Chapter Fourteen

After Louise had constantly badgered Sam all week about another attempt at a girlie night out, Saturday evening at nine thirty found them both in Atmosphere, a popular wine bar in the centre of Hedworth. The place was packed and it was standing room only.

Even though Sam didn’t really want to be out on the town, she liked it in Atmosphere. It had the feel of a retro American bar, with embossed steel plates advertising such things as tea and peanut butter, adorning the walls along with posters of Marilyn Monroe, James Dean and a young Elvis Presley. World War Two pilots’ uniforms and memorabilia could be seen displayed behind glass cabinets. There was even a Harley Davidson motorbike situated in an alcove above the stairs.

Here, Sam could enjoy herself, have a conversation because the music wasn’t hurting her ears, and she could actually see people who were older than her. In most of the places Louise usually dragged her to, she wouldn’t have been surprised to see Charley and Sophie lurking in the background. How did she get to be so old and, well, past it, when it came to going out on a Saturday night?

‘So, come on. Spill the beans,’ said Louise, after they’d got a drink each. ‘Are things okay between you and Reece now?’

Sam froze as she knew she hadn’t told anyone what had happened between them.

‘What do you mean?’ she asked.

‘The last time we went out, you spent most of it moaning that you wished Reece would come home for good, so that you could feel like you were still a couple. Then there was this thing with Dan and since then, you’ve hardly mentioned either of them, come to think of it.’

‘Reece and I are fine,’ Sam nodded fervently, moving forward slightly as someone wanted to get past them. ‘And I ended it with Dan.’

‘What?’

‘Oh, come on, Louise,’ Sam protested. ‘It was wrong what I did with him and—’

‘What do you mean, what you did with him?’ Louise gasped, her eyes widened. ‘Did you do more than snog Dan Wilshaw, you dirty cat?’

‘No!’

‘Then what?’

‘Just nothing, okay?’ Sam almost shouted.

‘Okay, okay. Keep your hair on.’

They sat in silence for a while. Louise knocked back her drink and went to the bar for another round, Sam cursed herself inwardly for slipping up. Despite his constant efforts to get in touch with her again, she hadn’t told anyone what had happened between her and Dan. But if Louise got wind of it, even though she had her fair share of secrets, Sam knew she’d be livid that she hadn’t told her and then she would be worrying that Louise might slip up. She’d spoken to Reece again last night. He was coming from Sheffield to see her tomorrow for a couple of hours and she was looking forward to it.

Not wanting to mope on her night out, she watched as Louise chatted to some man at the bar. She smiled as she saw them laughing together. Louise was good to be around, most of the time. It wasn’t that Sam didn’t want to share things with her best friend. Usually she would, and gladly. But if she told Louise what she and Dan had done, and then that Reece had left, she’d put two and two together and make four which, unfortunately, would be the right answer. And Sam didn’t want anyone to know how disgusted she felt with herself, especially if Reece decided to come back. So the fewer people who knew about it the better, as far as she was concerned.

Louise returned with their drinks and she and Sam clinked glasses. The wine flowed and before they knew, it was nearly midnight.

‘I’m bushed,’ Sam told her later when they were re-applying lippie in the loo. ‘Shall we grab a kebab and head off home?’

‘Nooooooo!’ Louise flung an arm around her neck. ‘It’s too early. You and me are going clubbing.’ She held up a hand when Sam started to protest. ‘I haven’t been dancing with you in a long while. I fancy a good boogie. What do you say?’

Sam paused. She couldn’t recall the last time she’d had a dance. And if it meant getting Louise off her back for a while before she had to do it again, she might as well give it a shot. She nodded. Louise squealed like a pig, much to the fright of some of the teenagers re-applying Mac lip gloss.

Twenty minutes later, they headed to Rembrandt’s, the best in nightclubs that Hedworth had to offer. Once they were inside, Sam decided to forget about everything and have a dance with her best friend. And maybe, if they stayed on the dance floor, Louise wouldn’t have time to meet a man and leave her alone …

Matt woke up with a jolt to see it was nearly half past one. His arm was dead where he’d been leaning against it. He stretched, yawning noisily. The television was playing something he couldn’t recall watching. All he could remember was Charley going to bed shortly before midnight.

He really enjoyed watching over Charley. In her own sweet way, she reminded him of Louise when she was younger; sassy, cocky and full of life. Yet tonight he’d noticed she’d been a bit subdued.

He’d cracked a few jokes with her, which had raised the odd smile but that was all he’d got. Something was bugging her but he’d have to find out in her time. Matt knew better than to goad her into anything. She’d talk to him if she needed to.

