As soon as I can took way longer than Asher would have liked. An EMT from a second ambulance ruled out smoke inhalation issues for Asher and Ruth, but they weren’t able to leave right away. The fire captain had all sorts of questions. Ruth clammed up, shaking her head whenever someone asked her if she knew what happened. Asher assured the captain they’d participate in any investigation. The drive to their town house seemed to take forever. Ruth was quiet in the back seat. Way too quiet.
“Ruthie, talk to me. I know that was stressful. And you need to be somewhere way more soothing than an emergency room. Do you want to go to Uncle Caleb’s house—Garnet’s at home—or come to the ER with me? You might have to sit by yourself for a bit when I first see Maggie.”
“I want to come with you. I want to see Maggie, too. But...but...” She sniffled. “The fire was my fault!”
He almost drove off the road. Catching the wheel before he yanked it past the point of no return, he slowed the car and pulled to the shoulder of the residential street. He turned in his seat to look at his daughter. “Say that again?”
“The fire was my fault.” She buried her face in her hands.
His breathing picked up, and he worked to steady it. “How?”
“The—the heater.”
“Like, the thermostat?”
She shook her head. “No, that black b-box heater that you had to dry the p-paint on the cupboards. Jackson was cold and Maggie said I could use it, so I p-plugged it in with the yellow cord and turned it on. And I fell asleep on the couch, and it was b-behind me, and I didn’t n-notice it was on fire.”
Oh, hell. He’d heard those things were notoriously flammable... “I fell asleep, too, honey.”
How could he have done that when his daughter had been in such a state? Guilt razed his gut. He got out of the car and into the back seat and held Ruth for ten minutes while she cried over her trauma. Jackson, propped awkwardly beside them, stuck his nose in the middle of their hug and whined.
“Ruthie, you couldn’t have known. It’s okay. No one’s going to blame you. I promise.”
“What if Maggie’s mad at me?”
“She won’t be. She meant it when she said she loves you.”
He’d gotten the impression she’d meant it when she said she loved him, too. He was counting on that truth.
After taking another minute or two to make sure Ruth was calm, he drove the rest of the way home where he secured the dog in his crate.
The five-minute drive to the hospital was excruciating. He jogged toward the hospital’s emergency entrance, Ruth’s hand tucked in his. Maggie had been alone for way too long, unless her brother had been notified—
“Hey! Matsuda!”
Asher jolted to a halt. Speak of the devil. He turned and waited for Lachlan to catch up with him. Ruth buried her face against his shirt, and he palmed the back of her head, supporting her.
“I hear my damned barn just burned down.” The man put a hand on Asher’s shoulder. “Thank God you all got out. You okay there, Ruth?”
Ruth shrugged, still hiding from the world.
Asher sent Lachlan a look. The other man nodded, seeming to get the message that Ruth was overwhelmed. Lachlan jerked his head and started off toward the emergency entrance again.
Asher hitched a step to catch up. “Did you come from the clinic?”
“No, I came from home. The sheriff called.” They walked through the two sets of automatic doors. “I wanted to check on my sister first. Ream her out for running in after...what? A backpack, Rafferty tells me?”
Asher swore under his breath. More like running after the childhood Maggie’d never had. “Something like that.”
The emergency waiting area was a long, narrow room with plastic chairs and terrible-smelling coffee. A nurse looked up from her desk as they entered.
“Maggie’s in three, Lachlan,” the nurse said. “Dr. Matsuda’s in with her. You can go in as soon as he gives the all clear.” She studied Asher carefully. “Dr. Matsuda’s your brother, right?”
“Yeah,” he answered. And thank God Caleb was on shift. Damn, Asher needed a hug. With Maggie in no shape to be his support system, his older brother would do just fine.
“How’s Maggie?” Asher croaked.
“Just because you’re related to the doctor doesn’t mean I can give you patient information, hon,” the nurse said sympathetically.
“What about me?” Lachlan asked.
The nurse sighed. “I’ll say this—in serious smoke inhalation or burn cases, protocol is to transport the patient to Bozeman. And as I’m sure you heard on your SAR scanner, Lachlan, no helicopters or ambulances have been dispatched. Now, sit tight for a few minutes, and you’ll be able to go in.”
“Thanks, Cath,” Lachlan said.
Chest clenching, Asher dropped into a chair, pulling Ruth into his lap in an awkward embrace.
Lachlan sat down, too, leaving one chair empty between them. He gripped Asher’s shoulder. “I’m glad it’s quiet. I have a couple of questions.”
