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“Are you okay?” Venni asked as he drove me back to Biomystic Security.
“Yup,” I lied.
“Laila.”
“I’m done. With staying at BMS, I mean. I need my own place. I want to go home, but it doesn’t feel like home in that building anymore.”
“You’ll find a place.”
“Maybe.” I scratched my eyebrow, feeling a headache coming along. My phone beeped, and I jumped at the harsh sound.
“Did you take your medicine?” he asked as I pulled it out and turned the alarm off.
“No.” I dug through my purse before pulling out the small bottle. “It’s ridiculous. I’ve never had to take pills before.”
“You need time to heal and since magic, your magic, did the damage, it isn’t going to help you recuperate.”
“I know. I’ve been through this over and over again. Can’t use magic. I know,” I snapped as I twisted the top off and dumped the pills. More than I needed spilled out, and I had to put the rest back, my hands shaking with frustration. “This is absurd. I need to use a stupid alarm just to remind myself or I forget.”
The pills were small and round, intended to help cushion my brain from my magic, acting as a barrier to give my head time to heal. I wanted to blame the pills for my disconnect with magic and slow progress, but I knew it wasn’t. I forced Dr. Ferald through long intensive conversations over the pros and cons of taking these darn pills.
“Are you still having memory problems?” Venni asked.
“I don’t bother talking magic,” I said. “If I don’t talk about it, then it isn’t as noticeable.” For the first week after the attack, I had trouble holding onto words. I knew what I wanted to say, but there was a separation between my brain and my mouth. Words escaped me. After the first week, I had most of my speech back, able to hold a full conversation without stuttering or not knowing which word to use, but if I got technical, talking about magic and using all the big words, it became more apparent.
“What is that?” Venni said, slowing down as he stared out his side window. I leaned forward, trying to see what he did. There were cars parked, blocking a road, their lights flashing through the night in oranges and reds. A barrier sat at the start of the road, right in front of the parked emergency vehicles. Everything was pitch black past the lights. What we could see were men in uniforms, standing around, weapons at their sides, facing the main road. They were enforcers and they looked pissed as we drove by.
“A quarantine,” I said. “I feel the coldness of the blackout ward. They only use those when they don’t want anyone seeing or feeling anything going on inside of them. It’s a costly spell. I think it’s only the one street.”
Venni pulled out his phone, carefully typing out a text as he slowly navigated the streets. Most of the traffic had slowed down to watch the show.
“Letting Dwight know?” I asked.
He nodded. “In case he needs to prepare. The enforcers might reach out to us, I don’t know. They can handle most things, but it’s rare to have a quarantine in place. They might want back-up if it’s something this big.”
Once traffic cleared up, Venni sped up until we were at Biomystic. He had a frown on his face as he parked in the garage and then led me inside.
“What are you thinking about?” I asked.
“I don’t know yet. I’m hoping it’s nothing and they’re just taking precautions. I don’t like the idea of a quarantine needed in the city. That means it’s something that could spread. We won’t know anything more tonight, and hell, we might not know anything tomorrow. I’ll check in with Lombardi.”
“Did he come back here?”
“No. He dropped Shanton off at a hotel and then headed home.”
When we got to my temporary apartment, I turned to Venni, hating the seriousness in his expression. I placed my hands on both of his cheeks and gave them a careful squeeze. “You’ll figure this out,” I said. “We’re safe, so that’s something. There hasn’t been a city-wide alert released. They have it contained, and they’re dealing with it.”
His unfocused eyes finally cleared up as he fixated on me. He blinked a few times before giving me a small smile. “Isn’t this supposed to be the other way around? Why are you the one comforting me? Aren’t you usually the one trying to butt in?”
“Oh, I want to. I really do. But we’re also ending a date and your head isn’t in the game. I’m feeling a little lonely here.”
His big hands went to my waist to pull me into him. He brushed his cheek against mine before placing a kiss on the pulse in my neck. I shivered from the intimacy, my body lighting on fire.
“Are you really feeling neglected?” He nuzzled my sensitive skin, taking in a deep breath.
