Chapter 20

Fishing has always made me happy. Learning how to fish was a gift from my dad and granddaddy. For them, fishing was a means to put meat on the table for their families when they were younger. Later on in their lives, it became a way to have fun and be outdoors in the presence of nature.

Often, I go fishing and don’t catch a single fish. But other times, I catch a bunch of fish, only to practice catch-and-release and throw them back in the water. And sometimes, I will go out and catch some bluegill, crappie, or “bream”—as we like to call them in Alabama—and bring them home to fry up for dinner. Crappie and bream are the most scrumptious.

I am passing this gift to my children. I don’t know how long they will enjoy it, but at least, I’ll have introduced it to them. A father passing the love of fishing on to their children was how my friendship with John developed into a brotherhood.

For years, I held onto Daddy’s tiny twelve-foot boat for sentimental reasons. The classic aerodynamic engine cowling design of the 1956 Evinrude Fleetwin motor mesmerized me. It was like the cars of the fifties moving into the space age. It had a rounded front that rolled into the rear white-painted side wings. Blue paint mixed with white and black markings and red side reflectors made it look like the face and head of a human imaged robot. To me, it was a symbol of happier times. In elementary school, I drew pictures of the Evinrude to personalize the manila envelope that held my report card.

The sound of the engine mixed with the scent of oil and gasoline soothed me. This boat and motor linked me and Daddy as it was the engine that propelled our fishing adventures. After Daddy died, I held onto the boat and motor. Problem was, in my early twenties, I weighed more than I did as a lanky teenager.

At that point, I had graduated from college and was working my first job and living on my own in an apartment. It was May, and I had decided to take Daddy’s boat and motor for a day of fishing. I kept the boat stored at my mother’s house, since I didn’t have a place to keep it at my apartment. I went to Mother’s house and hooked the trailer to my truck. The trailer lights weren’t working. I fixed them and headed to the lake. My larger, heftier frame weighed the boat down, in addition to the outboard motor and a trolling motor battery on a wide-open throttle, and the boat was plowing through the water.

“I need more horsepower to push this boat around,” I muttered in frustration. I continued to fish but quickly grew exasperated with trying to get around the boat’s cramped space. Finally, I called it quits and headed home.

On the way home, I realized it was time for me to let go of the boat and Evinrude. I had outgrown them. Daddy wasn’t in these things. Machines need to be used in order to remain operational. It wasn’t doing any good sitting around the garage or the yard gathering dust and rain.

I had matured and reached a healthy point in my grieving over Daddy’s death. I was ready to let go of the things that connected us and hold onto the memories we had made. When I got to Mother’s house, she came out to greet me.

I looked at her longingly. “Mother, I think I’ll sell the boat,” I said. “My day was frustrating; and I’m ready to let go of the boat, motor, and trailer.”

Mother tilted her head, perplexed. “I wasn’t expecting this.”

I told her about the day and what I had experienced. I placed my hand on the Evinrude and gripped the throttle handle.

“She’s been a happy, little outboard,” I said. “But it’s time for someone else to make fresh memories with it.”

“As much as I would like to free up space in my garage,” said Mother, “I want you to be okay with this decision.” She looked directly in my eyes and placed her hand on my shoulder. “We’ve held on to it because I know how much it means to you. I’m proud of you, Son; you’ve grown up.”

I smiled, reached out, and hugged her as tears of appreciation rolled down my cheek. “Thank you, but I’m ready. Thank you for loving me.” I paused in our embrace and then said, “I wonder who the next owner of this fishing rig will be?”