept. If Finn needed any other indicator that something was wrong, there was a Jameson bottle next to his grandfather’s favorite chair. Mike never drank alone, but it appeared that had been exactly what he’d been doing last night.
“What the hell?” he asked as he closed the door behind him. “Why isn’t your phone on?”
“I needed some time.”
Mike turned and slowly moved back to his chair. Once he was seated, Buddy scrambled up the back cushion to the top, behind Mike’s head. Finn knelt next to the chair. “What happened, Grandpa?”
Mike moistened his dry lips, then said simply, “Elaine.”
“Did you guys break up?”
Mike met his eyes and Finn was rocked by the depth of pain he saw there. “Cancer. She has cancer.”
“Damn.” The word came out softly. “I’m so sorry.”
Mike just shook his head and then settled it back against the cushions, staring at the opposite wall.
“Do you have any details?”
“Not a lot.”
His grandmother, Mike’s wife, had died of breast cancer. Losing his beloved Annie had ruined Mike, and then he’d lost his nephew, Dylan’s father, not long after. A double whammy it had taken Mike years to recover from.
Finn put a hand on his grandfather’s knee. “What kind of cancer? Do you know?”
“Esophageal.”
“How’s Elaine taking it?”
“Better than I am,” Mike said. “I need...time...to get used to this.”
“I’d tell you that you need to be strong to help her through this, but you know that.”
“That’s exactly why I did my drinking last night. I got it over with and now I can focus on the inevitable.”
“Are you sure it’s inevitable?”
“I haven’t had a good batting record so far when it comes to dread diseases.”
Finn got to his feet, clearing the thickness from his throat before saying, “Do you want me to hang with you here for a while?”
“Somebody needs to run the store.”
“Lola’s there. Cal and Karl—not that they’re employees, but they’ve been there for so long, I think they could run the place without either one of us.”
Mike smiled weakly. “I’m not one for feeling sorry for myself,” he said gruffly.
“No shit. Or for letting me or Dylan feel sorry for ourselves.” Finn took a seat in the recliner. “But sometimes it’s okay to grieve.”
Buddy caught sight of Finn in the adjoining recliner and poised himself at the edge of his chair, wiggling his rear end as he prepared to leap up onto Finn’s lap. Mike reached behind him to scoop the kitten into one palm and stop the disaster before it happened. “Not yet, little guy.”
The kitten walked up Mike’s shirt and settled on his shoulder, tucking his little head against Mike’s neck. The old man’s expression relaxed an iota.
Finn leaned forward, loosely clasping his hands between his thighs. “I...uh...was thinking. I’m not home as much as I used to be, what with night classes and stuff. Maybe Buddy should just, you know, move in here.”
Mike gave Finn a sharp look. “Then your house will be as lonely as this one is.”
“I have my shop. The metalwork.” He shrugged one shoulder. “Maybe Buddy could get a little brother or sister.”
“Have to be mighty damned little, considering Bud’s size.” But Mike didn’t seem displeased by the suggestion.
“He needs to settle in one place or the other,” Finn said. “Cats are territorial. He’ll be happier if he has one home.”
“Are you sure about this?” Mike asked gruffly, stroking the kitten with the tips of his fingers.
“I’ll still have visitation rights. And if you need me to take him because...you know...then Buddy has a place he knows. But we’ll go into this assuming that is not going to happen.”
Mike gave a silent nod and Finn leaned back against the cushions again. It wasn’t like he was losing Buddy, but he was going to miss the little guy while he was in the shop. And regardless of what he’d just told Mike, he didn’t think another kitten was in his immediate future.
* * *
MOLLY PUSHED DOWN hard on her briefcase, trying to contain the overload of papers she planned to take home that evening to grade while Georgina was out with Chase. She might honestly have to think about accepting papers over email and marking with track changes...at some point in the distant future. She still liked paper. She’d just gotten the case locked when someone knocked on her door, then pushed it open before she could answer.
Finn. Tall, dark, truant.
Molly straightened and pushed her glasses a little higher on her nose, telling her heart to slow down. Just the guy you’ve been having hot, impossible dreams about. “You missed class yesterday.”
“Mike needed me.”
She put both hands on the handle of her briefcase. “You’re supposed to let me know when those things happen.”
“Yeah.” He hooked his thumbs in his front pockets. “I didn’t think about it at the time.”
“Did...something happen to Mike?” she asked, alarmed by his grim expression.
“Elaine.” Molly frowned as she tilted her head and he added, “Cancer,” making her heart slam against her ribs.
“I’m so sorry.”
“It’s scaring the hell out of Mike and I didn’t want to leave him. Elaine came over and we discussed her prognosis and I did my best to calm Mike down. He...uh...my grandmother died of cancer.”
“I see.” Molly glanced down at the floor, her gaze running smack into Finn’s boots. She looked up again. “I’m truly sorry about this. Your work will be excused, of course, and I’ll give you the assignment.” She started to open her briefcase, but Finn stepped forward, shaking his head.
“Do you really think you should?”
Molly shook back the hair that had fallen over her shoulder. “I don’t understand.”
“I guess my question is...is my being in this class a waste of time for both of us? Honestly, do you think I can achieve my goal?”
Molly’s chin sank to her chest. “You’ve already paid for the course and you’re halfway through. Why not finish?”
“Because I’m really wondering if I’m actually the one doing the work. It seems as if my hand is being held every step of the way.”
She took a couple of steps toward him, stopping at the edge of her desk. It was the closest she’d been to him since they’d kissed in McElroy’s parking lot. Her body mentioned this to her in a couple of different ways, both of which she ignored. “Have you learned anything?”
Finn considered for a moment. “I...guess I can identify some of my issues, even if I need help fixing them.”
Molly made an open-palmed gesture. “So you’re leaving better than you came in.”
“Yeah, am I wasting our time?”
He wanted a definitive answer, so she gave him one. “No.”
“You’re sure.”
