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“PULL OVER,” I DEMANDED, looking over at Shade.
“What?” He asked, taking his eyes off the road long enough to give me a curious glance.
“Pull the fucking truck over or I’ll jump out!” My hand gripped the handle in warning.
We had spent the last three days in this God forsaken vehicle. Only stopping long enough to catch a few hours of sleep. If we made any other stops, Shade would only allow us fifteen minutes tops. Thank the good Lord for drive-thrus because there wasn’t a chance in hell he would have stopped long enough for a sitdown meal.
The truck swerved to the side of the road and had barely stopped before I jumped out. My hands massaged my butt cheeks as I tried to work out the stiffness. This was unbearable. I couldn’t take another second in that vehicle. I was at my wit’s end with this trip. It felt like we had driven all over the United States.
I heard Shade’s door slam shut and a moment later he appeared in front of me.
“What’s the problem?”
“The problem is we’ve been driving around aimlessly for what seems like an eternity and my ass can no longer take it,” I ground out. “Honestly, I can’t do this anymore. We have to stop somewhere. At least for a few days so that I can regain the feeling in my butt.”
He stared down at me for a moment and I braced for a verbal lashing. He would no doubt tell me to stop complaining and get my dead ass back into the car.
However, I was unprepared when an amused smile played on his lips.
“There’s a place close by that we can stay at.” That he even knew where we were amazed me.
We had taken so many back roads that I wasn’t sure which state we were in. For all I knew we could be close to the Mexico border. Maybe that’s were we where going. Mexico wouldn't be the worst place to end up.
“Thank you.” I let out a sigh of relief.
“Think you can hang in there for another thirty minutes?” The fact that he even asked was a miracle.
“Yes,” I answered before he could retract his kindness.
He brought a heavy hand down on the hood, rapping it twice.
“Good. Let’s get going.” He rounded the truck and hopped back inside, the truck roaring to life.
I pulled the passenger door open and glared at the seat like it was the root of all my problems, then grudgingly climbed inside. Thirty minutes was nothing compared to the hours we had clocked already.
Thirty minutes was an eternity. I cried real tears when we finally arrived at our destination.
“How many out in the middle of nowhere shacks do you own?” I sniffed, hopping from the truck.
“Are you crying?” He asked coming around the truck to stare down at me.
Quickly, I wiped at my face.
“What? No.” But it was too late. He had seen them.
“What’s the matter?” He actually sounded concerned.
“It’s just... I’m so happy that I’m out of that stupid truck,” I sniffed.
He said nothing, just shook his head and went to grab our bags from the back of the truck. I followed him inside and almost choked when we walked through the door.
“Holy shit!” This place only looked like a shack on the outside, but on the inside it was a beautiful beach bungalow.
The floor plan was open like the other shack but this one was well kept. The bed looked a little bigger and there was a privacy screen hiding the bathroom area. The far wall was mostly windows and a glass door. On the other side of the windows...
“Is that a private beach?” I hurried to the window, afraid if I blinked it would disappear. “Where are we?”
“Gulf shores.” He dropped our bags to the floor and stepped over them, heading toward the bathroom area.
“What made you decide to come here?” I asked, picking my bag off the floor and pulling it open. I was so glad I purchased a bikini when I went shopping in Moab.
“You kept mumbling about the beach in your sleep.”
My mouth dropped open, and I stared at the screen he disappeared behind. I’ll just file that away with all the other things about Shade that made my head spin.
“You’re telling me, you drove us over sixteen hundred miles because I kept mumbling about the beach in my sleep?”
“That’s what I’m saying, darlin’,” he mumbled, coming back around the screen.
I looked away, unable to meet his eyes. There were so many thoughts running through my head but I couldn’t go there now. I needed time to think and get my head on straight. And maybe work up a little courage.
A lot of courage.
“I think I’ll go check out the beach,” I murmured, heading out the door without waiting for him to reply.
The sun was going down, and the air was a little chilly, but the view was lovely. The sun was casting an array of colors across the sky and they way it reflected across the ocean looked like an extension of the sky.
I couldn’t believe Shade brought me here. This place was more than I could’ve hoped for in a pretend vacation.
The light breeze caused a chill to crawl up my skin. I wrapped my hands around myself and rubbed my hands up my arms only to have them covered by a shawl.
I looked up to find Shade standing beside me.
“I can’t believe you have a shack on the ocean,” I smiled. “At least this one doesn’t look like a serial killer hideout.”
Shade snorted, taking a seat on the sand beside me. “The mountains have more security.”
