With Therese’s permission, Sophie organised for Eleanor’s and Charlotte’s luggage to be brought to the house under the watchful eye of Rose who was assigned to share a spacious room with Adele’s maid Josefine.
Countess von Hochstetten remained reserved towards her guests, especially the duchess, but soon enough she warmed to Eleanor when she realised that her intentions towards her niece were honourable.
What she couldn’t make sense of was Charlotte, who was just as charming as her mother but less self-conscious than the duchess. Therese knew her daughter, and it seemed that Adele was quite smitten with Charlotte. They spent so much time together that one could rightfully say they seemed to be joined at the hip. The countess only hoped that her daughter wouldn’t have to suffer much heartbreak when Charlotte returned to Vienna.
Sophie was getting better faster than anticipated under the constant and stern care of Eleanor. It was quite charming to watch them court each other. She hoped Sophie had finally found the love she so desperately longed for and deserved. Her niece wouldn’t be happy if she interfered, but she had to know for herself that the duchess was indeed as willing to be an active part in this relationship as Sophie.
“Your Grace,” Therese asked nervously as she entered the drawing room where she was certain to find Eleanor after luncheon when Sophie would take a short rest. “Do you mind if I keep you company?”
“Not at all.”
The duchess closed the book she had been reading and took off her glasses to put both on the small table next to her chair. She waited for the lady of the house to take a seat on the opposite wing chair and get what was bothering her off her chest.
“At the risk of sounding close to an overprotective mother hen or, worse, a terrible busybody, I want you to know I care very much for my niece. Ever since my sister’s death, Sophie has spent a lot of time with us, and I came to love her as my own daughter.”
“I am well aware of that,” Eleanor acknowledged with a slight dip of understanding. From the moment they had met, it was clear to Eleanor that the countess acted more as a parent than a mere relative, and it warmed Eleanor’s heart that her beloved was surrounded by such loving care.
“Well, yes, I appreciate that,” Therese mumbled, unsure how to proceed without hurting anyone’s feelings or inviting her niece’s wrath for being intrusive. She just had to be sure this was the right person for Sophie, not another Elisabeth von Meiningen.
“I simply want my niece to be happy and have the relationship she always wished for since she became aware that she loved women.”
“That is very thoughtful and enlightened of you. There are very few people who would share your sentiment.”
“I know. I know. It wasn’t always like that, I am afraid, but after a lot of reading and talking to both my niece and my daughter, I realised the notion of female companionship as a preparation for the marriage to a man is a misguided one. Being with a woman in every sense of the word is not less true or real than it would be with a man.”
Eleanor thought about Therese’s strange sort of blessing because that was what it was. She went to the window to view the garden where her daughter and Adele reclined on a blanket, laughing, and talking, under a huge protruding weeping willow. This conversation was not only about Sophie and herself she suddenly realised, but about Charlotte’s and Adele’s blossoming relationship as well. Because there was no doubt in her mind that her daughter was falling in love with the beautiful and sophisticated young woman with whom she was spending every waking hour. If the way Adele kept looking at Charlotte was any indication, Eleanor was convinced the feelings were reciprocated to the fullest.
“What do you want to know?” Eleanor asked, her back to Therese.
“You are married.”
It wasn’t a question. Eleanor knew this would be an issue, and how could it not be. “I am. Few people have the courage, position, or disregard for convention to live their lives in the way they want to. Henry is a re-mote cousin of mine. We have known each other since we were children, and strange as it may sound, I love my husband. I was never in love with him, mind you, but he has always been my best friend and confidante throughout my childhood years and beyond.”
“So, what does he think of this?”
Unbeknownst to them, Sophie entered the room and caught Eleanor’s last words.
“This is none of your business, Aunt.”
Sophie’s voice startled both women and they gazed towards the door to find an infuriated Sophie staring at her aunt.
