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Alejandra was as still as a statue standing in the sand. I wanted to watch her. I wanted to see her face as she took in this breathtaking view. I'd seen a lot of places, but I had to admit that this was possibly the most beautiful. Or maybe it was that I knew by her body language that she thought it was the most beautiful place that made me think this was the most spectacular place I'd seen. I had to interrupt her, and I hated that, but there was work to do.
I tapped her shoulder, "Princess."
"What?" She asked, confused. I knew she was so caught up in her thoughts that she didn't hear maybe she hadn't even realized I was there.
"We got things to do, doll."
"Oh, okay." She quickly followed me. I moved the bike behind a large rock that jutted out.
"We're going to make a fire and stay the night tonight outside. I need rest, and I'm guessing your ass can't feel great after being on that bike—for forever."
"We were?"
"Yeah, it's been a few hours since we got gas."
"Hmm, I guess it didn't seem like that long."
"I think this is far enough from the road that a fire won't be seen. Can you look for sticks and twigs while I look for bigger stuff to burn? It's warm out, but it might get a little chilly overnight."
"It shouldn't drop below seventy."
"Even so, have you slept outside before? A fire will help us with the bugs too."
"Okay." she acquiesced.
Alejandra moved along the beach, and I pulled out my phone to check in again. Gunner wasn't thrilled that we kept taking fire, but he trusted me to keep her safe. Everything for tomorrow was ready to go. We'd be on a plane, and far away from this place. Putting my phone back in my pocket, I found several pieces of driftwood that had long ago washed up on the shore. I also found a spot between the rocks that would shelter us if any strong winds came from the water.
I finished hauling more wood to our makeshift shelter, then grabbed palms and created a few walls by placing them between the rocks. I hoped they would help with making sure the light from the fire was hidden entirely and protect us from bugs.
It didn't take me long, but I noticed Alejandra was not back yet, so I went to look for her. She was sitting on the beach, and she'd unwrapped her hair and took it down. Long dark tresses billowed behind her. I could see her profile.That lost look in her eyes was back, or maybe it never left? Thinking she needed some alone time, I found a pile of clumps of seaweed along the beach. It was dry to touch, and I thought it would burn nicely. There were also more twined up branches that had washed ashore too. I started a fire within minutes and unpacked a few things to make us as comfortable as possible. The sun was beginning to set, and the sky had started to turn. I returned to where Alejandra was still sitting in that contemplative way, absently staring out at nothing.
I sat behind her with one leg on each side of her. It was intimate, more so than I deserved, more so than I should've taken. We'd shared two kisses—one she took because she was proving something to herself and the other I took because I was proving something to her. Who was I kidding? I was scared out of my mind that something could've happened to her because she didn't listen to me and didn’t stay put. I had no other choice than to kiss her! I wanted—no; I needed to feel her lips against mine. It was either that or turn her around and spank her. She should've done what I told her. There's no way she should ever put her life in jeopardy for me. If something had happened to her... No, I couldn't go there.
"Where are you?" I whispered to her, hoping to pull her thoughts out of whatever darkness they seemed to be stuck in.
She sat motionless and eventually let her head fall back against my shoulder. I couldn't help but smell the faint scent of flowers in her hair. Moments ticked by where all we could hear was the lapping of waves against the shore. It took her some time to answer me. As I waited, the sun slowly began to sink into the horizon.
"I'm not sure. I'm out there on a boat in the sea. I'm in a room by myself, waiting. I'm bound with leather cuffs designed to keep my skin free from marks."
She was baring her pain to me, and all I could think to do was remind her she was free. Remind her we were almost home and almost safe. We would make it.
"You're here with me. You're not back there. You're free, Alejandra. They'll never touch you again."
"Maybe."
Her answer was so vulnerable. One word spoke volumes about where her head was at. Her guard was down, and she was opening up to me. It was the first real glimpse of her pain that she gave to me. It made my heart rate quicken. I could feel it. Even though she was hurting, I liked that she was sharing her pain with me. Every part of me needed her to share her pain. It was the only way I knew I could help carry the load, but she had to give it to me first.
We were silent. The sun began to dip below the water. Hues of orange, pink, and purple colored the sky. It was breathtaking, but more so than the sunset, was Alejandra. I looked down at her before we were cloaked in darkness. Her hazel eyes were transfixed as if she'd never seen anything like it. I was in awe of her awe.
"Amazing," Alejandra whispered. We were quiet until the last shades of color slipped away, and what was left was the darkened sky. Even then, the stars shone brightly.
"Come on, the fire will need wood." I stood grabbing her hand. I didn't want her to sit any longer. I wanted her present with me, not staring at the sea lost in her thoughts.
"Oh, that's right. You needed me to grab stuff to start it. I guess you got that covered?"
"Don't worry about it, Princess."
"Stop calling me that."
We approached the fire. I enjoyed her change in mood. "You don't like Princess?"
