Prevent Distraction with Identity Pacts
One of the most effective ways to change our behavior is to change our identity. No, this doesn’t require joining a witness protection program or the CIA. Rather, as modern psychology confirms, slight alterations in the way we see ourselves can have a dramatic effect on our future actions.
Consider an experiment run by a group of Stanford University psychologists in 2011. A young researcher named Christopher Bryan designed a study to test the effects of priming individuals to think of themselves in slightly different ways. First, he asked two groups of registered voters to complete questions related to an upcoming election. One group’s survey questions included the verb “to vote”—for example, “How important is it to you to vote?” The second group answered similar questions that included the noun “voter”—such as “How important is it to you to be a voter?” The difference in wording may seem minor, but the results were extraordinary.
To measure the effect of the small wording change, the researchers then asked participants of their intentions to vote and cross-referenced public voting records to confirm whether they had actually followed through. The results were “among the largest experimental effects ever observed on objectively measured voter turnout,” Bryan and his coauthors wrote in a study published by the Proceedings of the National Academy of Sciences. They found that those shown the survey about being a “voter” were much more likely to vote than those who were asked how likely they were “to vote.”
The results were so surprising that the researchers replicated the experiment during another election to confirm their validity. The results were the same: the “voter” group dramatically outperformed the “to vote” group.
Bryan concluded, “People may be more likely to vote when voting is represented as an expression of self—as symbolic of a person’s fundamental character—rather than as simply a behavior.”
Our self-image has a sizable impact on our behavior and has implications well beyond the voting booth. Identity is another cognitive shortcut that helps our brains make otherwise difficult choices in advance, thereby streamlining decision-making.
Our perception of who we are changes what we do.
The way we think of ourselves also has a profound impact on how we deal with distractions and unintended behaviors. A study published in the Journal of Consumer Research tested the words people use when faced with temptation. During the experiment, one group was instructed to use the words “I can’t” when considering unhealthy food choices, while the other group used “I don’t.” At the end of the study, participants were offered either a chocolate bar or granola bar to thank them for their time. Nearly twice as many people in the “I don’t” group picked the healthier option on their way out the door.
The authors of the study attributed the difference to the “psychological empowerment” that comes with saying “I don’t” rather than “I can’t.” The results were similar to those in the voting study: “I can’t” relates to the behavior, while “I don’t” says something about the person.
To leverage the power of identity to prevent distraction, we can enter into what I call an “identity pact,” which is a precommitment to a self-image that helps us pursue what we really want.
There’s an old joke that goes, “How do you know someone is a vegetarian?” The punch line: “Don’t worry, they’ll tell you.” You could replace “vegetarian” with any number of monikers, from marathoner to marine, and the joke would still ring true.
I was a vegetarian for five years. As anyone who has tried a meat-free diet knows, friends always ask, “Don’t you miss meat? I mean, it tastes so good!” Of course I missed meat! However, when I began calling myself a vegetarian, somehow what was once appetizing suddenly became something else. The things I once loved to eat were now unpalatable because I had changed how I defined myself. It wasn’t that I couldn’t eat meat; I was a vegetarian, and vegetarians don’t eat meat.
When I made this identity pact, I was limiting my future choices, but saying no to meat was no longer difficult. Rather than being a chore or a burden, it became something I simply did not do, much in the same way observant Muslims do not drink alcohol and devout Jews do not eat pork—they just don’t.
By aligning our behaviors to our identity, we make choices based on who we believe we are.
With that in mind, what identity should we take on to help fight distraction? It should now be clear why this book is titled Indistractable. Welcome to your new moniker! By thinking of yourself as indistractable, you empower yourself through your new identity. You can also use this identity as a rationale to tell others why you do “strange” things like meticulously plan your time, refuse to respond to every notification immediately, or put a sign on your screen when you don’t want to be disturbed. These acts are no more unusual than other expressions of identity, like wearing religious garb or eating a particular diet. It’s time to be indistractable and proud!
Telling others about your new identity is a great way to solidify your pact. Have you noticed how many religions encourage adherents to evangelize their faith? Missionary work is a way to grow the number of adherents, but, psychologically speaking, there’s more to proselytizing than getting nonbelievers to join the fold. According to several recent studies, preaching to others can have a great impact on the motivation and adherence of the teacher. Researchers Lauren Eskreis-Winkler and Ayelet Fishbach have run experiments on diverse groups, from unemployed workers looking for a job to children struggling in school. Their results consistently show that teaching others provides more motivation for the teacher to change their own behavior than if the teacher learned from an expert.
