THE BEST PLACE TO FLIRT IS ANYWHERE AND EVERYWHERE! But you want specifics, right? Well that’s why I’m here!
This chapter will take you through my top thirty-five flirting spots, which are based on all of the great stories I have been told by thousands of flirting workshop participants, as well as my very own flirting expeditions. Not a day goes by that I haven’t flirted several times and in several locations, and I encourage you to take my advice and do the same! You have everything to gain.
Using all you’ve learned, you should be able to vary your flirting spots with ease and try different strategies in different situations.
Note that these thirty-five places are in no particular ranked order because “top” spots vary immensely from person to person and are largely influenced by your lifestyle, habits, and where you live. A place of worship or a commuter train, for example, may not make your “top ten,” but it might for someone else, so just remember to zero in on those places that fit best with your lifestyle.
The bookstore combines the best of the flirting elements: endless props to discuss, many people by themselves, often a café to grab a cup of coffee, and places to sit.
The next time you’re at a bookstore, walk around. When you spot a flirting prospect, start looking at similar books and let your inquiring mind take over. Ask for help selecting a book or offer your opinion about a topic or author.
Ask directions for a store that you “can’t find” (I won’t tell). Ladies, go to the men’s department of a store and seek advice on “a tie for your cousin.” Men, go to the ladies department and ask for help selecting a “gift for your aunt’s birthday.” Grab a bite at the food court and start chatting about the crowds and the food.
The park is full of people out having a good time and getting some fresh air—and you can’t ask for a more positive vibe than that! If you see someone who looks friendly and approachable, don’t be afraid to start a conversation. You never know where it could lead!
From after-work happy hours to thirty-something Thursdays to ladies’ night Wednesdays, there is always something going on at a bar, pub, or club, which makes these places great for practicing your skills. Find a spot at the bar, order a drink, and talk to people around you. Work the bar by strolling around as if going somewhere and stopping when you have reached your “destination.”
Where there is water, there is flirting. Head for the beach, lake, or town pool with a few friends to scope out the possibilities. Wear sunscreen with a delicious smell, and don’t forget your props (e.g., magazines or a book, water toys, or even a beach towel from your university or a previous travel destination). Spend some time at the concession stand too—it’s always a great place to meet someone.
The gym or park you work out in is the perfect location to flex your flirting muscles. Why you ask? Because even if you see someone to whom you want to talk but don’t get the opportunity, chances are you will see him/her again.
When you do, say, “Hi, I noticed you last week but didn’t have an opportunity to introduce myself. I’m Tracy,” or something to that effect. Ask for help with a particular machine, talk about your workout routine, or compliment the other person on his/her fitness ability or dedication. We all know a compliment can take you far!
The great thing about a party is the collective upbeat mood. The best party has many people you don’t know—because that equals many more flirting moments. Don’t be shy, act as outgoing as the host, and make others feel welcome. Your good vibes will draw others to you.
FLIRTING TIP: EARN SOME MILEAGE
Food—we all need it and we all love it. What I love most about the supermarket is the many flirting opportunities. In the salad dressing aisle, ask for a suggestion; in the produce section, discuss how to pick a ripe fruit. If you’re a tall individual, help someone get an item down from the top shelf. Follow the shopping carts full of prepared foods, single-serving items, or ice cream pints—those are good indicators that your interest sometimes eats solo.
Your online words equal flirtatious body language, a warm smile, an inviting personality, and a gentle touch. But because you don’t have the visual clues, it will take some creativity and spontaneity to make your flirting come alive on the computer screen. (Some may even like the absence of initial face-to-face contact because it makes flirting easier and because s/he can add and delete until the perfect flirtatious email comes out.)
Your online flirting goal is to make a connection, show interest, and have fun, all with a bit of mystery. Here are few tips:
• Be specific. Comment about something in his/her profile that impressed you, made you smile, is a shared interest, or is something about which you want to know more.
• Use humor. Let your wit show. If s/he says s/he runs four miles a day, say something like, “If I ran one mile, you’d have to carry me for the next three.”
• Use compliments. Don’t go overboard, but a sincere, unexpected compliment will work wonders.
• Refrain from going on and on. A short email will go a long way. Write enough to show who you are and your desires, and then ask a few questions about him/her. Remember, you aren’t writing your autobiography or conducting an interview for a magazine story.
• Spell check, please. A typo here and there is no big deal, but an email riddled with spelling errors and typos is a big turn-off. It says that you did not take the time nor do you have the desire to make a good impression.
• Use punctuation carefully. It can vary the meaning of what you are saying. The following three sentences, for instance, imply three totally different meanings: “Shopping with you sounds fun?” “Shopping with you sounds fun!” and “Shopping with you sounds fun…”
• Close with intrigue. Tell your interest how happy you are to have met him/her and that you look forward to your next chat, phone call, or meeting. Avoid anything that may come across as creepy such as “I’ll be waiting here until you come back” or “I won’t be able to think of anything else until we talk again.” You may mean that in a sweet way, but it sounds off-putting.