He went through to the kitchen and made himself tea and a piece of toast before settling down in front of the television again. He could go to bed – there was one made up for him in the spare room. Louise would let herself in, albeit somewhat noisily, he knew from experience. But he always stayed up until she got back, waiting for her to check in. He couldn’t sleep until she was home so what was the point of going to bed and lying awake tossing and turning anyway? Besides, he knew Louise was always happy to see him, despite whatever he heard she’d been up to with Rob Masters.

Matt watched an old movie for a while before his eyes shut again.

Sam glanced at her watch. Through squinting eyes, she peered at it again. Was it really nearing two a.m.?

Coming out of the ladies’ for the umpteenth time since they’d arrived at Rembrandts, she searched around for Louise, only to find her on the dance floor, arms wrapped around Rob Masters as she snogged the face off him. Oh dear. If Louise didn’t want to feel bad about herself on a Sunday morning again, she’d better rescue her. She tapped her friend on the shoulder.

Turning towards her, lipstick smeared all around her mouth, Louise beamed and pulled her into a bear hug. Sam found her head being crushed into Louise’s chest.

‘I’m ready to go home,’ she shouted in Louise’s ear afterwards.

‘I can’t hear you!’ Louise shouted back.

Sam took her hand and pulled her towards the edge of the dance floor. When she turned to speak to her, she couldn’t believe Rob had come over too, until she noticed Louise’s firm grip on his arm.

‘We’re going home,’ she told Rob, prising Louise’s hand away.

‘But I don’t want to go yet.’ Louise dragged Rob’s arm up and pulled it around her shoulders. ‘I’m okay with you, aren’t I, Rob?’

Rob nodded. ‘Yeah, course, babe.’

‘Oh no.’ Sam wasn’t having it. ‘I’m not leaving you behind so that you’re embarrassed about what you get up to again.’

Louise’s eyes nearly came out of their sockets. ‘I’m not embarrassed,’ she told Rob, stretching up to kiss him.

‘Rob, have you any idea how you make her feel every weekend when all you think she’s good enough for is a quickie?’ said Sam. ‘Louise hates herself every Sunday morning because she’s been weak enough to fall for it again. She doesn’t want to sleep with you. She’s just lonely and you’ll do at the end of the—’

‘Oi!’ Louise jumped in. ‘I …’

Sam held up a hand to silence Louise and continued to speak to Rob.

‘If you actually like her, why don’t you start dating? Act like a normal couple, not just two sad and lonely people at the end of a night out.’

‘Okay, okay, you’ve made your point.’ Rob held up his hands in surrender. ‘I know when I’m being ambushed. I’ll see you around, Louise.’

‘Wait!’ Louise shouted after him as he walked away. With a glower, she turned back to Sam. ‘What did you say that for, you cow?’

But Sam wasn’t listening anymore. She didn’t drag Louise away kicking and screaming, but Louise did plenty of protesting as they left the nightclub.

‘I can’t believe you did that,’ Louise continued to complain as they got into a taxi parked outside the entrance. ‘I was ready to have a good time.’

‘I was saving you from yourself.’

Sam slammed the car door shut behind them, giving the driver Louise’s address. Although her house was the nearest to the city centre, she needed to make sure that Louise was home before she could relax. In her drunken state, she wouldn’t put it past Louise to ask the driver to take her back to Rembrandts to finish what she’d started once Sam had got out.

‘Yeah, right,’ Louise slurred. ‘More like you’re jealous because you’re not getting any.’

‘Don’t be disgusting.’ Sam turned her face and stared out of the window.

But Louise wanted to argue. ‘Well, I doubt you and Reece have sex any more.’

‘Louise!’ Sam remonstrated, appalled to see the taxi driver smirk through the rear view mirror.

‘Well, come on.’ Louise sat forward and ended up with her face in Sam’s shoulder as the driver took a corner. ‘You only see him for one night a week. What do you do for the rest?’

‘I’m not arguing with you when you’re drunk,’ Sam told her. In this state, it was better for Louise to think she’d had the last word.

‘And you must be frigid,’ Louise added.

Despite herself, Sam wouldn’t let those be the last ones.

‘That’s enough. You don’t know anything about it.’

‘Whassup? Truth hurt?’

They sat in a stroppy silence for the rest of the journey. Sam was grateful to see Louise’s road when it came up ahead. At least now she’d get some peace.

The taxi came to a halt and Louise handed the driver money to cover the fare so far. But then she struggled to get out of the door. Cursing, Sam tried to help her.

