Cooper
With Eli in my life, it’s like having the brother I always dreamed of. We sleep in my full-size bed together, and it’s not awkward. Once three nights passed and we hadn’t grabbed each other and gotten busy, the pressure I felt for us to be “lovers” disappeared. Friendship offers freedom. It allows a safe distance between us so we can appreciate each other better. And Eli and I are on the same page—we want to be friends more than lovers. I can tell by the way he looks at me, with trust and without stress.
Maybe sometimes I still want to kiss him, but it’s an urge I control.
The more I think about it, the more I’m convinced that this is the reason Cady and I aren’t friends anymore. We were too gutless to accept that we had feelings for each other. And when she got the picture that I wanted her for a friend rather than a girlfriend, she decided it would hurt less if she left. But I don’t know any of this for sure. I never asked her how she felt.
We should have talked about it, but instead we pretended that the only important thing was a meaningless bucket list. I could have told her I wanted something else with her, but not something less. Now it’s too late.
I focus all of my friendship energy on Eli now. I managed to switch my shifts to days, so I get up at six with Eli and drive him to his landscaping job in Ellis by seven, grab coffee and get to my job at eight thirty, and I’m off in time to pick him up at five. Eli isn’t afraid of hard work, which I also respect. He landscapes full time for Baron Brothers, and over the weekends he helps deliver furniture for The Sugar Street Home Store.
“Hey, dude. They kept you late tonight,” I say when Eli comes out of the Baron Brothers office.
“Had to stick around until the bitter end if I wanted to get my paycheck.” He waves a white envelope, hops into the car, and tosses his dusty cooler in the back seat. “Sorry I made you wait.”
“Not a problem, dude. And tonight’s a library night, right?” Eli has lived with me for almost two weeks, and we haven’t yet studied for his GED. It’s important, though, and I’m not going to let it slide, so tonight’s the night.
Instead of eagerness, a strange expression crosses Eli’s face. He seems a little worried, but more depressed. “I guess.” He rubs his face with dirty hands. “I kinda thought Cady was gonna study with us, too.”
“I can’t do much about that—haven’t heard from her in weeks.” I refuse to dwell on this topic because it hurts. “Let’s put our checks in the bank and go home for showers and dinner before we head out to the library. Mom’s making shepherd’s pie—Dad’s recipe.”
This news makes Eli smile.
* * *
Cadence
Cece blew me off again. When I got to her house and knocked at the front door, her mother answered wearing a guilty expression. “Oh, dear, I’m so sorry, but you just missed Cece. She has a date tonight with Darrell Walker. He was a starter on the Wellington High School football team last year, you know.” Nice, but Cece’s date’s elite athletic status doesn’t make being blown off even an ounce more fun.
“Thanks, ma’am.” I’m tempted to ask Mrs. Tucker to give Cece a message for me and then flip the bird at her, but Mrs. Tucker doesn’t deserve that treatment. And to be honest, I don’t much care that I’ve been dumped again. I don’t like Cece; she’s so self-obsessed it’s practically intolerable. What I do like is to drink until I can’t think, and it’s easy to do at Cece’s house.
I consider asking if I can come in and help myself to their well-stocked liquor cabinet. When I drink I forget that Cooper’s gone, and my new best friend couldn’t care less about me if she tried, and I used Eli as if he were toilet paper, and my brother is one hundred percent right about me heading down the wrong path. But instead of begging for booze, I shrug like I don’t care and trot down the steps as if being dumped again is no big deal. Then I drive straight to Macey’s Liquor Store in Wellington, which is without doubt a stupid move.
“Will you buy me a bottle, sir? I’ve got a twenty, and you can keep the change.” I stand outside and ask no less than ten customers—some of whom were probably on the PTA with my mother—until finally a young woman with a little boy either takes pity on me or needs some extra cash. I end up with a very cheap bottle of vodka.
Whatever. Whatever. Whatever. Whatever.
I say this one simple word to myself over and over as I drive home. And when I get there, I stuff the bottle into my backpack and head on foot to the only destination I can think of where I’ll be able to drink as much of this bottle as I can get down, completely undisturbed. Whatever.
Nobody would ever suspect I’d booze it up there.
I laugh out loud because I came up with the perfect escape. As I slowly get bombed, I’ll be able to do a little reading about pyramids. It will remind me of a better day.
Cooper
The library is practically empty, because who on earth goes to the library on a Friday night in late July? Not a single soul our age, from what I can see. But I’m cool with it this way.