“Sure. No one would hear your victims scream,” I chuckled, nudging him with my shoulder. “The view here is breathtaking.”
“Yes it is,” he agreed.
When I turned to smile at him, I found that he was looking at me. The way he looked at me caused flutters in my lower belly. It’s a feeling that could cost me to lose my focus. There was a bigger picture here, and I needed to keep my eyes on it.
“My mother loved the beach. Before she died, she used to take me every chance she would get. Sometimes, she would wake me up in the middle of the night and we would jet off to California to spend the whole day on the beach. It’s the only time I ever seen her happy.” A frown pulled at my lips as I looked at Shade. “I’m sure you know what happened to her?”
Shade nodded, looking out toward the water. “Suicide. You were eight.”
“Growing up without her, I never could understand how she could just abandon me, how she could take her own life. Now that I’m older and know what horrors my father is capable of, what he had put my mother through, I don’t blame her. If it came down to it, if I was back under my father and forced to marry that horrible man, I wouldn’t hesitate for even a moment.”
Shade had turned to look at me now. He looked at me like he didn’t know what to make of me, like I wasn’t anything like he had expected me to be. There seemed to be a battle going on behind those eyes.
For once, it was as if he were choosing his words carefully.
“It won’t come to that,” he said, looking away.
I wanted his words to comfort me. To make me feel relief for the future, but I felt nothing but dread. Shade couldn’t be sure that I would make it out safely. Unless my father and all his men were dispatched, I would never be safe.
What I would give to have normal people problems.
“Do you ever wish your life was different?” I could see that my question had caught him off guard.
His brows furrowed, and he looked toward the water. I could see that he was mulling the question over.
“No. I don’t think so,” he said, looking back to me.
“Really? You don’t wish anything in your life could be different? Like maybe you could have met someone under different circumstances?” I hadn’t meant to ask that last part.
I worried he might suspect where my mind had gone.
He shrugged. “What’s the use in wishing for things that can’t come true? This is my life. I won’t waste it by regretting every decision I’ve made this far. I’m a hitman, darlin’. That would be a lot of regret.” That was true, I suppose. “And as for meeting people under different circumstances, that goes under not wishing for things that can’t come true.”
“But don’t you want to share your life with someone?” As soon as I asked, I wished I could take it back.
Those were the kind of questions I should steer clear of. Why was I even trying to get to know him? I was nothing more than a pawn in his operation.
At least, that’s what I kept telling myself.
Shade stared at me for a moment and I thought he might not answer me, but as he looked away he spoke.
“The life I lead, the dangers I have to face, that’s not a life I ever intended to share with someone else. It’s a life that was intended to be lived alone. There hasn’t been a day in my life that I ever regretted becoming a hitman. It’s all I’ve known. I don’t know how to live otherwise.”
Most people would have sounded proud or matter of fact, but not Shade. He just sounded resigned. It made me think that maybe this life isn’t all that he thought it was going to be.
Despite his feelings, everything he said made sense. It’s one thing to endanger yourself. It was a whole other thing to endanger the person you loved. But I couldn’t help but wonder what would happen if the right person were to come along. But something told me that it wouldn’t make the slightest difference.
Once a hitman, always a hitman it would appear.
Before I could ask any other invasive questions or say something completely stupid, I cleared my throat hoping to hide some of my unease.
“Right. Well, I don’t know about you but I’m starving. I think I’ll go start dinner.” I rose to my feet and dusted the sand off my bottom before heading toward the beach bungalow.
“Ever...” He called.
“Yeah?” I turned to look back at him.
He stared at me for a long moment before shaking his head. “Nothing.”
I wanted to press him, to make him confess what he really intended to say, but thought better of it. Turning away, I headed toward the bungalow.
* * *
STARING OUT AT THE water, watching as the waves lapped at the beach, I wished I had a float or a surfboard or something. It would be nice to paddle out and enjoy the water. The chill of the morning had long disappeared, and I was itching to get my feet wet.
As soon as I woke up, I changed into my bathing suit and headed for the beach. I was afraid that if I lingered inside, Shade would insist we work on training or something equally unappealing. I wasn’t feeling up to that. I wanted to swim in the ocean and lie around on the beach all day. I fully intended on pretending like I was on vacation. He wasn’t about to ruin that for me.
Impatient to get out there, I rushed toward the water, diving under as soon as it was deep enough. When I felt like my lungs might burst, I surfaced, treading water until my legs grew tired, then moved to float on my back. Lazily, I made my way to shallower water.