This Finn was so very different from the Finn of her teen years. Of course everyone had insecurities, but back then she’d never once considered the possibility that amazing Finn Culver would struggle at things she did easily. Yet she had no difficulty in believing the opposite—she had trouble with things Finn did not. Socializing, for one. Basketball, for another. But being bad at social activities and intramural sports wasn’t going to affect her chosen career. Difficulty with English could hurt Finn’s.
Molly glanced up at the clock, then back at Finn, who was studying her bulging briefcase with a faint frown. “Let me buy you a cup of coffee.”
He brought his gaze up to hers. “You’re being ironic, right?”
Molly smiled a little. “No. Just less standoffish. We can go to the student union.”
Finn gave a small nod. “Sounds good. I’ll buy.”
“I think you missed the first part of the invitation, as in, ‘Let me buy you a cup of coffee.’”
“Fine. You buy.”
They crossed the common and Finn snagged a table in the nearly empty cafeteria while Molly got two black coffees. She set the mugs down and took her seat. “I like that they give a choice of paper or ceramic. Paper is... I don’t know...temporary, I guess.”
“Not a big fan of temporary?”
“When you move as many times as I did as a kid, one of two things happens—either you get really good at being temporary or you really resent it. My brother and sister were good at it.”
“You resented it.”
“When you’re shy, being uprooted every one to two years is not much fun.”
“You stayed here three.”
“We moved here so that my dad could put the big grocery store back on track. It took a year and a half and I begged him not to make me go with them on the next move. Offered to live with my best friend, Julie Faraday.”
“Didn’t she—”
“Move. Why yes, she did. Shooting that plan all to pieces. Anyway, Mom and Dad decided that Dad could commute to Spokane for the last year and a half while he worked on a department store there. So I got to go to most of high school in one place.”
“What exactly did your dad do?”
“He saves stores.” Molly set down her cup and did her best to explain her father’s occupation, which still had him on the road. “They’re in Alabama now. I think this might be one of his last consulting jobs, but he’s said that before.”
“Do you like what you do, Molly? With the Dennys and the grading and all that?”
Finn had obviously been spending some serious time thinking about his future and Molly considered her words carefully before she said, “I do. There are days, sometimes weeks, when I wish I’d become anything except a teacher, but...all in all, I like it. I feel good when most days are done. The Dennys...that part can be challenging. Staying tactful can be challenging.” And apparently she’d failed at the tactful part with Denny.
“I worry about that,” Finn said matter-of-factly. “I might keep my patience for a while, but the Dennys of the world would wear me down.” He gave her a look. “I would break.”
“It gets better with practice,” she said. “In the beginning...it can be rough. I won’t lie. You have to grow a thick skin.”
“You have to learn to take crap from nitwits as near as I can tell.”
Molly fought a smile, but it faded as she said, “Thinking of changing your career goal?”
“Wondering about my aptitudes.” He gave her a humorless smile. “I hate wasting time.”
“Education is never a waste of time.”
He gave her a surprised look. “I...guess not.”
“Tell me about Elaine and Mike.”
Finn swirled his last bit of coffee but didn’t drink. “She has esophageal cancer. Mike has already lost my grandmother and my uncle, and he’s not ready to lose someone else.”
“They haven’t been together for that long.”
Finn considered for a moment. “Yeah. I know. If they were younger, I’d be concerned. But they know what they want.” He drained the last of his coffee. “Lucky.”
Molly gave him her empty cup when he held out his hand and he took them both to the counter where the used cups were collected. “I need to get back to the store,” he said when he came back to the table. “Lola’s there, but Chase had to take the afternoon off. I don’t want Cal and Karl loading grain.”
They started back to her office and after he’d opened the door to her building, Molly said as casually as possible, “About Chase...?” Finn gave her a curious look and she continued, “He and Georgina are getting kind of serious.”
“I gathered.”
“He’s a good kid, right?”
“What do you think, Molly?”
“You know him better than I do.”
“He’s overcome some decent odds to get where he is today. I don’t see him going anywhere but up.”
Not what she’d hoped to hear. Not even close. She wanted someone who was already “up” for Georgina. They rounded the corner leading to her office and before she could say anything else, Finn said, “You have a customer. A surly one from the looks of things.”
Sure enough, Jonas was leaning against the display case opposite Molly’s office. And even though he was looking at her as if she was a lower life form, she knew for a fact that Jonas hadn’t given her a poor review because his class had been chosen for the second round of student evaluations.
“Hi, Jonas. What can I do for you?” Molly asked, doing her best to sound positive.
“Well,” he said in his overly precise voice. “You could be on time for your office hours.”
Molly’s smile froze. So much for positive, but she told herself not to react, because that was what people like Jonas fed on, although it was a bit of a challenge to keep her composure when Jonas held up his phone, which read 16:05, and snapped, “Some of us have schedules to keep.”
“And some of us need to learn to treat people with respect,” Finn growled. “She is your instructor.”
Jonas’s gaze jerked toward Finn. “Who are you to give lessons in deportment?”
“Your elder,” Finn said calmly, but when he turned to Molly to say goodbye, she could see the tension in his face. He was doing his best not to pop the kid and she appreciated his effort.
“Do you want me to stay?” he asked. “I could hang here in the hall.”
It took Molly a surprised second to say, “No. I’m fine. I’ll see you later.”
“You’re sure?”
“You’re wasting time,” Jonas muttered.
“And you’re a little...” Finn closed his mouth and after a quick look at Molly, headed down the hall.
Jonas watched Finn go down the hall through narrowed eyes, then turned back to Molly, waiting with barely contained patience for her to open her door.
She walked inside and took her time putting her purse away. Two could play the discomfort game. “What do you plan to major in when you go to college, Jonas?”
He seemed surprised at the question. “I plan to be an electrical engineer.” He pulled yet another assignment out of his bag. “I have an issue with your marks on this essay.”
“Have a seat, Jonas.”
“I also have an issue with your condescending tone.”