I saw her glare at me through the firelight.
"Not particularly."
"Alejandra doesn't really suit you."
"Of course, it does. It's my name."
"No, it's not you. Alejandra is stilted, tight. Out here, you're free. Alejandra seems like it's trying to contain you. Alex; now that suits you. Quick, simple."
"Why would you want to call me Alex? Do you want to change me too? Mold me to be who you want me to be?"
"Ace isn't my given name."
She looked at me, quizzically.
"I was born Michael St. Claire. In the Marines, most men just called me St. Claire. After I was captured the way I was, I began to loathe my name. They wanted it; my name. They'd torture me for hours, trying to get it out of me, as if having my name would be something that they could use against the Marines. I wouldn't give it to them. But the more time I was there..." I shook my head, finding it hard to continue this story.
She placed her hand on mine. The touch was something else she gave me. It was comfort and kindness, completely jarring in its own unique way.
"You don't have to..."
"No, I want you to understand. After I got out, I met Shane." A small smirk played on my lips, thinking about Shane and those initial days. "I met him at this fight. He and Gunner used to do all kinds of underground fighting. I watched him a couple of times, and he was good. More than good. I'd stand back and watch these fights. I'd watch everyone, like hanging back in the shadows made me invisible. Somehow, it almost did. Anyways, one night, I overheard this guy saying he was going to drug Shane before the fight, so that he could make back some of the money he’d lost the last time Shane fought him. Shit like that's not cool with me. I gave Shane the heads up. A few nights after that, I was in a bar sitting in the shadows. Shane was there having some drinks. Some chick was hanging all over him. He didn't see what was coming for him, but I did. I saw the glint of steel in the man's hand, as he approached Shane from behind. I did what I do, and I stopped it. I took him down and did it quickly.
There was something about Shane. I felt the need to have his back, and that night began our friendship. I remember sitting down across from him in this dingy bar, and he asked me my name. I shrugged, not wanting to give it. I remember Shane raising a brow at me. I told him I didn't care much for my name. He took a deep puff on his smoke and said, "How about I call you Ace, since you seem to be my ace in the hole as of late?" He laughed, and I nodded. I was good with Ace. I liked it. I liked being someone different, someone who wasn't a name being tortured. We rode out, and everywhere I went, I was Ace. It felt good to be a different man. I felt like I could let Michael St. Claire go and with it some of my burdens."
She squeezed my hand, as she took in all I had said to her. "So, I guess what I'm saying to you is you're free. From here on out, everything that was done to you is in the past. Alex will be a fresh start. Maybe it will help you leave a little of Alejandra on the beach, and Alex can re-emerge and do anything she wants to."
She reached up on her toes and kissed my cheek. "I like that, Ace. And I get it. I really do. Thanks for sharing it with me."
She laid down on the makeshift bed I’d made, facing the fire. Her dark hair glinted in the moonlight. My eyes roamed over her curves and the small rise and fall of her shoulders, as she breathed. God, she was beautiful. I wondered if she'd ever open up to me entirely? If she'd ever trust me? She was guarded. Whatever had been done to her created a barrier around her heart. I could only hope that with a new name, she'd be able to let go of a little of her pain. I wasn't a psych major, so who knew if I was even doing anything right, but it worked for me, so why not for her. Kissing her was probably stupid, and what I did next was perhaps even dumber.
I placed more wood on the fire, laid down behind her and wrapped my arm around her waist, then folded my other arm behind my head. I shouldn't have done it. I should've given her space, but truthfully, I'd laid myself bare, and in ways I didn't even understand, I needed her comfort just as much as I hoped she needed mine. I probably shouldn't have found comfort in her. I probably shouldn't have laid next to her, but it was similar to how it was when I met Shane. We met, I had his back, and we had a bond, a brotherhood. With Alex, it was like I learned of her, saw her haunted eyes, then met her, and it was as if two lost souls recognized one another. I couldn't explain it. It just was.
"Ace?" She spoke my name with a familiarity that two people who had just met should not already have.
"Yes, Alex?" My head rested just above hers, and her silky hair brushed against my cheek.
"I like that. Alex," she sighed her name. "Can you tell me about my brother?"
"What do you want to know?"
"Anything really. What is he like?"
We talked for a while. Long after, we probably should have. We had a long day ahead of us tomorrow. We needed to sleep, but I liked talking to her. I liked feeling like I was helping. I liked that she was interested. She also asked about me. Where I was from, that kind of stuff. I didn't want to get into anything heavy. Finally, I heard her yawn.
"We should sleep," I whispered, not wanting to wake her if she was almost there.
"Why did you kiss me earlier?
I was startled by her question. "I was mad that something could've happened to you. Kissing you seemed like a better alternative than getting pissed."
"It was nice."
