T he bus stopped and started, letting people on and off, slowly making its way out of O’Connell Street.

‘Jesus Christ almighty, that’s a terrible dirty aul night! Yeh’d be blown clean offa yer feet, if yeh hadn’t a pick on yeh!’ I heard an aul one roar, huffing and puffing, talking to everyone and no one as she hauled herself along the bus, holding onto the back of the seats with one hand, and shaking her wet umbrella with the other. Sending sparks of rainwater flying in all directions. I moved away from the window, shuffling meself fast down the seat, not wanting to make any room for her. Then I lifted me head again, looking up to see a big fat aul one with a dripping-wet face, stripping a soaking-wet scarf off her head. I could see by the way she was looking at me, she was intent on planting herself down beside me.

Jaysus! She’s standing there waiting for me to move in. I could hear her heavy breathing in me ear, and feel the hot breath on me neck. She hesitated at my seat, not sure what she was going to do. I whipped me head over to the window, pretending to stare out. Not seeing anything through the dark glass with the condensation running down. I gave it a wipe with me hand, pretending to be busy. I could see her reflection standing there with her mouth open, waiting for me to move.

‘Eh, you! Would yeh not move up and make room for me?’ she roared. ‘Hey! I’m speaking to yeh!’ she moaned, poking me on the shoulder.

‘Oh, eh, yeah, sorry!’ I said, making a half-hearted attempt with a few shifts up the seat. ‘Can you get in with me case?’ I said, looking up at her face with the water streaming out of her hair.

‘Jaysus! I’ll sit somewhere else,’ she muttered, making for the long seat at the back. Gawd! That was lucky. She would have ruined me good coat, with the size of her! Sitting on top of me. And all that wet. Not to mention the smell! It must be years since that aul one had a wash. Jaysus! Yer very mean, Martha. Yeah, that was cruel. Still and all! I have to think of me good clothes. They don’t come cheap! Then again, I might get stuck some day ending up looking like that meself! She didn’t always look like that, I’ll bet. Hmm!

I smiled up at her, hoping she might smile back and I’d make meself feel better. She saw me looking and stared for a minute. Looking like I had an awful cheek to be smiling at her after what I’d just done. Then she curled her lip up under her nose and turned away from me, like I was an awful bad smell.

Jaysus! That didn’t go very well! I felt like laughing at the carry on of meself, but just stared out the window seeing nothing. Afraid to look back up at her again in case she roared down and asked me what I was looking at.

I moved back over to the window and wiped the glass, watching the pool of water roll down and catch in the window frame. Then I stuck me face to the glass and stared out. All the shops along Dorset Street were pitch black with the shutters pulled down. The bus slowed down, stopping to let on people trying to make it off the footpath, with the wind and rain driving them back. The lights from the street lamps glowed orange in the dark, and I watched the rain blowing through the light, making it look bluey black. People struggled across the road, with their coats blowing out behind them, getting soaked to the skin. An umbrella blew inside out. I watched, as the woman got yanked backwards with the force of the storm pulling the umbrella clean out of her hand. It took off, flying through the air, and sailed over the high wall of the Bishop’s Palace. Without warning, the wind went mad. Gusting across the road, lifting her off her feet. She staggered, dancing backwards with her arms flying, like she was trying to swim.

‘Oh, my God! She’s going to fall under that car coming up right behind her!’ a woman roared out, sitting behind me on the bus.

‘Where?’ people shouted. Everyone pushing their heads against the glass and wiping it like mad. We all watched, holding our breaths as the car skidded, sending water gushing into the air, and swerved away from the woman flying backwards heading straight for the wheels under the car. The car stopped dead in the middle of the road. I could hear the gasps of shock from the other people as we all stared out, seeing her struggle to get her balance. She rocked backwards and forwards with her arms held out, then planted her feet on the wet road, letting herself balance against the bonnet of the car, and took off again. Ignoring the car and everything else in her path. Fighting into the wind and the rain with her head down and her back bent. She slowed down, throwing her head sideways to take in the bus slowly moving off, making its way towards her. But she just kept going, bus or no bus.

The driver decided to take no chances and stopped. Waiting to let her get back across from the other side of the road. Knowing she was making it her business to get across the very wide road and wasn’t stopping for nobody.

‘Jesus!’

‘That was lucky!’

‘Holy mother of God.’

‘She’s one lucky woman!’ people all said, shaking their heads, nobody feeling the better of it. God! She nearly got herself killed stone dead, I thought. She could have ended up on a mortuary slab, in the dead house. God! You can be alive one minute, and dead the next. It’s hard to understand that! Instead now, she’s probably thinking about getting herself home and out of her wet clothes and into a big cushy armchair beside a roaring red fire, and eating a lovely hot fry, with a steaming-hot pot of tea. Then toasting herself with the feet up, resting on a stool. Then later on, go to bed with a delicious hot cup of Horlicks, and climbing into the bed with a hot-water bottle. Getting all snug and cosy. Well, that’s what the little granny used to do. Go to bed with a mug of Horlicks. I didn’t like the taste of it, even though she said it was good for me. I prefer cocoa, made on milk. But I’m really thinking that’s what I would like for meself.

Me clothes are going to be ruined! And I’m hungry again. What bloody put the idea into me head of leaving on a night like tonight? I should have stayed another night with Clare. All wrapped up and cosy in me room.

Gawd! I hope me flat is cosy. I wonder if it has a fireplace? I could get coal and light the fire. Tomorrow I could do that. It’s too late to go looking for coal now. Everything’s shut up for the night. Anyway, you wouldn’t put a dog out on a night like tonight. Never mind walk the streets yourself in that weather. Maybe the shop sells coal. No, it would have to be a hardware shop.