Molly’s eyebrows rose. “I have an issue with your rudeness and I suggest that until you can conduct yourself politely, you leave my office.” She might want to keep this job, and student evaluations might play a part in that, but there was also the small matter of self-respect.
Jonas blinked at her. “You work for me.”
“I work for the state of Montana, which pays me to give you an education. It doesn’t pay me to sit in my office while you take potshots at me.”
“This is why I’m getting Bs, isn’t it? You don’t care for me.”
“You’re getting Bs because you’re doing B work.”
“I’m a high school student taking a college class.”
“The grade of which will go on your college transcript. College. There will be no notation that you were a high school student at the time and got a break because of it.”
“I bet he gets breaks.”
Molly’s blood went cold. “Excuse me?”
“I think you understand my meaning.” Jonas snatched the paper up from her desk and strode out of the room without a backward glance. Molly stared at the empty doorway, and then pressed her palm against her forehead. Finn wasn’t the only one who sometimes had difficulty keeping his cool. But this was her job and she wouldn’t let the Jonases of the world ruin it.
* * *
AFTER LEAVING MOLLY to deal with Jonas the mini asshole, Finn helped Lola close down the store, then picked up barbecue tri-tip, coleslaw and rolls at the local market and drove over to Mike’s place with his dinner. His grandfather was doing better. The shock had worn off and he was putting on a braver face. Buddy trotted along behind him, attacking his pant leg and his shoes, making Mike smile at a time when he probably didn’t feel like smiling, and Finn knew in his heart that giving Mike full custody was the best move. Even though he was going to miss his little feline friend.
“Are you coming to the store tomorrow?”
“Probably. Elaine and I are going to lunch.” Mike met Finn’s gaze, his expression solemn, still a little bemused. “I kind of thought losing two people close to me was enough for one lifetime.”
“I know.” Finn knew his grandfather meant two untimely losses and he didn’t bother with platitudes. “Just know that I’m here with you. And Dylan and Jolie will be back shortly. We’ll tackle this together.”
“Thanks.” Mike bent down to scoop up Buddy and headed for his chair.
“Are you staying for dinner?”
“I ate a sandwich a little bit ago, but I’ll sit with you while you eat?”
“To tell you the truth, I’m not that hungry right now.”
“But you will eat.”
Mike gave him a weary nod. “Yes.”
“You want me to stay and watch television with you?”
“I want you to go home and work on your Ford.”
Finn gave his grandfather a long look. “Go,” Mike repeated. “I’ll see you tomorrow.”
Finn headed out the door, doing his best to tamp down his frustration at the new difficulties his grandfather faced, at least until he was outside the house. As he walked down the steps, Molly approached the fence separating her property from Mike’s. She looked tired yet friendly. Amazing what a shared coffee could do.
“Hey,” he said. “Did you beat that kid to a pulp?”
“Did my best. He’s pretty bulletproof.” Molly gave him a dark smile but her face was still set in tense lines as she added, “His parents donated land to the school, you know.”
“Very important people.”
“Important people annoy me.” She dropped her hand from the top of the fence. How’s Mike?”
“Doing okay.” Finn shifted his weight and glanced over Molly’s head at her house as he debated, then back at her. “You want to go beat some metal?”
The look on her face made him feel like laughing. He managed not to.
“That isn’t a euphemism for...anything? I mean...you’re not getting parking lot ideas again?”
Now he did laugh. “I’m talking actual metal hammering.”
“For what purpose?”
He sauntered forward a step, closer to the fence, closer to Molly. Yes. He could smell what he now thought of as Molly scent. Sweet. A little floral. A little citrus. It made him want to bury his nose in her hair and breathe deeply. He’d probably get smacked in the process...
“The purpose is to take out frustrations in a productive way.” He smiled a little at her wary expression. “You won’t know what I’m talking about until you’ve hammered out a dent.”
“It’s therapeutic?”
“Very.” He could think of only one thing that was more therapeutic and Molly wasn’t on board for that as near as he could tell—more’s the pity. He cocked his head. “Come on, Molly. Take a chance with a guy who lacks substance.”
“You aren’t going to let that die.”
“You struck a nerve.” Which was true. No one wanted to hear that they were just a pretty face.
“I only meant that you weren’t right for my life plan.”
“Maybe I’m not interested in being part of your life plan, so it’s a moot point.”
“Ouch.”
“But you’re relieved, aren’t you?”
Molly cocked her head. “This is one strange conversation.”
Finn jerked his head in the direction of his truck. “Coming?” She hesitated, so he added, “No kissing.” Her eyebrows went up at the candid promise. “Scout’s honor.”
“Were you a Scout?”
“Honor is honor. Come on.”
* * *
WHAT ARE YOU DOING?
Molly clutched the steering wheel a little tighter as she followed Finn’s truck into his driveway, then forced her fingers to relax.
Living life on my own terms. Which was legit and part of her overall life plan.
Don’t get burned. Also part of her life plan.
Hammering metal shouldn’t get her burned. She and Finn could be friends, and she was certain that was now the direction they were heading in. They’d kissed and it had almost gotten away from them—a warning sign to both of them to not go there, to the point that Finn had made no kissing a condition of her visit. Or had he simply been trying to put her at ease?
Whatever. She was here now and there would be no kissing...which kind of freed her up to enjoy the view as he led the way to his workshop.
This tug between what was possible and what was logical was killing her.
Finn opened the door and stood back as Molly stepped inside the shop, pausing to take in the brightly lit space. A pickup truck with its hood up dominated the center of the shop. Long workbenches and tool chests lined two of the walls, while machinery and racks of wood and metal took up the other two.
“Oh my gosh.” Molly made her way past the big Ford truck to what could only be described as a monster standing next to the rear exit.
“Frankie.”
“Original name.” Molly grinned as she reached out to touch the intricate pattern of bolts that formed his hair. “You made this?”
“I hated throwing away all the scrap. I could have sold it by the pound, but it was more fun turning it into Frank.”
