For your last and final move, let’s take some of the pressure off of you and show you how to sit back, relax, and let your props work for you. Consider it my gift to you!
A prop is an accessory that makes a personal statement. It gets others’ attention and invites flirting prospects to talk to you. That’s why you should never leave home without one. These props are the most natural conversation pieces you’ll ever find.
Props work so well because they give others the chance to talk to you about something tangible, rather than simply pulling a topic out of thin air. That’s right, props make it easier for other people to make the first move on you; all you have to do is respond and flirt back with interest and energy. I told you it was easy!
Although I love talking to strangers, I love it even more when someone approaches me first. It’s great for my ego, very flattering, and nice to just get noticed. Props tremendously increase your chances of getting noticed. They turn you into an instant people-magnet.
My top-ten, cream-of-the-crop props are as follows:
1. Jewelry with a twist
2. Personalized clothing
3. Your scent
4. Manicured nails
5. Shopping bags, totes, and umbrellas
6. Reading material
7. Friendly dogs
8. Kids
9. Cameras
10. Your ring tone
A PROP IS A FLIRTING MAGNET
Unique, unusual, different, or even classic jewelry will encourage others to comment. If it makes you stand out, it is the perfect prop. Likewise, if you have a favorite jewelry piece or one you have received compliments on in the past, incorporate it into your prop pile.
Your jewelry “prop” could be old, new, trendy, timeless, homemade, crafty, expensive, a super bargain, or very delicate. It could be a bracelet made out of paper clips from your six-year-old daughter, an antique necklace or a neon pink one, an old watch passed down from your great-grandfather, or a sparkling ring you designed yourself. Basically, any jewelry that complements or enhances your outfit can be a conversation piece.
In my opinion, a watch is the greatest jewelry prop of all—for men and women alike. A watch is the most noticed piece of jewelry because asking the time is a natural way to start a conversation. Once you ask for the time, compliment the watch and continue from there.
Here are a few other examples of jewelry that will stimulate curiosity and small talk. Adapt any of these suggestions to fit your own personal jewelry style. Just remember—dare to be different. It will get you noticed.
• Large gold hoop earrings with a star charm on one earring (flirters will notice the single charm)
• A ring with a dangling charm of your initial, with the letter as an icebreaker
• A pin that showcases your profession or passion (e.g., silver scissors for a hairstylist)
• A necklace with a charm that showcases something you love (e.g., a pair of flip flops to symbolize that you love the summer or the beach)
• Multiple toe rings
• A big and bold watch
• Antique cuff links
• A bracelet made out of candy wrappers, especially if you love candy
• A diving watch
• A trendy piece of jewelry that other trendsetters will notice
Have you ever started a conversation with someone wearing a t-shirt or hat spelling out a place you’ve visited or a school you attended? That’s because the clothing instantaneously gives you common ground, no opening line needed.
Wearing clothing that signifies something about you (e.g., a shirt, baseball cap, jacket, or shorts with your alma mater or your town name) gives your flirting prospect a green light to start talking to you. If your flirting wardrobe lacks these “personalized” items, add at least two or three pieces. (Remember, however, that first and foremost your clothing needs to fit the situation—wearing a college sweatshirt to a black-tie affair is never a good idea.)
The best flirting clothing includes items with any of the following:
• A place or sightseeing attraction (e.g., the Eiffel Tower or Niagara Falls) that you have visited
• A museum you have explored
• An organization to which you belong (e.g., a volunteer firefighter association or an alumni group)
• An activity club in which you participate (e.g., a triathlon or photography club)
• A political candidate or association you support
• A cause meaningful to you (e.g., saving the environment or fighting breast cancer)
• A hobby or passion (e.g., fishing, dancing, or kite-flying)
• A school you attend or attended
This clothing gives others a little insight into you and your interests. People who share these interests or affiliations will naturally feel more comfortable around you because you already have a bond. And don’t forget to wear these items when traveling or on vacation—it’s even more fun to get noticed when you are away from home.
The cologne or perfume you wear will draw attention to you. Your scent is your signature because it’s based on personal preference. If no one compliments your scent, consider trying another one. But please, don’t bathe in it to see whether you get a different reaction.
MAN PROPS: TIES AND SUSPENDERS
Whether you are a gal or guy, people notice your hands all the time—that’s why having well manicured nails will take you far. It’s a sign that you value your appearance and take pride in yourself.
