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Chapter Seventeen
Alex

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Everyone had gone for the night. Ace was lying on his bed, jeans on, ankles crossed, barefoot, watching me. I felt his eyes on me nearly all day. No matter where I went, it seemed like he was tracking me. It bothered me because the more he looked after me, the more I hated the position Hades was putting me in. I had started to feel things for Ace. It wasn't just that he was making me have experiences with my body that were solely about me; it wasn't that he was patient; it wasn't that he'd saved me. It was all of those things together, but mostly it was that he wanted to be with me, because of who I was, not how I looked or what I could do for him. I could see his internal struggle. I knew he wasn't sure if I was ready, or if it was the right thing to do, but seeing those questions plague him made him all the more endearing.

I was fucked.

I had no doubt that Hades would do terrible things to everyone if I didn't help him. I tore my eyes from Ace, "I'm going to shower." I grabbed my bag and got out of there as quickly as I could. My feelings were so mixed and overwhelming. Once the shower was running, I dug through my bag, pulled out the dreaded cellphone, and sent a text as steam slowly began filling the bathroom.

I met Gunner tonight. I'll update you soon.

I hated sending the text. I hated how it made me feel. But I knew that Hades was dangerous and that he could potentially hurt them. I had to figure out a way to keep everyone safe and earn my freedom at the same time.

The small light on the phone illuminated, alerting me to a text.

I want to hear from you tomorrow. You need to work them for information.

My hands shook as I powered off the phone and got in the shower. My heart beat wildly. As I washed with the feminine shampoo we picked up at the store, I played the events from the day in my mind. All I kept thinking about was that, no matter where I was, Ace was watching me. This was going to be harder than I thought.

I was surprised to see Ace in the same spot on the bed, only now he had a laptop open, and was clicking on the keys on the keyboard. I had a towel wrapped around me and nothing else. Ace set the laptop aside and motioned for me to come to him,, saying, "Come here."

I went. My treacherous feet taking me right to him.

He scooted a little more towards the center of the bed and patted where he wanted me to be. I sat and tightened the cinch of the black towel. My wet hair was brushed to the side over my shoulder.

"Today was a long day. How are you?" Of course, the ever-thoughtful Ace would be concerned about my headspace.

"I'm okay. It was nice meeting Gunner. Gun was incredibly sweet. I've never been around children."

"Never?" Ace's eyebrows rose slightly at the question.

"I mean, I've seen children in the streets playing, or being a little too rowdy for their parents in restaurants. But luckily, the people I've spent my time with didn't bring around children."

Ace nodded then ran fingertips down the back of my neck, trailing down my arm causing small goosebumps to break out along my skin.

"I like you like this. You're so much more beautiful without make-up. Don't get me wrong, you're pretty with the make-up too, but when I can see all of you, you leave me breathless."

My eyes caught his, and I had the sudden urge to cry. I swallowed back my tears and straightened out my features.

"Don't do that, Alex. I watched you change your face all fuckin' day long. Don't hide your emotions from me."

"I wasn't..." I began to argue, but Ace cut me off.

"You need a shirt to sleep in?"

"Please."

Ace lifted his shirt over his head, and before I knew it, he was pulling it down over my head. My heart raced wildly as I stared at Ace's chest. I don't think he could ever not affect me. That scar, how I ached to run my fingers over it again. His abs, oh how I wanted to lick each one. I'd never been able to do what I wanted, and seeing him with no shirt on, made me want my freedom. I wanted to touch him.

I put my arms through the sleeve holes and stood, letting the towel fall away, feeling the slight dampness between my legs. Being aroused was new to me, and I liked the power it made me feel. I didn't feel dirty. I felt in control.

His computer dinged, and Ace looked away from me and picked back up his laptop. I sat down next to him and watched as he quickly typed. I knew I needed to see what he was looking at. I hated it, but I knew I needed to do it. With his eyes intent on the computer, Ace wasn't noticing what I was looking at, so as I sat down beside him while he worked, I tried to catalog what I was seeing. It looked like some type of report, and there was a brief note at the top. The findings suggest that the warehouses were empty was the last line I read before Ace quickly closed the computer. There was a slight tick to his jaw.