‘Would you sound your horn a little, please?’ she asked the driver as they practically fell out onto the pavement. ‘I’ve a feeling it’ll be quicker than this one trying to find her keys.’

The light went on in the hallway as they walked up the path and shortly afterwards, Matt came to the door and stepped out towards them. Sam held onto Louise in case she fell.

‘Hello, gorgeous,’ Louise smiled at Matt, as Sam transferred her into his arms. ‘Ya missed me tonight?’

‘Like a hole in the head,’ Matt muttered. ‘I can’t believe you’re in this state again. Come on. Let’s get you into bed.’

‘Ooh, I’ll let you take advantage of me, ifyerlike.’

As Sam left in the taxi, Matt helped Louise upstairs.

‘I love you, Matt Ratcliffe,’ Louise slurred as she dropped onto her bed.

‘I love you too, you drunken tart.’

Matt slipped off her shoes. Louise was so drunk she was like the sacks of potatoes that she emptied day after day. Hearing her snort, her eyes already closed, he tucked her under the duvet and sat down on the bed beside her.

Lying on her stomach, Louise snored gently. He watched her for a while, wondering what she’d been up to. Tenderly, he brushed her hair away from her face so he could see her. Her make-up was smudged everywhere but she was still beautiful to him. If only she could look at him as more than a friend, he’d look after her. He’d provide for her and Charley. He’d make Louise feel loved so that she didn’t have to sleep with other men to feel wanted.

Ever since he’d started to hang around with Ryan and Jay when they were teenagers some twenty years ago, Matt had always had feelings for Louise. He’d watched from the sidelines as she’d turned from a girl into a lady – a kick ass lady with a kick ass attitude. It had been worse when she’d found herself pregnant with Charley.

The pregnancy had shocked him at first but it didn’t dampen his feelings towards her; he still wanted to be with her. But even though Matt and Louise had been out on a few dates when they were younger, Louise hadn’t really wanted things to become more permanent. Her mind seemed to be elsewhere, on someone else rather than him. In the end, he accepted that the only way he would get to be part of her life was to stay friends with her, to become the person that she could always turn to, rely on.

Annoyingly, she’d often taken advantage of him. Now Charley was fifteen and it wasn’t so bad, but when she couldn’t be left alone for any length of time, Matt had become an unpaid babysitter. Although Ryan and Jay constantly told him that he was a mug, he didn’t mind so much. Looking after Charley was something he loved to do. He couldn’t wait to find a woman of his own and settle down to start a family.

But as time went by, somehow, he could never find the right one. His relationships would finish after a year or so – mainly because he spent so much time with Louise and Charley.

When she’d found Brian Thompson and ended up getting married, he’d wondered if it was too quick. They’d only been together a few months but they seemed to love each other nonetheless. And for a while, things changed between him and Louise. It meant he couldn’t pop around just for a chat or a takeaway. Matt missed both Louise and Charley.

So when the marriage was over, he was there for her again – even if it was with a comforting arm around her shoulder, rather than in her bed. In the back of his mind, he’d always hoped that Louise would be his eventually, especially as Charley saw him as a father figure. But even then, Louise didn’t notice him. Matt knew she thought of him as just a good friend. He’d been around for so long it was as if he was part of the paintwork, part of the family. Someone there for her and Charley; someone who could be relied on but not loved.

Still, at least he got to look out for her, even if it was in just a tiny way. And no matter what, he knew he’d always be there for her. Maybe one day she’d change her mind, see that he loved her. Maybe one day she would love him too.

Louise was snoring loudly now. He went to fetch a glass of water and a packet of paracetamol and placed them by the side of the bed. Then with a heavy heart, he left the room.

Arriving home after dropping Louise off, Sam let herself into her hallway and stood for a moment in the silence. Still a little tipsy, the emptiness distressed her and she burst into tears. She really didn’t want to go clubbing every weekend to find someone to care for her. No wonder Louise went off with Rob Masters as often as she could. If she had to come home to a house as empty as this one felt right now, she’d soon be getting her kicks up some dark alley.

In the space of one evening, she’d realised just how lonely Louise must have felt after being on her own for so many years. Even though Reece hadn’t been around as much as she would have liked him to be, Sam had always known she had him as her other half. The awareness was always there that he was only a drive down the motorway if she needed him.

Feeling the urge to talk to him, she kicked off her shoes and located her phone. Through watery eyes, she flicked through the contacts to find the one she wanted. Her fingers hovered over the button. It was nearly three a.m. now. Should she ring him? Of course she shouldn’t. She would see him tomorrow.

Feeling alone and wondering how she had made such a mess of her life, Sam dropped onto the settee and sobbed into the cushion.