Chapter 19

 

As she reached the stable, Jake led his unsaddled horse back out and over to the corral gate. He tied the dun's lead rope to the railing, then reached for the curry comb sticking handle down in his back pocket. For once Sunny didn't trip and fall flat on her face when she let her eyes linger on that well-formed backside in those tight denims. Instead she studied his entire body, burning the memory of each hardened plane into her mind.

But, she reminded herself, she hadn't gazed into those whiskey depths yet today. She'd have to be wary of losing her coordination when she did — as well as forgetting the purpose for seeking him out.

"Afternoon, Sunny," Jake said.

"How did you know it was me?" she asked as she stepped up beside the horse.

"I knew," he said quietly.

He smoothed the curry comb across the dun's back, and the horse's muscles quivered in pleasure at the caresses. It tossed its head, blowing through its nostrils, and Sunny reached out to pet its face. "He's a beautiful animal."

"Yeah, he's a good horse. One of the best Charlie's ever bred."

He brushed the back flank, then across the ribs and worked on the front withers. Sweat darkened the withers, drying somewhat in the heat as Jake stroked that area. He ducked under the horse's neck, starting on the other side.

"Did you need something, Sunny?" he asked, looking across the stallion's neck.

"Oh." She smoothed a hand down the dun-colored neck, and the coarse black mane hairs brushed the backs of her hand. She caught a hank of mane between her fingers, comparing its texture to some other black hair. "I...John Dougherty asked me to tell you, if I saw you, that you needn't hurry back to the office."

"That's nice of John, but I've got some paperwork to do. Soon as I get Dusty groomed, I'll have to get on it."

"I heard about the meeting tonight. I suppose you're glad the town has decided to hire a sheriff. You'll be able to le...leave now."

"Yeah," Jake said abruptly. He picked up Dusty's foreleg and examined the hoof, then moved to the rear hoof. As he made his way around the horse, Sunny stepped back to give him room to inspect the last hoof, on the foreleg she stood beside. Dropping the horse's leg back to the ground, he opened the gate and led the stallion into the corral, unsnapping the lead rope and setting him free.

After he closed the gate, he tipped his forefinger against his hat brim, nodding at Sunny. "Nice talking to you, Sunny. Guess I'll see you at the meeting tonight."

He started to move away, and Sunny grabbed his arm. "Jake. Jake, wait. I want to tell you something."

He froze beneath her touch, his upper arm bunching and knotting. She scanned his face, which he kept averted to stare down the street rather that at her, wishing desperately she could see into those whiskey eyes. A dark beard shadow had formed over his tightly-clenched, granite jaw, and the muscles on this throat worked as he swallowed.

Slowly, he reached around with his other hand and removed her fingers from his arm before he spoke. "What is it?"

"I'd like you to look at me while I say this," she said barely above a whisper.

He jammed his fingers into his back pockets and turned to her. She tilted her head back, trying to read his expression, but his eyes appeared to be focused just over her head. With a small sigh of vexation, she reached up and took his hat off, bringing a slight chuckle from him as he finally looked at her.

"You seem to have had a problem with me wearing a hat ever since I first met you," he said.

"It shadows your eyes," Sunny replied. Then, with a courageous effort, she continued, "And I really love your eyes."

His face turned serious and she felt a cautious glimmer of hope.

"I love your eyes, too, honey," he said quietly. "And your pretty hair." He took his hands from his pocket and touched one of her curls. "It's so soft and beautiful." He traced a finger around her ear, then across her cheek. "I don't know which feels nicer, your hair or your skin." The fingertip smoothed very gently across her lips, then back again, and a tiny whimper escaped Sunny's throat.

"I was a damned fool to miss my last chance to really kiss you the other day," Jake growled.

She dropped his hat into the dirt and tentatively lifted her arms, laying her palms on his chest. "It doesn't have to be your last chance. You haven't left yet."

His whiskey eyes darkened, and he moved his hands to her waist, his touch burning through the thin material of her dress and bringing a gasp of pleasure from her. He bent his head, his breath feathering over her face as he warned, "It damned sure won't be a friendly kiss. It'll be a kiss a man gives a woman he wants to love him."

She tangled her fingers in his shirt. "I don't want another damned friendly kiss from you, Jake!"