“And you have another one.” A smaller frame of a squat little creature stood a few feet away, on the opposite side of the welder.
“As yet nameless. He will be shorter and lighter. I want to put him on the lawn for Halloween. I had similar plans for Frankie, but he wouldn’t be that stable on uneven ground. I don’t want to squish a passerby or anything.”
“Never a good thing.”
She looked around the shop, then back at Finn. “I like the way this place smells.”
“It smells of grease, oil and fuel.”
Molly shrugged. “Guess I’m a grease, oil and fuel kind of girl.” She was also still a touch nervous being there. No, not nervous. Self-conscious. Finn in his own environment was a bit overwhelming. Being in the shop seemed to double his Finn-ness, his basic masculinity, and parts of her were starting to pay close attention. Was it possible that she would never move past this physical connection? What had attracted her to him in high school before she’d known one thing about him, still attracted her, would possibly always attract her, despite logic and reason to the contrary. And there were viable reasons to the contrary.
While she didn’t really think Finn lacked substance, she knew he’d never fit into the world she was building. The nice quiet world where everyone knew where their next paycheck was coming from, nobody spent too much time hanging in bars. Where careers were settled. Life was settled. Boring. Sedate. Wonderfully comfortable.
Finn didn’t make her feel comfortable. He made her feel the way she’d felt when she first met Blake, and that was a red flag of ample proportions.
“About that metalworking?”
Finn jerked his head toward a bench with pieces of sheet metal on a rack nearby. “We’ll just do some practice hammering today.”
“And if I’m good at it?”
“I’ll put you to work. Double my production.”
“Tempting, but I have enough on my plate. More now that my observation is coming up.”
“Observation?” Finn took a smallish piece of sheet metal off the rack and took it to a disk-shaped piece of equipment sitting on a sturdy bench.
“Part of my professional evaluation. I get observed once formally, several times informally. Two student evaluations. If I pass the first evaluation, then I get evaluated once every six semesters.”
Finn placed the metal next to the disk. “What happens if you don’t pass?”
“That won’t happen.” Molly spoke automatically, because it wouldn’t happen. Even with a tiny ripple in the student evaluation area, she knew she was good at what she did. There was always room for improvement, but as far as the basics went, she had them down. “If it did happen—to someone else—they’re put on probation and have opportunities to remediate. Or they get fired.”
“That would sting.”
“Yes.” For a brief moment she teetered on the brink of telling him about the horrendous student review that was now in her file. She hadn’t told anyone, not even her sister, but to let it out...to have someone say, “One review? How could that possibly matter?” would make her feel better.
She couldn’t do it.
Finn picked up a pair of safety glasses large enough to cover her own glasses and instead of handing them to her, carefully slid them onto her face, then stood back to judge the effect. “You appear suitably bug-eyed.”
“Always a goal of mine.” Not. It had been hell being the girl who wore glasses, but contact lenses bothered her. Finn grinned and then bent over to dig around in a bin beneath the bench, coming up with a thick pair of gloves.
“Keep you from getting metal cuts.”
Molly put on the gloves and held up her hands. “Awkward.”
“You’ll be glad of them later. You come more often and I’ll see if I can dig up a pair that fits you.”
“You think I’ll need to take out my frustrations often?”
“Is Jonas your student?”
“Point taken.” But she couldn’t see herself coming to Finn’s private lair all that much, not when she kept breathing just a little more deeply to draw in his scent. Bad Molly.
Finn gestured toward an array of hammers, ball peens and some with odd flat heads. “This is a chasing hammer. Metal moves away from the area you pound, thinning.” He put the sheet of metal over the disk and started tapping away at the center and moving out. “As you hammer, you pretty much chase the metal as it thins and it shapes to the dolly, the form, that is.” He handed Molly the hammer.
“Have at it.”
“Okay.” Molly started tapping away, felt the metal give beneath the hammer.
“Move it in this direction...”
Molly followed Finn’s instructions, hammering from the center out until her flat circle was now a lovely, relatively smooth dome.
“I made a hubcap.” She laid down the hammer and picked up her handiwork.
“Kind of.” Finn smiled at her. “I’ll show you how to do some different textures...”
Half an hour later, Molly had used a variety of hammers for a variety of different techniques. Finn was a patient teacher and she could see now why he wanted to make it his career. He made her feel confident, even though she’d been patently uncertain when she’d walked into his shop.
“You’re different here,” she said without really thinking.
“You are, too.”
Molly wanted to ask, “How so?” but didn’t. This was not a real place for her. She was visiting Finn’s world, which was far different from her own.
“Have you made any other artwork?” she asked.
“Artwork?”
“Frankie?”
Finn gave a scoffing laugh. “That’s not art. That’s recycling.”
Molly disagreed, but wasn’t there to argue. “Do you have any other recycling?”
“A few pieces in my backyard. Smaller.”
“Can I see them before I go?”
“You’re leaving?”
Molly bit her lip. So very tempting to say, No. I’m not leaving, and then see what unfolded. “I think I’d better.”
He didn’t argue. Molly took off her glasses and her gloves, set them side by side on the bench. “This has been fun.”
“You’ll have to come back.” He said it in a way that told Molly that he didn’t believe she would. He was right. Being here...she saw too much potential for trouble. For getting in over her head. as she’d gotten in over her head with Blake.
They left the shop and walked by the light of the full moon up the short path to his house. He veered to the right and opened the gate of the chain-link fence. His back porch light was on, illuminating the metal pieces in his backyard. Molly went from piece to piece. A funky glass table supported by what looked like a twisted tree, a chair made entirely of old rusty bolts, a swan with raised wings supporting a rustic wooden planter.
“That’s it. These three pieces.”
“You’re talented. Ever thought of making this your career?”
“I was thinking that I wanted something more stable.” He shot her a sideways look. “Surely you understand that.”
“I do.” She smiled a little. “You are a good teacher.”
“I know.”
“Can you handle the Jonases of the world?”
“Do those guys take automotives?”
“The Dennys do.”
