6.
GREEK AND ROMAN MYTHOLOGY
Greek and Roman myths underpin so much of western culture. They contain all the human passions, all the human dramas, and they remind us that, however much the world changes on the outside, people have always had the same fears, desires, virtues and vices.
Some of the characters in Greek and Roman mythology have now become part of the English language, remembered in words and phrases like ‘Pandora’s box’, the ‘Oedipus complex’, and the little variety of daffodil called ‘Narcissus’.
The Greek gods hung out on the top of Olympus, a high mountain, and the boss god was Zeus. The Romans called him Jupiter or Jove. Greeks and Romans saw Zeus/Jupiter as a white-haired, bearded old man.
Zeus/Jupiter ruled over the sky, and used thunderbolts to get the point across to his subjects. He could be just and good but he could also be a bit of a mongrel. For example, Zeus had Prometheus chained to a cliff and left there in endless torture, with an eagle pecking at his liver every day, as a punishment for stealing fire from heaven and giving it to men. Zeus had already decreed that men could not have fire and, boy, he sure meant what he said.
Zeus also organised the other gods into helping create Pandora. He had her ‘made’ (from clay) just so he could give Prometheus a hard time. Pandora had everything going for her, including her box. The gods had given her a box and, rather unfairly, told her never to open it. Of course, she eventually gave in and took a peep inside. Big mistake. Big, big mistake. In the box the gods had each put one quality that could contribute to the misery of the human race. When she opened her box all these nasties flew out, and they’ve been tormenting people ever since. Greed, fear, lust, not doing your homework . . .
However, one quality remained in the box. It was hope, and to this day hope has been the sustaining force of human beings, except in books like Letters from the Inside.
The goddess of beauty, a beautiful woman herself, she is often shown in paintings popping out of the ocean, standing on the beach naked among the shells and seaweed, covering herself with a carefully placed hand.
The son of Aphrodite/Venus, like his mum he had a definitely sexual side. A plump little guy, also usually shown naked in paintings, with wings and a bow and arrow, and sometimes a blindfold, Eros was in the habit of wandering around the countryside shooting his arrows at people and making them fall in love with each other. This sometimes led to complicated situations, when the wrong people fell in love with the wrong people.
This messenger is shown with wings on his heels and hat. The substance mercury is named after him because of the way it moves quickly across surfaces.
The brother of Zeus, Poseidon ruled over the ocean. He was not always a nice guy – he was responsible for earthquakes, for example. In paintings he normally carries a three-pronged fork (a trident) and has a long beard. A generation ago, people sailing across the Equator for the first time were dunked in water in a ceremony of homage to Neptune called ‘Crossing the Line’, which was a way of acknowledging that Neptune was the ruler of the seas.
This was the most evil of the gods, the ancient equivalent of the Devil, ruler of the underworld, and the guy you’d be sent to see if you had a disagreement with a Viking wielding a two-metre sword and the disagreement was not necessarily resolved in your favour.
The god of wine, he was always on for a party. He is usually shown draped in grapes with a goblet (wine glass) in his hand, and often a bit overweight. But he can also be seen looking young, slim, and a bit girly. The word ‘bacchanalian’ comes from his name. To say that a party is bacchanalian is to say that it’s a full-scale orgy.
Helen was a goddess, and a woman of such beauty that her face, people said, could have ‘launched a thousand ships’. She was ancient legends’ answer to Princess Diana. Paris was a guy who was dumped on a mountain when he was a baby, because it was predicted that he would bring bad luck. But a peasant family found him (funny how they never die, the babies in those stories – like Moses, or Harry Potter) and they raised him. He was so good looking that straight men turned gay at the mere sight of him. (That may be a slight exaggeration.)
At a wedding, Paris was put in the awkward position of having to judge the most beautiful goddess out of Aphrodite, Hera and Athene. Each tried to bribe him so she could win the prize. Athene offered him success in war, Hera offered him power, and Aphrodite said she would get him the most beautiful woman in the world.
Well, no contest. Aphrodite pissed it in. She then obtained Helen for Paris, but he had to dump his wife and kids and kidnap Helen from her husband to get her. This didn’t go down well with Helen’s in-laws. Because Paris was from the city of Troy, Helen’s relatives and allies, including Hector and Ulysses, went there to get her back. It was on for young and old. The war lasted ten years and was only ended by a trick. Ulysses told the Trojans that he was giving up. He then had a huge wooden horse made and told the people of Troy it was a gift for their god, Athene. The people of Troy dragged the horse into the besieged city (silly! silly!) but it turned out to be full of Greek soldiers, who jumped out and butchered the people and burnt the city.
No relation to the mufflers, Midas was a king who wanted to have everything he touched turn to gold, for obvious reasons. Trouble is, he didn’t really think this through. When the gods granted his wish he found that food, water, and even his wife and children turned to gold. Eventually, having learnt his lesson, he got the spell reversed.
Minos, the King of Crete, had a cute little pet called the Minotaur. It had the body of a bull and the head of a man. This monster was so dangerous that a special maze was built to stop it escaping. Every year the people of Athens were forced to send seven young women and seven young men as sacrifices; they were put into the maze to be hunted down and eaten by the Minotaur.
The fourteen victims, chosen by lottery, left Athens every year in a ship with black sails.
One year the brave Theseus volunteered to be one of the sacrifices, because he was determined to beat the Minotaur. He told his father that if he was successful he would come back in a ship with white sails.
Off he went. When they got to Crete, the daughter of the king was so impressed by Theseus that she gave him a special sword to kill the Minotaur, and some thread to find his way back out of the maze. Sure enough, Theseus killed the monster, but on his return to Athens forgot to put up the white sails. His father, seeing the black sails, committed suicide.
The labyrinth (maze) that kept the Minotaur from escaping had been built by a guy called Daedalus. Daedalus later had a fight with the king of Crete and was himself stopped from leaving the island. So he made a pair of wings for himself and another pair for his son Icarus. After they’d had a few practice flights, they took off. ‘Whatever you do,’ Daedalus told his son, ‘don’t fly near the sun, or it’ll melt the wax holding the feathers together. Keep your seat belt fastened. In the event of an emergency, oxygen masks will drop from above your head. If you are travelling with an infant, fasten your own oxygen mask first and then that of the child.’
They took off. Conditions were good and they soon reached cruising altitude. After a while, though, Icarus got over-confident and started doing some wild flying. He got too close to the sun, the wax melted, and he plummeted into the sea. Daedalus didn’t see the crash but he saw the feathers floating on the water and realised what had happened. His son had died in the world’s first ever aircraft accident.