Twenty-One
After breakfast the next morning, they set off to tour the improvements. The dowager countess did not make an appearance at the breakfast table. Cora was told this was a usual occurrence as the woman preferred a tray in her room. Cora was glad to be spared her frosty conversation for a few hours longer. Her meal passed pleasantly enough until Leo walked into the breakfast room.
He was dressed in riding gear, looking every inch the country gentleman. There was a momentary hitch in his step when he saw her, but he merely offered her a greeting and walked to the sideboard where a selection of food had been laid out for them. The Ice Prince. He didn’t mention the kiss or what they had revealed to each other the night before. Except for the brief hesitation when he saw her, it might not have happened at all.
He picked up a slice of bacon and asked, “Would you like to tour the repairs with me? I’m meeting Fraser now.”
She agreed, and just like that, they set out as if last night had never happened.
The roof repair was in the wing where the ballroom and guest rooms were. It was closed off from the rest of the house, but the smell of fresh wood reached them before she saw the opening in the ceiling and sunlight streaming inside. The ceiling above the ballroom soared over two stories in height with a balcony on one end, which is where she assumed the orchestra sat. It was a lovely room with carvings in the dark wood moldings all around. Men and women in various classical poses looked down on them from their perch at the top of the room, except at the far end where the roof collapse had destroyed them.
As Mr. Fraser and her husband discussed the timeline for finishing the project and the need to reinforce the roof, Cora pretended to study the wallpaper, which was clearly ruined by the rain and weather. In reality, she couldn’t take her eyes off of Leo. She liked that name so much better than Devonworth. His title was cold, and it kept him aloof from her. Leo was warm and intimate. She had spent the better part of the night reliving his lips on hers, and she had determined that keeping their relationship as it had been was no longer possible. She’d take Eliza’s advice and try for more.
She wanted all of him. He wanted that, too. Something was keeping him from her, and she was bound and determined to find out what it was.
After the stop at the ballroom, he took her on a tour of the property. She didn’t know how to ride a horse, so he drove them in a gig along the roads and trails that wove throughout the estate while Mr. Fraser rode along beside them on his mount. She had hoped to be alone with her husband, but the estate manager was an amiable fellow. He was in his sixties and had grown up on the estate, so he was well versed in its history. From an ancient Druid encampment to medieval battles, he seemed to know it all and kept up conversation as they toured.
The drive around the property was beautiful. Half the estate seemed to be moorland and heath while the other was forest dominated by oak. Winter had released its hold on nature, but summer had yet to arrive. The air was cool, but inviting, and while the sky wasn’t a vivid blue, it had lost the drab gray of the past months.
“It’s so different from my life in Manhattan.” She had loved the city with its variety. There were different sorts of people on every street with accents and clothing from all over the world. Turning a corner could bring you to a nook or startling piece of architecture you might have walked by a hundred times and never seen.
But this was good, too. She stared out over a particularly striking bit of scenery where Leo had pulled the buggy to a stop. The land stretched out before them in gentle slopes for miles. A ribbon of water sparkled in the sunlight as it gave them glimpses of itself between the hills. The air was fresh, and one deep breath felt as if it could nourish her for days. “It’s so peaceful and calm. Did you love it here growing up?”
He stared off into that distance with her, not speaking for a while. Finally, he said, “I didn’t appreciate it as a child, but I’m beginning to.” His gaze met hers briefly, and it was filled with meaning before he clucked his tongue and the horse took them onward back toward the house.
She wanted to ask him to elaborate, but Mr. Fraser was there. She wanted to mention the kiss that he pretended never happened, but she couldn’t until they were alone. And it seemed they would never be alone today. They were going to eat with his mother and then leave for his football match. That talk would have to wait until tonight.
The next couple of hours passed with a quick luncheon, and then Cora changed for the match. When she came downstairs, it was to find that her husband had already left and she would be riding to the nearby village with her mother-in-law. It was a silent and tense trip. His mother hardly spoke to her and answered Cora’s falsely enthusiastic questions with as few words as possible. In the end, Cora gave up and watched the sights outside her window.
The village was quiet and peaceful with a main street that consisted of a square and shops. They skirted the edge of that shopping district and pulled up to a field behind the small industrial area of town. It seemed like most of the town had turned out. The stands were already filled with people, and others milled about the edge of the playing field. Both teams were already on the pitch, preparing for the game.
“They’ve set us up over here.” Lady Devonworth directed Cora to follow her to where two padded chairs had been placed on a rug a distance away from the crowd. Apparently, they were to enjoy the game in comfort and without the bother of other people.
Cora followed without complaint, but she searched the field for Leo. She found him almost immediately as he kicked the ball to a teammate far in the distance. He wore a green shirt similar to what he had worn on their first meeting. The breeches he wore came to just below his knees where stockings or high socks stretched over his muscular calves. He would have made a wonderful footman. She laughed to herself as she remembered Eliza had done a lot of reading on England before they came here. One thing she had read mentioned that footmen would sometimes pad their calves to make them appear more muscular and thus capable. Cora still didn’t know if that was true.