Finn let out a breath. “You had to say that.”
“Reality bites.” She reached out to touch him, to lay her hand on his upper arm. His gaze jerked toward her as his muscles tensed beneath her fingers. “I don’t want you to give up the idea of teaching. Not for a second. But it’s important to go into it with eyes wide open. It’s not what it looks like from the outside. Many students are not empty vessels waiting to be filled. They’re there for a credit and to cause trouble.”
“Rosy picture.” He started back out the gate and Molly followed as they headed down the driveway toward her small car. “Sometimes I envy Dylan. He may have taken some side trips, but he always knew what he wanted. And now he’s accomplished it.” He stopped next to her car. “I imagine you always knew what you wanted to do, too.”
“Guilty.”
Finn lifted his chin, looked over the top of the car off into the distance, then back at her, making an obvious effort to push unsettling thoughts aside. “Did hammering help with your frustrations?”
“Yeah. It did.” The mental ones, anyway. The physical ones...not so much. “Thanks for inviting me.”
Molly opened her car door and Finn stepped back. “Hey,” she said softly. “Since I’m here—” and since they were not at odds with each other “—tell me about Chase. What did you mean about him going nowhere but up?”
One corner of Finn’s mouth tightened briefly. “His dad died in prison.”
Molly’s mouth fell open. “I...uh—”
“Chase is not his dad. He’s a good kid.”
“But still.”
“We can’t all come from Ozzie and Harriet backgrounds.”
“I realize that. I just feel protective of my sister. I don’t want her involved with anyone who would—” she made a helpless gesture “—I don’t know, screw up her life?”
“I get that. I’m sure Chase doesn’t want to be involved with anyone who would screw up his life, either. He’s working hard, Molly.”
“What’s his mother like?”
“Not dangerous, if that’s what you’re asking. She’s a sweet woman who got hooked up with the wrong guy.”
And that was exactly what Molly was hoping her sister wouldn’t do. She suddenly had more questions. Lots of them.
“He’s never been in trouble.”
“Not like I was.”
She gave him a dark look over the top of her glasses. “That’s not reassuring.”
“He thinks Georgina is perfect.”
“Well, I’ll give him a couple points for that.” She let out a sigh. “I don’t want to come off as a snob.” A lift of his eyebrows told her that was exactly what she was coming off as, which ticked her off. “I’m just being protective, okay? There’s a difference. If I was a snob, I would look down on Chase because of his background. I don’t. I think he’s a nice kid.”
“But not nice enough for your sister?”
Molly crossed her arms. “Positions reversed...how would you feel?”
Finn considered. “I’d be okay with it. His dad is dead.”
Molly pressed her lips together, then unfolded her arms. “I don’t want to ruin what’s been a nice evening.”
“Then trust me when I say that Chase is a nice kid who won’t do your sister wrong.”
Molly bit her lip, and then opened her car door. “I wish I could, Finn...but I just don’t know.”
“Here’s the thing, Molly...”
His tone stopped her as much as his words. She glanced over at him and he said, “Like it or not, you judge people. Chase is not good enough for your sister, and I’m not good enough for you.”
“I never said you weren’t good enough.”
“It was heavily implied.”
“What I said has nothing to do with your worth as a person. It has to do with what I can and cannot deal with in my life.”
“How am I so lacking?” He reached out to put his hand on the top of her open car door, essentially caging her in.
She dropped her chin, tried to find words before looking back up at him. He was watching her closely, as if her answer honestly mattered—whether he wanted it to, or not. “It’s not a lack. It’s incompatibility.”
“So you say without really knowing me.” She didn’t answer, even though she thought he was wrong. She did know a lot about him. She knew he was compassionate and took care of small orphan animals. He was there for his grandfather. But he was also a guy meandering through life. He had a goal, but he may not be able to achieve it. What then?
Finn shifted his weight and then said with a touch of impatience, “Not every guy you go out with has to be husband material, Molly—for you or your sister. Have you ever thought about just having fun and not worrying about compatibility?”
“I don’t think I’m wired that way.”
His hand dropped away from the top of the car door. “Your life, Molly. You’ve got to live it the way you see fit.”
“Thank you. I will,” Molly said, not missing the censure in his words. Who was judging whom now? “And for your information, it isn’t about me not wanting to have fun...it’s about me trying to make the best choices possible. There’s nothing wrong with having a plan and sticking to it.”
Especially when the objective of that plan was peace of mind and security.
“Tell me about this damned plan of yours.”
“What?”
“I’m also trying to make a plan. Maybe I can use yours as a prototype.”
She gave a short laugh. “I don’t think so.”
“Guys like me can’t use a plan like yours?”
“You have different objectives.”
“Tell me about your objectives.”
For a moment, they faced off, then Molly slowly stepped out from behind the safety of the car door and swung it shut. Now there was nothing between them except for a couple feet of gravel and a healthy dose of animosity. She walked around him to the front of her car, put a foot on the bumper and hoisted herself up to sit on the hood. If she was going to have an uncomfortable discussion, she was damned well going to be physically comfortable while she did it—or pretend to be comfortable.
“You’ll scratch your paint doing that.”
“So?”
He folded his arms over his chest again and waited while Molly massaged the tense muscles at the back of her neck with one hand. So much for feeling better after metal hammering.
“I hooked up with a guy who looked really good on paper,” she finally said. “A semi-professional athlete.” Finn’s eyebrows lifted and she glared at him. “Don’t be so surprised.”
He took a couple steps closer. “I didn’t think you were into athletics.”
“I can watch quite nicely.” And she had once enjoyed hiking and skiing. “Anyway, eventually it became...very clear...that we had different expectations in life and that being together wasn’t going to work. For me, anyway.” She ran her fingertips over the smooth, cool metal of the hood. “I wasted a few years of my life on a guy who blindsided me. I’d been... I don’t know...amazed that he and I had hit it off so well. I totally bought into the opposites-attract thing.”
“How’d he blindside you, Molly?”
