| |
"What did he say?" Charlie asked. We were sitting in a booth in the back of Scars. I couldn't believe the guys built a brand-new bar right next to their club!
I took a sip of my soda, unsure of what to say. "It was kind of odd."
"How so?"
"First, he's so damn attractive. I mean, I remembered him being hot, but he's this beautiful giant man."
Charlie grinned. "Go on."
"I don't know. I guess I built up this reunion in my head."
"I'm guessing it didn't live up to that?"
"He seemed different, somehow."
"Well, you're different."
I took another sip of my soda, and I could tell she sensed my discomfort when she changed the conversation.
"How's Erin adjusting?" Erin was a woman I'd met, and had become friends with. When I decided I was going to move back here, I asked her if she wanted to come. She said yes, and we became roommates.
"It's going good. She's looking for a job, but that seems to be challenging since she was taken at fourteen. She doesn't have a whole ton of experience. She's still taking the online classes that were offered to her."
"I can check with Gunner to see if they need anyone here."
"Let me know. She may be nervous about working in a bar, but at least it would be an option."
"I will," Charlie said, drinking a large sip from her water.
"I talked to Hope House. I think that my contribution will help a lot of women."
"That's amazing," Charlie said excitedly. The amount of money that the men took from my family's estate was more than what I needed. I decided to donate money to Hope House, which was the house I stayed in while I was gone.
"Thanks, I'm also considering opening places more like it. We'll see, though. I don't want to... What's the saying? Bite more off than I can chew?"
"Take your time. You don't have to rush into anything."
I nodded in agreement. I knew she was right and that there was no rush. A second later, I smiled coyly at Charlie, "I decided to take you up on your offer."
"Which offer is that?" she asked hopefully.
"My counselor thinks that it might be good for me to take one of your classes. She thinks I might regain some of my own sexual identity if I do it on my own terms."
"Oh, honey. I can't tell you how happy for you that makes me. I have a class tonight at five or one in the morning at nine."
"I'll do tomorrow's class. What should I wear?"
We spent the rest of our lunch discussing her class. Charlie, at one point, was a successful exotic dancer, and she opened a studio to teach women how to work a stripper pole. It was more than that, though. It was all about women understanding their bodies and building self-confidence. For me, I knew how to use my body, but I needed to gain power over my body. I'd had that taken from me my entire life, and taking her class would be all about taking some of that power back.
***
"IF YOU GET ANY BETTER at this, I'm going to offer you a job," Charlie yelled over the loud music. I was upside down. My thigh wrapped around the gold pole. The woman next to me was currently on her ass, having fallen. I was at this for over a month now, and I loved it. It was exhilarating.
"One more time, everyone!" Charlie paused the music, and I knew in a second she would start it back up again. I slid down the pole as she moved to each of the women, instructing them on what they’d done wrong. I envied her sexual prowess, and I hoped that one day I would feel as freely as she did.
The music started again, and I immediately got lost in the bass. I grabbed the pole and danced around it for several beats. The women around me were doing the same, and I could distantly hear Charlie giving instructions to other women. I climbed hand over hand until I was near the top, then I hooked my thigh tight around the pole, and I spun. A huge grin broke out over my face. I loved this part—the speed—the way my muscles were worked felt freeing.
I briefly registered the ding, signaling someone had walked in the front door. I still spun for a minute, completing this part of the dance. Charlie paused the music, "Sorry, everyone."
I was still high in the air and tilted slightly back when I looked towards the door to see why we stopped. I was so shocked that I almost lost my grip. Ace was standing there, holding a case of water. He looked good. His hair looked freshly trimmed, and it looked like he had just shaved. He had sunglasses on, so I couldn't see his eyes. Even though I couldn't see them, I could tell that they were trained on me. He wore all black, from his vest down to his motorcycle boots. I had only seen him in passing just a handful of times since I'd been back, and each time, I wanted to talk to him, but he didn't make it easy. If I was honest, I felt like he was avoiding me.
"Sorry for interrupting. Gunner was working on his truck, and he asked me if I could drop off the six cases of water you picked up at Costco."
"Thanks for bringing them. Everyone take five."
I slid down the pole, never taking my eyes from him. A few women grabbed robes. I had on small black booty shorts and a fitted tank top. Most women were dressed similarly to me, but a few liked to dress more provocatively. It helped put them in a different headspace. I could understand that, but they also seemed to be the first to rush to put something on if someone suddenly entered.
I straightened myself then adjusted my tank.
Ace looked away from me and to Charlie. "Where do you want these?"
"The office is good."
He walked into the office to set down the case of water.
"Talk to him," Charlie hissed under her breath, and I knew right then that she and Gunner had orchestrated this.
I wasn't one to look a gift horse in the mouth, so I quickly slipped my feet into my flip-flops. Ace was already out the door, when I hurried behind him.
"What are you doing?" he asked.
I picked up a case of the water, "I'm helping."
"With no pants on?" he growled.
"I have pants on. They're just not very big," I said with a smile to my voice, then grabbed the case of water and walked inside, all while feeling his eyes still trained on me. I dropped the case of water on top of the case Ace had already brought in. He was right behind me dropping another case.
"I got it. I don't need your help, Alex."
"Really, I don't mind."
"I mind."
Ouch. Well, that hurt. My face must've portrayed the disappointment that I was feeling.
"Look, Princess. It's not about you helping me. It's about you with half your ass hanging out, so every Tom, Dick, or Harry doesn't wind up with a hard-on."
There was a lot there. First, he hadn't called me Princess in a long time. Second, he was worried about men seeing me. It made me think he still cared. Maybe Charlie was right, and there was a chance after all.
I'd given up hope when each time I saw him, he seemed more and more distant, but maybe there was hope.
"Tom, Dick, or Harry?" I asked cheekily.
"Never mind. It's a saying. Just stay inside. I'll get the fucking water."
"Fine, I'll leave you to the fucking water." I left the office and left Ace to it. If he wanted to handle it, I'd let him handle it. I walked to Charlie. "He's going to deal with the fucking water."
"He said that? He cussed at you?"
I gave her an irritated look conveying exactly how that made me feel.
"Give me your shoes. Mine are in the back. I need to have a word."
"You don't need to say anything to him," I pleaded.
"I do too. Give them," she ordered.
Charlie was as strong-willed as they came. I knew she wouldn't back down, so I slipped my feet out of my flip-flops and watched as she rushed outside to Ace. I couldn't hear what she was saying, but I knew a lot of words were exchanged. I could only hope she didn't make it worse.