Before we start GED prep, Eli wants to show me some of his favorite books about pyramids. It’s embarrassing, but I don’t have a clue how to find a book at a library anymore. I vaguely remember something about the Dewey decimal system from grade school, but I haven’t seen the inside of the Wellington Public Library since I was ten. If I want a book, I go onto Amazon.com and order it like the rest of the world does—well, the rest of the world except for the six or so old people scattered around on stiff wooden chairs and cozy corner loveseats in the stuffy library tonight. Eli and I increase the total number of quirky Friday night library-dwellers to eight.
“I’m gonna check and see if my favorite book is here.” He seems to know exactly where it’s shelved.
“You’ve been to this library before?” I ask.
“Yup. I been to about every library near every fairground in New England, and this one’s not too far from where we set up in Ellis,” Eli replies as he studies the shelf. “I love this certain book that takes you on a walk through the pyramids of the world. I don’t see it, though.” He sounds disappointed, but grabs a few other books. “These are okay, but the best one is missing.”
I follow him as he leads me to the back corner of the library. He knows this place inside and out.
“A super soft leather couch is hidden back here, and almost nobody ever sits on it. It’s real comfortable, Cooper.”
When we arrive at the couch, however, somebody is already there.
“Cady…” I don’t remember her ever coming to the library before. Neither of us did; we did research on our laptop computers in my bedroom or at her dining room table. When Cady turns around, her eyes roll back. She quickly refocuses.
Eli walks around the couch so he stands in front of her. “You’re reading my favorite book,” he says and smiles.
A book about pyramids is open on Cady’s lap. “Issa great book.” Her voice is too loud, and her grin is wider than I’ve ever seen it. Something is definitely wrong.
I jump over the back of the couch and plop beside her.
“Careful, Murphy, ya don’t wanna s-s-spill my drinkie now, do ya?”
An open bottle of vodka pokes out of her backpack. Almost half of it is gone. I check around the couch for the cap and ask, “Where did you get this?” I find the cover on the floor and screw it onto the bottle.
“I gots friends in l-low p-places,” she stutters.
I never knew I could be thrilled to see somebody and, at the same time, so pissed off, worried, and shocked. For a minute, all I can do is sit and stare at her.
But Eli seems to know just what to do. He kneels in front of Cady and closes the book gently. “Cooper, tonight may not be the right night to study for my GED.”
“Good call.” I stand, sling Cady’s backpack over my shoulder, and help her to her feet. “You’re coming with us.” And suddenly I’m acting on autopilot. First, I push aside the intense relief at seeing Cady when we haven’t had contact in weeks. If I want to help her, I need to put my emotions on hold.
Cady stands and staggers to the other side of the leather couch. “Gotta pee.” She laughs too loud, grabs Eli’s face between her fingers and thumb, and turns it toward her. “You get my meaning? I gotta whiz.” She finds this unspeakably funny and breaks into a fit of giggles.
“I know where the closest bathroom is,” Eli replies. He puts his arm under one of Cady’s shoulders, I put mine around her waist on the other side, and we help her down an aisle that’s way too narrow for three people.
Miraculously, we don’t knock over a bookshelf and manage to get her to the bathroom. When Cady leaves us to go inside the ladies’ room, I ask Eli, “How are we going to get her out of the library without the librarians noticing? Some of them are friends of her mother.” I can’t let her parents find out about this, although she really needs to be caught by someone.
“I also know a back way out of here.”
“Of course, you do,” I mumble, unsurprised.
A few minutes later we go into the bathroom to get Cady, as she doesn’t come out on her own. We find her curled into a tight ball on the floor beside the wastebasket. She gazes at her fingernails, which are painted for the first time since I’ve known her. She flashes them in my face when I squat beside her. “Spent a little girly time with Cece and Trish and Mara. They always wanna do shit like paint their nails. You likey?”
I don’t like dark purple nails on her because it isn’t Cady, so I don’t answer.
“You likey?” She asks again and louder, and then she asks Eli, “You like my Metallic Plum fingernails, don’t you?”
“Be quiet, Cady!” I hiss before we take her to Eli’s secret exit.
Once we’re outside, I look around the parking lot for Cady’s mother’s Volvo wagon.
“I walked here,” she says, reading my mind. “Got my booze and drove home and then snuck out and walked here.” She giggles as if she just farted in church. “Onward, Cady—to the library to get bombed! That’s what I said to myself.”
“Good choice in not driving,” I reply. I don’t want to consider Cady behind the wheel in her current condition.
Eli and I help Cady to my car. He climbs into the back seat with her. “Maybe we should get her a cup of coffee,” he suggests, sizing up her condition.
