My own flirting story is the inspiration for this book and the reason I met the love of my life. It happened to me, and it can so easily happen to you. And it’s proof positive that flirting can spark love.
I have always been an outgoing person, but during my twenties, I made “putting myself out there” my full-time job. Determined to find a husband, I did everything in my power to make it happen: blind dates, singles events, bar outings, personal ad placements, cruises, parties—you name it. I flirted anywhere and everywhere and made each event an exciting journey. Several adventures led to dates, others to boyfriends, some to great one-time meetings, and many to no-thank-yous. A few even led to broken hearts. Still, I never regretted trying.
As a full-time flirt, I rarely waited for someone to approach me. It just seemed such a waste of precious time. Going to a singles bar or event alone motivated me to flirt. If I didn’t, the evening would be painfully boring, frustrating, and disappointing. (I know many of you are thinking, “No way, not me! Going somewhere alone is too scary and overwhelming.” Rest assured, in the pages to come, I will help you through this process. Eventually, you may even look forward to solo-sailing! Trust me.)
Whether alone or with friends, I flirted no matter where I went: dining out, attending a concert, waiting in line, getting gas, talking to the letter carrier, even sitting in class—location never mattered. I was always “on the flirt.” To me, flirting made every situation more enjoyable and fun, made me feel good and others feel great, and increased the chances of my dream coming true.
Like anyone, I felt the occasional frustration or discouragement looking for love. But I never gave up (though I did let go of the myth that love just happens). I knew that anything important in life takes work. I must admit, I was envious of those who said that love just found them—lucky them! But I persevered.
One day, after a lengthy meeting, I went to lunch with a group of colleagues. There were eight of us, seven women and one man. Jim worked at a sister office so I had met him for the first time earlier that day. He was nice and good-looking, so I decided to sit next to him at lunch to try out some of the flirting moves I had picked up and perfected from my “flirting fieldwork.” I was complimentary, funny, leaned in when he talked, smiled, maintained warm eye contact, listened attentively, and showed interest. Over lunch, we had a great time getting to know each other, but we left it at that.
Fast forward three months. Jim came to our office for another meeting. After it ended, I offered him a ride to the airport. He said yes but on the condition that I went to dinner with him beforehand. I agreed (of course!).
As we left for the restaurant, we passed the office of a woman who knew I was not married. She jokingly yelled out, “Fran, is that your new husband?” Jim put his arm on my shoulder and replied, “I should be so lucky!” His words made me smile from ear to ear, and I quickly whispered back, “No, I should be so lucky.”
Three years later, we were married.
My story is not unique. During the past twenty years, I have taught how-to-flirt workshops to thousands of single, divorced, and widowed men and women and have watched many of them find love. It is truly an amazing thing. This book has grown out of their personal struggles with how and where to meet new people, as well as their successes. (If my success rate is any indication, you may well find the love of your life by following my lessons!)
As I have taught them, I will teach you. I will show you how to master the art of flirting and reading body language—and I promise you’ll have fun doing it! But just as I am committed to giving you a step-by-step guide that will better enable you to find love and excitement, you will have to be ready, willing, and able to flirt like a pro—or at least try! If you do, you’ll experience limitless rewards.
Flirting works! Now let’s get started.
Forever your flirt,