Where am I now? I pressed me nose to the window again, seeing we were coming to me stop. ‘Quick, move yourself! The next stop is mine,’ I muttered to meself, sounding like an aul one. I jumped up, grabbing me suitcase, seeing all the steam on the bus and people dozing in their seats with the heat rising up from their damp coats. Oh, bloody hell! Me lovely coat and hat and even me shoes will be destroyed. Why didn’t I wear me old green coat? Jaysus! I’m a right gobshite.

The bus stopped to let me off, and I hesitated, seeing the black dirty water running along the gutters. I didn’t want to splash me coat. The bus started to move off and I leapt onto the footpath, missing the rushing water and taking me suitcase down with me. The rain immediately lashed into my face, with the wind lifting the hat off me head, sending it flying through the air. I grabbed out, catching hold of it before it hit the ground, and jammed it into my coat pocket. Jaysus! What a night to come out!

I lowered my head, keeping me face down, and started to push against the wind and rain, with the suitcase banging against my leg. All I could see was the rain hammering against the footpath as it drove into the ground. The lights from the cars rushing past made the water sparkle and dance above the ground, lighting up the path. Then the quiet and darkness again, as the cars faded into the distance. Leaving me with only the wind howling, and the lashing rain beating against me legs.

Jaysus! Am I there yet? I lifted me head slightly, to see how far I’d got, seeing the lights of the shop in the distance. It was the only one lit up. The rain got heavier, and the wind blew it full force, smacking against my head and face, making me lose my breath and soaking me to the skin. ‘Nearly there,’ I muttered. ‘Thank God it’s not far from the bus stop. That’s handy for getting into town.’

The rain belting me in the face made it hard for me to see ahead. I could feel the water running down me neck, soaking the collar of my frock. I stopped, putting the case down on the wet ground and closed the top buttons of me coat, getting blown backwards and knocking the case on the ground. ‘Ahh! What am I doing, bringing meself out on a night like this?’ I screamed, opening me mouth and nearly crying, tasting the water spilling into me mouth. Then I saw how foolish I was, crying in the wind. ‘Right!’ I sniffed. ‘Get yourself moving.’ Then I picked up the case, setting off again, trying to think of something happy.

I’m going me own way! Yeah! It’s just dawning on me now. I started feeling nervous and excited at the same time. Imagine! I’m all grown up now! Out in the world on my own. I have me own place to live, and a job. I need never again put up with anyone’s madness, or get the life beaten out of me, or work for nothing, or have people even thinking of telling me what to do. No! Now I’m me own person. The rest is up to me. I can sink or swim. Yeah! That’s right, I told meself. Trying to buck meself up at the thought of losing me lovely home comforts with Clare and Greg and the boys, and little Aoife.

I could see the bright lights from the shop as I passed a laneway with a door at the side. Wonder if that’s where the flat is? I walked on, pushing in the door of the shop, and stopped, putting me head in first, seeing shelves stacked with tea and bread at one end, and cigarettes and sweets and newspapers at the top end. The long wooden counter ran the length of the big room, then across at the end, and up the other side. Gawd! It’s big. Look at the size of it! Me eyes stretched along the shelves, seeing on the right side a long showcase under the counter, stretching the length of the room. With fancy-looking chocolates, and biscuits where they sell them loose, by the ounce. They were all sitting in their boxes with the glass lids, so you could see what you’re getting.

I walked over to the counter, letting me case drop down on the floor, and waited for the shop assistant to finish serving a man. I stood, letting the rainwater drip down the length of me. In no time at all, I was standing in a pool of water. Bloody hell! I thought, moving away from the water and looking down at meself, flicking me wringing hair out of me eyes to see what was going on. I’m saturated from head to toe. I still can’t get over the stupidity of me not wearing me old clothes.

The woman serving behind the counter had short brown hair, curled in a tight perm on top of her head. The back was cut short like a man’s and dead straight. It stood up like a flower pot. I stared at her, seeing the red culchie face, with half-dead-looking grey eyes. The only movement was from her mouth, twitching into a straight line, showing how annoyed she was with the man for not being able to make up his mind about what he wanted. His eyes flew up and down the shelves, moving himself from one foot to the other to get a better look past her, blocking his view of the sweets.

‘Gimme a packet a them wine gums,’ he said, rooting in his trouser pocket for the change.

‘Sixpence,’ she muttered, making it sound like a snarl. ‘Yeah, can I help you?’ she said, turning her head to me and raising her eyebrows, waiting to hear what I wanted. I hesitated, waiting for the man to come up with the money he was counting in his hand. ‘What do yeh want?’ she barked.

‘I, eh—’

‘Sixpence! Is tha right?’ said the man, interrupting me and throwing down coppers with a thrupenny bit. Raising his eyebrows and giving her a dirty look, not liking the way she served him. She said nothing, just picked the money up and pressed the keys sticking out of the cash register. It tinkled and flew open, then she dropped the money in and slammed it shut. The man stopped to open his sweets and stuck one in his mouth, then pulled up the collar of his coat, making his way out into the terrible stormy dark night.

‘Shocking weather! You wouldn’t believe how bad that storm is until you have to go out in it!’ I said, smiling at her, hoping she might smile back. She said nothing, just stared at me. I could hear me voice fading into the distance and me smile going with it!

‘Do yeh want something?’ she said, raising her eyebrows at me.

‘Yeah!’ I said, hearing meself saying, ‘I don’t want you to smile. Yer face might crack. Still, you have enough to worry yeh when you look at yourself in a mirror. That face is an awful affliction to be carrying!’ I snorted, lifting me shoulders, giving her the same treatment.

‘That’s it! I’m not serving you. You can get out,’ she said, throwing her arm at the door.

‘I’m not asking to be served. By any chance, would you happen to be Molly?’

‘Who wants to know?’ she snapped.

‘Listen, you can tell me where the flat is for this shop. I’m going to be working here first thing in the morning.’

