Chapter Twenty-Two

‘You slept with my dad?’ Sam whispered.

Louise nodded slightly, still afraid to admit the truth. ‘Can’t you see? I’ve never told you before because I knew it would hurt you too much to find out the truth.’

Sam didn’t know what to say. Could it be true? That Charley was in fact her half-sister? Quickly, she did the sums. Charley was sixteen soon. Louise was thirty-four, which meant that her dad would have been thirty-four too when they had slept together. It would have been a couple of months before he died.

‘Sit down, Sam,’ said Louise. ‘And I’ll explain it all.’

Before she could, they heard a cry from the hall.

‘I HATE YOU!’

‘Charley!’ Louise and Sam spoke in unison, rushing out of the kitchen. When they reached the hall, they found Charley sitting at the top of the stairs, clutching her knees, looking very young, and very vulnerable.

‘I heard you!’ she yelled. ‘I heard every word.’

Louise rushed up the stairs towards her but Charley ran to her room and slammed the door shut.

‘Please, let me explain!’ Louise went straight in and saw that Charley had thrown herself onto the bed.

‘You should have told me!’ Charley screamed.

‘You should have told me, too.’

Louise turned round. Sam was standing in the doorway.

‘I couldn’t tell you.’ Louise began to cry as she looked from one to the other. ‘I thought I was doing the right thing – by both of you! I thought I was protecting you!’

‘No, you were protecting yourself,’ Sam said quietly.

‘I wasn’t!’

‘Yes, you were. By not telling me, you played on our friendship for years. You knew if I ever found out I wouldn’t want to know you anymore. You had no right to deceive me like that.’

‘I didn’t deceive you!’

‘It was all about you, once again. You never think about anyone but yourself.’

Louise shook her head. ‘You’re so wrong.’

Sam pointed at Charley who was crying into her pillow. ‘No wonder that poor girl feels like she’s not wanted.’ Then she turned and walked away.

‘Sam! Wait!’ Louise rushed to the bedroom door.

‘You’ve never got close to her because you’ve always blamed her for your mistake!’ Sam took a few steps down. ‘She’s there as a constant reminder of what you did!’

‘It was a mistake!’ Louise covered her ears with her hands. ‘I didn’t mean for it to happen.’

‘Like I believe that.’ Sam glared up at her. ‘She’ll never forgive you for this, and neither will I.’

‘Sam!’ Louise shouted down, unsure whether to follow her friend or comfort her daughter. ‘Sam, please!’

Sam retrieved her bag from the kitchen, swiped her coat from the banister and left the house with the slam of a door.

At the top of the stairs, Louise dropped to her knees. ‘I was eighteen!’ She sobbed, bitterly. ‘I was eighteen.’ But no one was listening to her.

---

As soon as Louise left her room, Charley logged into Facebook to see if Alex was online to chat. Luckily, he was.

CP: ‘I hate her. She says I was a mistake. How can she say that? So hurtful.’

AL: ‘She doesn’t deserve you. I think you should teach her a lesson.’

CP: ‘How?’

AL: ‘Maybe you should go somewhere for the night, not tell her and let her worry.’

CP: ‘I’m not sure what good that would do.’

AL: ‘If she really cared about you, she would be concerned.’

CP: ‘Maybe. But I don’t have anywhere to go.’

AL: ‘My mum and dad have a static caravan near to the sea at Rhyl.’

Euw, a caravan. Charley paused. That was her worst nightmare.

AL: ‘Think about it. Just for one night.’

CP: ‘I don’t know how to get to Rhyl. I don’t even know where it is.’

AL: ‘I could show you. I could stay with you, if you like.’

Charley stopped typing. She knew what Alex really meant was that they could sleep together in the caravan. A little tingle ran through her. She was ready, wasn’t she? This is what she wanted.

CP: ‘Do you think we could do it?’

AL: ‘Yes. Make her worry about you for a change. See how she likes it.’

Even though Alex couldn’t see her, Charley nodded through her tears. Oh, how she wanted to make her mum worry. She wanted to make her hurt, like she was hurting. Someone had to pay for all those lies.

But, more importantly, she wanted to be held by Alex. Comforted in his arms. Be loved by him, feel wanted by him. Alex would make everything better. She couldn’t wait to see him.

She pulled out her secret diary from her shoe box at the bottom of her wardrobe. Inside it was the money she’d saved from her Saturday job. She checked the notes. There was thirty pounds there now, plus twenty pounds of her own she’d saved from birthday money. Was it enough? She decided to chance it.

CP: ‘When?’

AL: Tomorrow?

CP: Okay. Let’s do it.

AL: ‘Really?’

CP: ‘Yes, really.’

AL: ‘Cool!’

The screen went blank as they each gathered their thoughts. Then the cursor flashed so that she knew Alex was writing something.

AL: ‘I can’t wait to meet you properly.’

Charley gave an excited squeal.

CP: ‘I can’t wait to meet you too.’

AL: ‘I’ll check train times and figure out somewhere we can meet and then I’ll email you. Laters. x’

As Charley planned her escape, Louise sat in the living room, a wet tissue screwed up in her hand. The television was on but she couldn’t see through the tears that kept flowing. All she could see were Sam’s angry eyes glaring at her and Charley’s face all screwed up with hurt. Two of the people she cared most about and she’d hurt them both in a matter of minutes.