It could be in your freshman English class, your graduate course in architecture, or a wine-tasting, kickboxing, defensive driving, or sightseeing-in-London-on-a-shoe-string-budget class. No matter what, with the playing field leveled, this is a perfect opportunity to flirt! You are all there for the same reason.
Talk with a flirting interest before, during (quietly, of course), or after class. Then suggest going for a drink, coffee, or a bite to eat to discuss what you have just learned!
We spend endless hours waiting in lines—at the bank, motor vehicle office, movies, return counters, post office, amusement parks, and so on. If you are anything like me, you probably want to multitask to make the most of the boring situation. This is where flirting comes in. You have people all around you, you have the time, and you have something in common about which to complain (one of the only times I encourage complaining)! Don’t stand in silence. Start flirting—s/he will appreciate your multitasking sort of mind.
Jury duty can be deadly or divine—it’s your choice. Take advantage of the “captive” audience. Find a jury buddy with whom to eat lunch. You never know where it may lead.
First do a subtle check to see what’s in his/her laundry basket. Depending on what you see, you will know how to proceed. If you determine the laundry contains only his/her clothing, feel free to offer your folding assistance, stain-removal tips, fabric softener, or some flirtatious conversation.
When you see someone who looks your type, make eye contact and smile. If you get a return smile, wait for his/her turn to order and say, “It’s on me.” If s/he resists or says, “How nice of you, are you sure?” you can reply, “If you really want to repay me, how about we have our coffee together?”
These are perfect places to hand out your business cards and make both professional and personal connections. When and if the opportunity arises (and only if appropriate), subtly let some of your business contacts know that you are also in the market for a date (an after-hours cocktail party or get-together would work best).
Talking about your kids with other parents is a great way to break the ice. It is certainly a common denominator—but check for a wedding ring before you make any real moves.
Go to a self-service gas station and ask for help pumping your gas, strike up a conversation with the attendant, or ask for directions even if you don’t need them.
Love is in the air at weddings. During the cocktail hour or reception, work the room and introduce yourself to as many people as you can. At your table, make sure you introduce yourself to everyone. If you feel like dancing and don’t have a partner, ask someone!
Instead of reading yesterday’s newspaper or an outdated magazine, start talking to someone about the doctor, dentist, or physical therapist who you are waiting to see. Your flirting will take off in no time.
Museums offer so much—culture, art, history, and so many potential flirting interests. Pay as much attention to the priceless paintings as you do the priceless company. Ask a flirting interest about the exhibit or remark about the uniqueness of one of the sculptures. While you’re complimenting the artifacts, compliment your flirting prospect as well.
Feeling a bit shy about talking to the man or woman who always sits in the first seat? Plan it out. Today, smile as you pass by; tomorrow, say hi; and the next day, start a conversation. You have the entire train ride to plan your next flirtatious move.
Turn a boring four-hour airport delay or a short plane ride into a thrilling flirting adventure. Your shared destination already gives you something in common.
Flirting where you feel comfortable makes flirting fun! Churches and temples also frequently offer great singles events.
Men flock to stores like these. If you need the latest electronic gadget or want to meet men, go where they go.
Shared passion about a cause draws people to each other, and helping others can lead to getting something for yourself as well.
Whether you are watching an event, participating in one, or learning how to play a game, sports-minded people gravitate toward each other. Use it to your advantage.
Don’t wait for someone to flirt with you. Take charge of your social life and make it happen. You have made the effort to attend an event like this, now cash in on the love that could be waiting for you.
Fast food places attract people dining alone. If you sit down next to a solo diner and feel like flirting, go for it! At a busy restaurant with a long wait time, forget about your hunger pains by flirting.
Although a difficult life event brings you to a support group, flirting can uplift your spirits. Take it slow and concentrate on making the other person feel good—you’ll both be glad you did.
Dog lovers seek out dog parks where their canine companions can have fun. This puts their owners in a similar frame of mind. Grab your dog (or your best friend’s dog) and go for some exercise—just don’t forget to exercise your flirting skills as well!
Even if you feel hesitant to attend, go! No one is the same person s/he was five, ten, or twenty years ago, and you never know with whom you might bond or reconnect. Plus, it’s always great to find out what happened to your secret crush or old flame, isn’t it?
As you stroll and browse, don’t forget to check out your flirting prospects along the way. They could be your most valuable find of the day.
Because you only have several minutes to spend with your speed-dating partner, make him/her feel special in your presence. Before the bell rings, make it clear that you would love to get together again (only if you honestly do, of course). With all the tips and tricks you now have up your sleeve, the few minutes you have together should be plenty of time to spark a connection.
Sightseeing may be the highlight of your vacation, but flirting will add to your memories—and may even last a lifetime! According to ShermansTravel.com, the top ten spots for singles include Amsterdam, “at sea” (i.e., a cruise), Buenos Aires, Juneau (Alaska), Las Vegas, Miami, New York, Rome, Tokyo, and Washington, D.C. Plan accordingly!
The flirting field is always ready. It is indoors, outdoors, across town, or halfway around the world. Make time every day to get onto the field and play. No matter how far-fetched it sounds, don’t wait for the “perfect time” or a special occasion. Flirts on the prowl make flirting a way of life. That means you. No matter where you go, never miss a flirting moment!
