Forty-Three

 

The pregnancy test sat in its plastic cover, while I waited the ten minutes that felt like ten times that. Time ticked away possibilities in my head.

Duty or freedom?

Love or loneliness?

Aching or Aidan?

Warmth or chill?

Back to the life I knew or the thrill of change?

A child or forever empty arms?

"Have you decided what you'll do next?" Mother asked, standing in the doorway.

I shook my head. "It all depends on the results of this."

Mother gave an understanding smile. She would advise me, but we both knew the decision was mine alone.

"You know what will happen if he discovers your secret," she began. Her tone held warning. "You know what you may have to do."

"If I'm carrying his child, the decision is out of my hands," I replied firmly.

"And if you cannot conceive a child?"

A tear slid down my cheek, but I remained resolute. "Then I will make my choice. And I might not choose to return home with you, Mother."

She gave a solemn nod and I knew she understood.

"The men I loved both died. It's a hard decision to make."

I remembered the moment the aching started – when I left Aidan's bedroom. It hadn't ceased since. My lips longed for his, my fingers itched to stroke him and my breasts ached to be held in his hands once more. My tongue burned for the fire on his.

Oh, Aidan...what I'd give to be back in your arms tomorrow. Destiny be damned.

The timer trilled and Mother graciously left me alone. My time was up.

I picked up the plastic test, pressing my lips together as I peered down to see what it said.