‘Oh!’ she said, whipping her head up, as if I was challenging her for a row. Staring me up and down the length of the floor. I stared back at her, taking in the flowery aul blouse thrown over her big bulk, with a huge chest sticking out. The blouse had definitely seen better days. It was covered in all colours, and the long aul moth-eaten Arran cardigan with the torn pocket hung on her like a rag. The big grey wool skirt wrapped around her massive arse went well down past her knees, hiding her big legs. That skirt looks like something she made out of an old horse blanket. Jaysus! What a culchie!

‘What’s your name?’ she snapped.

‘What’s yours?’

‘Go on then. Around to the side of the shop, down the lane and bang on the door. Someone will let you in.’ Then she turned her back on me, pretending to fix the packets of sweets hanging at the side of the shelf.

‘Thanks,’ I said, whipping up me case and handbag, and marching out of the shop, leaving a trail of water behind me, dripping me way back out into the storm. ‘Fucking culchie aul fucker,’ I muttered under me breath. ‘If yer not happy, then youse should all go back to the bog where youse came from!’ I heard meself say, listening to the way I used to speak not too long ago.

I banged the letter box, seeing there was no bell. Then waited, the wind whipping up me coat, and the rain lashing the legs and face off me. Fucking weather! You would know it’s December. I hate the winter. I stood waiting, starting to shiver, and nothing happened. No one came to open the door. So I banged again, rattling the hell out of the letter box, then waited.

Fuck this! I was just about to go back to the shop when I heard feet coming down the stairs. A big woman with black-framed glasses and a man’s haircut stood looking down at me, trying to take me in. ‘You’re the new girl?’

‘Yeah! Martha is my name,’ I said, pushing past her to get in out of the weather and making for the stairs. There was no room for the two of us in the entrance.

‘Right! Up the stairs. You’re in with me,’ she said, rushing up and trying to squeeze past me. I followed up behind her, the two of us making our way down a passage past doors, with the whole corridor blocked by big cardboard boxes. ‘That’s the kitchen,’ she said, waving her hand at a little room with a table and a cooker with shelves and an aul kitchen dresser with glass doors. ‘Come on. This is my room,’ she said, holding the door open for me. ‘You are sharing with me,’ she sniffed, not looking too happy about it.

I walked in, looking around a big musty old room with two windows, one at each end. ‘This is my bed,’ she said, pointing to a single bed sitting under the far window on the left. ‘Your bed is up that end.’ I looked up, seeing a single bed pushed into the corner, with a big old wardrobe beside it, and the door hanging off its hinges. I looked at the dressing table sitting between the two windows and it was covered in face powder and all her make-up and stuff. Nylons hung off the mirror, and the place was covered with her clothes and shoes dumped everywhere. Even on my bed. ‘You keep to your end,’ she said, rushing up to yank her stuff out of the wardrobe, and dump it into the bottom of another wardrobe sitting in the corner at her end.

‘Are you a Dubliner?’ she said, waiting, with her hands on her hips, for me answer.

‘Yes, I am. You’re a country woman, right?’

‘Yes! I’m from Kerry.’ There was a silence between the two of us. You could hear the room holding its breath. I felt heat rising in me belly, waiting for her to say something bad about the Dubliners. But she thought better about it, seeing me staring at her, with my eyebrows lifted and me eyes spitting venom.

‘What’s your name?’ I said, seeing her turn her back.

‘Molly!’ she snapped.

‘Well, Molly, I have nothing against culchies, I’ve met some lovely ones,’ I said, wanting to get back at her for being a miserable cow.

‘I’ve nothin against jackeens!’ she snapped.

‘But sure why would you? Aren’t we very good to you? Here you are invading our city and we give you all plenty of work, feed you and clothe you! What more would you want?’ I said, hanging up me wet dripping coat in the wardrobe. All I heard was the slamming of the door and she was gone. I was left talking to the empty room.

Oh, oh! There’s definitely going to be trouble by the looks of the people working in this place. Jaysus! All a shower of fucking red-neck culchies! They hate us Dubliners.

I sat down on the side of the bed and looked around the room. The bulb was weak and didn’t give out much light. Mother a God! What a kip! I thought, looking around the place, feeling miserable inside meself. The place had no life in it. Jaysus! It looks like the store room, with the bare grey plaster walls. There’s a terrible musty smell. That Molly one probably never throws open the windows to give the place an airing. I could feel the damp. I looked around, seeing no heaters. Jaysus! There’s no heat, no pictures on the wall, nothing that would make it look like a home. Only the sight of her smelly clothes thrown in a heap everywhere. Ah, fuck! She really doesn’t want to have to share the room with me. I don’t blame her. I thought I was coming to something lovely, cosy and warm. Or at least to have me own room. I knew it! You get nothing for nothing. There had to be a catch somewhere. Flat, me arse!

I lifted me head from the half-dark room with the bare-naked bulb hanging from the ceiling. Seeing the rain lashing at the window, and the panes of glass rattling like mad in the window frames, and wondered if I did the right thing being in such a hurry to leave Clare’s house. I could feel me heart slipping down into me belly, and I felt cold and miserable. I shivered, with the cold in the room hitting me after sitting in this soaking wet frock, and the collar sticking to me neck with the sopping wet. Jesus, this is worse than nothing. On top of that, I will have to work and live with these culchie cows! Ah, to hell with it! I can always move on if it doesn’t work out, I sighed, standing to me feet, and humped the suitcase onta the bed. I’ll make the best of it, just for a short while anyway, see how it goes. I can always look for something else.

I took out me working skirt and blouse with the navy-blue jumper Clare gave me, and left out me old bokety brown shoes. Then left me dressing gown, slippers, nightdress and washbag sitting on the bed and shut the case. Leaving it standing on the floor in the wardrobe. The door wouldn’t shut, it was hanging by one hinge. Ah, leave it.

