“Dude Chilling Park? Is it really called that?” Emmy asked as they approached. The place was lit with lots of street lamps, but the lights cast weird shadows. To Emmy, playgrounds at night looked like horror movies.
“Yep.”
“What the hell?”
“Some artist person made a sign calling it Dude Chilling Park and the city removed it. But people around here liked it and petitioned the city to keep it, so they did,” Jude explained.
“Vancouver is seriously awesome.” There was no way that would have happened back in Winnipeg.
Jude shrugged.
Across the grounds, a crowd of people was making a lot of noise. A big white cloud hung above them, letting off the skunky smell that made Vancouver famous.
Paige walked ahead, like the tip of a pyramid, leading Emmy and Jude into the larger group. When she got close, she burst forward in a run. She opened her arms to grab people into a huge group hug.
“Yay!” She squealed. It was like she was reuniting with long lost friends. “Everyone, this is my cousin, Emmy.”
They waved like good obedient folks, but nobody seemed to care. There were a lot of blank expressions. Emmy knew the look. She’d seen enough of it in the smoke pit behind the school back in The Peg. She wondered how Jude felt in places like this, around people like that.
Paige jumped into the action right away. She grabbed a guy with dreadlocks pulled up into a man-bun and wildly signalled to him. He took her by the hand and told her to relax. He sat her on his lap, facing him and put her arms around him. Then he fiddled with something in his bag.
It was strange for Emmy to watch her perfect cousin take a drag from a joint in a park. Emmy didn’t judge people who drank or smoked . . . anything. Live and let live. But it was weird to see someone as thin and competitive and clear-skinned as Paige do it. Didn’t she get the munchies?
They passed the joint around. When it came to Emmy, she held it to her lips. She turned her head up to the stars while looking away from the crowd, then passed it to Jude.
“I’m good,” he said, passing it along.
“What now?” Emmy asked.
“I think you’re looking at it,” Jude told her.
“Want to go sit down?”
“Yeah,” Jude said. “How about over there?” He pointed at a spot away from the crowd.
It was perfect. Emmy did not care about making friends with all these people. But a chance to sit next to Jude? Now that was something.
“I wish you had your guitar,” she told him. “I’d love to hear you play.”
“I’ve got a harmonica.”
“Get out.”
“No, really,” he said, digging around in the inside of his jacket. “Never be without some way of making music. That’s my motto.”
“Good one.”
Emmy watched intently as Jude played. She committed each precious moment to memory. She had never been serenaded before. Not that that was what this was. She was sure Jude was just doing it to be nice. But still, how dreamy.
“It’s like we’re hopping the rails or something,” she said.
He laughed. “You weirdo.”
“Am I weird?”
“The best people are.” His eyes told her he was teasing her playfully, not meanly. He was flirting.
What was the right way to respond? Emmy asked herself. Her belly flopped. For a moment, she thought she would hurl. There was nothing to do but quickly change the subject.
“Oh, my God. Look!” she pointed at one of Paige’s friends who was twirling around and around. Her friends all fell over around her, laughing.
Jude shook his head. “They’ve been like this for years. I don’t know what Paige sees in them. Except maybe that she doesn’t have to try as hard as she usually does.”
“You think she tries hard?”
“Sure. You don’t get the kind of fan club she’s got without trying.”
“I guess. She makes it look effortless, though.” Emmy looked at her cousin, who was laughing, but still standing.
Emmy and Jude sat side by side. Neither of them said anything, and a silent awkwardness grew around them. Emmy leaned against Jude’s arm, thinking he might shove her away, even playfully. But he didn’t. He absorbed the lean.
“Can I ask you something?” he finally said.
“Anything,” Emmy said.
“Are you queer?”
The question sent her mind spinning. Was he asking because he could see she had a crush on him? Did a crush on him mean that she was queer? “Not, um, officially, I don’t think.”
“You’ve never kissed a girl? Or been attracted to one?”
She shook her head.
“So when you look at me, you see me as, like, a guy?” Emmy could see it was a risky question, even for someone as confident as Jude. She heard the nervousness in his voice.
“Well, that’s what you are. Isn’t it?”
The sides of Jude’s lips curled downward, although he was clearly smiling, not frowning. He got a faraway look in his eyes and seemed almost tearful.
“Where did you come from?”
Emmy knew better than to answer the question.
After a period of silence, Jude said, “It’s cool being here with you. I come here alone sometimes.”
“You do?” But Jude was always surrounded by a posse of admirers. Wasn’t he? Emmy’s mind had been taken over by thoughts of Jude ever since that first night at the coffee shop. But she was starting to see she didn’t really know him.
“I come to think, be by myself. That kind of thing.” Jude looked off at the trees.
“Really?”
“Why are you so surprised?” he asked. “I’ve been coming to this exact spot since middle school. I grew up with a big family, a busy house, always bustling. Mostly I loved that. Totally thrived on it. But now and then I had to be alone. Gather my thoughts. You know?”
“Totally.” Home seemed far away. She just wanted to listen to Jude.