Chapter Six

The drink with Dan turned into two, albeit soft ones, as they were both driving. At first they stood up at the bar. Then they ordered chips and a burger apiece and found a quieter spot to eat.

‘I love this,’ Dan said, once they’d eaten and the plates had been taken away. ‘You and me.’ His voice was so low it came out as a whisper.

Sam looked away as his gaze made her insides flip again. She pretended to be more interested in the chalk menu behind the bar. Why was this so wrong if she felt like this?

Dan reached across the table for her hand and gave it a squeeze. Sam checked her watch and gasped.

‘Crikey, it’s nearly nine o clock. Where did that time go?’

‘Time always goes quickly when you’re having fun.’ Dan rubbed his thumb back and forth across the top of her wrist. ‘We could always grab a coffee at mine, if you like?’

Sam gulped. She knew she’d walked right into that. Dan was fabulous company. He laughed in the right places, never mentioning Reece, only to figure out the minor details. He’d even kept his lips to himself. She hoped she hadn’t led him on, just because she wanted to be with him.

‘I can’t,’ she replied, regret clear in her tone.

‘I know,’ he realised. ‘It’s just that it’s so hard to leave you. I’ve ached to kiss you again. I’ve thought about you constantly since Monday. You have too, haven’t you? Thought about me?’

Sam nodded.

‘There’s a spark between us.’

‘We barely know each other.’

‘That’s true, but you can’t deny it.’

‘But there shouldn’t be!’ Sam pulled her hand away. ‘Can’t you see what you do to me?’

‘If you were happily married, you wouldn’t be here.’

‘You’re right.’ Sam stood up then. ‘But it’s because I’m married that I can’t see you again. I’m sorry.’

They were silent for a moment amidst the general noise from the pub.

‘You do understand why?’ she asked.

Dan sighed. ‘Unfortunately, I do. But it only makes me want you more – because you’re so warm-hearted.’

Sam couldn’t help but grin.

As they made their way back to their cars, Dan grabbed her scarf, pulled her towards him and kissed her briefly on the lips. The lightness of his touch made her cheeks burn.

‘Go,’ he said, ‘before I change my mind.’

Sam’s feet refused to move for a few seconds before her brain engaged. With reluctance, she got into her car and drove away.

Once back in the safety of her home, Sam raced up to have a shower. Unable to wash away the feel of Dan’s hand on hers, his lips on her cheek, she stayed under the water for a long time. Tears of frustration stung her eyes and she squeezed them shut to stop them falling. Spending time with him made her realise what a sham her marriage was. No wonder Reece worked away; wanted to spend time in Germany, under the guise of earning some extra cash. It shocked her to think how easily she could have been led astray. She knew as much as Dan that the invitation wasn’t just for coffee. If she’d gone home with him, she wouldn’t have been able to resist him.

Was her relationship – her marriage – to Reece in that much of a mess? Maybe she needed to spend her time thinking about that rather than Dan Wilshaw.

Changed into pyjamas, hair still wet, it was ten thirty when there was a knock on the front door. She peered through the living room window to see Dan on her doorstep.

Shit!

She let him in. Without a word, he pulled her into his arms.

‘I can’t help myself,’ he whispered before his lips were on hers.

Sam found herself responding before she had time to think. Dan’s hands inside her top, she gasped at the touch of his fingers on her bare skin. His lips moved over her neck and down towards her chest. Her hands found their way into his shirt.

Dan stepped away then and she realised he was giving her the space to change her mind.

You have to stop said the voice within her head, but she ignored it. Right now, Sam didn’t care about Reece. It was all about her and Dan.

She bit down hard on her lip as his hands explored her body. Dan Wilshaw was making her moan in ecstasy … ohhh.

‘No, please!’ She pushed him away.

Dan paused with a look of concern. ‘Are you okay?’

She shook her head. ‘I’m sorry,’ she said. ‘I can’t. I just can’t.’

‘But I thought you wanted to.’

‘I do – I did! Oh, I don’t know. I feel so mixed up.’

Ten minutes later, Sam sat alone in the living room. She’d switched off the main light, the glow of the gas fire the only light she needed. It made her feel scared, vulnerable. But more than that, she was scared by the intensity of her feelings.

What the hell had gone on back then? It was one thing to want to be kissed by someone else, to want a show of affection, but to let another man touch her, make love to her? No, that was wrong. How could she have done that to Reece? She’d always prided herself in being a good girl and had laughed along with Louise – not at Louise – about her colourful antics since her marriage collapsed. But she had never, ever – even in her wildest dreams when she was so pissed off with Reece that she didn’t want to be in the same room as him – thought that she would come so close to sleeping with another man while she was with him.