She shouldn’t have taken her anger out on Sam. It wasn’t her fault that Charley’s teacher had wanted to see her. And why had she let things escalate so that she hadn’t kept her mouth shut about Martin? Or, more to the point – why hadn’t she come clean to Sam all those years ago? If she’d just said something to her straight away, none of this would be happening. She’d wanted to, ever since she’d first found out she was pregnant, but in the end it had gone on too long.

You silly cow, Louise chastised herself.

She shouldn’t have told either of them. Not even if Martin was still alive. It would have been spiteful and no matter what Sam thought, she hadn’t kept the secret to save her own skin. She’d done it because she cared. She knew how much losing Martin had devastated Sam and she didn’t want to do anything that would taint him in her eyes.

No wonder she had never found the right words. There had never been any.

‘You’re home early,’ Reece shouted as Sam came through the door.

‘I don’t feel well,’ she replied.

‘What’s wrong?’

‘Oh, just a headache.’ Sam flopped into the armchair. She wasn’t quite sure why, but she didn’t want to tell Reece what she’d found out. ‘I’m not in the mood for Louise harping on about herself.’

Reece stood up. ‘I’ll make a coffee.’

He ruffled her hair as he walked past and Sam smiled faintly. She thought back to her last words with Louise. She knew the truth would come out eventually but she hadn’t realised it would have something to do with her. Tears filled her eyes. She longed to let them out but knew she had to keep them hidden for now.

She tried to put herself in her friend’s position. Had Louise been wrong to sleep with her dad, way back then? Louise had been wild at eighteen. That’s what Sam loved about her. Opinionated, daring, extrovert and quite the opposite of her. She’d loved hanging around with Louise because of it. Would that have changed if she knew she was after her dad?

She wondered how long it had been going on, and how hadn’t she noticed that Louise had fallen for him? She tried to think back but it was too far. There were no memories she could recall that would make her think about anything in particular. Louise always seemed to be round at her house because her own was too noisy. She had to share a room with Nicci so being here with Sam was more private.

Had Louise used Sam all that time and she’d never known? And why hadn’t she told her? Was it because she’d known that she’d lose her? After Martin’s death, would Sam have been excited about a baby he’d fathered? She very much doubted that.

She held in a sob. Had Louise chosen her as a godmother to Charley because of her father? Had Louise stayed friendly with Sam all that time just because of the connection between them? She had to admit they didn’t always get along. But she’d always thought of them as best friends.

Reece came in. He handed her a glass of water and two painkillers, then brought in their drinks before lounging out on the settee. With a quick smile in her direction, he went back to watching the television.

Sam drank her coffee and excused herself as quickly as she could. At least in the shower, she could cry in solitude. Once under the water, she let the tears fall. For her; for Charley; and most of all, for her dad.

Bringing this up now made her wonder what it would be like if he was still alive. Sadly, she would never find out.

And that’s what hurt the most.

The next morning, Charley had been awake since five a.m. She’d stayed in her bedroom the evening before, gathering together the things she needed. A night away would be enough to teach her mum a lesson. Then maybe she could come back and move in with Sam – or even Matt.

Charley glanced around the room she’d always loved so much. Just lately, it had become her prison as well as her sanctuary. The walls had never felt like they were closing in on her until now. She’d always loved this room. She and Sophie had hung around in it, had a laugh together so many times over the years.

Tears glistened in her eyes as she thought of the last time she’d seen her best friend. Sophie had been with Angela Wilson again. She couldn’t understand why she didn’t want to hang around with her anymore. They’d been friends for years. She thought they’d be friends for life. She thought Sophie would stick with her through thick and thin. All of a sudden, she realised she had no one to depend on but Alex. He would look after her.

She logged onto her laptop and checked her emails. There was one from him, giving details of the train times and where he’d meet her at the station. She pressed print. Then she logged onto Facebook to see if he was around. When there was no reply, she remembered what time it was; Alex would still be asleep.

Instead, she sent him a quick text message to say she’d received his email. She’d try again later if she had time before she left for the train.

It was nearing seven fifteen when he replied:

‘Really can’t wait to see you. x’

She texted back a reply:

‘Me too. Am excited. x’

Her bag packed, she lay underneath her duvet, fully clothed, just in case her mum tried to talk to her before she left for work and spotted she was dressed. It was Wednesday and Louise usually took the bus into Hedworth as Sam caught up on her paperwork and came to the stall a little later. Not that Sam was likely to pick her mum up after what had happened.

Charley still couldn’t believe what she’d learned last night. Ever since she could remember, she’d dreamt of meeting her dad one day. She’d dreamt about him holding her in his arms, saying he’d never stopped thinking of her. She’d daydreamed about him saying he was sorry and that it was Louise who’d told him not to stay in touch. That it was Louise who’d told him to stay away. And now she knew she would never get to meet him. Charley would never forgive her mum for keeping this secret.

A knock on her door just before half past seven made her jump.

‘Charley?’ said Louise, quietly.

‘Leave me alone,’ Charley shouted, glad that her mum hadn’t barged in like she normally did.

‘I’m not coming in and I’m not going to try and talk to you right now. And even though I really shouldn’t do this, I’m going to ring the school and tell them you’re sick and won’t be coming in today. Okay?’

Charley had an idea. ‘Thanks,’ she replied.

‘Okay. Ring me if you need anything … or just, you know, if you want to talk.’ A pause. ‘I’ll see you later then, yeah?’

No, you won’t. Charley said nothing, knowing that she’d given herself a bit of time to get away. If her mum thought she was at home, she could travel to see Alex, safe in the knowledge that no one would find her until she was ready to come home.

She smiled. See how Louise coped with worrying about someone other than herself for a change.