"Everything okay?" I asked.

"It's club shit," he said, shaking his head.

"Come on. Let's get some sleep, yeah?" Ace leaned over me and turned off the light. I could smell him everywhere. I was cloaked in his scent, and as he bent over me, I couldn't help but breathe him in. What were his words? When I can see all of you, you leave me breathless. I clung to those words. I repeated them like a mantra. Maybe I could find my way out of this, and somehow, have Ace in the end. I would've thought that with the desire that simmered just below the surface for Ace, that something would've happened between us. Instead, his warm arms wrapped around me, and I fell asleep quicker than I'd have dreamed possible.

I awoke with a start. The room was cloaked in darkness. Ace moved jerkily in his sleep. I could faintly see from the moonlight a fine sheen of sweat covering his forehead. "Ace, wake up." I gently shook his arm. "Ace, Ace," I called his name several times; finally, he began to stir.

"What, what is it?" He was dazed from sleep, but his senses seemed to be on high alert as he looked around the room frantically.

"Ace, honey. I think you were having a bad dream."

He shook his head, and it looked as if he was in disbelief. "I don't remember."

"Can I get you anything? Water?"

He sat up and flung his legs off the side of the bed. There was a soft thud as his feet landed on the floor. He ran his hand over his head. The expanse of his back was to me. He didn't answer my question. The room was eerily quiet except for the soft inhale and exhale of our breath. He stood without a word and left the bedroom. I saw the flicker of the bathroom light as he closed the door behind him,

I waited, not wanting to fall back to sleep. I was worried about him. It was such a confusing feeling. I supposed all sorts of normal human emotions had escaped me with the way life has been for me. Worrying and genuinely caring for another human being was just another emotion that left me feeling guilty. I hadn't even given Hades any information yet, but I knew that I would. I knew if I didn't, I wouldn't be free of him.

Ace returned with a glass of water in his hand. I was lying on my side facing the door, watching Ace as he entered and set the water down, and sat back down on the bed.

"Sorry about that. I didn't mean to wake you."

"Hush, it's okay. Lay back down."

"Dawn is only about an hour away. I'm going to work out. You go back to sleep, though, okay?"

"Ace." I rubbed my hand down the length of his back, sat up, and placed a soft kiss on the back of his shoulder.

"I'm too worked up, Alex."

"Lay down, Ace," I ordered, leaving little room for argument.

Reluctantly, Ace laid down beside me. His body was stiff, and I knew he was wound tightly. I ran my hand over his chest, down his arm, and linked our fingers. He squeezed back, barely relaxing his hold. I began to softly kiss Ace's chest with a gentleness I'd never experienced, let alone given to someone else. I kissed his shoulders and his scars. My lips barely brushed his skin, but it was all that I could do. I wanted to show him the kind of gentleness he'd shown me. I wanted to be there for him. Kiss after kiss, he slowly began to relax.

"Do you want to talk about it?" I asked once his body was no longer rigid.

"I don't really remember what I was dreaming about. I was just on edge."

"Does this happen a lot?" I hadn't witnessed him having a dream like this before, but who knows what could've triggered it.

"I sleep like shit. Have for a long time, but I'm not sure exactly what the trigger is. The VA gave me sleeping pills, but I won't take them. I'd rather get up and work out than not have my senses about me."

"What's the VA?" I was guessing it was a doctor's office, but I really was unsure.

Ace tilted his head to the side, and even though it was still dark, I could see his features soften. "You know, sometimes you seem like such an old soul, and then other times, there is this innocence about you."

I didn't say anything to that. What could I say? I surely didn't feel innocent.

"The VA is a hospital for people who served in the military. I'm just a dime a dozen there. Every soldier has some type of wound, whether it's mental or physical; if they've been in the thick of it, then they’ve got scars.

"Your MC name?" I questioned. I'd wondered for some time why the name, Bleeding Scars; this conversation made me feel like I got it a little better.

"Yeah, babe. Shane, Gunner, and I; we all got a past. A past that's left its mark but made us who we are. Our MC is about knowing our past and doing what the fuck we want, the way we want, because of it. The thing with scars though they leave a reminder not to make the same mistake twice. You look down at your scar and know you did something to mark you, you're not doing that a second time."