His blond hair shone under the tepid sunlight, highlighting the gold streaks. She still ached to run her fingers through it. She pulled up short when she would have run into his mother’s back. She had been too caught up in Leo’s attractive lines to pay attention. It was exactly what had happened to her last time she’d seen him playing football. She tried not to laugh at herself, but it was impossible not to find humorous how attractive she thought her own husband and how there seemed to be nothing she could do about it.
When she glanced back, Leo met her gaze across the field. The corner of his mouth curled upward, and she wondered if he was remembering their first meeting. His mother didn’t seem to notice, and they settled themselves. Cora spotted Lord David and Prince Singh, who had attended their wedding, on the field. They were her husband’s teammates, but she hadn’t registered either of them that first day. Her attention had been reserved solely for her husband. It still was. The match began soon after, and Cora couldn’t take her eyes off him. The sheer athleticism of his movements fascinated her. She finally dragged her gaze away from him to try to make sense of the game. To Cora, it was still a rather rambunctious group of men chasing a ball on the field, so she leaned over, determined to form some sort of positive relationship with her mother-in-law.
“Do you know what is happening? I confess I have no idea.”
The woman glanced at her coolly and then pointed. “Devonworth’s team is in green. They move the ball down the field toward that goal. The other team, in red, tries to get the ball in that side.”
It was a rather simplistic explanation, and Cora had already figured out that much on her own, but she thanked her anyway. As the game progressed, she asked several more questions. The dowager seemed frigid, at first, but as time passed, she seemed to warm up to Cora. She even offered several comments of her own by the end of the game. Leo scored twice, and Cora rose to her feet to clap for him both times. Her mother-in-law stayed seated but smiled more and gave Cora approving looks. It wasn’t a lot, but all in all, Cora found the day successful.
After the game—Leo’s team won—Cora hurried from her seat to her husband on the far side of the field. The team was finishing their celebrations and packing up their things. Leo had poured a cup of water over his hair and was pushing his hair out of his face along with rivulets of water as she approached. Her heart gave a little skip. He looked exactly as he had that night after his bath. She had seen just how muscular he was that night, enough so that watching his athleticism demonstrated during the game today had had her imagining all sorts of naughty things as he moved.
He caught sight of her and smiled as she came to a stop in front of him.
“Congratulations,” she said. “It was a good game.” She wanted to kiss him but wasn’t brave enough, not with everyone around them. Instead, she settled for touching his shoulder.
“They put up a bigger fight than we anticipated.” He leaned a little toward her and his fingertips touched her waist. “It was good to not see you on the pitch this time,” he teased her.
“I was happy to see you stayed within the proper boundaries,” she teased him in return.
He tossed back his head and laughed. She loved how rich and deep his laugh was the rare times he let it loose.
“Lady Devonworth,” Lord David said by way of greeting as he walked up to them. He wore the same tired but exhilarated expression as her husband. He was also attractive, but she only had eyes for her husband.
“Lord David.” She inclined her head to him but glanced back to Leo. “You both played well.”
“Thank you. Married life seems to be treating you both well.” He looked at them appraisingly.
“Well enough,” she replied.
“We are going to the pub to celebrate, but we’ll be home before too late.” At her questioning look, Leo added, “David will be spending the night before taking the train in the morning. Will you wait up for me?”
Of all the things he might have asked, she hadn’t expected that or the way his eyes softened as he looked down at her. Maybe he wanted to talk about their kiss. Or maybe he wanted to give her more of them. Either way, she would not refuse him.
Lady Devonworth was cordial to Cora at dinner that night. She had thawed considerably, even if she wasn’t exactly friendly. She even invited Cora back to her private parlor where she showed her several of the impressive embroidery samples she had been working on. When Cora mentioned that she didn’t know how to embroider, her mother-in-law immediately launched into lessons. The woman didn’t say very much, but she regarded Cora with benign interest and seemed glad to share the pastime that she loved so much.
Afterward, they both retired and Cora spent a little bit of time working on Leo’s speech, trying to incorporate the personal stories they had heard in Clarkston. She still hadn’t been able to get the opening where she wanted it. No matter how hard she tried, it was difficult to concentrate. She would hear a step in the corridor and rush to her door thinking it might be Leo only to find a servant going about their nightly duties. Or she would get stuck on a particular turn of phrase, and that tiny break in focus would send her to the window looking for signs of his return on the drive below.
He finally came home around eleven in the evening. She heard the muffled voice of his valet and forced herself to ignore the excitement in her belly and read the page over again. But her ears were attuned to every noise beyond the closed door between them. Finally, a door clicked shut and the sounds died down. His valet must have left.