I turned around and peeled the wet frock off me, and looked for a hanger in the wardrobe. None! Not even one to hang me coat. I looked down to where your woman had stuffed her clothes, seeing a load of hangers sticking out of the end of her wardrobe. Mean cow. She robbed them all. I bent down and picked up a handful, listening to make sure she wasn’t coming back. I didn’t want her to start thinking I was trying to rob her stuff. I hung me wet coat up inside the wardrobe, and got another hanger for me frock. Then I peeled the rest of me clothes off, throwing them on the bed, and dived into me nightdress and dressing gown, wrapping the belt tight around my waist, and slipped me damp feet into the new red fluffy slippers I’d bought meself. I shivered again, feeling the lovely heat from the dressing gown going through me.

Right, I’ll feel better when I get into the bed. I threw back the couple of brown thin blankets to fix the bed. Jaysus! The sheets are damp. The cheek of that aul one taking ten bob for the electricity, when she has no heating in the room. The fucking robbing aul fucker! No wonder she has her money. I stripped the bed, looking at the sagging mattress with a hole in the spring underneath. Ah, Jaysus! This is criminal! Me arse is going to be tipping the floor.

I could feel me belly getting hot with the rage. ‘That fat, poxy aul overfed, fucking good-for-nothing aul one has another think coming if she thinks she’s getting ten bob a week outa me for the electricity,’ I muttered, hearing meself crying. Then I remembered. She stops it out of me wages! We’ll see about that. I can help meself to eight bob’s worth of stuff from the shop! That’s only fair. She can have two bob for the electricity. Yeah, I’m satisfied with that. Right! Enough moaning. Just keep moving before yeh drive yourself mad.

I finished making up the bed and looked around to see what else needed doing. That’s it. Everything is sorted out. OK, that’s me all ready for the morning. A cup of hot tea would be nice! I’ll go down and take a look in the kitchen, and see what there is to eat. Maybe I’ll see that Molly one and ask her what time I have to get up in the morning. But first I’ll give me hair a rub. Jaysus! It’s still dripping with the wet. OK, that will do.

I put the towel hanging on the back of the chair sitting next to my bed and combed my hair, then put the washbag under the chair. Bloody hell! Not even a little bedside table to put me stuff on, I thought. Looking around to see if Molly had more then her share. No, nothing. She has only the one little locker. Right, I’m off.

I flapped me way down the concrete passage, slapping me new slippers against the hard ground, hearing voices and seeing the light was on in the kitchen. Great! Someone’s in here. ‘Eh, hello!’ I said, putting me head in the kitchen, seeing Molly sitting at the little formica table talking to a man with snow-white grey hair. The two of them stopped talking. Molly looked busy, examining her mug. ‘God! It’s gone very quiet in here,’ I said, laughing and smiling down at the man. Molly wouldn’t look at me. The man half-smiled, throwing his eyes in my direction, then stood up, grabbing his dishes and making for the sink, saying, ‘Right, I better be off then. I’m hoping to get an early night. Another week starts tomorrow.’

I stood looking, wondering if he was including me in what he was saying. But he kept his back to me and rinsed the dishes under the hot tap and left them stacked to drain on the kitchen sink. ‘Goodnight, Molly. See you tomorrow,’ he said, rushing out the door, giving me a little nod and a jerk of his mouth, to show it was supposed to be a smile. Hmm! I sure know how to empty a room, I thought, watching his back flying out the door. I poked around the worktop, looking for the tea canister.

‘Eh, Molly! Where’s the tea?’

‘What tea?’ she muttered, not bothering to look up at me.

‘You know. That stuff there. What you’re drinking out of that cup,’ I said, getting fed up with her sulking. She said nothing. Just sat there with her hands wrapped around the mug to keep herself warm, twirling it around in her hands and staring at it. ‘Ah, Molly. Come on! You know. Where’s the tea canister to make meself a cup of tea?’

‘You have to buy your own,’ she said, ‘or put money in the kitty.’

‘Wha? What do you mean, no tea? And buy me own? And who the fuck is Kitty?’ I roared, losing me rag.

‘There’s no need for that kind of language here,’ she sniffed, standing herself up and taking in a deep breath, pushing out her overgrown milkers. ‘This is a respectable establishment,’ she said, whipping up her mug and plate and knife, rushing them over to the sink and rinsing them out. I stood with me mouth open, staring at her hands moving from the hot tap, and flying her fingers in and out of the mug, then rubbing the plate. Waiting for her to explain to me what she was talking about.

‘Kitty is the jam jar we pool our money into every week to buy the tea and sugar and milk and cornflakes.’

‘Oh, you have to buy your own,’ I said, not believing it.

‘Of course! You don’t expect Missus Murphy to pay, do you?’

‘Eh, no, I suppose not. How much do you put in?’

‘Five shillings,’ she said.

‘Five shillings!’ I roared. ‘What for?’

‘I just said!’ she shouted back. ‘But if you don’t want to do that, then you can always buy your own.’

‘Right, I’ll buy my own!’ I snorted, looking for a cup to get

meself a drink of cold water. She was out the door, slamming it shut behind her. Me head whirled around looking. Right, where’s the bleedin tea? Miserable aul bastards! I hope they come to a bad end. God forgive me!

Jesus! I’m starved. I got no tea. I haven’t eaten anything since me dinner at one o’clock today. I’m now used to being well fed. Three meals a day. I still haven’t got over me hungry days. I never waste an ounce of grub. I always make sure to clean me plate, never even leaving so much as a crumb. I think it’s terrible to waste good food when people are out there starving for the want of a bit of grub.

Cornflakes, lovely. I emptied half the packet into a bowl, keeping an eye on the door in case someone came in. Oh, bread and a bit of cheese in a box. Damn! May as well get hung for a sheep as a lamb. I took the lot. Lathered on good butter from the fridge, and helped meself to a banana left sitting in a bowl on top of the press. The kettle boiled, I put two spoonfuls of tea into the teapot and let it draw for a minute, sitting it over a low heat on the cooker. Lovely! I carried the teapot over to the table and poured out the tea into Molly’s mug. I could smell the tea pouring out of the teapot as it went up me nostrils. The smell of the tea somehow bringing me back in time to days of being cold and hungry. Ah, lovely. I dived into the cornflakes, slurping on the milk, and milled the cheese sandwich, making short work of the banana. Then poured out another mug of tea for meself, and lit up a Major cigarette.