"Wow, that's pretty deep for bikers," I joked, running my free hand up and down his chest, stroking my fingertips along his scar.

Ace grabbed my wrist and pulled me closer to him. "You want deep from a biker, you got to go deep. You might not like everything you find, but it won't matter. You see me and my imperfections, and you know I'm going to do everything I can to learn from my past, and make sure what we're building is solid. I'm going to get deep in you, Princess, in every fuckin' way possible."

He was kissing me. It was deep and hard. His tongue plunged into my mouth. Swirling. Creating desires, feelings, and want.

God, how I wanted him.

I'd never wanted anyone.

But so help me, I wanted him.

I moved for his cock. I wanted to wrap my hands around it and then put it in my mouth. He stopped me, grabbing my wrist.

"You think you're ready?" There was a gruffness to his voice.

"Yes."

"I don't think you are."

He was stopping this again, from going where we both wanted it to go. I wasn't happy about it.

"Stop it. Do not pull away from me again. You're hot and you’re cold, Ace."

He leaned his forehead against mine. I felt his deep inhale and exhale against my lips. "I want you, and I think I've made that perfectly clear, but I don't just want your body. I want it all. I don't think you're ready to give me your all. We've been running so fast at everything. Today was fucked. You met your family for the first time, and let's not forget your fucking dad's visitor. When I sink into you, I don't want to be let up for air. I want to drown in your depths. I want to know that when we're finally together, I got all of you."

Tears threatened to fall from my eyes. What was wrong with me? I'd never let a man affect me like this, so I had an odd sense of rejection. He was right, though, it had only been a day. And bringing up Hades was a reminder I shouldn't need. I had a job to do for my freedom. I needed to stop getting lost in Ace and do it. A small part of me hated myself at that moment.

I began to pull away from Ace, but he stilled my hips close to him and then hitched my leg over his waist. "Let's get a couple more hours of shut-eye. Yeah?"

I didn't say anything. I just stopped resisting and tucked my head in the crook of his arm. I wish I could say that I fell asleep. I didn't. I stayed awake as Ace slept, trying to figure out my racing heart.

Once he was completely asleep, I freed myself of him, grabbed my dreaded bag, and locked myself in the bathroom. I powered on the phone and sent a text.

On his computer was a report of some type of explosion and it said the buildings were empty. I couldn't see more than that. Is that enough?

Guilt coursed through me as I hit send. I felt like the worst type of person. My brother and Ace were opening their entire world up to me, and I was behind the scenes being whored out in an entirely different way.

All my life, all I'd done was play roles. I had to be whomever they wanted me to be. I could do this, couldn't I? I could be who Hades wanted me to be. I could be who Ace wanted me to be. What I couldn't be until this was all over was free. I was no less trapped than when I was a prisoner in Enrico's home.

***

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I WAS POURING MYSELF a cup of coffee. The rich aroma of Arabica beans filled the air. I couldn't make myself go back to sleep. Instead, I decided to get ready for the day. Ace sleepily pulled a shirt over his head as he walked down the hallway.

"Morning," he said, walking behind me and grabbing a coffee mug from the cupboard over my head. He then bent low kissing the side of my neck. I wanted to arch into him, damn traitorous body. "I didn't think you'd be up already."

I didn't say anything, but smiled.

"I need to go in today. It's your choice if you want to come with me, or if you want to just hang out here?"

"I'll come with you," I agreed quickly.

Ace nodded, then poured the coffee into the cup.

"Don't feel like you have too. You might get a little bored, but you can always watch TV." TV did not sound fun to me, but still, I knew I needed to be around everyone.

"I want to go."

He nodded again, and we sat in silence for a while. I liked the silence with him. It was calming-peaceful even.

We rode the bike to the shop. When Ace pulled in, I noticed video cameras on the property that I hadn't seen yesterday.

The garage bay opened, and we rode in. Everyone seemed busy. There was a large machine operating, and I think the operators name was Knuckles. I saw some blue sparks flying, and as I followed Ace, I noticed Shane held some type of wand that had flames coming out of it.