But do we have a right to teach others about something we haven’t quite figured out ourselves? Should we preach when we’re far from perfect? Studies show teaching others can be even more effective at changing our future behavior when we admit our own struggles. As Eskreis-Winkler and Fishbach note in the MIT Sloan Management Review, when people confess past mistakes they are able to acknowledge where they’ve gone wrong without developing a negative self-image. Rather, teaching empowers us to construct a different identity, as shown by the act of helping other people prevent the same mistakes.
Another way to reinforce our identity is through rituals. Let’s look again at religion. Many religious practices aren’t easy, at least not for outsiders. Praying five times per day toward Mecca or reciting prescribed blessings before each meal takes effort. And yet, for strict adherents, these routines are something they just do, without fail and without question. What if we could tap into some of that dedication to accomplish difficult tasks? Imagine having the fortitude to focus on whatever you wanted with the discipline of a true believer.
New research suggests that secular rituals, in the workplace and in everyday life, can have a powerful effect. A study conducted by Harvard Business School professor Francesca Gino and her colleagues explored how rituals affect self-control by studying people trying to lose weight. The first group in their study was asked to be mindful of what they ate for five days. The second group was taught a three-step premeal ritual: first, they had to cut their food; second, arrange the pieces symmetrically on the plate; and third, tap their food three times with their utensils before eating. Silly, yes, but also surprisingly effective. The study participants who followed the pre-eating ritual ate, on average, fewer calories, less fat, and less sugar than those in the “mindful group.”
Professor Gino believes rituals “may seem like a waste of time. Yet, as our research suggests, they are quite powerful.” She continues, “Even when they are not embedded in years of tradition, simple rituals can help us build personal discipline and self-control.”7
Though conventional wisdom says our beliefs shape our behaviors, the opposite is also true.
Evidence of the importance of rituals supports the idea of keeping a regular schedule, as described in part two. The more we stick to our plans, the more we reinforce our identity. We can also incorporate other rituals into our lives to help remind us of our identity. For example, I have a ritual of repeating a series of short mantras every morning. I’ve collected them over the years and say them before I start my work every day. A quick reading of these snippets of indistractable wisdom, such as the William James quote “The art of being wise is the art of knowing what to overlook,” reinforces my identity through ritual.
I also find opportunities to label myself as indistractable. For instance, when I’m working from home, I tell my wife and daughter that I’m indistractable before starting a focused work block. As you learned in chapter eighteen, I use my phone’s Do Not Disturb function to send an auto-reply message stating that I’m indistractable to anyone who might contact me during my focused time. I even printed T-shirts with Indistractable across the chest to reinforce my identity whenever I look in the mirror or someone asks me about my shirt.
By making identity pacts, we are able to build the self-image we want. Whether the behavior is related to what we eat, how we treat others, or how we manage distraction, this technique can help shape our behavior to reflect our values. Though we often assume our identity is fixed, our self-image is, in fact, flexible and is nothing more than a construct in our minds. It’s a habit of thought, and, as we’ve learned, habits can be changed for the better.
Now that you know the four parts of the Indistractable Model, you’re ready to put these strategies to work. Make sure you can draw out the four parts of the model (traction/distraction, internal triggers/external triggers) so you can share the model with others as well as have ready access to it the next time you find yourself struggling with distraction.
Up until now, we’ve focused primarily on what you can do to become indistractable. But we must acknowledge that we work and live with other people. In the next section, we’ll dive into how workplace culture affects distraction. Then, we’ll learn about why children overuse their distractions and what we can all learn from their need for “psychological nutrients.” Finally, we’ll explore how we can be indistractable around friends and loved ones, and help them stay focused as well.
REMEMBER THIS
• Identity greatly influences our behavior. People tend to align their actions with how they see themselves.
• An identity pact is a precommitment to a self-image. You can prevent distraction by acting in line with your identity.
• Become a noun. By assigning yourself a moniker, you increase the likelihood of following through with behaviors consistent with what you call yourself. Call yourself “indistractable.”
• Share with others. Teaching others solidifies your commitment, even if you’re still struggling. A great way to be indistractable is to tell friends about what you learned in this book and the changes you’re making in your life.
• Adopt rituals. Repeating mantras, keeping a timeboxed schedule, or performing other routines reinforces your identity and influences your future actions.
7 While rituals can help people seeking to build self-control, they aren’t for everyone. Ritualistic behaviors around food are not recommended for people struggling with an eating disorder.