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The next morning as I get ready for school, I rehearse everything I’m going to say to my friends. Guys, remember how I was hired at the music shop? Well, Jax’s family owns it, and his mom was sick, but she seems okay now and...and...why did this sound so lame?
First period is chemistry, which is way too much thinking for that early in the morning. I do, however, take my studies seriously, so when Gracie keeps poking me and asking how the first day went, I brush her off saying I’ll tell her at lunch.
Second period English wasn’t much better since Alyssa is in there and prodding me with the same questions.
By the time lunch comes around, I know they are both suspicious of me. I take my time getting my food and sitting down and making a big show of putting the napkin on my lap.
“Alright, it’s time you spill,” Gracie says. “You’ve been acting weird ever since you got that job.”
There’s really no subtle way to go about this, so I blurt it out. “Take5’s Jax owns the music store.”
Alyssa spits out her water, and bits of it even dribble out her nose. Gracie freezes with her fork in the air, a bit of vegetables sliding off.
“I’m sorry,” Alyssa says, recovering first. “What did you just say?”
“He’s the one who hired me,” I answer. “I even had a conversation with him last night.”
“And?” Gracie asks, her tone eager.
“His mom was sick, but I think she’s better now. Something else is holding Jax from going back. Guys, we have to help him.”
Alyssa sets down her water bottle, brushing her dark bangs from her eyes. “I think you mean you have to help him.”
“I have no idea what to do!” I say. “You saw how he reacted when I recognized him before.”
Gracie laughs. “Of course, because you were chasing him like a rabid fangirl!”
“I am a rabid fangirl,” I counter.
“But he won’t listen to you if you act like one.” Alyssa grows serious.
She was right, but that didn’t make what I needed to do any easier.
“But guys...I’m scared.” I put my head in my hands. “I mean, it’s Jax. I’m already shy, and he’s like this huge amazing thing to me. I can barely string three words together in front of him.”
I look up, but neither of my friends make eye contact with me.
Gracie stabs at her meat. “I guess there’s nothing you can do, then.”
“What do you mean?” I say. “I have to do something.”
Gracie slowly turns her head, expression firm. “If you really want something, you have to make it happen. No one else will do it for you.”
Alyssa nods her assent, picking at her food. I slump back into my seat, wishing there was some other way, but no matter how much I think about it, the answer is clear. If I want to help Jax, I have to step out of my comfort zone.
***
When I show up at work, I expect to have some time to pull myself together. But as soon as I’m in the parking lot I spot Jax with his mom.
I go to my group chat with Gracie and Alyssa and send them a message. Jax is here, what do I say?
Gracie answers first. Just ask him how he is.
I leave my van and hear one more ping, this time from Alyssa. I think you’re forgetting Jax is an extrovert. Encourage him a little, and who knows what he’ll say.
I let out one short laugh. She’s right about that, and it gives me an idea. Mission get-to-know-Jax is about to commence.
“Hello,” I chirp, opening the door wide and heading right into the lion’s den. “How are both of you today?”
“We’re great,” Penny says. “Glad to see you’re in a good mood.”
“I’m just excited to be at work,” I say. It’s not a total lie. I am happy to be there with Jax.
“Well,” Penny continues, “I guess that means I can go.”
“Should I come with you?” Jax asks.
“Actually,” I butt in, “I wanted Jax’s help with something.”
“Oh?” Jax raises an eyebrow.
Penny gives her son a pat on the shoulder. “I was going to say no, anyway. I need to run some errands.”
Jax pouts. “I see how it is.”
Penny furrows her brow. “Hey, I’m just trying to protect you. Remember what happened last time?”
Jax hangs his head. “Yes. I’ll stay here.”
I don’t realize how hard I’m wringing my hands until I accidentally crack a knuckle. Neither of them say it, and I don’t want to be obvious, but I can tell this conversation is about Jax being out in public. He comes and goes from his house, but I sense the real reason I’m working here is so Penny can do things without feeling guilty about leaving Jax out.
Jax kisses his mom on the cheek and says something to her in Chinese. She smiles and squeezes his hand. Jax’s eyes get all big and puppy dog like when he looks at her and it’s really adorable. And to think she was sick. That thought hurts more than the others.