“Damn right,” I said. “Stay with me tonight?” I asked, hopeful.
He sighed, resting his forehead on my shoulder and shifting so I took on some of his weight. “I wish. I really really wish I could. I’d love nothing more than to make you forget everything tonight. It’d just be you, me, and all the time in the world to do what I want to do to you.” He squeezed me. “And there’s a lot I want to do to you,” he rumbled.
“Then stay.”
“Not tonight, Laila. I’m not ready.”
I pulled away from him, my mouth dropping open briefly before I slammed it down with a click. He had me speechless.
Eyeing me warily, he asked, “Laila?”
“Uh, okay. Wow.” I wasn’t sure what to say. I was dumbfounded. I’d never been turned down because someone ‘wasn’t ready’ before. This was... new. Since dating my Biomystic guys, they’d been driving me crazy, getting me worked up only to step away. It was a hit to my pride. I was a young, hot female, and one-night stands were exactly that—one-night stands. Men didn’t say no to me. At least not until I’d met these guys. “Okay.” I nodded.
Venni was skeptical as he stared at me.
I patted his chest and blew out a breath. “I understand.” I nodded again. “I will respect that. I can respect that.”
Venni’s shoulders slumped, and he chuckled. “Laila, you’re babbling.”
“I’m not babbling.”
“You are.”
I licked my lips. “Well... I didn’t expect... it’s nothing. I’ll get over myself.”
Both his eyebrows raised.
I cleared my throat, feeling a little bit like an idiot. “Thank you for tonight,” I said. “I had fun.” It was impossible to meet his eyes so I settled for looking over his shoulder at the blank wall.
Venni’s shoulders shook with laughter. I frowned, not liking that he was beginning to make me feel like I was the butt of some joke.
“What?” I asked with a little heat.
He shook his head.
I smacked his arm lightly. “Venni. I’m trying to be respectful here. I can do that.”
“Really?”
I sent him a haughty look. “Of course I can. If you aren’t ready, you aren’t ready. I’m not going to jump you. I can respect your wishes.”
When his expression softened, the tension flowed out of me. “Thank you. I know you can.” He glanced away briefly before focusing back on me. He used that moment to unleash all his emotions, the look on his face turning into something dark and primal. Holy shit, that one look sent my body into overdrive. That wasn’t fricken fair.
He blinked a few times before his expression smoothed out. “Don’t think I don’t want to, Laila. Because I do. I want you, and I will have you. I’m dealing with some shit, and I want to make sure that is handled before we go further than we’re both ready for.”
“What does that mean?” I asked.
“I’m a wolf.”
“I know. You enjoy howling at the moon.”
He snorted. “Not what I meant, but yes, we have traditions. Rigid traditions.”
“Does this have to do with that whole wolf mate thing? Wolf shifters have one mate, right?” I asked, finally getting an insight into Venni’s life. I didn’t know much about his personal life. He fought hard to keep it hidden from everyone at work, and I practically lived at work. It made connecting with the guys difficult because a lot of our interactions revolved around our jobs.
“Part of it, yes. It’s a bit hard to talk about with people outside of the pack. Simple terms, the pack prides themselves in their bloodline, and we mate to ensure that bloodline. We believe in fate, in having one mate. We don’t do sharing and can get territorial. My family—my mom—they won’t get this. What I’m trying to do. They won’t accept this.”
My blood slowed down as he talked. “They won’t accept me?”
“With time they will.”
“Do they know?” I asked. “What you want to do? With me?”
He looked away.
“Venni?”
“Not yet. I’ve been trying to figure out how to tell them. The position I’m in.” He sighed. “I rank high in the pack.”
“How high?”
“My uncle is the current Alpha. My mom’s brother.”
My mouth popped open. “Holy shit.”
He nodded. “Yes. Holy shit. They are prideful people and the expectations on us are high. When my uncle’s son takes over, I’m expected to be his right-hand man. I don’t want it, but that’s what they expect of me. There’s no room...” He trailed off.