"What's he doing?" I asked Ace. I couldn't help being curious about nearly everything here.

"Shane's welding a piece for a custom."

"Custom?"

"Sorry, custom bike."

"And that?" I asked, pointing to the machine Knuckles was using, "What's that do?"

"It manufactures metal. We have some patents on parts. He's working on an order now for a keg, the valve helps clear the air from a keg line. It’s usually best if used in a kegerator.

"What's a kegerator?"

"Man, you really are cute, do you know that? A kegerator holds draft beer and keeps it cold."

"So that's what you do here? You make machine parts?"

"Yeah, that and bike parts. We do a little bit of everything."

I wanted to ask about the other, not so above-board side of his world, but it didn't feel right. It didn't feel like it was my business, but it was good to know they had legitimate business.

Gunner walked into the main area and approached us. "Hi, Alex. How are you doing today?"

"Gunner," I said his name in nearly a whisper. It was still so shocking to have a brother. "I'm good. Where's Gun?" I had to ask because it always seemed that wherever my brother was, Gun was usually close by.

"He's at school. Yesterday, the teachers had some learning day, or some shit."

"Oh." I didn't know what else to say to that. I wasn't used to small talk.

"Are you going to be around for a while? Would you like to have lunch with me?" He asked.

I looked at Ace, who gave me a subtle nod, indicating he thought I should say yes. "That sounds nice," I answered shyly. Why was I acting shy? It had been such a short time since I'd left Colombia, but I already saw myself changing.

"Ace, you got a minute?" Gunner asked.

Ace nodded and moved down the hallway with Gunner. I strolled around the shop. This place was huge. It was also loud. The machine they were running clanged as a huge metal box hummed and shook slightly. Small, silver, metal scraps came out of the other end of it.I noticed trash cans filled with metal shavings. Strange.

I walked to the boxing ring that was on one side of the warehouse. There was a pair of faded, red boxing gloves with a few cracks in the leather hanging off the ropes. I wondered if Ace was a boxer. I bet that would be a sight. I had been to fights before. That was a sport the men my uncle associated with had wanted me as arm candy.

I meandered more and passed the loud machine. I saw several motorcycles, and I think Donnie was the large guy's name who was polishing the chrome on one of them. There was a smaller bike that had a purple gas tank. It was pretty, and I wondered if it was for a woman. I wondered if women rode.

A man was kneeling by another bike. He noticed me and stood, then approached. "Alex, right?" He stuck out his hand. "I'm Reggie." I remembered young Gun talking about Reggie, and I recognized him from Ace's house as well, but we hadn't been formally introduced.

"Gun spoke of you. It's nice to meet you." It was odd shaking his hand like we were equals. I'd never really been treated that way.

"This here is Daisy."

I looked around, unsure of who he was talking about.

"The bike. She's a beauty, ain't she? She's a 1970 Dyna Glide. Runs like she was born yesterday, though."

"You named your bike, Daisy?"

"Hell, no. I'm just doing some detailing on this one. Owner's some Sunday rider. Keeps her in the garage until Sundays. Barely takes her around the block then puts her away. It's a shame really. A bike like this should be ridden."

"It's definitely pretty," I agreed.

"It gets a little loud in here. If you're bored, there is a TV and a couch in the first room down the hall. Help yourself to the fridge as well." He pointed to the fridge near the televisions, but with all the noise, I wouldn't be able to hear a damn thing; hence why I was guessing he told me about the room.

"It's nice to have you here. Gunner's been out of his mind with worry ever since he found out about you. And that rescue from Ace was a goddamn miracle, if you ask me."

"Yeah, Ace was pretty spectacular getting me here," I said wistfully.

I moved to one of the coolers near the fridge and grabbed a soda, then walked down the hallway and abruptly stopped when I overheard Ace and Gunner.

"There's going to be a drop in two days," Gunner spoke quietly.

"Off 87?"

"Yeah, you know the spot," Gunner confirmed.

