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I was in a hotel room. We'd driven for so long, and in so many different directions, I couldn't be sure where we were headed. I did get the impression that we would only be here for a short amount of time, and then we'd go to Russia.
"Shower!" Sokolov said in a curt tone. I kept my mouth shut, knowing not to argue. I moved to the ensuite bathroom. "Leave the door open."
I willed myself to stay calm and to be the Alejandra I once was. God, was it really such a short time ago that Ace took me away from this world?
I undressed, knowing his eyes were on me. It couldn't matter. I had to shut it off. This was what it was going to be. I should never have believed in the fantasy of freedom. I closed myself off and washed my hair with the cheap hotel shampoo and conditioner. I tried to not think about the gun held to Gun's head. I tried not to think about Reggie. And mostly, I tried to put Ace out of my mind. I had to. There was no way that I could hold on to both Ace and my current situation. If I thought about him and the promise of him, I didn't know if I could survive.
On autopilot, I turned off the shower and grabbed the nearest towel. It was large and soft, and I realized we were in a more upscale hotel. I must've been so caught up in my head that I didn't pay attention to my surroundings. Maybe I could figure out where I was and find a way to let Ace know. No, I had to stop. This was my life. Even if Ace found me, could I really put anyone else in jeopardy because of me?
I had to stop and forget about Ace, Gunner, Charlie, and Gun. That was the fantasy. I stared at myself through the fog-covered mirror. I knew Sokolov watched me. It had always been that way. If I was in the room with him, his eyes were on me. I had to let go of the dream that Ace promised. I had to remember who I'd always been, and that was Alejandra. I smeared my hand across the mirror so I could no longer see my reflection and said goodbye to Alex and became Sokolov's whore.
I played the seductress well. I left the bathroom and moved to Sokolov like we were together, and what we had was real. I cupped his rugged, aged face and placed a chaste kiss along his jawline.
"Did you find something for me to wear? I want to please you."
He grabbed a handful of my wet hair and twisted it, making my scalp sting. "Why did you leave Colombia?" he demanded, shocking me.
I felt unsure of what the right thing was to say. I didn't want to fill him in that Gunner was my brother. He might already be aware of this, but the more I could leave him out of it, the better. "I was not safe there. My grandfather's men... Then my father showed up and told me someone was going to rescue me."
He roughly tugged my hair so that his face was in my neck as he hissed, "You were mine. Your grandfather knew it—that filthy scum Hades knew it—no one should have touched you. When Enrico died, I bargained with the old man, and the amount of money he received to keep you safe until I collected you meant you should've been protected." It almost sounded like remorse in his voice.
This information was shocking to me. Is that why my grandfather's men were after us? because I was already bought and paid for by Sokolov? I should've known it was something like that. I was confused by the role my father played in all of this, and I was not going to freely offer any information on Gunner or Ace.
He nipped my neck then walked me to the bed, still fisting my hair.
"I did not know this, Sokolov," I purred. I knew I needed to play whatever role he wanted me to play, or things would end very badly for me. I needed to survive.
"You should not have run and with a man," he spat. I knew just being with Ace was cause for punishment in his eyes.
"You have to understand, Hades..."
"Enough!" he shouted, cutting me off.
I was tossed on the bed, my towel falling loose.
"You will be punished for your disobedience. Rollover," he commanded. I thought I knew what kind of punishment I would receive. Sokolov had always been one to punish. He would paddle me, or spank me, or tie me up. I could handle this. I always could. Enrico's rule was that Sokolov wasn't allowed to leave scars on me. I rolled over like he told me.
"When I paid for you, you became mine. Do you know what that means?"
I didn't answer.
"Answer me!"
I still didn't say anything, too afraid of what he would say next.
"Answer me, dammit," he growled again.
"No, Sokolov. I do not know what that means," I answered, although I feared that I did.
"It means I make the rules now. I decide what happens to you and how I can punish you."
I laid perfectly still, not knowing what would happen to me but knowing that I needed to endure.
He smacked my ass hard, the sting undoubtedly leaving a welt. "Your skin looks so pretty with my handprint." I didn't cry out or even make a sound. I tried to let my mind go somewhere else, but he spoke again, making me listen.
"Which one of your grandfather's men touched you?" he asked, sounding jealous, which was strange because I doubted that Sokolov had any real feelings for me. It had to be more like when a child plays with the toy you want.
I didn't wait to answer this time. "I did not know his name, but the man Hades sent to retrieve me put a bullet between his eyes."
"That is good. Saves me the trouble." He came close to my face, and I could feel his breath against my lips. "How about that, man? The one who took you. Has he been inside of you?" My heart beat rapidly. He knew something about Ace and me, but at least with this, I could be honest with my answer. "No, Sokolov. He was not inside of me." Even as I said it, I regretted it. I resented that Ace hadn't been inside. It would've been my one shot to have that freely, now I would never know what that was like.
"I can see that you are telling me the truth, but your eyes hold regret. You wanted to." He was angry. I should've hidden my feelings better. Everything was too fresh.
He pulled away from me, and I felt another sharp sting against my ass as he smacked me even harder. This one, I was sure, would bruise.
"Alejandra, look at me."
I moved my eyes to Sokolov and watched as he unbuckled his belt and slid the expensive leather through each belt loop. Fear trickled through me. I knew he could hurt me and probably would. I shivered. I wish I could've contained it, but it just happened.
Once his belt was free, he doubled it up and hit it lightly against my flesh. The small crack made me jump. I closed my eyes, wanting to go somewhere else because I knew that crack was only the beginning.
"Did I say you could take your eyes away from me?"
I immediately opened my eyes, "No."
"No, what?"
"No, Sokolov."
The next strike came down hard and fast across my back, making me cry out unexpectedly. He'd never hit me there.
"That's it," he cooed. "Feel what I can do to you."
Another strike came down, and this one was across the backs of my thighs. I had no doubt that it broke the skin, and tears pooled in my eyes. Another strike across the backs of my calves and again, I couldn't help but cry out.
"Move down to the end of the bed. Heels to your ass."
I did as he said and hated how listening to him so easily made me feel. I had to do this. I couldn't fight. I needed to be exactly who I had always been. He knew that Gun was a weakness to me, and if I fought, I had no doubt he would use that weakness against me. The hardest lessons in life often had consequences. And I had little doubt that this lesson was going to be a hard one.
Another strike. This one on the soles of my feet. "Shit," I cursed. I had no idea that much pain could be felt there.
"Stretch your arms wide over your head."
I did as I was told, and I waited for another strike to begin. My eyes stayed on Sokolov, but I tried not to watch as he pulled up a chair and sat down in front of me. I pictured the sun setting over the Caribbean as Ace sat behind me. I tried to go there mentally. I wanted to fixate on that beautiful, peaceful moment. I wanted to feel the sand against my toes and the salt in the breeze. I tried to not let it penetrate what would happen to me next as Sokolov sat down and began to stroke himself. I tried to go somewhere else during what happened next. I tried to pretend, but the thing about pretending was it wasn't real, and the things Sokolov did to me next were very real.
By the end of it all, I felt truly broken. All the recent goodness that I'd experienced, that was all a dream. It couldn't have been real. I was Alejandra. I was made to be this, made to do things that repulsed me, and hurt me, but this was me. I had to harden myself and not think about him or some fantasy life that I wish I could've had. I had to give up on any idea of freedom. From then on, I had one job. I needed to survive, and if that meant I closed myself off and did as Sokolov commanded no matter how much pain it brought me, I did it.