When my feet could touch the bottom, I spotted a few seashells. I took a deep breath and dove under. Without goggles I had to feel around blindly until my hand connected with one. I resurfaced to check out my treasure.
I did this over and over until my arms were too full to hold anymore. Walking to the shore, I dumped my haul onto the sand clear of the water.
On my third swim to the shore, I found a bucket in place of where I had been dumping my shells. I looked toward the bungalow, but there wasn’t any sign of Shade. It was a nice gesture. I made a mental note to thank him later. I dropped to the sand, sitting beside my bucket full of shells.
Looking out over the water, a head surfaced where I had been swimming before. The person wasn’t very far out. When they turned, spotting me, they started toward me. It wasn’t until he was almost to me, that I recognized Shade.
“You shaved?” I asked as he walked towards me.
The messy, out of control beard was gone. In its place was a more clean, close shave beard. I wasn’t sure how to process this new look. If anything, it only enhanced his looks. Now I was going to have to work even harder not to stare. Let’s not even discuss how he looked like a freaking men’s swimwear model as he walked out of the water.
The way his swim trunks hung low on his hips...
I looked to my feet, watching as my toes disappeared into the wet sand only to be washed clean as the water splashed over them.
“Yep,” he said, cutting through my thoughts.
I opened my mouth to ask why but decided that it didn’t matter.
“Thank you for the bucket,” I said, nodding to it.
He grunted and dropped to the sand, leaning back on his elbows. Unwillingly, I looked over at him. It was a horrible mistake. First a model and now he looked like he could be the offspring of Poseidon. It wasn’t right for a man to look like a God.
Tearing my eyes away, I stood, making my way back toward the water. Searching for seashells was a lot safer than sitting on the beach with Shade searching for some feelings that I wasn’t trying to feel. The sooner all this was over, the better. The more time I spent with Shade the more messed up my head seemed to be.
As soon as I was waist deep, I dove under, not surfacing until it felt like my lungs would explode. My hands were full of shells and rocks and after a quick inspection I headed toward the shore. This lot would fill my bucket. If I was lucky Shade would have disappeared by now and I can work on my tan.
I was almost to the shore when something clamped around my ankle, dragging me back under.
Dropping the shells, I struggled against whatever had a hold of me. The salt from the water stung my eyes as I looked back to see Shade, grinning at me under the water. I sent a soundless scream at him, bubbles billowing out of my mouth as I kicked my free foot out again. This time I connected with his chest and he released me. I swam to the surface, sucking in lungfuls of air as soon as my head broke the surface.
When Shade’s head surfaced, I splash water in his face.
“Asshole!” I shouted, splashing him again.
He just chuckled, wiping the water from his face. “Awe, come on, darlin’. I’m just trying to have a little fun.”
I narrowed my eyes at him. “Do you even know what fun is?”
Unless you counted training as fun, he was the least fun person I had ever known.
“Of course I do,” he said, rolling his eyes.
“Sure,” I said, skeptical.
“You should’ve seen your face. You looked like a shark had hold of you,” he chuckled.
“Don’t make me drown you,” I warned, turning to head back to shore.
Once I was back on dry land, I walked to the beach towel I had stretched out earlier. Someone had stocked the bungalow with all kinds of beach wear. Towels, sunglasses, sunscreen. Just about everything a person would need to spend the day on the beach could be found in there. Whoever had stocked it knew what they were doing.
Just as I had gotten comfortable on my beach towel, a shadow cast over me, blocking out the sun. I opened my eyes to find Shade, staring down at me.
“Do you mind?” I asked, arching an eyebrow at him. “You’re in my sun.”
His lips twitched as he laid down on the sand beside me.
“How long are we here for?” I asked, closing my eyes.
“Until I deem it safe to return to Colorado.”
“Obviously, but how long do you think that might take?” I wouldn’t mind if it took a week or two.
This place was heaven.
“Could be days or maybe weeks.”
“Why are we even going back to the serial killers shack? Why not plan here and head straight to Vegas?”
It seemed to be the obvious plan of action to me. There wasn’t anything back at the shack that we would need to get the job done in Vegas.
“Leave the planning up to me, darlin’,” he grunted. “We’ll be in Vegas before you know it and by then you’ll be begging me to take you back to the woods.”
“I’m not scared,” I said, defensively, but it was a lie.
Seeing my father again, going up against him and his men had me shaking in my itty bitty bikini, but I wasn’t about to look weak in front of this badass hitman.
“Sure you are,” he said, pushing to his feet, smirking down at me. “I’m not the only thing you talk about in your sleep.” With that he strolled away, leaving me gaping after him.