He groaned and pulled her to him.

"Sunny!" a woman's voice screamed, and Jake released her. She whirled, her unsteadiness causing her to wobble, and Jake stabilized her by grasping her arms.

Cassie stood on the front porch, screaming once again, "Sunny! Come quick!"

Her aunt wheeled and raced back into the house. Sunny lifted her skirts and ran, with Jake beside her. He reached the house a few steps in front of her, holding the door open as she tore inside.

"Back here!" Cassie called, and they ran to Teddy's bedroom. When the entered the room, Cassie was sitting on the edge of the bed, and she turned a tear-streaked face toward them. Teddy lay on the bed beside Cassie, her face dirty and left arm on a pillow. Anxiety stabbed through Sunny, and she gratefully leaned against Jake's side when he slipped an arm around her.

"I sent Duckie for the doctor," Cassie said in a choked voice. "Oh, it's all my fault. I should have been watching her closer!"

Teddy reached out with her uninjured hand and patted Cassie on the shoulder. "It weren't your fault, Miss Cassie. Rowdy was jealous 'cause I was riding the pony and he barked at it. And it don't hurt that bad. It's not that far to the ground from the back of the pony. Not like it would be if I fell from all the way up there on Mr. Duckie's big horse."

"Oh, Teddy, darling," Cassie said, brushing the matted hair from Teddy's face. "You're such a brave little girl."

"I just don't want you to take my pony away," Teddy whispered. "You won't tell Mr. Duckie to do that, will you?"

Cassie strangled on a tear-choked laugh and shook her head. "No. If you still want to ride the pony, it will be there. My father always said you had to get right back on the horse that threw you, or you'd never ride again. But let's wait to see what the doctor says about your arm, before we decide how soon you can ride again."

Sunny stared back and forth between her aunt and the child on the bed, unable to decide if she should rush to Teddy's side and check her arm or leave the two of them alone. Cassie glanced up at her, wiping the back of her hand across her cheek.

"Duckie brought the pony in with him today, and she was riding it in the back yard. I was...in the kitchen. With Duckie. I didn't see what happened, but Teddy said Rowdy barked and the pony shied, making her lose her seat. She must not have even cried out, because I only realized something was wrong when Rowdy ran into the kitchen and grabbed my skirt. He tugged me toward the back door, and I saw Teddy lying in the dirt. Oh, I was so scared!"

Sunny finally crossed the room, sitting on the other side of the bed and gently running her fingers over Teddy's arm. Teddy flinched a little, but she gave Sunny a tremulous smile.

"It doesn't appear broken," Sunny said. "It's probably just twisted from her fall."

"Here comes Doc and Charlie," Jake said from the doorway.

He moved aside and Doc Butler came in, carrying his black bag. Charlie followed him, giving Teddy a concerned look, then moving over to Cassie and putting his arm around her shoulders.

"Why don't you all wait for me in another room?" Doc ordered. "I've seen enough broken bones over the years that I can tell just by lookin' at that arm that it's probably just sprained. But I'll want to wrap it in case there is a small break there. Looks to me like, though, you women are in worse shape than the young'un, from worryin' about her."

Cassie reluctantly rose, then turned a stern look on Doc Butler. "You look her over real well. If she needs anything at all, you let me know. We'll take very good care of her."

"Get out of here, Cassie," Doc said with a chuckle. "I'll give you a full report soon as I get a chance to examine her."

Sunny patted Teddy's shoulder, then stood and followed Cassie and Charlie from the room. As she passed, Jake placed a comforting hand on her waist and she gave him a grateful look while the four of them walked into the kitchen.

"Sit," Cassie told them. "I'll get us some lemonade. Ginny brought a pitcher over when she saw Teddy home."

They made innocuous conversation while they waited for Doc Butler's report on Teddy's injuries. At one point, Rowdy whined in the kitchen doorway, and Cassie looked at him, pursing her lips.

"Oh, go on," she said, waving at the dog. "Go on in and be with Teddy." Rowdy bounded through the kitchen, tail wagging. In the hallway he turned the right direction for Teddy's room. "Huh," Cassie grumped. "Looks to me like he's been in the house before. He knows where to go."

Sunny chuckled, and said, "Teddy bathes him every few days, Aunt. He won't dirty your house."