“It’s never actually quiet in the emergency ward,” Asher muttered. How his brother managed his on-call shifts at the hospital, he didn’t know. He dug in his pocket and extracted some change. He pointed toward a set of vending machines out in the hallway. “Ruthie, how about you go get yourself a snack?”
“Okay.” She shuffled off and stared at the choices with her usual careful thought.
Lachlan leaned in and whispered, “So it was seriously your kid’s backpack?”
“Long story,” Asher said, keeping his voice low, too. Nerves shivered up his spine. Ruth may not have knowingly caused the fire, but she’d still contributed to it. Admitting that to the man who’d been dealt a blow to his business plans sucked. “You’re going to want to talk to whoever set up your sprinkler system—it didn’t come on.” He took a deep breath. “Ruth told me in the car ride over that the space heater malfunctioned—”
“You’re kidding me.” Maggie’s brother collapsed against his chair, tanned face paling.
Asher shook his head. “Ruth said she plugged it in to an extension cord. I’m so damned sorry—”
“She didn’t plug it in to the extension cord. It was already plugged in. Maggie and I had both used it.” Lachlan groaned. “And the sprinklers not coming on—the plumber had been there earlier in the day but didn’t finish the job. Left the water off.” He let out a low curse. “This could have ended so, so much worse. Your kid or you, or if Ryan hadn’t gotten to Maggie... Hell, even your dog.”
It was Asher’s turn to squeeze Lachlan’s shoulder. “Let’s just be thankful rather than go down any of the ‘what could have happened’ trails, yeah?”
“Yeah.” Lachlan scrubbed his hands down his face before peering at Asher. “I’m assuming if my sister’s running into burning buildings for mementos, she’s in pretty deep with you.”
Asher’s heart skipped a beat. “I hope so.”
“Freaking finally,” Lachlan muttered. He clapped Asher on the back. “When we get the all clear, I’ll wait out here. You go in first.”
“Ruth’s too shaken up to be alone, I think. She thinks she’s responsible.”
Ruth returned to Asher’s side, holding a packaged Rice Krispies square. She regarded Lachlan warily as she fiddled with the blue wrapper.
“Sweetheart—” Lachlan rested his elbows on his knees and fixed Ruth with a gentle, genuine smile “—this wasn’t your fault, okay? It was mine.”
Metal curtain rings zinged on a rod, and Caleb rushed out of the cubicle.
“Is Maggie—” Asher’s throat closed over.
“She’ll be okay,” Caleb said, hurrying toward them. “And am I glad to see you.”
“Uncle Caleb!” Ruth ran to her uncle, who gathered her in a tight squeeze.
Asher’s brother’s haggard expression matched the accumulated stress that had been building in Asher since he first smelled smoke. He joined his brother and daughter, leaning into the family hug.
“Mom’s going to lose her mind,” Caleb said quietly. “Dad, too.”
“We’re all fine. You’re sure Maggie’s okay? I need to talk to her,” Asher said.
“She needs to rest—I want to observe her for a few more hours and get another lung X-ray before I spring her. But she’s been asking for you. Ruth can stay with me if you want a couple minutes alone.”
“I do.” Asher glanced at Lachlan. “That okay?”
Lachlan held up his hands. “She’s asking for you, man.”
Asher cocked a brow. “I might be a while. I’m a book nerd with a penchant for singing my feelings. Being concise isn’t my forte.”
Lachlan chuckled. “Take your time. Maggie’s been waiting many a year for a guy who’s worth her time. I’m not going to be the one to steal away her romantic moment.”
Let’s hope that’s what this will be. Maggie had seemed super sincere when she’d said she loved him. And that was a huge step for her. Would she want to do anything about it? But his heart was still bruised from her walking out earlier tonight—he couldn’t take it if she retreated again.
Maggie poked at the cannula in her nose with a bandaged hand and sighed. She was alone. Dang it. This is what happens when you push everyone away. They eventually get the message.
No. Asher had said he’d be here. She had to believe that. She was just about to press her call button to ask if someone could call her brother or Emma when a hand nudged the curtain aside.
Asher slipped into the cubicle. His tired gaze took in the cramped space, stalling on the oxygen tank and the vital signs monitor and settling on the dressings on her wounded hands. “Holy crap, Maggie.”
He came over to the bed and perched on the edge. And somehow, despite the tubing and wires and bandages, he managed to hold her. She melted against him. His shirt was still a little damp from the sleet, and his hair stuck up as if he’d been standing in front of a wind turbine.