Ah, this is lovely! I leaned back, watching the smoke curl into the air, feeling nice and warm now, and happy I had got me own back on Molly. Bloody hell! She’ll go bananas when she sees her stuff gone. Bananas! Ha! Yeah, thanks, Molly. It tasted lovely. Jaysus! She’ll go off her head. Serves her right. There’s no need for the way she carries on. I was barely in the door, in fact she left me standing out in the pouring rain. Only I pushed me way in. I’d probably still be standing out there right this minute. Culchies! I’m definitely going off them now.

I woke up with a shock, staring into the dark. Me heart was flying. Jaysus! What’s happening? Then it hit me. A bell ringing. I stared around the room, trying to make out where I was. Oh! It’s an alarm clock. I could barely make out a huge mound buried under the blankets at the other end of the room. The shop! Me new job! I better get up.

I raised me arms outside the threadbare blankets and the cold hit me straight away. I whipped them back, not feeling too much warmer. Jaysus! I couldn’t get to sleep last night with the cold. Me head was still wet, and I spent the night shivering around in the bed trying to drop off to sleep. I suppose I better get up. I don’t want to be late. But your woman, the Molly one, is not stirring herself!

Right! I leapt up, throwing off the blankets, and dived out, feeling me way around the chair, groping for me clothes in the pitch black. I didn’t want to put on the light and have her start giving out to me. Not until I was dressed anyway. I tore into me clothes, and slipped on me shoes, and took off out the door and fell over a box sitting in me way. I went down sideways, spinning around and landing on me arse with me foot under me. ‘The curse a Jaysus on that aul Murphy one! Her and her fucking boxes,’ I muttered in a loud whisper, rubbing me arse and sitting down on the box to rub me ankle. I got up and limped down the hall, making me way into the kitchen, seeing the aul fella from last night.

‘Hello! Good morning,’ I said, rattling over to see what he was cooking. ‘Are you frying an egg?’ I said, looking at the two eggs sizzling around in the frying pan.

‘I am!’ he said, not taking his eyes off the eggs and flipping them over with the lifter.

‘Eh, is there any chance I might borrow one of your eggs and give it back to you when the shop opens?’ I said, looking up at him hopefully.

‘Have a look in the box,’ he said, throwing his head at the egg box sitting on the worktop.

No! Empty. ‘There’s nothing in it.’

‘Sorry,’ he said, knowing full well he had got the last of them.

‘Thanks anyway,’ I said, feeling a bit foolish at getting caught out like that.

Right! I whirled around, seeing if there was any grub lying about. I can’t start the day on a empty stomach. I opened the kitchen cabinet press, seeing if there was anything worth eating. Bread! I’ll grab some of that, and plaster it with a bit of butter. Before Molly starts mooching in looking for her grub, and finds it all missing, I said to meself, whipping out the bread left sitting behind the glass panel of the kitchen cabinet. I buttered it, leaving it sitting on a plate, and grabbed the kettle to fill it. Then looked around for the teapot.

‘Tea’s made,’ he said. ‘You can have a cup of mine, if you like.’

‘Gawd! Yer very good! I don’t know what I would have done without you,’ I said. Not meaning a word of it. Watching him slide the eggs onto the plate, the smell making its way up me nostrils, tormenting me. I saw the bottle of milk sitting on top of the fridge and grabbed it, taking down a bowl and filling it with the last of the cornflakes. I rattled the box, hearing it empty. Oh, dear! Nothing inside. I had a look just to make sure. No! Definitely all gone! Somebody is going to go mad!

I grabbed a mug and poured meself a cup of tea, putting in plenty of milk and sugar, then making short work of the bread and slurping down the cornflakes. I didn’t bother me head saying a word to the aul fella and he didn’t bother me. The two of us just sat, busy concentrating ourselves eating the grub. I heard footsteps and jumped up, banging me dishes into the sink and rinsing them out rapidly and tried to make me way out the door just as Molly came in. She stood in the doorway, squinting around the kitchen with one eye open and her hair stood up like it had a mind of its own. She had her mouth hanging open, trying to make out what was happening.

‘I hope you did not touch my groceries!’ she roared, rushing over to the kitchen cabinet.

‘Oh, no, Molly! I never saw your stuff,’ I said, racing down to get me washbag and get to the bathroom before the ructions started.

I came flying out just as she headed out of the kitchen. ‘I told you not to touch my stuff!’ she screamed after me, flying meself into the bedroom. I dumped me washbag in the wardrobe and rushed to the dressing table to comb my hair in the mirror, pretending I didn’t think she was talking to me. ‘Did you hear what I said?’ she roared, rushing over at me.

‘Wha? What’s the matter with you, Molly? It’s too early in the morning to be listening to that kind of carry on,’ I said, making me face look confused and upset.

‘I’ll give you carry on!’ she screamed. ‘Just you wait until I speak to Missus Murphy. Now get away from that dressing table. I want to get ready.’

‘Hold yer horses, Molly. I was here first. Anyway, you don’t own it. Half of it is mine!’

‘That’s all my stuff on that dresser!’ she screamed, pushing me out of the way.

‘Fuck you, Molly. Big and fat as you are. Touch me again and I’ll have you plastered on that floor. Now why don’t you stop acting the fucking eejit. What age are yeh? Thirty?’

She was white as a sheet with the rage on her and at the insult of making her older then she was. I watched as her nostrils flared, and her eyes whipped around the dresser, taking in all her stuff, then back to me, her eyes turning in the back of her head with the torment in her. ‘I am twenty-seven!’ she roared. ‘You are only a slip of a thing. You better start showing me some respect, miss! I am in charge here. Now get out of my way, or I’ll have you fired on the spot!’