I quickly backtracked and walked into the room Reggie had mentioned. I flicked on the television and sat on the dark suede couch, noticing a small blue stain on the armrest. There was a football and a skateboard against the wall, and my guess was that Gun often spent time here avoiding the noisy clubhouse, and that the blue stain was his doing. As I watched some mundane show about cooking, I felt my eyes grow heavier and heavier.

***

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"ALEX, WAKE UP." SOMEONE was rousing me from sleep, and in my haze, it took me a second to realize it was Gunner.

I blinked, letting my eyes gain focus in the bright room. Gunner was gently shaking my shoulder.

"Hey, I would've let you sleep, but Ace said you barely ate this morning, and it's past one."

"Wow, I can't believe I slept that long." I sat up and momentarily marveled at my brother's eyes. They were soft in a way I'd only seen him look at Charlie and Gunner with. His hazel eyes were so similar to mine; it was almost eerie.

"I can. This couch is the shit. Gun falls asleep on it all the time."

I stood and followed Gunner from the room, and Ace was walking towards us in the hallway. I paused in my steps as he stopped directly in front of us. With incredible gentleness, Ace moved a strand of hair behind my ear. "Have a good lunch, Princess."

I smiled, but didn't say anything. It was intimate in a way that made it seem Ace didn't mind giving that to me no matter who was around to witness it. I followed my brother to a large black truck. It took me a few minutes to figure out how the heck I was supposed to get in it. I must've stood staring at it for too long, because Gunner called from the truck, "Open the door and grab the handle up here." He pointed to a handle on the inside of the door frame.

"Thank you," I said, once I was seated beside him.

"No sweat. Mouse had a hard time getting in here when I first got it."

"Mouse?"

"Sorry, Charlie. Mouse is a nickname I gave her when we were kids."

"Why do you call her Mouse?"

"She was quiet and would never talk, but she was always around. I think she didn't know that I knew she was there. Most people didn’t because - well- because she was as quiet as a mouse."

"Makes sense."

We drove for a few minutes in a different direction than I'd been with Ace. I was able to see a bunch of stores; some even had large neon-colored signs over them. Even though the weather was on the chilly side, there were a lot of people walking.

We pulled into a small diner. I'd never eaten at a place like this, only fancy restaurants with staff that catered to your every whim. There were booths and a few stools in front of a long counter where an older woman poured steaming coffee into a man's coffee mug. There weren't even tablecloths. A few women sat at one booth. I watched as one woman's eyes grew larger as she took in my brother. Another man with a black hooded sweatshirt sat alone, but stood and shook Gunner's hand as we passed. We didn't wait for anyone to seat us. Gunner just led me to an open booth near the corner of the room.

This was all so normal. A brother and a sister having lunch. I wasn't sure what to order and was glad when Gunner offered to order burgers for us both. There were so many things that were different in the States than in my sheltered Colombian life. Sure, I ate well when I was out 'entertaining,' but sometimes expensive food wasn't that great.

It was strange sitting and having a conversation with Gunner. He talked a lot about Gun and his wife, Charlie. I asked how they met, and he explained to me that they were neighbors, but were separated. Charlie raised Gun on her own for a long time before Gunner found them again. He told me how Enrico held Charlie captive, and my gut turned. Enrico was evil. Charlie wasn't the first, but if she was who I thought she was, then she was the last. I remembered her screams.

I cast my eyes downward. "Gunner," I nearly whispered. "I think I remember hearing her. I'd said something to Enrico about it and..." I couldn't tell him what happened to me because of it. Shame and embarrassment moved through my stomach. A sudden wave of guilt coursed through me. Could I have done something more to help her than I had? It didn't feel like it at the time, but I couldn't help but feel sickened and riddled with guilt because of it.

"Excuse me," I said, "I need to use the restroom."

Gunner's concerned eyes watched me. I could tell he was used to reading people. I tried to pretend that his concern didn't affect me. If I acknowledged just how good it felt to be around everyone, I wasn't sure I could deal with what Hades wanted of me. I already felt tremendous guilt because I had been texting Hades. I felt like a fraud. I felt like I needed to choose this side, and freedom be damned. I needed to do more.

