“Well, Logan’s death took the stuffing out of me. I felt numb and disconnected. I just seemed to want to hibernate, so to speak. I wasn’t even real interested in the family and their goings on. That was unusual for me. I know I just wasn’t myself at all. I was so lost without Logan’s presence in my life. I didn’t want to talk about it and I didn’t want anybody’s sympathy.
I felt more at peace just hanging out at home by myself. I found comfort in that. I hadn’t been able to part with any of Logan’s things. I needed to keep them close by. They needed to remain as he had left them, and nothing was out of place. It’s like I almost convinced myself that he might be back to use them. He had always taken such good care of his things, and I felt that I had to carry that on. It took months before I was able to think about getting on with living.
Winter came and passed, as did Christmas with it, and we were getting into spring before I started coming round. The sun was getting stronger, and with the days growing longer, the spring flowers started to peek their heads above the warming earth. The bright coloured tulips and daffodils seemed to invite me outside to admire their simple beauty. The miracle of renewed life brought a change in me. You know, Mother Nature, she has a way of inspiring you without you even knowing. I guess it was seeing that my flowerbeds needed some love and tending to that got me going. I had found my purpose. Something needed me to love and nurture it. I guess I thought that I’d better get busy living, because I wasn’t ready to die yet.
Anyway, once I got going at weeding and fixing up my gardens, I took on a new attitude. It felt good to get outside to do something in the fresh air and sunshine. It made me feel good to see things coming to life again. All my wonderful flowers were beckoning me with the promise of beautiful blooms to enjoy in the summer months. I had always loved the bright blossoms and the fragrances that my gardens brought to me every summer. It must be the farmer in me. Ma had always loved that, too.
As spring moved forward and summer approached, I decided it was time for me to move forward myself. It was what Logan would have wanted for me. He had said so in our many conservations before he died. I knew how much he had loved me, and I also knew his last wish for me was to continue on, to enjoy my life, and be happy. So that was what I had to do!
It wasn’t easy being single and starting over again. I had been part of a couple for over fifty years, but there were other old widowed women around that I knew. I thought that maybe they could use my company, too. I still had my driver’s license even though I hadn’t driven much in those last few years. Logan and I had usually gone out together, and he did the driving. I would drive into town to get Jackie to do my hair and such, but that was about it.
I walked next door to the store and got most of my groceries. The boys still kept a good stock on hand. They were good to check up on me most days, too. Once in a while I would see someone I knew at the store, and I’d go over and have a chinwag with them to get caught up on all the local gossip. Other than that, I had stayed to myself all winter. Now it was time to get out more and drink in the fresh spring air.
My sister Eva called and invited me to a quilting bee. She had spent the winter sewing a new quilt top and it was time to put the quilt together. She said a bunch of the gals we knew were coming and thought I should come out to it. That was exactly what I needed, so out I went.
It turned out to be a great day. All the other gals there were old friends. We reminisced about our days of youth and crazy childhood adventures. Of course, Eva had lots to tell about me, as she had often been left in charge of me and the twins. She and my other sisters, Rose and Dawn, had never been the tomboy I had been, so she thought it was quite humourous to tell about all the scrapes I had got myself into. Anyways, it just felt good to laugh again. Even if it was mostly at my expense.
Eva and a couple of the other women were part of the seniors’ group in town at that time. The group was called “The Happy Gang”. They used to meet a couple of times a week for cards, dances, and other socials. They even planned trips and went on all sorts of excursions. Eva thought it would do me good to come out and take part in some of these events. I told her I’d have to do some thinking on it.
So, as I had promised Eva I would, I put some thought into it. I knew I needed to get out and socialize more. Isolation is what dulls a body’s mind. They say that’s what can cause dementia to set in. I decided to give Eva a call to find out what was on the agenda for “The Happy Gang”. She said that they were having a soup and sandwich luncheon in a few days, and my help was welcome, so out I went.
Well, that’s how it started. I joined up and was a member for twenty years. Turns out that that was exactly what I needed in my life. It gave me a reason to get going and get inspired again, and it provided me with better company than my own. Of course, I didn’t sign up for all the events going on, but I tried to take in a few things every week. There were other members living out my way, so we often took turns travelling together to the different functions.
I really enjoyed the soup and sandwich luncheons. We put them on monthly. They always brought out a big crowd. It gave me an opportunity to see many of the folks Logan and I knew. It was always a good social outing. I could always count on getting caught up on the local gossip and the latest goings-on in the community.