"Don't hurt our house none to look lived in," Cassie said. "That's what houses are for, after all. Living in."

"Thank you, Aunt," Sunny said softly.

Doc Butler came into the kitchen, his black bag hanging in one hand. "Just what I thought, a sprain," he told them. "I wrapped it, and you can bring her over to the office tomorrow for me to look at it again, but it'll be fine in a day or two."

Cassie rose to her feet. "I'll go check on her."

"She's tuckered out and she fell asleep, Cassie," Doc said. "Let her rest a while, won't you?"

"I'll just look in on her," Cassie said in a firm voice. She sniffed as she passed him, her stride resolute.

Shaking his head, Doc Butler grinned after her. "Sure is a different Cassie these days." Turning, he headed for the front door.

"We forgot to pay him," Sunny said, starting to rise.

"I already told him to bill me when he's done takin' care of her, Sunny," Charlie informed her. "Finish your lemonade, before it gets warm."

With a hand on her waist, Jake tugged her into her chair, propping his arm on her chair back when she sat down. He shoved her glass of lemonade a little closer, indicating for her to obey Charlie. A somewhat uneasy silence settled over the three of them, and she drank a swallow of lemonade, proud of herself when she didn't spill a drop as Jake's finger caressed the top of her shoulder.

She raised her eyes to his, daring to hope they could finish their interrupted conversation if Charlie would only find something else to do. The tender look in Jake's eyes deepened, and he edged his hand across her shoulder to her neck, entangling his fingers in the curls tumbling free from pins, which had loosened when she ran toward the house.

I don't want you to leave, she thought, hoping he could read the words in her eyes. I love you.

His fingers tensed in her hair. Charlie cleared his throat, and Jake shot him a malicious glare. "Don't you have something you need to be doing, Charlie?" he asked.

"Yeah, I do," Charlie replied in a quiet voice. "But I'm waiting for Cassie to get back in here first."

A foreboding feeling swept over Sunny, and she stiffened when Cassie spoke from the doorway. "I'm here now, Duckie." She hesitantly walked over and took the chair beside him, bowing her head for a moment before she looked up at Sunny. Charlie laid one of his hands over Cassie's, which were clasped on the tabletop.

"We've decided you have a right to know what you've been asking about, Sunny," Cassie said. "If you want to tell everyone else, I'll understand. It will be your decision."

"Should I leave?" Jake asked.

"No! Please stay." Sunny stared frantically at him, and Jake tightened his hand on her neck, then moved his hold to her shoulder again.

"Easy, darling," he murmured. "I'll stay."

Forcing her gaze back to Cassie, Sunny sat rigid, even though her aunt's face showed more kindness toward her than she had seen since her arrival. "Are you going to finally tell me about what happened to make you hate my mother?" she asked.

Cassie's eyes filled with tears. "I wish I could tell you that you are wrong — that I didn't hate her," she said in a choked voice. "I did for a long while, though. But Charlie's made me realize we've all paid dearly for that hatred. I can't change it now, but I can maybe try to explain it to you."

Sunny slid her gaze to Charlie. "Are you my father?"

"No." He shook his head in accompaniment to the single word, and Sunny released her breath, though she continued to steel herself for whatever else was coming.

"Your father was Ian Lassiter," Charlie went on. "Since you already know Mary, you know your father died several years ago."

Sunny felt Jake take her hand beneath the table, and she clung to it. "What? How? Suzie and Chester? They're my half-sister and brother!"

Cassie squared her shoulders, saying to Charlie, "I'll tell her about it. You've done enough over the years."

"All right, honey," Charlie agreed.

Cassie closed her eyes briefly, then began speaking. "You asked about Suzie and Chester. Yes, they're your half-brother and -sister. Ian and Mary were wed nine years ago, soon after Mary's parents died in a tornado. Despite Ian's contention that he wanted a wife back when he first arrived in Liberty Flats nineteen years ago, he ended up waiting all that time before he married anyone. I've always felt that the fathers of daughters of marriageable age probably had reservations about Ian. Perhaps people were unsure about just what part Ian played in the situation back then. Mary was only nineteen herself, however, and she didn't have any other relatives after her parents died. But I'm getting ahead of my story."