Manicure doesn’t always equal painted nails. For guys, this means keeping your nails clean and trimmed. For ladies, the same thing goes, but you may also consider a French manicure, sheer polish, seasonal color, nail jewelry, or a subtle design. A professional manicure may be one of your best flirting investments.
You probably need to carry a few of these items anyway, so why not make them unique? Try a shopping bag from a specialty shop, a tote from a conference you attended, or a colorful umbrella (i.e., one that is not black).
Someone is much more likely to strike up a conversation if your tote conveys the name of something they relate to or can identify with.
Ever been on a subway or train reading and had someone comment on your literary selection? It happens all the time, right? That’s why reading material makes the perfect prop—it shows others two of your interests: reading and the subject about which you’re reading. Plus, it invites recommendations.
Choose a book, magazine, or newspaper that interests you. It could be your text book, this book, a rare magazine, a journal to which you subscribe, a foreign language newspaper, essays by your favorite author, or a current bestseller—the more out of the ordinary, controversial, or trendy, the better. You never know; the next time you carry your favorite book may be the best time of your life.
THE GIFT WRAP MATTERS
If you have a pet—or don’t mind walking your friend’s—this one is a winner. What it is about dogs that compels us to say hello to them? Who knows, but let’s go with it!
A pooch is a great flirting accessory because people who stop to admire or pet your dog already show you that you have something in common—your love for canines. As s/he talks to Fido, chime in with questions about whether s/he also owns a pet or his/her favorite breed.
If you don’t have or want a pet, offer your dog-sitting or dog-walking services to your friends. You’ll not only be helpful, but you may even get a date out of it.
Children under the age of five are natural flirts—everyone wants to get a smile out of them! With kids around, there is so much to talk about, especially if the other person has a child as well. After chatting about your kids, it’s easy to move the conversation to you, your relationship status, your interests, and so on.
If you don’t have small children and you are a capable, responsible babysitter, consider taking a niece or nephew, godchild, or friend’s child out for an afternoon at the mall, park, or playground. You’ll have fun no matter what.
Carrying a camera, especially and social events and attractions where snapping shots is acceptable, certainly puts the attention on you. People will wonder whether you are a tourist, a photographer, a reporter covering a news story, or whether you know about something going on that they don’t and should.
Get the conversation started by asking someone to take your photo (especially if you really are a tourist) or by apologizing for the bright flash and explaining why you’re taking the shots.
Pick an unforgettable ring tone, such as your favorite song or a funny sound (like an old-fashioned phone ringing, a bird chirping, or a person whistling). It will grab people’s attention and cause them to ask you about it.
Make sure the sound is not too loud or jarring and that it goes off before the two of you start chatting—you don’t want your sassy ring to interrupt the conversation flow; you want it to be the reason for a great conversation. Use this prop in a venue like a bar or other loud place where a phone sounding isn’t considered rude.
As you’ve learned, props are tools of your trade. They increase your flirting possibilities and look great on too.
Props can go both ways. Instead of waiting for others to comment about your props, comment about theirs! It’s an easy, fun way to kick-start a conversation. And who doesn’t love talking about him/herself?
Think of another person’s prop as your cue card—it tells you what to say. Although you don’t have a script, consider props as clues to solving a puzzle. The more questions you ask, the more information you get, and the better the flirting becomes. And as you learn more about the other person, you will find more topics in common and the conversation will soar. It’s simple as pie.
Here are some examples of great ways to use props as conversation starters:
• “Your necklace is beautiful. Is that vintage?”
• “I just wanted to tell you your cuff links looks so posh. You hardly ever see guys sporting them anymore, which is a shame.”
• “Did you go to UCLA? I have almost the exact same t-shirt.”
• “Are you wearing Armani? You smell so nice.”
• “I just love the design you have on your nails. How did they create that?”
• “Where did you find that great tote? Is it really made from 100 percent recycled material?”
• “How do find that book so far? I had a hard time getting into it at first but ended up loving it.”
• “Do you subscribe to that magazine? They ran a really touching article about [insert topic] a few months back. Maybe you read it?”
• “Your dog is beautiful. What breed is she?”
• “Your camera looks like it has all the bells and whistles. I’m in the market for one myself; are you happy with that brand?”
• “Ha! Is your ring tone really Bruce Springsteen? That is such a great tune.”