The door stayed closed, however, and she began to worry that he might go to bed. What if he didn’t realize that she had stayed up? Nibbling her bottom lip to keep her nerves together, she knocked lightly on the door. She told herself that if he didn’t answer the one knock, she would turn away and go to bed. Another, far wilder part of herself that she must have inherited from her mother demanded that she walk in if he didn’t answer. He owed her some sort of explanation for that kiss. He had enjoyed the kiss. She had enjoyed the—
The door swung open and he stood before her in his robe. It was made out of a thick velvety material that caused his shoulders to look twice as broad. The gaslight behind him framed his hair in some sort of golden halo. He smiled down at her, and she would have sworn he looked at her mouth.
“Hello,” she said, unable to get any other words to form.
“Hello.” There was a tone in his voice that made it huskier than normal. She suspected this meant that he was slightly inebriated. “You waited for me.”
She was reluctant to let him know how she anticipated this, so she indicated the desk. “I worked on your speech.”
His smile brightened, but he didn’t look at the desk. He only had eyes for her. She blushed under his perusal, and everything inside her went soft. When he leaned a shoulder against the doorframe, unwilling or unable to cross the threshold into her room, she put her hand on his chest. His heartbeat was fast but steady under her palm.
“Do you . . .” How was she supposed to talk to him about this when he looked at her as if he could eat her up? “We should talk about last night . . . our kiss.”
He took her face in his hands, surprising her. Then he kissed her forehead. His lips were soft and warm, and now that she knew how he tasted, she wanted them again. “We should.”
She found herself leaning up, her fingers gripping the lapel of his robe. He was so strong and warm beneath her hand. “I liked it.”
A breath of air escaped him. “Cora,” he whispered, and his mouth moved down to her temple and then her cheek. She turned toward him, her mouth seeking his. Their breaths mingled for a moment, whisky mixed with wine, but he pulled back to meet her gaze. “I liked it, too, but I don’t think we should do it again.”
Her heart sank. “What?”
“I like this . . . your friendship . . . We can’t kiss again.” He pressed his lips to her forehead once more and then closed the door in her face.
She had waited for him for this? Oh no, she would not take this proclamation from him without fighting back.
Opening the door, she crossed into his domain. His room was similar in color to hers, but there were heavier pieces of furniture, all carved from a darker colored wood.
“Leo,” she called him. His bed was huge and it loomed behind him as he turned around to face her, eyes wide and lips parted in shock.
His surprise quickly melted into pleasure. “Leo,” he repeated, turning the word over on his tongue. “Say it again.”
The way he said that, soft and with a quiet authority that she found immanently attractive, had her knees going weak. She had to look away from him to compose her thoughts. “Leo.” She said it to steady herself, not to please him. “I think we need to set some things straight. You kissed me, and I thought it meant that things were . . . well, changing between us. I thought it meant you wanted to kiss me more—”
Her voice broke off as he approached her so fast that she was certain he wouldn’t stop in time. Indeed, he didn’t. He took her head in his hands and walked her backward until she was against the wall and he was caging her in with his body. His eyes looked as if he wanted to devour her. The possibility made her shiver in delight.
And then he did. His lips parted over hers and his fingers clenched in her hair, holding her steady for him. She made a sound she didn’t recognize in the back of her throat and held tight to him as he ravished her mouth. His tongue pressed inside her. The slick glide of it against hers was both silky and rough and made goose bumps break on her skin. She could have gone on kissing him forever, but he abruptly broke off.
“Cora, you have no idea what you do to me. I want to kiss you.” He gritted his teeth as if he were in some sort of war with himself.
She wasn’t letting him end what he had started so easily. “Then do it.” Taking hold of his head, she pulled his mouth back to hers and kissed him again.
His hands went around her and held her closer for a moment, but then he pushed her back enough to break the kiss. His eyes were closed tight in what appeared to be agony, before he opened them and said, “I cannot. I cannot do these things with you and keep myself apart from you.”
Her mind was swimming. Physical intimacy was never part of the deal, but she had never anticipated feeling like this. Like it would be the greatest tragedy of her life if they didn’t explore whatever it was that was happening between them.
She grabbed his robe and moved closer to him. A gasp escaped her as she felt the long and rigid evidence of how he did want her pressed against her stomach. And she wanted him. Couldn’t it be that simple? “Why do you have to keep away from me?”
“Because it’s too much. I can’t.”
She wanted to argue, but she was too confused and overwhelmed by the strength of the emotion he was keeping inside. He was trembling with it. “Leo, please.”
An unexpected pain flashed across his face. “And then what?” he asked.
The sight of his discomfort brought her up short. She didn’t want to hurt him, and she couldn’t understand how she had. “Couldn’t we have a night together without dissecting what it might mean?”
He shook his head and kissed the corner of her mouth. “Go . . . please.”
Dismissed, rejected, and flailing in confusion, she hurried back to her room.