‘Yeah, you’re right, Molly,’ I said, taking in a big breath and letting it out through me nose. ‘I should have more respect for me elders. It’s not right for me to be talking to people of your age like you were a young one. I’m sorry about that,’ I said, sounding mournful, and rambling back down to me own side.

‘Are you being insulting again?’ she snapped, grabbing up her wash stuff and stopping halfway to the door, waiting to hear what I had to say.

‘No, definitely not, Molly. You’re the boss, and I think we got off to a bad start. I don’t think you like the idea of having to share the room. I’m sorry about that. I’ll stick to my end of the room, and try to keep out of your way. Can we start again?’

She stared at me, saying nothing. Then went out the door muttering to herself, but looking a bit more appeased. Jaysus! Enough is enough, Martha. She’s right! You’ll be out on your arse before you know what’s happened if you don’t stop tormenting her. Right! She’s got the message by now. Don’t mess with me.

‘Here! Come over here and lift them newspapers over to that shelf there.’ I looked around, seeing the empty shelf she’d pointed to, and whipped up a heavy pile, sending the half at the bottom of the pile landing on the floor in a heap, seeing all the pages spilling out. ‘Jesus! You’re less then useless!’ she roared, staring at the upended newspapers splattered all over the floor, and me standing there with another pile upended in me hands, after grabbing them up the wrong way. ‘Put them on the counter!’ she roared, gritting her teeth.

I slammed them down, happy to get rid of the weight, then stood looking at me hands covered in dirty black ink. I looked at me lovely jumper Clare gave me and it was smudged with the black. ‘Jaysus! I’m destroyed! Them papers are filthy!’ I roared.

‘Yes, you fool! You should have been more careful,’ she hissed, grabbing up the stuff off the floor.

‘Is anyone serving here?’ We both looked up over the counter, seeing an old man leaning across looking down at us. ‘Ten Carroll cigarettes, please,’ the man wheezed, sounding out of breath.

‘Will I—’

‘Yes, serve that customer!’ roared Molly.

‘Yeah, would youse please hurry up! I’m in a hurry and haven’t got all day to stand around listening to the likes of youse,’ he snorted, landing his sights on Molly and drawing in his breath with impatience.

‘Certainly, sir!’ I breathed. Whipping meself around to look at all the cigarettes. I couldn’t see them.

‘They’re right in front of you,’ he said, pointing his hand at the second shelf.

I whipped up the packet, putting them on the counter, saying, ‘Will that be all, mister?’, delighted with meself to be serving me first customer, even if he was grumpy. Well, not with me. It’s with that gobshite Molly, I thought to meself.

‘Yeah! Just gimme the change,’ he said, ‘and make it a few coppers. I need that for the phone.’

‘Certainly, half a crown you gave me,’ I said, smacking the big keys hanging out of the cash register, hearing it tinkle and fly open. Then I smacked it shut, landing the change on the counter, saying, ‘Thank you, call again.’

‘Not on yer nelly,’ he said, giving me a dirty look. ‘Youse left me standing here for at least ten minutes. It’s the likes a me that’s keeping youses in a job, yeh know!’

‘Oh, yer right there,’ I said. Shaking me head agreeing with him.

‘Will you ever get a move on and sort out them newspapers?’ Molly roared. Staring up from the floor at me. Getting herself all red in the face.

‘That man was complain—’

‘Never mind him!’ she roared. ‘The bread man will be in on top of us any minute, and so far you are more of a hindrance then a help.’

‘Ah, you get up off your knees, Molly, and let me do that,’ I said, hoping to put her in better form.

‘Stack them in their separate piles,’ she said. ‘Make sure you sort them out properly. I don’t want someone bringing them back complaining we gave them the wrong newspaper.’

‘God forbid I would do that,’ I said, sounding very pious.

‘And watch your language. Stop making a show of this establishment, with your filthy tongue.’

‘Excuse me!’ I roared, whirling around with me hands on me hips.

‘Don’t start again! I’m warning you!’ she snarled, sucking in her lips, looking like she wanted to make mincemeat out of me.

‘Right! But I don’t use bad language,’ I said quietly, looking hurt.

‘Then you should stop and listen to yourself,’ she moaned, making out she was a holy Mary.

Fuck! Any minute now I’m going to lose the rag if she keeps this up. I snorted, letting me breath out, making a big noise so she should know she was going too far.

‘How’re yeh, girls?’ I shot around from stacking the sliced bread on the shelves to see what was going on. ‘Do yeh have a nice box of chocolates?’ a fella with long hair past his ears, curling in a quiff, and hanging down over one eye, laughed. Swaggering his way into the shop and making for me.

‘What kind do you want?’ I said, smiling at him, delighted he wanted me to serve him.

‘I’ll get these,’ Molly said, raising her head from the milk crate and stacking the bottles in the fridge.

‘No! Yer all right. The young one will do me,’ he said, waving her away.

‘Do you want chocolates or not?’ she said, barking at him, holding her hands on her hips.

‘What’s a lovely young thing like you doing working in a kip like this?’ he said, waving his head around the shop, giving a dirty look to Molly.

‘Waiting on a lovely young fella like you to come and buy me a box of chocolates,’ I said, leaning on the counter and giving him a big smile, showing off me white gnashers.

‘Right! What time do yeh knock off?’ he said. ‘I’ll pick yeh up after work. Where do yeh want to go? The pictures?’

‘Get back to work!’ Molly roared. ‘You are not being paid to have idle chatter with the customers.’

‘Jaysus! Where did yeh get yer woman from?’ he said, stretching his neck back and letting his eyeballs hang out, looking down his nose at Molly. I was delighted he was getting a rise out of her, but I kept me face straight.

‘No, sorry, I have a boyfriend,’ I said, getting all serious. Enough was enough. I didn’t want to lose me job. Anyway, he’s not my type. He’s too full of himself. I want better when I start looking.

‘Molly will serve you,’ I said, wanting to placate her, and not give your man the wrong idea.