She shook her head. He didn’t need to know all of her humiliations. “Let’s just say he did. And to keep it from happening again, I did a lot of soul searching. I wrote down what made me feel most comfortable and secure in life. Made a long list. Then I pared it down to a short list of nonnegotiables.”
“What’s your number one objective, Molly?”
“Security.” She wanted to feel as if her world was safe and predictable. And she wanted the people in her world to play by her rules.
“Not love?”
“Not if it interferes with security.”
Finn gave a slow nod. “This guy must have taken you for quite a ride.”
“Yes. And I’m not about to get on board again.
He considered her words for a moment, then said, “What if a guy didn’t want anything from you that would interfere with your security?”
“What are you getting at, Finn?”
“What if a guy just wanted to have some fun? Would you be on board for fun?”
Her stomach did a small freefall. Fun with Finn conjured up all kinds of unsettling images.
“I...uh...would have to believe that I wasn’t heading toward another big mistake.” She stretched her legs out then dropped them again, the heels of her shoes bouncing on the bumper. “This guy you’re talking about wouldn’t happen to be you, would it?”
“Well, you could see where I would be a lot of fun.”
The wry note in his voice helped ease some of the tension in her neck and shoulders.
“That’s what Sheena said.”
“Shayna. And that doesn’t have to be the kind of fun I’m talking about.”
She cocked an eyebrow. “Doesn’t have to be?”
“Well... I’m open to a lot of stuff.”
“I bet you are.” Banter she could handle. Serious Finn telling her she was judgmental, not so much. “But as you know, I have strict rules and parameters.” She made it sound as if she were exaggerating, but the sad truth was that she really wasn’t. She did have strict rules and parameters, that helped keep her safe from nasty surprises in life—as safe as one could be anyway.
So why did safe suddenly seem...lame?
Finn.
His lips tilted into a careless half smile, but his gaze was serious as he said, “Afraid you’d fall for me?”
“Well...you are Finn Culver.”
He laughed, genuine amusement lighting his eyes.
“You’d better go home, Molly Adamson, before I provide you with too much temptation.”
“Yeah. Right.” She spoke lightly, but the truth was that he was tempting. There was never a time she didn’t find him tempting—even in the heat of an argument.
He was right—it was time to go home.
Molly slid off the hood of the car, ignoring his pained expression as her jeans made a light scratching noise. She dusted off her behind, then once again met Finn’s dark gaze. “Thanks for an interesting evening.”
“Anytime.” One corner of his mouth tightened as his gaze slid down to her lips and Molly felt a tingle go through her. In another time and place he might have kissed her...but not after this conversation. Besides, he’d promised no kissing.
You could change that...
She wasn’t going to. She opened the car door and slid into her seat. “I’ll think about what you said, Finn.” Because she wanted to be openminded, and open to change. She just didn’t want to get hurt again.
“Do that, Molly. I’ll talk to you later.”
* * *
MOLLY UNLOCKED THE front door and walked into her silent house. Georgina’s books were stacked on the coffee table and her laptop was open, but her purse was not hanging on coat hooks as usual. Molly wandered into the kitchen where she found a note propped against the sugar bowl. Out with Chase. Big surprise.
Finn approved of Chase.
She still wasn’t convinced that a guy who came from a wildly dysfunctional background was the guy for her sister, but she’d hold off saying anything for a while. It was totally possible that nature would run its course and that her sister and Chase would break up. No sense creating a sisterly rift when it wasn’t necessary.
Besides, Finn had given her other things to think about.
She almost went to the cupboard for chips, then decided she was woman enough to tackle this business without a crutch. Her notebook was now neatly filed with the cookbooks and she pulled it out, laid it on the table and flipped the cover open.
When her life had been in shambles, not all that long ago, this book had helped her put things back together. It contained goals, insights and, most importantly, promises she’d made to herself. The act of writing those promises down in the form of a life plan was the closest she could get to carving them in stone. She’d stepped outside of her comfort zone with Blake, reaped some benefits, but, in the end, had lost more than she’d gained. Confidence was good, but losing trust was brutal.
But...she rifled through the pages, recalling how lost she’d been when she first started the life plan book...maybe trust didn’t only involve another person. Maybe she needed to trust herself—trust that she could have fun, as Finn had suggested, and not lose herself, or her heart, in the process. It didn’t need to be an all-or-nothing deal. She could cut loose. Date a little.
Trust herself not to slip into a Blake situation.
Her strict parameters had been utterly necessary when she’d first started healing her life, but now that she’d moved forward and gained her confidence back, maybe they were a little too strict.
Surely there had to be a way to address her very natural needs without losing herself in the process.
Molly reached for the pen lying next to the grocery list and turned to the page where she’d listed her goals. She hesitated, then put the pen to the paper and wrote Have a little fun.
* * *
MOLLY SEEMED PREOCCUPIED during class, teaching with a brisker style than usual, but a couple of times she caught Finn’s eye and it seemed as if she relaxed a little. Then Denny or Mr. Reed would ask a question and she fell back into all-business mode. The result was that Finn had no idea what the aftermath of their last conversation was. Whether she was going to give him a wide berth, and whether she was going to loosen up a little. He was shoving his notebook and folders into his old backpack after class had ended when Molly approached his desk.
“Can I speak to you before you go?” she asked in her cool teacher voice.
“Sure.” He had to admit that he loved her cool teacher voice.
She glanced around to see if anyone was close enough to hear, but the class was emptying rapidly, with the exception of Denny, Mr. Reed and Martha, who always took their time. “I’ve given your suggestion some serious thought—the one about having some fun.”
“And...?”
Her mouth tightened again and she shot a glance over at Denny who was eyeing them as if he was looking for some kind of infraction to report. “Maybe I should talk to you later.”
She was worried about Denny? Really?
An idea hit him. “Hey... Dylan and Jolie are coming back earlier than expected and we’re going out on Thursday night. Why don’t you join us?”