“Think you have any pull with Caleb? I want to go home,” she said. Caleb had told her to whisper, but not being able to speak at normal volume had made her question come out like a toddler’s whine.
“Hell no. You’ll stay until he decides your lungs aren’t going to fill with fluid.”
She sighed. “It’s not that bad.”
He stiffened. “It isn’t? Breathing is kinda necessary. And what about your hands?”
“They’ll heal.”
Releasing her, he eased into the chair next to the bed and rested his fingers on her forearm. “It wasn’t worth those letters, you know.”
Okay, so Maggie had been rash. But making sure Ruth didn’t lose her connection to her dad? It was worth a whole lot. “You didn’t have copies.”
“Who cares?”
“I couldn’t let her lose that part of Alex. He mattered too much.”
He pressed his fingertips against his eyelids, pushing his glasses up to his forehead. “Maggie, the best parts of Alex can’t be lost. They live on in Ruth.”
The words landed with a blow. She would have reeled back had she not been reclined on the angled bed. She’d always been so focused on how her parents had affected her in a negative way, she forgot sometimes that positive traits could be passed on, too. Was it the same with her parents? Were there any parts of her that reflected them? Her dad’s tenacity, maybe. And her mom’s ability to keep a bunch of balls in the air at once...
“You know what we did almost lose, though?” Asher’s voice teetered on menacingly low. His fingers tightened on her arm. “You.”
“You didn’t.”
“You passed out. In a fire. Had the sheriff not gone in—The firefighters were a minute behind him. What if...?”
“I know,” she whispered. Knowing she owed Ryan Rafferty her life sat crazy wrong. How was she supposed to dislike him when he’d done something so selfless? But more importantly—had he not, had the firefighters taken longer to get to her, would she have been burned worse? Or succumbed to oxygen deprivation?
Oof. Nothing like almost dying to remind a girl she didn’t want to die. And that she really wanted to spend her life with the man sitting next to her with a sexy beard and a jaw clenched so hard he was probably close to chipping a tooth.
“How did you burn your hands?” he asked.
She went to put her right hand over his where it gripped her left arm, but she could only rest it there. Her fingers were immobilized. Frick. It wasn’t going to be easy to work over the next while. And training the Lab puppy due to arrive soon—so much for that. “A piece of scrap lumber fell in front of me as I was crawling out. I pushed it out of the way.”
A garbled protest escaped his lips.
“I’m sorry,” she said weakly.
“Yeah, well, so am I. You were reckless, and I can’t even handle that. But you’re hurt. And I feel awful for being pissed off. But I am. So damn angry.”
She blinked in surprise. “You are? You don’t seem it.”
“I’m a hell of an actor when I’m in a hospital, Maggie. I had months of pretending I was calm when I was sick to my stomach about losing the love of my life. And now I found you, and was starting to think I might just be lucky enough to have a second chance, and this happens?” Digging his hands into his hair, he flopped against the back of his chair and swore. “I can’t lose someone else.”
Her throat threatened to close over. From fear instead of the smoke inhalation, not that it was a better option. She sucked in a breath. “Right. I—of course. That makes sense.”
He narrowed his eyes. “What makes sense?”
She loved this man so much. And she’d managed to remind him of the terrible price of love, and now he wasn’t going to want to risk it. Right when she’d figured out her feelings, and that she was ready to take the leap. “That you wouldn’t want to be with me.”
“When did I say that?” Disbelief warred with the exhaustion lining his mouth.
“You didn’t need to. I screwed up. This afternoon, with leaving, and then with the fire... I get it.”
“Oh, love. You don’t.”
Hope leaped in her soul. “You’re okay with this?”
“With you running into a fire? God, no. But with loving you? Obviously. Affection isn’t a balance sheet. Not in a healthy relationship anyway. We’ll make mistakes, miscommunicate. You’ll even risk your life, apparently, though I could do without that one again.”
She chuckled, wincing as the sound strained her tender throat. Talk about feeling like the worst case of strep ever. “First and last time I pretend to be the fire department. Promise.”
Ah, crud, her search and rescue buddies were going to give her no end of grief for this. Rule one was never undergo a rescue unless it was safe for the rescuer.
She watched him scan her bandages and tubes, trying to figure out how to get close. In the end, he pulled his chair as near to the bed as he could and rested one hand on her abdomen and one on her elbow. “Your brother’s in the waiting area. He’s taking it pretty well, but still...”
“Oh dear.” She shut her eyes, concern trickling into her belly. She’d been so worried about Ruth’s letters and Asher’s reaction, not to mention getting hauled out of a blazing building by her sister’s ex-boyfriend, that she hadn’t had time to process the impact on Lachlan’s business. “Do they know what happened?”
