Forty-Two

 

The sun rose on my tears, but I kept my foot on the accelerator as my car drove north. Away from Aidan, though I ached for him still.

When I reached Mother's house, I was tired from my long drive and voluntary sleep deprivation. I dropped my bag in my room and trudged wearily to the kitchen, where she sat at the dining table, reading a book in the afternoon sun.

"You'll need to go to the chemist's to get a pregnancy test," Mother stated, not lifting her eyes from her book.

"Why, who needs one?" I asked.

"You," Mother answered. She closed her book and laid it on the table. "I thought you were going to wait until after you'd completed your studies to try for another child." She smiled as if she already knew what my answer would be. I wouldn't have been surprised.

"I received a particularly attractive offer that I found I didn't want to refuse." I hadn't yet dared to let myself hope that Aidan had given me a healthy child, though I would have traded everything for her. Maybe even him. I shook my head. Her hopes flew too high for me. "I don't even know if I can have another child. If I can...that will change everything." I stood, stunned, looking at a future in my mind that I hadn't foreseen.

Mother's smile grew wider. "What was it about him that made him so attractive?"

I couldn't help but smile in response. "He had fiery red hair. Everywhere." I shrugged, not wanting to discuss Aidan in detail with Mother. "It's only a few weeks until I finish my final exams. I'll take the test afterwards," I said, opening the fridge in search of a drink and a desperate change of topic. "Do we have any whiskey?"

"Whiskey?" Mother asked, looking up. "You can't drink that if you're carrying a child." She smiled again. "Your father had red hair, too."

"Oh." I closed the fridge and poured myself a glass of water instead. I'd left him only this morning, yet I missed Aidan's fire so much.

"What was the man's name?" Mother's eyes looked far away, into some memory of the past. Idly, I wondered if she'd ever loved a man as I did.

"Aidan," I replied.

"How was your practical experience in Albany?"

I smiled. "Highly educational."