“No room for me,” I said, connecting the dots. “They want you to find a nice female wolf to mate with, to have a bunch of wolf puppies to keep the bloodline strong and pure.”
He jaw flexed as he clenched his teeth.
“There’s no room for me in the pack.”
“Yes.”
“I didn’t know it was this bad.”
“Because it doesn’t matter.”
“It does,” I said. “It really does.”
“Laila, it doesn’t. They can’t force me to be Beta.”
“And what happens when you tell them the truth? That what they have planned for you isn’t what you want?”
“I don’t know,” he whispered.
“But you do. You know exactly what’s going to happen. What is it?”
He glared at nothing over my head.
“Venni.”
“Worst case scenario. I’ll be disowned. They’ll exile me from the pack.”
“No.” I shook my head. “They can’t do that. And you can’t let them do that, not because of me.”
“Laila, calm down. It won’t come to that.”
“But it will if we keep doing this.” I waved my hands through the air.
He grabbed my shoulders. “Dr. Laila Porter,” he snapped. “It won’t come to that. They can’t afford to lose me and frankly, what they want from me is something I’d been fighting long before meeting you. Us doesn’t change anything. I don’t want anything to do with the pack. I built my own life, outside of it. If they decide to exile me, I’m all set. I’ll be okay without them.”
“But you need them. You need the pack, to do those monthly hunts as your wolf with them. You’re not built like Alijah. You need that pack bond.” I rested my hand on his chest, feeling the strong steady beat of his heart. “You’ll go crazy without your connection to them.”
“I only see them once or twice a month now,” he said. “I don’t even hunt with them anymore. My pack isn’t them. It hasn’t been for a few years now. My pack is Biomystic Security. It’s Davies, Rhett, Elliot, Alijah, Ami, all the other employees. Dwight is my alpha. You’re—” He stopped talking abruptly.
“I’m what?” I asked.
He shook his head. “As I said, I’m not ready to get into that. But you’re part of it too. My wolf sees you as pack. My real pack. Those other wolves, I don’t need them. I haven’t needed them for a while.”
“Then why are you hesitating?” I asked. “Why am I still a secret from them if that is the case? If you don’t need them, why are you struggling with knowing how to tell them? A part of you still needs them. You know that.”
“Laila, I’ll figure it out. This was a long time coming between the pack and me.” He pulled me into a hug, and I wrapped my arms around his massive frame. His scent wrapped around me as my skin tingled with his energy. He took in a deep breath, one of his hands burying into my hair as he pulled back. “Until then, I’m not coming inside because I know exactly what’s going to happen if I do, and we both aren’t ready for it.”
Feeling brave, I asked, “And what will happen?”
“I’ll never be able to leave you. You’ll be it for me.”
My breath hitched at his admission. He leaned forward and kissed me. “Don’t think about it. Not tonight. Let me give you a goodnight kiss to remember, and tonight, while you’re sleeping, all you’re going to be able to do is dream about me. I’m going to fill your dreams. Please?”
I nodded and pushed into him, our lips meeting. His kiss was more of a promise of the claiming he really wanted to do. His scent comforted me, made me wish we were in a meadow instead, in the middle of fall, with the sun shining on us.
When he pulled away, he rested his forehead against mine.
“I’ll be ready soon,” he whispered. “I promise. Please, trust me.”
I nodded, it being the only thing to do in this situation. Did I feel guilty? Yes. I didn’t like feeling like the catalyst that was going to get him evicted from his family. He should have them in his life. I never had a family, but I knew that was what they were for—support.
He pulled away with a small smile. “See you tomorrow.” He gave me a peck on the lips and then nudged me toward my door. I unlocked my door and turned to close it. Venni still stood there. He stayed there until I was safely inside and the lock clicked into place. I checked the peephole, and he still stood there, staring at the door. His lip curled into a small smile.
“Go to sleep, Laila.”
“Good night.”
It took everything I had to step away. I wanted to yank the door open and pull him inside. I wanted him to stay with me. But I had to respect his wishes. Even if I was horny.