Eleanor moved from the window to Sophie the moment she realised her love had joined them. She put a calming hand on Sophie’s arm. “It is quite all right, my darling.”
“It is not,” Sophie contradicted passionately. “She has no right to ask you such questions.”
“On the contrary. Your aunt loves you very much and cares for you. She has the right to know what sort of person her beloved niece has chosen.”
The door on the other side of the sitting room suddenly burst open, revealing two giggling young women who abruptly came to a halt when they realised. They looked at the tableau before them, from one face to the other, and must have immediately felt the tension in the room.
“I am sorry. We didn’t know anybody was in here.” Adele blushed furiously, her hand clutching Charlotte’s in silent support.
“Never mind,” Eleanor said in a soothing voice. “I suggest you two come in. Because I somehow suspect what I have to tell Sophie and your mother might interest you as well.” She glanced towards Sophie with a knowing smile.
Adele’s blush deepened further. She swallowed hard as if unsettled, but she held her head straight, her eyes never wavering.
Eleanor approved of what she saw, and she nodded appreciatively before she turned to Sophie again. “Why don’t we all take a seat and calm down before we continue our conversation?” She moved back to her chair and waited for everybody else to do so before she opened her mouth to start her tale only to be interrupted by Sophie.
“You don’t have to do this.”
“Yes, I do, and it’s time you know everything. I am not ashamed about the past, and this is something we haven’t talked about up ’til now. You not knowing caused the original misunderstanding between us, and I don’t want that anymore.”
“Very well then. Go on, please.”
Eleanor first gazed lovingly at her, then she let her eyes glide over to her daughter and her new friend who sat so close together you couldn’t really tell where one ended and the other began.
She took a deep breath and launched into her tale starting with her grandmother and her companion. She told about the first time she and Cathleen had met, their life together. How her marriage was one of friendship, safety, and freedom to live and love the one she desired. She left nothing out. The birth of her children, their upbringing with her lover’s help. Eleanor told them about the saddest time of her life when Cathleen fell terminally ill and died and the grief she couldn’t seem to overcome. And how very much more alive she felt since she met Sophie and fell in love again.
After this tour de force through her life, Eleanor fell back against her chair, exhausted from the emotional upheaval the memories had brought. There were tears in everybody’s eyes and a good amount of respect for the woman who had just exposed her heart to virtual strangers. Her own daughter hadn’t been aware of some of the aspects of her mother’s past.
Charlotte was the first to break the silence that fell over the room when her mother finished. She went to her mother’s chair and bent to whisper in her ear. “Thank you, Mama, for sharing this with us. I’m very proud of you.”
Eleanor laughed tremulously at Charlotte, her eyes watery as she looked at her daughter. “Thank you, darling.”
Charlotte gave her mother’s hand a reassuring squeeze before she held out her hand to Adele. You probably need some time alone, so Adele and I will be off.”
Therese said, “I have some household matters to attend to, so I shall also leave you.” She rose and followed the girls.
When the door closed behind them, Eleanor left her chair and sat next to Sophie who was completely silent and seemed deep in thought.
“Say something,” Eleanor urged her gently as she wrung her hands nervously in her lap. She was relieved when she felt Sophie’s hand softly covering her own. Lifting her gaze, she found those soulful brown eyes glancing at her with such tenderness and love, it nearly took her breath away.
“I love you, Eleanor, more than words could express.”
Sophie leaned in and gently brushed her full lips over Eleanor’s. She did so twice before Eleanor put both of her hands against her cheeks to hold her in place and deepen the kiss. They only pulled apart when breathing became an issue. Eleanor wouldn’t let go, though. She nuzzled into Sophie’s long dark hair which smelled of roses, summer, and something that was uniquely her beloved’s own scent.
“Stay with me tonight, darling,” Eleanor asked huskily, not wanting to rush Sophie, but she felt the need to be close to her, to hold her in her arms and be held. It had been so long since she had shared her bed with another woman, had felt the softness of the female body, the gentle touch and loving embrace.