This time Finn glanced at Denny, who seemed to be taking a longer time than usual to pack up. In fact, the guy was barely moving.
“Are you waiting to talk to Molly?” Finn asked.
Denny gave him a dark look. “No. I understand the assignment.”
“Well, I don’t,” Finn said easily, before turning back to Molly. Actually it was a lie, because for once the stuff she presented made perfect sense. “Thursday at McElroy’s.”
“Just a casual thing, right?”
“No. An orgy.” Her lips twitched at the corners, as if she were fighting a smile. “Yes, casual. All you have to do is relax and enjoy my pretty face.”
Molly leaned closer to him “You’re a jerk,” she whispered pleasantly.
“I try.”
It was then that he noticed that Denny really was watching them closely while pretending to pack his stuff. He worked up a frown. “Okay. I’ll look up subordinate clauses when I get home, but I don’t think I ever learned about those.”
He looked over at Denny as he spoke just a little too loudly. Molly rolled her eyes.
“Do that. I promise they exist.”
He knew they existed because he’d learned about them the week before. He shouldered his backpack and headed for the door, then waited for Molly outside the main entrance.
“Six-thirty?” he said when she pushed through the glass doors.
“I’ll be there.”
“What’s the deal with jerk face?”
“Denny?” Her eyes cut sideways toward the hallway, when it remained clear, she said, “I think he gave me a really bad review. I don’t want to give him any more ammo.”
“He what?” Finn was surprised at the surge of protectiveness that welled up inside him.
“No big deal, Finn. I want to keep it that way.”
“Are you sure?”
She actually laughed a little. “Positive. I’ll see you at McElroy’s. Six-thirty.”
He gave her a nod, glad that she’d agreed, and headed for his truck while she jiggled her keys and waited for Denny and Mr. Reed to finish their slow journey out of the classroom.
If teaching meant patiently dealing with the Dennys of the world, then there really was a good chance that it wasn’t the profession for him.
* * *
FINN WAS WAITING near the entrance of McElroy’s when Molly pulled her car into the lot and parked a few spaces away from his truck. She’d stopped wasting time worrying about where she should be edging ever closer to the slippery slope that was Finn—whether she was really in control of the situation. She was doing it. She was going to have some fun. Instinct was pushing her forward and she simply had to stop letting knee-jerk fears keep her from living her life. Finn wasn’t looking for anything heavy and deep, and since she wasn’t, either, this made sense.
Finn met her halfway across the parking lot and, as he closed the distance between them, he smiled that crooked smile, which made her stomach tumble a little. “Glad you could come. Dylan and Jolie are looking forward to meeting you.”
And she was nervous about meeting them. This seemed a lot like a real date.
A thought struck her. “They know we’re just friends, right?”
Finn opened the door and Molly walked inside. “They know you’re here with me. They have no more information than that...but they’ll be curious.”
“Then let’s put an official title on our relationship. We’re friends.”
He frowned at her. “How close of friends?”
“Not screw buddies. And if you get laid after you drop me off, I have no right to complain.”
He took her hand and squeezed her fingers. “I don’t see myself getting laid after dropping you off. If I was dropping you off. You drove. Remember?”
“By the way, Jolie ordered beer. Are you okay with that or do you want to order something else at the bar?”
“I like beer.”
“Good to know.” Finn kept hold of her hand as he led her through the fairly crowded bar toward the table where Dylan and Jolie sat and Molly told herself it was because he didn’t want to lose her in the crowd. Dylan stood as they approached, looking very much as Molly remembered him—tall, dark-haired, handsome. He extended his hand as Jolie got to her feet and offered a quick hug of greeting.
“Hi, I’m Jolie. I don’t know if you remember me.”
“Of course I remember you.” Molly spoke easily, drawing on her teacher self to overcome her suddenly shy self. Jolie had been one of the movers and shakers during high school—confident and bubbly and fun. A cheerleader, while Molly had been a geek. “I was kinda invisible.”
“You were one of the brainiacs.”
“Uh...thank you?”
Jolie laughed. “It’s a compliment.” She glanced over at Dylan. “I have a thing for brainiacs.”
Dylan smiled in a way that reminded Molly of both Finn and Mike. “Good to see you again, Molly. Table C, right?”
Molly laughed. “I’d forgotten, but yes.”
Table C had been her favorite table in the library, where she’d spent most of her free time hiding out and studying.
“Uh... Table B?”
Dylan shook his head. “I haunted Table D. Close to the biology reference section.”
“Yes. I remember now.” Dylan had kept his nose buried in books almost as much as she had and she remembered how she’d always thought he seemed like a nice guy. Handsome, like his cousin, but lacking the devil-may-care aura that had so entranced her.
“You know,” Jolie said with mock seriousness, “I kind of feel like a loser because I never had a table.”
“You kind of had to study to have a table,” Dylan pointed out as he slipped a hand around the back of Jolie’s chair.
“Studying...” Jolie made a dismissive gesture. “I did okay with gut instincts and a little luck. Is beer all right, Molly? We ordered a couple of pitchers.”
“Beer is great. Thank you.”
The words were barely out of her mouth when two pitchers clunked down on the table. Finn did the honors, pouring perfect, almost foamless glasses for everyone.
“Haven’t lost your touch, I see.” Dylan raised his glass in a mini salute.
“Some people study. Some people pour beer,” Finn replied. “I didn’t have a table either, because I was busy learning other skills.”
Molly raised her glass. “Here’s to other skills.”
Jolie smiled and drank, then leaned against Dylan’s arm, which rested along the back of her chair. The two radiated contentment, which was so odd after their epic high school feud. If Mike had succeeded in bringing the two of them together, as he’d intimated to Georgina, then he truly had skills in the matchmaking department. What would it be like to be so content?
Molly took a healthy drink. Actually, she had been that content at one time, but it had all been an illusion.
No more illusions for her. She went into things with her eyes wide open, not expecting more than she could be absolutely sure of.
“How long have you guys been seeing each other?” Jolie asked.