“So what do you need?” Jax says to me before his mom is out the door.
“Um...” I say, wondering if I can pull this off. “It’s not really work related.”
He shrugs. “That’s okay. It’s not like I have a lot going on.”
I bite my lip, still fighting my shyness. Gracie’s words play in my head, and I steel myself, determined. I am going to do this. I must.
“Well...” I swallow louder than I mean to. “I already play the trumpet, but I was thinking of picking up a second instrument, and I was hoping you could help me figure something out.”
Yeah, not my brightest moment. Jax doesn’t really play any instruments, so what possessed me to go this route, I have no idea.
“Seriously?” he says. “I’d be honored.”
My eyes have gone so wide I feel like they might pop out of my skull. “What?”
“Yeah, that sounds awesome. Something else brass? Or strings? What about wind instruments?”
His excitement is just too precious.
“Um,” I say. I hadn’t thought this far. I figured I’d strum a few notes on a guitar and call it good. I don’t actually want to play a new instrument, I just want Jax’s company.
“Let’s try the piano first,” Jax offers, eager to fill the silence.
He waves me over, standing near the baby grand in the corner. I’m timid as I make my way to him, hands shaking.
“Just play with it for a minute,” he says. “Get a feel to see if you like it.”
I don’t know how to tell him I’ve sat at plenty of pianos, and it’s not really for me, but I plunk out Chopsticks anyway, which makes him laugh.
His laugh is the most beautiful sound in the world. He totally commits to it without reservation, every time. Some might think it goofy, but not me.
“Okay,” he says, “not the piano.”
He thrusts a ukulele in my arms next. I pick and pluck, but I have no idea how to make chords on it, so it comes out wonky.
“Nope.” He rips it from me and puts it back.
He crosses the room and removes a saxophone from the wall. “Ever tried a woodwind?”
I shrug as he gives it to me. I have a better idea of how sounds are made on this one, but I know my breathing is all wrong, and it comes out squeaky.
“That’s okay,” Jax says. “We’ll figure this out.”
I’m not sure how he thinks I’ll play anything well without having practiced, but it’s fun to try all these instruments.
“I know what it is,” he says, pointing to the corner opposite the piano.
“The drums?” I respond. That’s Alyssa’s thing, so I’ve never tried them.
He bobs his head. “Yeah, I think you’d look really good behind a drum kit.”
Oh my goodness, did he just say I’d look good? My body turns to autopilot, my feet carrying me to the drum kit without being aware of what I’m doing. I pick up the drumsticks and look at the circles in front of me. What kid hasn’t wanted to bang on a set when they had the chance?
This isn’t my first time sitting behind one of these, but it was a miserable failure each time I tried. Still, I know a thing or two more about music than I did back then.
I put my foot on the petal to the big drum and hit it. I don’t want to start hitting random drums, so I test each one for the sound. Then I hit one of the cymbals and the big drum at the same time. I switch to tapping the cymbal and the little drum closest to me, then I do that a few more times, enjoying the beats. It doesn’t sound great, but I’m enjoying myself.
“Wow,” Jax says. “I think this instrument chose you.”
I set down the drumsticks. “That wasn’t that great.”
“It’s your first time playing, right?”
“Yeah.”
“I could tell,” he says, stroking his chin, “because it sucked.”
“Thanks a lot,” I answer, my voice dripping sarcasm.
“Seriously, though,” he says, “no one is going to play an instrument perfect the first time. It’s the way your face lit up when you were doing it.”
Did someone turn on the heater directly to my face? Because it feels uncomfortably hot. I wish I could keep eye contact with him because the look he just gave me is really sweet, but I can’t help the way my body reacts. Ugh, I’m such a derp.
The little bell dings on the door, and Jax runs to the storage room at the back of the shop. There’s really nothing back there, so he must’ve gone to hide.
What would it be like to constantly worry someone is going blow your cover? I have to pull myself together and be there for Jax. Nerves or not, I would figure out how to help Jax, no matter what it took.
The Decision