Asher scrunched up his face in sympathy and gave her a short explanation involving the plumber, a space heater and an unnecessarily contrite ten-year-old. “A comedy of errors. Except it’s not funny at all.”
“We have insurance,” she assured him. Her voice weakened with each word. She really should stop talking, but too much needed to be said. To him and Ruth. And thanking her brother and friends for delivering her a well-deserved kick in the rear earlier today, making her realize it was time to move beyond her past and find love with people who actually loved her back.
Had she figured out her crap earlier, they might have avoided a near tragedy.
Her eyes stung. Her poor brother. Just because they had insurance didn’t mean he wouldn’t be broken up about the fire. “We can fix the damage,” she said, for her own sake as much as Asher’s.
He rubbed a circle on her stomach and reached up with his other hand to stroke her cheek. “This is devastating, Maggie. There’s no need to pretend otherwise.”
“It’s not pretending. It’s...moving forward from something awful.”
A smile flickered on his weary lips. “Maybe it’s time to apply that to the rest of your life, too. You can’t control how your parents or your ex-boyfriend treated you. But you can decide to live fully despite them.”
Warmth—truth—flooded her bones. “Yeah, I can.”
Happiness spread from his lips to encompass his whole face. “You won’t regret it. Loving someone... Building a life with them... It’s pretty damned awesome. Even with the painful parts.”
She breathed in courage and nodded.
“You and your family are going to have to rebuild, and I want to be there with you through it,” he said. “I just want the chance to love you. Will you let me?”
“It’s not about the two of us, though. It’s about the three of us. We need to have this conversation with Ruth, too. If we’re going to commit, I want to hear from her that she’s good with it.”
He nodded and slipped out of the curtain, and a minute later Maggie’s arms were full of tearful girl.
“Shh,” she soothed, stroking Ruth’s hair with the hand not hooked up to monitors and IVs. “Baby, shh. All’s well.”
“I’m sorry.” Ruth’s words were muffled against Maggie’s neck.
“Me, too. I’m sorry I scared you and your dad, and I’m sorry I was too scared to be brave about loving you two. I... I was worried that if we got to the point where your dad and I were talking about forever, that I’d fail you. That I’d be a crappy mom. You had a pretty great Papa, and I wanted to be sure I lived up to his example.”
“You’d be the best mom,” Ruth mumbled. She jerked to sitting, eyes wide. “I mean, if you want to. If you and Dad were talking about that. About forever and stuff.”
Maggie smiled. Her eyes got wet again, but she didn’t bother trying to wipe away the moisture. “I don’t think we’re quite ready for rings, yet. But you’re okay with the idea that we might get there?”
Ruth nodded. She unclenched her fist and produced a folded sheet of loose leaf. She carefully flattened it. One side was a fill-in-the-blanks worksheet on the parts of a plant cell. The other was covered in slanted, blue script. The work of a man who’d been trying to record his thoughts during his lunch hour or preparatory time, no doubt.
Ruth held it out to Maggie.
Asher drew in a sharp breath and took the sheet. “Maggie’s thumbs are out of commission for a couple days, peanut. I’ll hold it. Where’s the important part?”
Ruth pointed at the start of a sentence about halfway down the sheet.
Stay open to love. Don’t let your pain stop you from enjoying all the minutes you’re given. If you follow in my footsteps in one way, Ruthie, let it be that one.
“He said it to me, but if he was here, he’d say it to you, too,” Ruth insisted.
A sob racked Maggie’s chest. Oh, man. Having Ruth and Asher share their past and invite her into their future was too much to handle. But she was done questioning it. If they were willing to give it, then she was clearly worthy to receive it.
Ruth’s eyes widened to stricken. “Are you okay?”
“Yeah,” she rasped. “You’re treating me like family. I’m not used to that. Or I told myself I wasn’t anyway. Because my brother, of course, and Marisol and the baby, and Emma and Garnet and Caleb—” Her life was full. She already had a chosen family, and she wanted to add Asher and Ruth. It was time to focus on returning all that love rather than mourning the love she’d never get from her parents. Her future could be more than animals and lonely nights. It could be spending years and years laughing with and loving these two precious people.
She looked at Asher. His eyes were damp behind his glasses. Unable to touch his face or hands and connect in the way she craved, she smiled. “Family first, right? Can that—can it include me, too?”
He brushed her hair back and kissed her forehead. “It already does.”