“We’re a casual couple,” Finn said solemnly. Molly almost choked before he added, “Which means we’re friends.”
“Testing the waters, so to speak?” Jolie asked. It was not an intrusive question.
“No, we’re just friends,” Molly said. The kind that held hands and made each other’s hearts beat just a little faster. She’d felt Finn’s heart rate ramp up when they’d kissed. “Better make sure Mike understands that,” Dylan said.
“At least if he were matchmaking, it would give him something other than Ms. Fitch to think about,” Jolie said softly. Molly’s eyes went wide at the mention of matchmaking, but the conversation immediately moved on to other Culver family matters—how to be there for Mike while he dealt with Elaine’s illness without being so obvious about it that he grew impatient with them; Jolie going back to work managing the store and how that would affect Lola; Dylan’s and Jolie’s roles in rebuilding the Lightning Creek Ranch after the fire. Molly sipped her beer and listened until Finn said that they hadn’t come to discuss family matters. They’d come to enjoy themselves before family matters took over their lives.
“Hey, sorry for being boring,” Dylan said. “Finn didn’t ask you out to listen to us bitch, plot and plan.”
“I don’t mind,” she said honestly. It was nice seeing a family that was concerned about one another. And the beer was somehow acting as a filter, making everything clearer. Better.
She wasn’t drunk. Maybe slightly buzzed. Whatever her condition, it was pleasant to be out. Even more pleasant to put her hand in Finn’s without hesitation when the music started and Dylan and Jolie automatically headed for the dance floor.
“How do friends dance?” Finn asked as he settled his hands on her waist, keeping a good six inches of air between them.
Molly made a face at him. “Let’s go with the usual way. You know...actually touching? So we don’t look dumb?”
He pulled her closer, the length of their bodies now lightly pressed together. “Like this?”
“Uh...yes. This works.” At the very least, it felt good. Maybe too good as her legs pressed up against his muscular thighs and her breasts came up against his solid chest. “I’m glad we agreed to be friends.” The beer might have loosened her tongue a bit, but it was the truth.
“Why wouldn’t we be friends?” he asked, his voice rumbling seductively close to her ear.
“Uh...all the stuff that’s gone down between us?”
He leaned back to look into her face. “I guess there has been some...stuff.” He pulled her against him again, resting his cheek lightly on top of her head, and she felt him smile against her hair. “I like you anyway. And you kiss well.”
“Gee. Thanks.” The words came out drily and hopefully kept him from realizing that heat was now flooding her midsection. It was more than remembering the kiss; it was him. Having him hold her close, his hand moving over her back in a distinctly possessive way, making her want...more.
Was he doing this on purpose?
She tilted her head back to look up into his surprisingly dark eyes. “Are you doing this on purpose?
“Doing what?” he asked in a way that told her that he knew exactly what she was talking about.
“Trying to get me all hot and bothered.”
He laughed. “Maybe.”
“Won’t work,” she said against his chest.
“Maybe.”
“We’re friends,” she murmured against his chest as the music ended. And she was here to have fun. Hot and bothered could work into that.
Molly danced four—or was it five?—dances with Finn before the band took a break and they settled back at the table. Not long after that, Finn told Dylan and Jolie that he had to open the store and that Molly had an eight o’clock class.
“Fine,” Dylan said, slipping an arm around his fiancée. “Be responsible. We’ll close the place down without you.”
“I didn’t realize they closed at eleven-thirty,” Finn remarked straight-faced.
He and Molly left the bar the way they’d come in—hand in hand—only this time it had a different feel to it. Maybe it was the beer. Maybe it was the dancing, but Molly felt freer than she’d felt in years. She squeezed Finn’s fingers as they crossed the parking lot to where she was parked but didn’t look at him when he shot her a glance.
“Are you okay to drive?” Finn asked as she pulled out her keys.
“I had a beer and a half over a long period of time.” She leaned back against her car instead of opening the door. The air was crisp, so she folded her arms over her chest. “I’m not much of a drinker.”
“I noticed.”
“Well, I did have a table in the library.”
“While I developed other skills.”
Molly smiled at him, liked the way his eyes crinkled sexily at the corners as he smiled back. “I enjoyed being out with Dylan and Jolie.”
“And me.”
“And you.”
“We can do it again.”
“Yeah.” She glanced down at the pavement with a slight frown, her gaze coming up again as Finn reached out to touch her chin.
“No pressure, Molly.”
She smiled tightly, then made an effort to make it feel more real. “I’ve worked hard to get control of my life. To overcome shyness and make a career and get...secure... I guess. I like being your friend, Finn.” Even though she hadn’t thought of him as a real friend until tonight. She’d thought of him more as a crazy-sexy distraction.
“I sense a ‘but’ coming on.”
“No ‘but.’” Molly pushed her hands through her hair, smoothing it back away from her face. “I had that...guy problem...not that long ago, and as I said, I’m still dealing with it.”
“You made strides forward tonight.”
“That I did.” She bit her lip and then smiled up at him. “Thanks to you. But I have to be honest... In ways I’m still dealing with all that.”
Finn reached out to touch the edge of her face. “I hate to think of you hurting.”
The touch, the stroke of his fingers down her cheek, about did her in. Her voice was husky as she asked, “So you understand?”
“That you’re cautious? Yes. I’m not sure what to do about it, but I understand.” He stepped back then, putting his hands in his pockets, giving her space.
Suddenly she didn’t want space. She wanted human contact. “Will you kiss me?”
“Like a friend?” His voice was low, the question legit.
“I don’t...know.” And that killed her because she was supposed to be in control of her life. “What else you got?”
He reached out to take her face between his palms, gently drawing her near. Molly stepped forward as their lips met in a slow, deep, soul-searing kiss. Not casual.
He raised his head, his lips gently pulling away from hers. “Better?” he asked, somehow understanding what it was she had asked for. Had understood that it was more than a kiss.
She briefly rested her head against his chest before looking up at him and saying, “Yes. Better.”