‘Your loss!’ he said to me back as I planted the bread on the shelves.

‘What price do you want to pay?’

‘Give me a box of them Dairy Milk,’ he said, pointing to the big box of chocolates. ‘Are you sure you won’t change your mind?’ he roared at me as he was making for the door. ‘I bet your boyfriend won’t buy you a box of these. Look, these are for me ma. She’s in the hospital, but I can buy you a box as well, if you like?’

I looked around at him. Seeing he wasn’t acting so full of himself. He looked a little lost, more like a little boy. ‘What age are yeh?’ I said, laughing.

‘I’m sixteen!’

‘Oh! So am I.’

‘Well, then! Will yeh come out with me?’

‘Ask me another time,’ I said, seeing he was really shy, and was just covering up, trying to make himself look like a man of the world.

‘Yeah, right. I will. I’ll do that then,’ he said, backing out of the shop with the chocolates under his arm, wrapped in a brown paper bag.

‘Bye! See yeh! Bye! Be seeing you!’ I laughed. Thinking that could be my very first boyfriend if I wanted. I even felt a bit sorry for him, God love him, and he’s very good. Buying his ma a box of chocolates because she’s in the hospital. Yeah, I might think about it. Because I know he wouldn’t do me any harm. I don’t trust fellas, so that’s saying a lot for him.

‘That’s a very cheeky young fella,’ Molly said, bending down to put the milk in the fridge.

‘Ah, he’s only showing off, Molly. There’s no real harm in him.’

‘How would you know? Sure what experience do you have? You better watch yourself. Mind who you keep company with!’ Molly snorted, raging no one had asked her out. Jaysus! I would hate to be stuck in a dump like this when I get to her age! I’d rather hang meself. No, I’m going to be moving up in the world.

‘Keep an eye on the shop. I’m taking my break,’ Molly suddenly said, making over for the cakes the bread man delivered early this morning. I watched her taking two big sugary jam doughnuts and take off up the stairs to the kitchen, to make herself a cup of tea.

‘Right, I’ll be in charge,’ I said, stretching me arms and leaning me hands on the counter. Then she was flying back down the stairs just as quick.

‘Don’t do . . .’ she snorted, whipping herself back into the shop, coming to a standstill, trying to think. ‘Make sure you know what you are doing,’ she said, looking worried. Her eyes watching me carefully, then flying around the shop to make sure everything was OK.

‘Don’t worry, I know exactly what I’m doing, Molly. Everything will be as right as rain.’

‘That’s what I am afraid of,’ she said. ‘You better not make any problems for me, I’m warning you!’

‘Like what, Molly? Sure I have been at this job all morning. There’s nothing to it!’

‘I’ll be upstairs, if you want me. Just open this door and shout up.’

‘OK, Molly.’ Then she was gone.

I’m on me own! Running the shop by meself. Who would have thought it? Me eyes flew around the length and breadth of the shop, taking in all the sweets. Then I landed me head on the glass case over the other side. The one with the fancy sweets. I listened for a second. Right, she’s gone. I dashed over, and flew around the counter and shot down to where the lovely soft nutty brown sweets were sitting, waiting for me. I picked up one, sniffing it. Hmm, gorgeous. It smells like toffee and coconut. I’ll just have one. They’re very expensive. Well, maybe two. Oh, have another one. Jaysus! Have two more. It’s only a few. Gawd! This is definitely a marvellous job. Working in a shop. I can help meself to whatever I want.

I had me fill of the sweets and was just starting on the Kimberley Biscuits when the door flew open. I nearly choked with the fright. ‘Where are yeh?’ Molly roared, flying her head around the shop, looking the length of the place for me.

‘I’m over here,’ I croaked, lifting me head out of the biscuits, raising me eyes above the counter, trying to swallow the biscuit whole.

‘What are you doing over there?’ she roared, eyeing the sweets, seeing me cheeks bulging.

‘Eh, fixing the sweets, Molly! A man wanted some then changed his mind. I, eh, had to empty them back.’

She stared, looking at me very suspiciously. ‘Them sweets are very expensive, you know.’

‘Yeah! They’re very dear at that all right,’ I agreed, shaking me head at her.

‘So keep your hands off them!’

‘Of course! God forgive yeh, Molly, for thinking such a thing,’ I said. Flying around the counter to stand beside her. ‘Can I go for me break now, Molly? You’ve had yours.’

‘Go on, and only take ten minutes!’

‘Right, I’m off,’ I said, belting up the stairs, dying for a cup of tea and a cigarette. Then I remembered and came flying back down again. I helped meself to two doughnuts and was just whipping out the door again when Molly let out a roar. ‘Come back here, you!’ ‘Wha? What’s wrong?’

‘You have to pay for them, you know. You pay for everything you take out of this shop.’

I didn’t know that, I thought, seeing her not paying for the doughnuts. Then decided to chance me arm. ‘Ah, I won’t bother after all so,’ I said, hesitating, and putting it to me mouth, looking like I was thinking about it. ‘I suppose I better put them back.’

‘You can’t put them back. You’ve been manhandling them.’

‘Yeah, I know. What will you do? Will I dump them in the bin?’

‘You will do no such thing. You can pay for them now.’

‘No, I most definitely will not. I thought you were getting them for nothing. I didn’t see you paying for them,’ I snorted, feeling the heat rising in me, because, now that I remember, she didn’t pay for them.

‘Go on! Get out. Eat your bloody cakes. But don’t let me catch you doing that again. Or I’ll report you to Missus Murphy.’

‘Right, thanks very much, Molly. You’re very good.’

The shop was crowded. I was on night duty, with Molly doing overtime. Because she had to do stocktaking, she called it.

‘Give me an ounce of ready-rubbed tobacco,’ an elderly man said, pointing at the big jar behind me. I dipped me hand in, and pulled out a square piece of tobacco, looking at the price, and handed it to him. ‘Thanks, love,’ and he was out the door, then back in a few minutes later. ‘You might as well give me another two,’ he said, pointing at the jar. Before I knew where I was, there was a great run on ready-rubbed tobacco.