She turned and snuggled into me. This rapid intimacy between us was something I felt like I needed to get under control. It was moving fast, and we were in extreme circumstances. But not tonight. Tonight, I held her. It felt too good. She felt good.
***
A BIRD SQUAWKED NEARBY as I blinked my eyes awake. I’d never slept that good, as in ever. Four hours was the most I usually was able to sleep at a time. I immediately noticed Alex was no longer in my arms. Part of me wanted to panic as my eyes did a quick sweep of our makeshift camp and came up empty. I stood, wiped the sweat from my brow, and moved out to see if she was nearby. I walked down the beach and spotted her clothes in a pile resting on top of her bag—that she seemed to cling so tightly to herself. Scanning the water with a strange urgency I hadn't yet processed, I saw her head bobbing in the water as each wave passed. She was treading water.
I whistled loudly, hoping the noise would cut through the loud waves. "Alex, we gotta go," I hollered, liking more and more the way Alex sounded.
She emerged from the water like a goddamned goddess. No, that wasn't quite right... more like a siren.
She was naked. Her long hair was slicked back. Her skin was bronzed and beautiful, every inch of it. Her breasts were large and perfect with dark nipples that made me want to run my tongue over them. Her waist was thin, yet she had full hips. I'd known this. I’d held her body close to mine last night, and felt those legs behind me for hours on the bike, but there was nothing quite like seeing it all at once and unclothed. She was bare between her legs, making my dick achingly hard. I wanted to fuck her. I wanted to lay her down in the sand, spread her legs and...
Then, it hit me. There was a reason she was bare.
There was a reason she didn't hide her nudity.
There was a reason behind everything Alex did.
As much as I wanted to admire the perfection that was her, I also needed to teach her that her body was to be earned, and only if the man deserved it. I had to work for it. It shouldn't be given so freely. I hated that she didn't seem to understand that, or maybe she did, but using her body was her way—the wrong fucking way.
With all that in mind, I turned around. "Alex, get some clothes on," I bit out with more aggression than I would've liked, but let's face it. Alex could give me blue balls for the rest of my life.
"You have a problem with my nakedness? You don't like my body?" She accused.
"That's not it, Alex. You shouldn't show it so freely, though."
"Why not? I've never had much privacy. Why start now? You can call me something different, but I'm still who they taught me to be." Her guard was definitely back up.
"Are you dressed?"
"Almost."
I waited another minute, then turned around to respond to her. "You might think you're the sum of what they made, but I know that shit ain't true. You need to figure out who you want to be. You start doing that by me calling you Alex. If you want to be called something completely different, I'll call you that. If you decide it's Alejandra, I'll stick to that too.
"Now, saying that, I'm also going to say that I'm a man and I got a dick. And seeing as I got a dick, I'm going to react because you're you. But before I really react, I want you to be the you that you want to be. Not the you—you are for me, not the you—you were for them, but the you that's inside of you. Once I can get to know her, then Doll, feel free to walk around naked. Until then, you let me get to know whoever the hell you are."
If she was shocked by what I’d said, she didn't show it. She didn't show much. Her face was a mask. One, I increasingly wanted to crack wide open. I hated the way she slipped it back into place so easily. It felt like last night in the darkness, we were finally starting to get somewhere. She was beginning to open up, but with a new day, my challenge of breaking down that wall came right back up.
We took down the camp. Alex helped throw sand on the fire while I took our makeshift shelter down, then used the palms to get rid of most of our footprints. It was fine if you could tell someone camped here, I just didn't want to look like it was last night.
Alex asked questions about how things should be done, and she seemed to take direction easily, almost like she enjoyed doing mundane work.
"Are you ready?" I asked.
"Si." She surprised me by speaking in Spanish. It made me wonder, "Why is it you can speak English so well?"
I watched her reach down and grab her bag that was never far from her, before she answered, "I'm multilingual. I can speak Spanish, French, English, and Russian. I am well-educated, Ace. What I was bred for, I needed to be intelligent arm candy."
I didn't know if her words were meant to sting, or if they were just factual. It didn't matter because they hurt. I hurt for her.
"I don't believe that's all you were made for. I think there was some type of love there. Your mom, Gunner's mom, from what I've been told, was very loving at one point in Gunner's life. I can't imagine that you were made solely to be put in this lifestyle. Nonetheless, I hate that you were." I moved to her and ran my hand over the side of her face. I was comforted when she leaned into my hand. She blinked up at me, and if I wasn't mistaken, it was to blink away tears.
"What's the plan for today?" she asked, changing the subject and pulling away from me.
"We've got about seventy miles to go, and then we'll be on foot for about five miles. We'll cross the border, and the plane won't be too far from there." I bent low and reached into my bag, grabbing a protein bar. "Here, eat this. It's not much, but we need all the energy we can get."
"All right. Once we get to the plane, then what?"
"Then, we fly home."
She nodded like she didn't quite believe me, but was trying to convince herself as much as me.