Webster’s Dictionary defines “hobby” as an activity or interest pursued for pleasure or relaxation and not as a main occupation. Hobbies require dedication and commitment, and should be enjoyable. They can be a diversion from real life, they can be something totally new and different, or they can be an interest you’ve always had, but now can pursue in a leisurely fashion.
After just a few weeks of cyber-dating, I was hooked. For the rest of the summer, it was my new hobby. I’d wake up mornings and immediately open my email. I checked my email before I left for work. I checked again at break time, lunch, afternoon break time, after work, at supper, and at least three or four more times before I shut down my computer and went to bed.
I began to wonder if I should retire from work so this could be my main occupation. But then it wouldn’t be a hobby, would it? My initial hesitation in dating by using the Internet had fast disappeared, as my ego continued to be built up every day that I checked my email. I felt like I had the first time I visited a candy store and had to pick out only one piece. There were too many choices. If I was lucky enough to get a formerly annoying electronic “wink” from someone, I felt like a diva!
For a girl who’d had old-fashioned standards as a teen, I quickly ditched the one about waiting for the male to make the first move. I became totally at ease firing off the first email to a potential date. This may have been my new hobby, but the competitive side in me took over, and thanks to my “Roving Reporter” email crush, I learned to strike first before any other women could nab “the good ones.”
Speaking of competition, I began to wonder what other women in my general vicinity were on the hunt. I knew a few single older women in my town, and I began to suspect they might be on the same mission I was. I also knew what happened when a neighbor and a very wealthy businessman had lost their wives. Within a mere six months of becoming single, they both became ensnared by man-hungry younger women. Honestly, some women have no compunction. Girls, give us older ladies a chance!
I could at least find out more about what was in other women’s profiles that enticed gentlemen. I was still a bit unsure whether I’d written the best profile possible in order to find a decent date. Since there were no manuals for us “singlets,” what were other ladies putting on their profiles?
It didn’t take a lot of detective work to find out. I simply pulled up my profile and changed it from “Woman Seeking Man” to “Man Seeking Woman.” Just for a few minutes.
Bingo! There they were—and there was an acquaintance of mine who had moved out of state! I quickly read the autobiographies of my rivals, studied their photos, and decided we were all different enough that there was no competition among us.
But my friend—how could she still be single? She was cute as a bug, young-looking, and her write-up was impressive. I hit “Like” so that she would know how impressed I was with her profile and made a mental note to get her phone number and give her a call. It would be fun to share stories about dating—and she was now miles away, so she wouldn’t be looking at any guys in my territory who wouldn’t move, even for love!
I didn’t realize at the time that she could open her “like” from this new “man” and see my profile. When I learned about this months later, I could only hope she knew me better than to think I was either spying on her or interested in her as a date! Geesh!
Then came a lull . . . probably because it was summer, holiday time, and people were extra busy or gone on vacation. There were no new matches for several days. This meant I could take a really hard look at the guys I’d quickly passed over for one reason or another. Some of them were horrible spellers, just too desperate-sounding, or had profiles with lots of red flags. Was I really so hobby-driven that I would look at a guy who had been divorced four times and hated kids? Well, I looked, so I guess that answer was yes. Time to give my hobby a rest.