‘Gawd! This stuff is flying,’ I muttered, handing it to a young fellow. ‘What do you use that stuff for?’

‘It’s me granddad that smokes it in his pipe,’ he said, handing me back the tobacco I gave him. ‘I only asked for an ounce,’ he said. ‘That’s two ounces.’

‘What?’ I looked at it, seeing the near-empty jar.

‘The other one,’ he said, pointing to the jar at the far back of the shelf. ‘That’s the smaller one, yeh can easily see the difference,’ he said, being very obliging to point that out to me.

‘Thanks!’ I whipped the money off him, thinking, Jaysus! I’m for it now. I’ve been giving out two ounces for one ounce all day. The fucking robbers! They knew what they were up to. Waiting on me to serve them. I was wondering about that – why me and the ready-rubbed tobacco was so popular. Now I know. Jaysus! That stuff is very dear. If Molly finds out, it will cost me a month’s wages, judging by the amount I gave away. Better hide the jar. I swapped them around, putting the full jar of one-ounce in front and the empty one in the back, hoping she wouldn’t notice.

I was sweeping the floor after the shop shut up for the night. ‘We’re down seventeen shillings and nine pence,’ Molly was saying, looking very worried, to the grey-haired man checking the money with her. The pair of them gave looks in my direction. They better not blame me. When it came to giving out the change, I was very careful. I always make sure to count it out to the customers as I hand it over. That’s what I always did as a child. I always made sure I got the right change.

‘Let’s start again,’ he said, emptying out the bags of money.

‘Molly, I’m going up to bed now,’ I said, making for the door.

‘You better wait! The day’s takings are short. You may be liable.’

‘No chance,’ I said wearily, dropping me shoulders and leaning me elbows on the counter further down the shop. Nobody is taking one penny out of my wages. If there’s one thing I can do, it’s count. I wasn’t running me own business at the age of nine for nothing, I thought to myself.

‘I’m going up for a cup of tea. I’ll be back,’ I said, moving out the door.

I heard the side door being locked, then someone drawing the bolt across and I held me breath. Molly came into the kitchen, making for the teapot. The grey-haired man followed her in behind. ‘Is it all OK?’ I asked her, holding me breath.

‘Yes, it balanced,’ she said, not bothering to look at me.

‘Right, goodnight, then. See you in the morning,’ I said.

She nodded at me, and the man muttered goodnight under his breath. I walked off down the hall making for me bed, feeling this job would not be so bad if the people were nice.

I leaned on the counter, opening the pages of the Evening Herald, seeing the shop was quiet. Molly threw her eye at me, giving me a dirty look but saying nothing. She just tutted, shaking her head, and went back to the business of stacking the shelves with cans of beans. She’d got fed up giving out to me. I had worn her down.

Ah, here we are. Night classes. Me eyes lit up. ‘Classes in shorthand and typing. Why get stuck in that dead-end job! Come and join us. Earn big wages as a secretary’ the advertisement said. ‘Apply to Taylors College. Phone number . . .’ Right! That’s what I’m looking for.

‘Molly!’

‘What?’ she said, giving me a withering look.

‘I need coppers for the phone. Can I run upstairs to me handbag or can I borrow it out of the till?’

‘You will do no such thing. Keep your paws out of that till. You are not going anywhere. You can do your business on your own time.’

‘Well, I have to go to the toilet, Molly. YOU can’t stop me doing that!’ I roared, opening the door and flying up the stairs before she could say another word. I grabbed two pennies out of me purse and flew back down again.

‘Right! I’m back. You didn’t even know I was gone, I was that quick,’ I puffed, trying to appease her.

‘You won’t last in this job,’ she sniffed, letting out her breath.

I went to the phone box at the side of the door and put the money in. When I heard someone say ‘Hello,’ I listened to the money drop as I pressed the button A. ‘Is this Taylors College?’

‘Yes, can I help you?’

‘Yeah, I want to enquire about the night classes in shorthand and typing.’

The woman at the other end listened then said, ‘Are you a beginner? What standard are you at?’

‘Standard?’

‘Yes. Have you done any before?’

‘No, I want to start.’

‘Right. It’s a bit late now, the classes are nearly finishing up. But if you come in January, the classes will be starting over again. They start on the twelfth of January. You just come along on the night and enrol straight away and pay. What way do you want to do it? You can pay nightly. Five shillings for two hours one night a week. That way if you don’t turn up, you don’t lose any money.’

‘Oh, that’s grand. That will suit me down to the ground.’

‘OK, the classes start sharp at seven p.m. And end at nine p.m. It’s to allow for people working during the day. Is that all you need to know?’

‘Yeah! Oh, wait a minute! Do I need to bring anything with me?’

‘Yeah, you need to buy a shorthand notebook, and a pencil and rubber. You can get that in Eason’s. Is that OK?’

‘Yeah, yeah, that’s lovely. Thank you very much for all your help. Oh, by the way!’

‘Yeah?’ the woman said, getting a bit impatient to get off the phone.

‘How many classes are there in the college? Will I be able to find the one I want? I don’t want to be late and miss the beginning.’

‘No, this is only a secretarial college. We have students coming in full-time during the day, and we only do one class at night. It’s always on a Tuesday night.’

‘OK!’

‘Goodbye now,’ she said, making it sound final.

‘Goodbye. Thanks again.’ I put down the phone, feeling me heart flying.

Right, I’ll be there on the Tuesday night in January. But I forgot to ask her how many classes I would need before I can do the shorthand and typing and get a good job. Well, we’ll see. I’ll work hard, that will hurry it along.

I could see Molly was earwigging. She put on her long face with the woebegone look, much as to say, ‘It’s a pity about yeh, thinking we’re not good enough for yeh!’