I excused myself to the restroom. I needed to pull myself together. I stared at myself in the mirror, a crease formed between my brows. "You can do this, Alejandra," I whispered to myself, trying to give myself a pep talk and to ease the weight on my chest that was beginning to feel enormous. I felt that if I didn't loosen the weight that I'd find myself drowning. But how could I get rid of the shackles that had been holding me down my entire life? It felt like the answer was there, but just out of my grasp.

A slight creak signaled the door to the stall behind me was opening. I wasn't paying attention. I should've been.

An arm snaked out and dragged me into the stall. It happened quickly. A man's large hand clamped over my mouth and pinned me to the wall. I could smell cigarette smoke and musk.

"Boss thinks you're not moving fast enough. Telling him about the report was good. But he ain't happy with how slow you're working. Said I should remind you of the whore that you are."

His body pressed into mine; his weight trapped me. I felt my old self slipping into place. I raised my chin slightly. I would be who I needed to be in order to survive.

"I'm going to move my hand. If you scream, know that Hades has men on your brother. Do you understand?"

"But of course, Señor," I lowered my voice, the Alejandra I was before, shining through. Had I really changed so much that I now thought of myself as before Ace and after?

His hand cupped my pussy, then squeezed it, pinching the sensitive flesh. I ignored it. I shut off what was happening.

"God, you're a sweet one. I bet I could stick my dick in you, and your cunt would swallow me whole. Would you like that?"

I hated his vile words. I hated him. My father sent him, and I hated him too. This was a reminder; one I wasn't going to forget. I chanced a look at the man. His sideburns were long and stopped abruptly on the side of his face. His eyes were dark, which contrasted with his red hair. He had a scar running through his eyebrow, and his face was full. I cataloged him in my memory. I'd store his face like the rest of them. He was just another man taking.

I was detached.

"I asked if you'd like that?" He spat.

A knock on the bathroom door interrupted him.

"Alex. Is everything okay in there?" Gunner called through the door.

"Answer him yes, and tell him you'll be right there."

"Everything's fine. I'll be right out," I called, hiding the tremble from my voice.

The man pulled away from me, releasing my pussy. I hated the disgusting way my body felt.

"You're going to work harder at getting information for the boss. Or next time, I'll be pinning you to the wall with my dick up your ass. You got it?"

I lifted my chin to him, stepped away like nothing happened, and promptly left the bathroom. Gunner was standing outside of the door, and his face looked murderous. Did he know what just happened? Did he overhear?

He grabbed my arm and pulled me close to him. "Come on. We've got company."

He motioned to the front of the diner, where Hades stood with a small smirk on his face. Of course, he would be nearby.

"Don't talk to him. Not a word. You got me, Alex? Let me handle him. I've got this." We followed Hades outside the diner, where a light misty rain had made everything slick.

We approached Hades. I hadn't yet shrugged off the disgusting feelings from the bathroom.

"Alejandra. You're as beautiful as ever," Hades said smugly. I had no doubt he was completely aware of the assault on me by one of his goons in the bathroom.

"You and I need to have a come-to-Jesus," Gunner spoke low and menacingly. I'd never heard anyone talk to Hades that way.

"Is that so?" Hades mocked.

"Yeah, it's so. You don't come near Alex. You never bothered to be a parent to her while she was with that sick fuck, Enrico. You don't get to contact her. You don't get to breathe the same air as her. I'm going to make myself perfectly clear, if either you or one of your dumb fuck Runners come near her again, our war’s expanding. You understand me?"

Hades stood a little taller, squaring his shoulders. "She's my flesh and blood. I made her, and I'll do what I want with her."

"No, you fucking idiot. She's my flesh and blood and part of my family, and she will choose what the fuck she wants to do. When will you get it through your thick fuckin' skull that people aren't property?"

"I should've let the boys kill you when I had you under my roof. Would've saved me a lot of trouble."

"Let's be clear on that too. Choosing to join your club was the biggest mistake of my life, but you made a good amount of money on me in the ring, so let's cut the bullshit."

Hades shook his head at Gunner. "You really think you have power, don't you?"

I hated how carelessly he spoke to Gunner. I wanted to defend my brother. I wanted to do something other than listen to the complete bullshit coming from Hades’ mouth. The man from the bathroom walked up from behind Hades. He didn't look at me; I was grateful for that, but my eyes still shot daggers at him.