After taking a deep breath, she continued, "I've been the one trying to make you leave town, Sunny. And I'm so, so sorry. I was afraid you'd do exactly what you did — start asking questions and bring the secrets I'd kept hidden all these years to light."

She glanced at Jake. "I'm ready to take my punishment, Jake. I sawed the ladder step partly in two, hoping Sunny would realize it was too dangerous in that old building to keep on working. I didn't think far enough ahead to realize someone might actually get hurt badly. It was a step near the bottom, after all, and I figured someone would only fall a little ways. When I heard about Fred, I set the fire, trying to cover up what I'd done."

"It could have been Sunny on that step," Jake growled.

"I know that now, but I was so confused at the time! I wasn't thinking straight. I just wanted her to leave. I didn't even think when I set the fire about it maybe spreading to the rest of the town. Oh, God!" She dropped her head to her chest, shaking her head.

"I paid Fred's doctor bills," Charlie said. "And Cassie's going to tell them what she did. We're not going to have any more lies."

"What about the note I found in the house?" Sunny asked.

"I wrote it," Cassie admitted. "I was trying to think of a less dangerous way to get you to leave town. I thought you'd be so embarrassed and all the women would laugh at you if you carried a pail of cow manure into the social."

"Teddy was almost bitten by a snake that day."

Cassie gasped. "You never told me!"

"But why, Aunt?" Sunny exhorted. "Why did you want me to leave? What didn't you want me to find out?"

Cassie bit her lips, then turned an imploring look on Charlie. He patted her hand, but when he started to speak, she shook her head. "No. No, I have to be the one to tell her."

She turned back to Sunny. "I know what the rumors are around town about what happened here nineteen years ago. Part of the story is true, of course. Ian came to town a month or so before our parents died, and he bought a ranch from a man who's only son had gone off already to join the war and been killed in one of the first battles. With no one to leave it to, the owner had lost his desire to build the spread up.

"Ian was a handsome man, without doubt. I first saw him at church, but Samantha had always been so much prettier than me that I figured he'd be more interested in her. At first, he seemed to be, but Sammy was in no way ready to settle down to one man. She was having too much fun being the belle of the county, and she had a different beau each week."

"You had your share, too, Cassie," Charlie put in. "Heck, I barely managed to get two dances with you anytime there was a barnraising or a birthday party for some gal around here."

"Thank you, Duckie," Cassie said with a tiny smile. She drew in a breath, and Sunny forced herself to remain silent as her aunt continued, "I was so shocked the first time Ian asked me to have a picnic with him after church that I almost couldn't answer him. But I managed to say yes, and from then on, I seemed to be the only one he courted."

"Seemed to be?" Sunny asked with a frown.

"It turned out I was wrong," Cassie replied, covering her face for a second with her free hand, then lifting her head. "Our parents died, and Ian wanted me to marry him right away. He said one reason he wasn't interested in Sammy was because he wanted a wife right then, someone to help him build up the ranch. I couldn't. For one thing, there was Sammy. She was younger than me, and I needed to make sure she was taken care of. Ian said she could live at the ranch, too, but I just didn't feel it was right not to honor the mourning period. I told him we could become engaged, then marry at the end of a year."

She shook her head. "He was furious. He said there was no way he would wait for me for a whole year, and I accused him of not loving me. I told him that if he loved me, he'd wait for me. He...he laughed at me, and said that love didn't have a damned thing to do with marriage. That all a man needed was a woman to give him children, and...and lay with him when he needed it. That if I didn't want to be that woman, he'd find someone else."

A tear crawled down her cheek, and Cassie viciously swiped it away. "I still had my pride left back then. I told him to leave, and I never wanted to see him again. He said 'oh, you'll see me again. No woman makes a fool out of me and gets away with it'."

"Cassie, darling," Charlie said. "You don't have to go back over all this."

"Yes. Yes, I do," she insisted. "You need to know it all, too, Duckie, before you decide whether or not you still want to marry me. You need to know just how foolish I was."

Charlie sighed and scooted his chair closer to Cassie. Wrapping his arm around her, he nodded for her to continue.

"I was so upset," Cassie said, "I completely closed myself off from Sammy. I forgot she was hurting, too, over us losing our parents. I thought she was spending her days with friends, but I found out later she'd been seeing Ian. I found out when she came to me, crying and saying that she was carrying Ian's child and he had refused to marry her.