And what would have happened afterwards? There would have been no going back. Things like that couldn’t just be swept under the carpet. It wasn’t a mistake. It would have been a decision that had consequences.

Sam pulled her knees up to her chest and hugged herself as the tears fell. She had never felt so lonely in her life.

Louise and Nicci were on the stall before Sam the next morning. As was usual some mornings, Sam was coming in late after catching up on paperwork back at the house. Louise, spotting her chance to skive after the morning rush had gone, was moaning to Nicci about Charley’s recent behaviour. Since they’d fallen out, Charley had spent every spare minute she was at home upstairs in her room.

‘Maybe you need to be more forceful with her,’ Nicci said, grabbing the opportunity to dunk a chocolate biscuit in her coffee while there was a lull in customers. ‘Charley needs boundaries. You let her get away with murder at times.’

‘She’s fifteen!’ Louise retorted. ‘You should try setting boundaries with someone that age. She has a mind of her own. I tell her to do one thing and she goes and does another.’

‘Hmm,’ smiled Nicci. ‘Sounds like someone else I know. Like mother, like daughter, obviously.’

‘That’s precisely the reason I’m worried about her,’ Louise agreed, grabbing a chocolate bar and tearing off its wrapper. ‘She seems really upset about something. The other night, I sat outside the bathroom door for fifteen minutes after she’d stormed off in a huff but she still wouldn’t come out and talk to me.’

‘I don’t see why you think she would. You wouldn’t have said anything to Mum when you were fifteen.’

‘But it’s different nowadays, isn’t it?’ She bit into the chocolate bar before replying. ‘Daughters trust their mums with more information. They go shopping together, they lunch together. They—’

‘Since when have you two ever lunched together?’ Nicci raised her eyebrows. ‘Or shopped together for that matter? You and Charley are like chalk and cheese.’

Louise shrugged. ‘I really want us to be friends. It would be nice to go home and have a chat with her, rather than hear her music in the distance because she’s shut herself in her room. It’s like living with a stranger at times. I’m sure she tries to make things awkward between us.’

‘I could talk to her?’ Nicci suggested, aware of how much it was bothering her sister that Charley wouldn’t confide in her. ‘You remember what we were like when Mum asked us any kind of question.’ She rolled her eyes.

‘Don’t I just!’ Louise laughed. ‘It’s a good job I had you as a sister to look out for me. You got me out of lots of tellings off. Speaking of sisters,’ she pointed along the aisle to where Jess was serving on the sweet stall. ‘How are you getting on with the prodigal one?’

It was Nicci’s turn to look exasperated. ‘She’s really getting my back up, if you must know, with all her sarcastic remarks and all her bragging about her life in London. And she’s so untidy. I end up clearing up after her all the time.’

‘She can’t be that bad.’ Louise hurled a full sack of potatoes to one side and sat awkwardly on it.

‘But we can’t get any privacy.’

‘So that’s what’s eating you up? Haven’t you had a cuddle since baby sis turned up?’

Nicci tutted at the insinuation. ‘Of course we have. But she always seems to come in at such inappropriate moments. Take last night. We’d come back from the pub and were getting down and dirty in the kitchen when she walked in and interrupted us. She said she wanted a glass of water. Can you believe that?’

‘Yes,’ said Louise.

Nicci ignored her and continued. ‘Imagine if she’d come in two minutes later. You never know –’

‘You mean Jay lasts longer than two minutes?’ Louise laughed. ‘You jammy sod. You should think yourself lucky he lasts that long. You don’t have anything to moan about.’

‘Talking of men, has Sam mentioned anything else to you about Dan?’ Nicci asked, keeping her voice low. ‘I haven’t seen him around since the kiss happened and I’m dying to know. Has she mentioned anything to you?’

‘I have asked but she says she hasn’t seen him. She said she’d sent him a message asking him not to visit the stall.’

‘Oh, so that’s why he’s kept away.’ Nicci nodded. ‘I suppose it’s for the best.’

‘Morning. Is that kettle still warm?’ Sam appeared on the stall a few minutes later as Nicci and Louise were working. ‘It’s so cold out there. I’m freezing.’

‘Morning,’ said Louise. ‘Get warmed up last night, did you?’

Sam froze. ‘What do you mean?’

‘Knowing you, you went home and got into a hot bath. Am I right?’

‘Oh. Yes,’ she replied. ‘It was Heaven.’