“First we need to figure out what to tell Mrs. LaBrie.” After years of dealing with Cady’s overprotective mother, I’ve grown adept in placating the woman. Still on autopilot, I pull my phone out of my pocket, lean against the driver’s side door, and dial. “Hi, Mrs. LaBrie. Yeah, it’s Cooper… Oh, I’ve been working way too many hours, so I haven’t had any free time to drop by… Bradley’s home? Uh, yeah, Cady mentioned that… Well, sure, I’ll stop by and see him next week. Anyway, I just wanted to let you know I’m gonna pick up Cady at the library tonight. She said she wants to talk.”
In the backseat, Cady is either asleep or unconscious against Eli’s shoulder.
“No… I don’t think anything’s wrong. Maybe she’s bummed out about us going to different colleges soon. And I wanted to call you because Cady forgot her phone, and she’s in the bathroom. And we’re gonna rush off to a movie, so we don’t miss the previews.” I lie easily to Mrs. LaBrie because, over the past four years, every time Cady and I wanted to do something her mother wouldn’t approve of, even if it was just something stupid and safe like going to a late night fondue festival at a local restaurant, we had to come up with stories so she’d let Cady go.
The Midnight Belgian Chocolate Fondue Festival—last December’s holiday party for the staff of Mad Eats—was epic! Arrival time was ten p.m., which is Cady’s usual curfew. All of the guests had to bring unusual food items that would have their flavor “enhanced by a swim in a Belgian chocolate fountain,” which is what it said on Cady’s fancy paper invitation. And Dad gave us his secret recipe for gingerbread shortbread, which was the chocolate-dipped hit of the party. Cady was proud of this, in addition to being happily infused with high quality chocolate. She looked so damn adorable with a messy chocolate moustache after she wrestled with a tall stalk of Savory Choc-Broc, chocolate-coated oven-roasted broccoli.
Cady has always been game for any kind of fun that’s rated G. Too bad we had to tell her mother that she had to work the event, so attendance was mandatory. But we never got into trouble, and that’s how we gradually earned Mrs. LaBrie’s trust.
“I’ll get her home early tomorrow, then. And say hi to Bradley for me.”
I end the call, slip inside the car, and glance into the back seat to confirm that Cady has passed out. She’s sprawled, semi-upright, on top of Eli.
“Now to smuggle her into my house,” I say.
Eli nods and eases Cady’s head to his lap. “We can make her coffee.”
“Or let her sleep it off.”
Mom is conveniently out of the house when we get home, so Eli and I carry Cady down the hall to my room. We place her on her belly in the middle of my bed.
“Now what?” I ask.
Eli knows what to do in situations where I’m clueless. We tag-team well. “I’d say we let her sleep. And when she wakes up we get her to drink lots of water. The coffee can wait.”
Cady doesn’t wake until the middle of the night.
“Oh, my God!” she shouts and bolts upright. Eli springs from the chair he fell asleep on, and I sit up beside her on the bed. “Mom’s going to think I died! Oh, God!” Then she grabs her head and says it again, this time in a lower tone. “Oh, God…”
Eli takes a bottle of water from the desk and opens it. “Drink,” he tells her firmly.
“Are you gonna hurl?” I ask. It’s an indelicate, but important, question.
She sucks down half the bottle and shakes her head. “I don’t think so… maybe…” She burps. “I don’t know. What time is it? My mother’s going to have kittens—”
“No worries, Cades. I called your mom earlier. Everything’s cool. I told her I was gonna pick you up at the library and take you to a movie, and that you planned to stay here tonight.”
Eli adds, “Because you wanted to talk.” It’s obvious what he wants to do.
Cady looks at Eli. “What are you doing here?”
“Right now, I’m opening a bottle of Advil so you can take a couple and not have a worse headache next time you wake up.” He seems to think that Cady needs more sleep before we try to talk. I trust him on this.
“No, I mean, what are you doing here, with Cooper?”
I answer this one. “We bumped into each other at the home store one night when I was at work. Eli’s been staying here ever since.”
“You’re boyfriends now?” Strangely, it’s not an accusation. It’s just a question.
Eli and I shake our heads. “It’s not like that,” we say in unison.
“What do you mean?” Cady rubs her temples and groans. Then she takes a better look at Eli. “Your earrings—”
“They’re gone.” He doesn’t explain. “Now go back to sleep.”
She nods once and flops back on the bed. “Thanks, you guys, for, you know.”
Yeah, we know.
“When we wake up, I also want to…” She fades away.
When she wakes up, she’s going to want to talk. I want to talk. And Eli has a stake in this, as well.