"She said at first Ian told her that he was broken hearted over my refusing to marry him, and he just wanted someone to talk to. After seeing him a few times, he started telling her that he loved her. Looking back on it, I'm sure Sammy needed someone to turn to, since I was so wrapped up in my own hurt and our parents were dead."

"She could have come to me," Charlie said. "Or my ma. Ma always thought the world of both of you." He glanced at Sunny. "I want you to remember, we're talking about young people here, about the same age as you. Young people who can make mistakes, 'cause they ain't learned the hard lessons life teaches them later on down the road."

"I'm not going to judge anyone," Sunny said in a miserable voice.

"Don't," Charlie ordered. "And Cassie's about done in. I'll tell you the rest of it, 'cause I'm the one who handled that."

He went on to tell her that her mother confronted Ian again with him, telling the man that she would agree to leave Liberty Flats and pass herself off as a widow, but only if Lassiter agreed to support her and the baby. Otherwise, she'd bear the shame of telling everyone in town who the father of her baby was, then leave anyway and raise the child somewhere its parentage wouldn't be known.

One thought kept running through Sunny's mind. I'm a bastard. My mother was never married.

Charlie told how Ian had agreed to Samantha's terms, because he had sunk a lot of money already into the ranch and he didn't want his reputation in town ruined. Samantha decided to go to St. Louis, where she'd attended school and had a few friends. At first, she insisted on leaving alone, but the day after she left, Charlie followed her. He cared for her as much as he would have a sister, and he wanted to make sure she was settled in St. Louis. Afterwards, he returned to Liberty Flats, but his own feelings about Cassie were in a turmoil. She, in turn, refused to see him.

"I thought she was mad at me for going after Sammy," he said.

"I was," Cassie admitted. "But I was also too ashamed. I...I'd slept with him once, too. I wasn't fit for you to love."

Charlie tipped her chin up. "I ain't no virgin, neither, Cassie. Does that make me unfit for you? And I do love you. I've always loved you."

Sobbing, Cassie flung herself into Charlie's arms, and his face broke out in a huge smile. Sunny knew she should leave them alone, but she had to ask one more question.

"Mary's husband...." She couldn't bring herself to call the man her father. "He's been dead for several years. But there were still regular deposits in my mother's account. Her lawyer told me."

Charlie shrugged, but Cassie pushed away and looked up at him. "You sent the money, didn't you, Charlie? You took care of Sammy and Sunny."

"Well," he drawled. "That there silver mine up in Denver just kept payin' off. And seemed like the more money I put into those danged horses, the more I made off them. I figure we've probably waited too long to have us any young'uns of our own, Cassie, honey, but I'm right proud I'll soon have me a niece and a little great niece."

He turned his beaming face on Sunny. "Right proud," he repeated. "Hope you can accept that."

Sunny blinked away tears and nodded, then shoved her chair back, pulling her hand free from Jake's. "I...need to be alone for a while," she said.

"Sunny." Jake shoved his chair back and reached for her, but she backed away.

"Please. I really need to be alone." She rushed past him and down the hallway to her bedroom. Closing the door behind her, she leaned on it, fighting new tears.

A bastard. I'm a bastard. From the sound of it, her father had been a different kind of bastard. He'd slept with two sisters, using them against each other, then refusing to marry the one having his child — probably as revenge against Cassie.

She wondered if Mary had any idea that her daughter and son had a half-sister, quickly realizing she couldn't have. Only Cassie and Charlie knew the truth, and now she and Jake.

Jake. Oh, God, she couldn't ever tell him she loved him now. He'd never want anything to do with a woman who was born a bastard. Why had she ever come to Liberty Flats? Why had she ever wanted to know the truth of her parentage?

She thought of her mother — the same age as she was now — alone and with child. Alone because she had become with child by the man her sister loved and had lost the love of her sister as a result. Three lives had been shattered by the man who had fathered her.

And her mother had never married again. Well, not again, but ever married at all. She'd allowed men to escort her to various functions. She'd danced with men at balls and never lacked for partners. But she'd never let any man get closer than a dance to her.

Sunny remembered romanticizing that sometimes. Thinking her mother too much in love with her husband's memory to ever love another man. Thinking the reason her mother would never talk about her father was because she couldn't bear the pain of speaking of him.