Sam rushed into the staff room before her reddening cheeks gave her away again. Friends or not, there was no way she was telling Louise and Nicci anything about what had happened last night. The guilt she was feeling wasn’t for sharing. Besides, it wouldn’t be a case of problem shared, problem halved for her. Louise had known Reece for as long as she had. It didn’t seem fair to talk about Dan as if Reece no longer existed.

And it had made Sam wonder, through the long and lonely hours of the early morning, as she’d tried desperately to drift off to sleep, if Reece had stayed faithful to her, why he’d been working away. It would have been far easier for him to do the dirty because he was away from anyone who would see him.

Sam had sat up in bed at that point, suddenly panicking in case she had been seen by anyone she knew. She and Dan hadn’t done anything untoward in the pub. But had anyone been able to tell what they had really wanted to do, had in fact gone on partly to do? And what happened if any of the neighbours had seen her invite him into the house?

Even now, she was wondering how the hell she was going to face Reece when he finally came home. What a bitch she was for allowing herself to fall under Dan’s spell. She should have been stronger; strong enough to knock away his advances and talk to Reece about their ailing marriage first.

This wasn’t like her, not at all. In fact, right now, Sam didn’t know what to think of herself. She was so embarrassed by her antics. But she had enjoyed them. Was that so wrong?

‘Something up?’

Sam came out of her trance to find Louise standing in front of her. She shook her head. ‘No, I’m fine,’ she replied.

‘No, you’re not. I know when there is something on your mind. Is it Dan?’

Sam tried to keep her face straight as she shook her head. ‘I told you, I haven’t seen him since Monday.’

‘He hasn’t rung you – or texted you?’ Louise probed.

‘No – I –’

‘Sam doesn’t have to tell you everything, Lou,’ said Nicci, walking across to join them.

Louise swung round to face her. ‘I know. I was only trying to help.’

The conversation was dropped as several customers trooped in one after the other. But Sam’s mind wouldn’t settle. Twice she gave out the wrong orders before heading for their staff room with her paperwork.

‘Be gentle,’ Nicci said, nudging Louise when Sam was out of earshot. ‘You don’t know what it’s like for her.’

Louise sounded appalled. ‘What do you mean? I’ve been on my own for years now.’

‘Not through choice.’

‘No, it’s not. It’s because I can’t find a decent man. I’d love to be in a relationship again but who’d have me, with another man’s child?’

‘Everyone has excess baggage nowadays. That shouldn’t stop you. But Sam’s had no choice but to be by herself while Reece worked away.’

‘He didn’t have to leave her alone for so long,’ Louise protested.

‘His trade doesn’t pay much around here though. And Sam says that it’s not forever. He’ll be home for good in a couple of years.’

‘I have a feeling she won’t be sitting around waiting for him then. Don’t you?’

‘Maybe,’ Nicci agreed.

‘I’ll take her for a coffee, see if she’ll open up to me. Will you be okay if we go to the café?’

Nicci nodded. ‘Just go easy on her. She’s been a real good friend to you over the years. And whether you think what she did with Dan was right or wrong, it’s really none of your business.’ She held up a hand as Louise went to protest. ‘Nor mine. I don’t like what she’s doing either but it might not evolve into anything more than a few sexy feelings coming through.’ She turned to the elderly woman standing in front of her with a cabbage. ‘Seventy-five pence to you, my love.’

Louise stood in silence for a moment. Nicci had always been the level headed one of the Pellington kids. Even now she spoke oodles of common sense. She wondered if that was who Charley took after.

Sam came out onto the stall again.

‘Fancy grabbing a break at the café?’ Louise suggested.

But Sam shook her head. ‘I’m okay, Lou, thanks.’

Louise glanced surreptitiously at Nicci, raising her eyebrows this time. ‘Are you still coming out with me tomorrow night?’ she turned back to Sam.

‘Why? So I can stop you from throwing yourself at Rob Masters again?’

Louise grinned. ‘What about Reece? Is he coming home this weekend?’

‘No,’ said Sam truthfully.

‘So it’s a date then?’

Sam nodded. She hadn’t got anything else to do and she’d only spend the evening worrying about everything. About how she had to end this fling before it became more serious. That was, if she could end it. If her feelings for Dan would let her.

‘At last,’ said Louise. ‘I can’t believe how many times you’ve stood me up lately, so I’m holding you to this one. Nothing will stop us going out tomorrow night. Shall I come around to yours and get ready there?’

‘As long as you bring a bottle of something cool and delicious with you. What are you wearing?’

Sam relaxed as Louise went though the clothes in her wardrobe, ticking off on her fingers her many outfits. At least for now she’d managed to keep things to herself. But she knew she wouldn’t be able to hold out on Louise for long.