I loved helping out at the dances, too. I have always loved music. It soothes my soul. I very seldom ever danced. Nobody could ever replace Logan as my partner. We had been such a perfect couple on the dance floor together, but I liked to help with the refreshments. It was always a merry evening. Everyone was always in such good spirits, and it just seemed contagious.
Eva and I ventured out on a few of the bus trips that the group put together. Eva loved those trips. She often mentioned that it was great to have new scenery to view. She had not done much travelling before she had joined “The Happy Gang”. Each trip was like a huge adventure for her. She was always as giddy as a school girl when we headed off.
The first trip that we went on together was the Polar Bear Express ride. We took a bus to Cochrane. We spent the night at a motel and then caught the train early the next day and went to Moosonee on James Bay. There was a busload of us old folks. We all had a gas. It was great fun. We got back to the motel in Cochrane late that evening, then came home on the third day. I had thoroughly enjoyed myself. That was an adventure that Logan and I had thought about going on, but never got round to.
That fall Eva and I went on the Agawa Canyon trip. It was the same idea. We took a bus to Sault St. Marie, spent the night at a motel, and then took a train excursion through the Agawa Canyon to view the beauty of the coloured autumn leaves. It was really spectacular. We spent that night in a motel, and then came home on the third day. It was another fun adventure. It gave me lots to talk about.
The biggest adventure Eva and I shared was the bus trip we took to Memphis, Tennessee. “The Happy Gang” rounded up enough people to fill two buses. Imagine, two buses full of seniors heading to see Elvis Presley’s Graceland. What a hoot that was. Most of us had never been out of Canada before. Eva and I hadn’t. We were both so excited that we could hardly contain ourselves. I sure wish Logan could have gone with me on that trip. He had always been my travelling companion. I missed him dearly, but I knew in my heart he would have been very happy to know that I had gone.
We left at the end of May, and we were gone for nine days. We crossed the border at Windsor. It took three days to get to Tennessee. Eva and I enjoyed looking out the window taking in the scenery. It was quite comparable to our part of the world. We noticed that they were starting to take the hay off in parts of Kentucky. Wow. We never hayed before July.
We finally rolled into Memphis on Tuesday. We toured Graceland the next day. The house was monstrous and so extravagant. It was hard to fathom the sheer luxury. The exterior and grounds were just as beautiful. Breathtaking! I remember saying to Eva that I couldn’t even imagine the money it would have taken to construct the place, never mind maintain it. Eva commented that Elvis was the “King” of rock and roll, and kings have lots of money. Such a pity his life ended the way it did. A terrible demise it was.
We all purchased mementoes before getting back on the bus. The poor little gal in the gift shop must have felt bombarded by the herd of old giddy gals that day. We all had our favourite Elvis movie or song and wanted a souvenir to represent it. They made an “Elvis” everything. There was just so much to choose from.
On Thursday we headed to Nashville. We got to take in a show at “The Grand Ole Opry” and did a tour of Nashville. It was all so fascinating to a group of northern country folk. So historic! To think we got to go into the Ryman Auditorium where all the famous country singers sang and the show was broadcast from. We had listened to it on the radio for years. It was so surreal.
We headed home on Friday. The trip home seemed to go faster. Eva and I were exhausted. It had been a very busy schedule, and we found ourselves nodding off a lot. We pulled into town late on the Sunday evening. We had had such a great time. Eva and I talked about it a lot over the years, reliving all the fun we’d shared. It really was the highlight of all the trips we took together.
Well, I guess I have Eva and all my other friends from “The Happy Gang” to thank for helping to get me on the right track after Logan died. It was fun being part of such a busy group of people. It seems there was always something to do if you wanted to be involved, and you were always made feel welcome, and they really were a “happy” gang.”
“Oh, Gran, that’s wonderful,” Beth said. I’m glad Aunt Eva invited you to join “The Happy Gang”. It sounds like you had lots of fun and were able to keep busy doing the things you loved.”
“Yes, Beth, I was fortunate to have been able to stay so active into my old age. I think it kept my mind sharp and my body limber. Being a member of “The Happy Gang” gave me a purpose, and that’s important. There’s nothing worse than feeling isolated and alone. My family couldn’t have been any sweeter in their efforts to help me out and keep an eye on me, but it was invaluable staying involved with my own peers. They were at the same place in life as me, and we all just took care of each other.”