“I would love to.”
Neither of them was quite ready for the next step in their relationship, but she couldn’t think of a place she would rather be tonight especially after these emotional revelations.
In the garden, back on the blanket under the willow tree, Charlotte and Adele were lost in their own thoughts. They had refused to give up their closeness, and Charlotte rested with her head in Adele’s lap while Adele softly stroked her hair. The motion nearly put Charlotte to sleep, and she closed her eyes in contentment.
Adele gently cleared her throat in order not to startle her. Charlotte lazily opened her eyes to gaze expectantly at her companion and wondered what was on her mind. Nothing was forthcoming, and Adele chewed uncertainly on her lower lip, avoiding Charlotte’s gaze.
“Tell me!” Charlotte urged.
Adele shook her head. Charlotte would leave all too soon and they probably would never see each other again. Nothing would come of this; Adele was no fool. Charlotte was the daughter of a duchess, sophisticated and used to moving in social circles way above her own. How could she entertain the idea of a meaningful relationship with her?
“I think I’m falling in love with you.” It burst out of her before she could stop herself. She closed her eyes, feeling the urge to run. When Charlotte sat up, Adele scrambled to her feet and took off toward the tree line.
She heard Charlotte calling, “Adele, wait!” But she didn’t wait; she kept on going, stumbling through the small forest until she suddenly felt a hand on her elbow.
“Would you please stop running?” Charlotte halted her escape, her hand firmly on Adele’s elbow, never losing her grip. “You gave me no chance to answer.”
“It is pointless anyway, isn’t it?”
“What is?”
“Me, falling in love with you.”
Charlotte cupped Adele’s cheeks in her hands and kissed her. Once, twice, running her tongue over Adele’s lower lip and seeking entrance, which was granted with a moan. They kissed until both ran out of breath and Charlotte, panting, leaned her forehead against Adele’s.
Charlotte whispered, “I think I am falling in love with you, too.”
“Love isn’t always enough.” Adele shook her head and freed herself from Charlotte’s arms. She kissed her cheek and returned to the house, leaving a confused Charlotte behind.
Eleanor had joined Sophie in the pavilion. They needed their emotions to settle down, and the best way to do that was by means of distraction, so she had asked Sophie to show her the most recent project. Just as Sophie was pointing out a very difficult passage in the manuscript she was currently translating, Eleanor saw Adele returning to the house. Her steps were determined; her chin set defiantly, but there was a storm raging in the young woman’s eyes. Eleanor had kept an eye on her daughter and Adele, and she had wondered what was going on when she saw them running into the forest. By the expression on Adele’s face, and the way they had grown fond of each other, Eleanor had a very good idea
what the heart of the matter was. She watched Adele march into the house before she decided to follow her.
“Where are you going?” Sophie frowned. The confusion on her face made Eleanor smile as she kissed the top of her head affectionately.
“I think I need to speak to your cousin.” She was stopped when Sophie grabbed her wrist.
“Come back, will you?”
“Of course.” She put her finger under Sophie’s chin and raised her head before gently kissing her on the lips. She smirked when Sophie kept her eyes closed with a dreamy expression on her face.
Adele had already gone to her room when Eleanor entered the house. She met a worried Therese at the bottom of the stairs. The countess clutched the banister in a vice-like grip, torn between motherly worry and her daughter’s need for solace.
Eleanor put a reassuring hand on her shoulder. “Allow me. I believe I know what is going on, and without trying to sound too presumptuous, I think I might understand better why she is so upset.”
“By all means,” Therese gestured up the stairs, indicating for Eleanor to do as she suggested.
Eleanor gathered her skirt to ascend the stairs to Adele’s room. After smoothing out her skirt fabric at the top of the stairs, she approached the closed door and rapped her knuckles gently against it.
“Who is it?” a muffled voice asked.