Hades might not have been as well dressed as the men my uncle dined with, but he was lethal. He'd killed before. I could see it in his eyes. Once you met a killer, it was easy to spot them.

Gunner stood a little taller, taking the smallest step towards Hades. It was bold and not what I would've thought Gunner would do. He was perhaps stronger than I'd given him credit for.

"I'm not that kid anymore. It's far past time you learned that lesson." Gunner shot me a sharp look, "Let's go."

***

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WE PULLED UP TO THE clubhouse. Both of us were silent on the quick drive back. My mind was riddled with guilt, and fear of how unsafe I was. I could also clearly see that with or without me, Hades posed a threat to Gunner and his family. Why should I care though, right? I just met him. And Ace? He would be in the crosshairs of Hades no matter what I did, whether I stayed or went.

The problem was I did care.

Ace was at the computer when Gunner and I walked in. "Ace, I need a word," Gunner said, no doubt needing to relay what happened.

Ace looked at me, I could see by the quick analytical way he watched me, that he was assessing if I was okay. I wasn't, not really anyway. I put the man in the bathroom behind me, just like I always did. I steeled a brave face and watched as Ace squinted, seeming to read me all too easily.

Ace closed the window on his computer screen that he was working on. The screen went to a password page. "Alex, can you give us a minute?" Ace blew out a breath and stood.

"Actually, if you see Shane out there, will you send him back here?" Gunner asked.

I nodded and moved about the clubhouse, but didn't see Shane. There was a lot of noise between the machines and other equipment running. It was clear that even though they referred to this large place as their clubhouse, they very much ran a successful business out of it.

I got a couple of waves or grunts from several men as I moved about. Reggie, who was working on a bike, stopped what he was doing and looked up at me, "Something I can help you find?"

"Not something. Someone. I'm looking for Shane."

Reggie pointed to an old truck where a man with a welding mask covering his face was using a blow torch against the hood. "That's him."

"That explains why I couldn't find him. Thanks."

I moved to where Shane was welding. The helmet covered his face, but his sandy blonde hair curled around the edge.

"Shane," I said his name once, but he didn't seem to hear me. "Shane!" I yelled louder.

Startled, I watched his body jerk, and he stopped what he was doing. He lifted his welding mask and made eye contact with me.

"What's up, Alex?"

"Ace and Gunner need you. We ran into Hades while we were out."

"Fuck," Shane cursed, and quickly headed to find Ace and Gunner.

I sat down on one of the couches in the common area and pressed my palms to my eyes. What in the world should I do?

"That bad, huh?"

I looked up and was startled to see Reggie sitting across from me.

"That shit with Hades goes back forever. He does something to us, we retaliate. The shit is old, and the entire club is done with it. Whatever happens next, don't take that on. You get what I'm saying?"

I looked at him confusedly.

"He's hurt everyone. He's killed. The things he did to Gunner, and what happened to Charlie because of him? All I'm saying is that nothing that happens when it concerns Hades Runners is on you."

I nodded. They would be at war no matter what I did. I couldn't be the reason that the scales tipped. I'd never been much or had much, but these men had a lot. They had each other's backs in a way I don't think a book had ever shown me. It was one thing to read about loyalty, it was another to experience it. I couldn't be the person who brought them down. So what if Hades hurt me? It wouldn't be the first time.

This simple, easy, one-sided conversation with Reggie had my mind whirling. I stood and decided I needed to go back there. I was acting on impulse and without self-preservation. I mean, what if I turned on Hades and then Ace and Gunner no longer wanted anything to do with me because I was a plant? What if I was disposable to them? No. I couldn't think like that. I had to trust them.

"It's pretty heated back there. I don't know if you want to go back," Reggie calmly suggested.

"Thanks, Reggie, but I think I probably should."

He looked at me skeptically, but didn't stop me as I walked down the hallway knocking on the office door.

"Busy," Gunner shouted from the other side of the door.

"It's me," I called back, hoping they would open the door for me.

The handle turned, and I took a deep breath, praying I wasn't making a huge mistake, hoping I was making things better, not worse.