How wrong she had been. There was pain for her mother in remembering the man who fathered her child, but not the romantic type pain about which Sunny had idealized. She wondered if the pain her mother felt could have been half as bad as what she was feeling now, with her heart ripping in two, knowing she would never have that one final chance to tell Jake she loved him. She would live with the shame of being a bastard for the rest of her life, never having the courage to take a chance on some man marrying her out of pity.

~~

"Damn it, boy, go after her," Charlie said in exasperation.

"She said she wanted some time alone," Jake replied in a low voice.

"Yeah, that's what Cassie told me nineteen years ago," Charlie said with a sneer. "That she wanted to be alone. She was lying her fool head off, too, just like that Sunny gal is now. You love her, don't you?"

Jake met his eyes steadily. "With everything in me."

Cassie reached across the table and laid her fingers on his arm. "Then go to her, Jake. Tell her. Don't throw away the chance you can have together."

"She...I don't know how she feels," Jake said.

"Hell, ask her!" Charlie ordered. "Maybe you don't know it, but everybody else in town can see that little gal's in love with you. Get in there and find it out for yourself."

Jake shoved his chair back and rose. He walked out of the kitchen, and down the hallway, his bootheels thudding softly on the carpeted floor. At the bedroom door, he lifted his hand to knock, thought better of it and reached for the doorknob. The door opened easily, and he saw Sunny lying on her bed, eyes open as she stared at the ceiling.

"Go away," she said in a miserable voice. "Please. I don't want to talk to anyone."

"I'm not going away, Sunny," he said as he crossed the room and sat beside her. "And you do need to talk. You've had a hell of a shock just now."

"Yeah," she scoffed. "It's not every day a person finds out they've been born a...."

Jake clapped a hand over her mouth, stilling her words. "Damn it, listen to me." She jerked his hand free, and he let her, and she flounced onto her side with her back to him.

"Go away," she repeated.

"I've already told you I won't go away. Sunny, please look at me."

She shook her head, resisting when he took her arm and tried to turn her toward him. She scooted further away, and his hand fell to the bed.

"I'd really like you to be looking at me when I say this, Sunny," he said quietly. "But if you won't, I'm still going to say it." He swallowed, then took a breath, wishing he'd asked Charlie to roll him a smoke so he'd have something to do with his hands. But, hell, he didn't even smoke. He gripped his knees, biting back a mocking grin when he realized his fingers had been trembling.

"This afternoon," he told Sunny's back, "I wasn't just exercising Dusty. I was looking over some land Charlie had told me was for sale over on the far side of his ranch. Between him and Mary Lassiter's. It's got water to it — the same water that runs on through to Charlie's place. Comes out of those hills north of us."

He waited for a minute, hoping Sunny would at least comment and let him know she had an idea of what he was trying to say. If anything, he noticed her back get more rigid.

"There's a real pretty spot there," he finally said. "Be a good spot for a house. Man don't need as much range if he raises horses instead of cattle. I don't guess I ever told you, but I've got some invested in Charlie's ranch, too. Reckon I've got a good start of a herd with my share."

Sunny spoke at last. "I wish you luck, Jake. I hope you'll be happy there."

He heaved a huge sigh. "I won't be happy at all unless you'll share it with me, Sunny. I'm asking you to marry me. Be my wife."

She didn't even hesitate. "No."

His heart dropped down to his stomach. "You won't even think it over?" he asked.

"No."

He frowned at his knees, his fingers clenching until they ached. "I love you, Sunny," he said, his voice gruff with suppressed emotion.

She gasped, and from the corner of his eye he saw her pull a pillow to her chest, then bend her golden head to it. "Go away," she said in a muffled voice. "Please go away."

Ever so slowly, he forced his fingers loose. Ever so slowly, he forced himself to stand. Ever so slowly, he forced himself to walk away, when he really wanted to fling himself on the bed and gather her close. Beg her to reconsider.

He closed the door quietly behind him, jamming his fingers in his back pockets and walking down the hallway. At the kitchen door, he paused when Cassie and Charlie looked up at him hopefully.

"I won't be needing the land, Charlie," he said. Head bowed, he left the house.

 

 

***