“Charlotte’s mother. May I come in?”
“If you must,” Adele answered sounding slightly annoyed.
Eleanor stepped through the door and found Adele at a desk by the window. Papers were strewn all over it. Books lay scattered on various chairs. The only place untouched by this creative chaos was the bed. She navigated to the bed and sat, waiting for Adele to start.
“What can I do for you, your Grace?” Adele swivelled in her chair and glared expectantly and a little defiantly at her guest.
“May I ask what you are working on?” Eleanor thought it best to take another route to conquer the problem at hand.
Adele was visibly surprised by the question and appeared completely stunned. “Just some silly essays nobody will ever read.” Adele waved her
hand over her desk indicating the mound of papers gathering there.
“About what?”
Adele tipped the end of her pencil against her lips, contemplating the question. “I don’t know whether to be truthful or not. Not a lot of women agreed with my viewpoints.”
“Try me. Perhaps I am more open to unconventional thoughts than you think. So, what are the essays about?”
“Women’s rights, the right to vote, and social issues.”
“Interesting. Would you mind discussing those issues with me?”
“You don’t have to be nice.”
Eleanor chuckled at the assessment. “I am not nice, let me assure you. If I wasn’t interested, I wouldn’t ask. I am not known to waste my time on things I do not care for.”
“All right. And why are you really here?” Adele finally asked, although she was certain she knew the answer already.
“What happened between you and my daughter?”
“We kissed,” Adele said bluntly. “I am falling for her, but I know it won’t ever be enough.”
“Why not?”
“Because it wouldn’t lead to anything. You’re going to leave rather sooner than later now, and I possess nothing I could offer to Charlotte. I have no means, unlike my cousin, no independent career whatsoever and let’s be honest, I’m merely the daughter of a country noble. Nothing grand. Charlotte is completely unobtainable to me.”
“Don’t sell yourself short, my dear.” Eleanor tried to admonish her gently.
“I am not. These are the simple facts. What could she possibly want with me? I am sure there are enough women in London who would gladly become Charlotte’s companion.”
“I suppose so. But if I know my daughter and I think I do, they hold no interest for her. You have a mind of your own, just as your cousin does, and I think that is what drew Charlotte to you in the first place. You are right of course. She does not lack female suitors, but none of them ever captured her quite the way you have.”
Adele stared into space, silently.
“The question is: are you willing to risk it and give your relationship a chance? I for one would be delighted to see my daughter happy with the woman she loves.”
Eleanor didn’t wait for a reply but simply stood and quietly left Adele to her thoughts. She hoped Adele would again find the courage she had shown over the last few days when pursuing Charlotte.
When she returned to the garden, Eleanor found Charlotte in deep conversation with Sophie, but she stopped speaking as soon as she saw her mother striding towards them.
“Well?” Charlotte asked anxiously.
“Give her time, darling. I believe she was a bit overwhelmed by her own courage. But my guess is that she’s going to surprise you again.”
“I hope you’re right, Mama.” Charlotte looked crestfallenly at her mother. Eleanor put her arm around her daughter’s shoulder. Charlotte let her head sink on her mother’s comforting shoulder. She giggled tremulously when she felt her mother deposit a kiss on her head.
“I am quite certain. You’ll see.”
True to her mother’s instincts, Adele asked Charlotte after dinner to take a walk with her in the garden so they could talk. Catching Eleanor’s encouraging gaze, they left the table eager to find themselves alone to speak.
The others retired to the drawing room for coffee. Therese handed Sophie and Eleanor theirs before she poured herself a cup. She observed her niece and her paramour carefully. They made quite a striking couple. The only drop of bitterness was that they couldn’t outwardly live the love they so obviously held for each other in the way they wanted. She sighed at this sad thought, causing her guests to peer at her questioningly.
“Are you all right, Aunt Therese?” Sophie asked, her voice full of worry.
“I’m fine, dear.”
“I meant to tell you I think it’s time to go back to Vienna next week.”
“Already?” Therese was disappointed. She loved having her niece around. But she knew Vienna was the place she needed to be right now. The same place her daughter would be for the time being until it was time for them to pack their things and leave Austria all together. She was no fool; she knew full well that Adele would follow Charlotte. It filled her with happiness that they both had finally found what they had so long searching for, but at the same time, she felt deeply saddened that she had to watch her daughter leave. London wasn’t that far away, and she could always visit, knowing she would be welcome. This somewhat eased her heavy heart.
Therese was stirred from her reverie when the door to the drawing room suddenly burst open followed by two giggling young women. Adele and Charlotte looked slightly flushed, and their hair was in distinct disarray. At least they had the grace to blush at their appearance.
“I am sorry.” Adele mumbled at the raised eyebrow she received from her mother and the knowing smile from her cousin.
“I hope not.” Eleanor smirked at their flustered faces.
“Mama!”
Eleanor rolled her eyes at her daughter’s indignant outburst. “Anyway, if you please, excuse me. I think I will go to bed. Good night.”
Sophie stood with her and followed her to the door. They stopped when they heard Charlotte sputter behind them.
“Are you two . . . you know . . . I mean . . .you can’t possibly . . .”
Eleanor said, “This, my darling daughter, is not any of your business. Good night!”
Eleanor’s voice brooked no argument. There was also a hint of hurt in it. Charlotte cursed herself for her stupidity. She hurried after her mother to apologise. Wasn’t that the purpose of the whole journey? For her mother to be with Sophie in every way? Charlotte embraced her mother tightly.
“I’m sorry, Mama. That was uncalled for.” She felt a weight being lifted from her shoulders when Eleanor returned the embrace.
“Good night, darling.”
Eleanor took Sophie’s left hand in her own, and together they left the room. At a moderate pace they climbed the stairs to their rooms, stopping in front of Sophie’s door to kiss slowly before Eleanor went to her own room. Both changed into their sleepwear, and when Eleanor heard a soft knock on her door, she permitted entrance without a second thought. She sat in front of the vanity brushing her hair as Sophie entered the room looking a bit insecure. Feeling her heart go out to her beloved, she put her brush down and held out her hand. Sophie stepped forward to take it and was enveloped in strong arms. She let go of her cane and wrapped her arms around Eleanor’s body.
Through their thin sleepwear she felt the heat of her skin and the curves of her womanly body pressing so deliciously against her own. Sophie put her head in the crook of Eleanor’s neck to inhale the scent of her hair and skin. It was intoxicating; she traced her lips along Eleanor’s throat to her chin until she found her lips in a passionate kiss that was broken far too soon for her liking.
Eleanor took a deep breath as she pulled away. Neither was ready for more; it was still too soon. She bent to pick up the cane and hand it to Sophie and caught the flicker of pain in Sophie’s eyes at the gesture. So she simply took Sophie’s hand to lead her to the bed where they sat on the edge.
“None of that embarrassment, please.” Eleanor took Sophie’s chin in her hand and turned her face towards her. “I will have none of that. I know who you are and this,” she pointed at the cane in Sophie’s hand, “doesn’t change what I feel for you.”
“But—”
“No. I won’t get tired of retrieving it for you. Nothing about you distracts from the beautiful woman you are.” Eleanor put her palm against Sophie’s scarred cheek to strengthen her point. “When we are ready to make love, I want to see all of you. I want you to feel comfortable to show me your body. Until then, I will make sure you believe me that I do desire you very much.”
“I do believe you,” Sophie objected softly.
“You might not yet entirely, but you will, my darling.” Eleanor kissed her again, putting everything she felt for her into that kiss. When they ended their kiss, they got comfortable in the large bed, wrapped into each other’s arms. With contentment on their faces, they fell asleep dreaming of the day they would finally become lovers in the truest sense of the word.