Mike thanks all his friends who consented to be interviewed for this thing: Judd Apatow, Nancy Cartwright, Dan Castellaneta, David Copperfield, Al Jean, Jon Lovitz, and Conan O’Brien. Thanks to Matt Klickstein for doing the interviewing—I’d never have the guts to do it. And thanks, Matt K., for conceiving this project—there wouldn’t be a book without you.
Thanks to my wife, Denise, who takes more photos than most security cameras. You are the reason this book has pictures. Oh, yeah, and thanks for marrying me.
And thanks to everyone—and I mean everyone—at The Simpsons for letting me tell a story that really belongs to all of us. Nobody was ever resentful about it. Like I said over and over: it’s a shockingly nice place to work.
Special thanks to Antonia Coffman for helping me get a pair of great Simpsons pics.
To anyone at The Simpsons I neglected to mention . . . this counts as a mention. I’m talking to you, Rob LaZebnik.
Finally, let me acknowledge that this book may contain errors, omissions, paraphrases, and exaggerations. Every story I tell is true . . . to the best of my recollection. However, I’m pushing sixty and can’t even remember what I had for breakfast. (Oh, right, beer!) Plus, I do have a tendency to punch up everything, including reality.
Despite the subtitle, there is only one “Outright Lie” in the book. In chapter 2, I tell a long story about my third-grade teacher, and then say it never happened. That’s not true! It did happen, pretty much the way I tell it. My only lie was to lie when I said I lied. If that doesn’t make sense, forgive me. I had a big breakfast.
Mathew thanks his terrific agent, Anthony Mattero at Foundry, for encouragement, counsel, friendship, and rock-hard honesty. Thanks also to Janet Rosen for her initial lessons in how to devise a winning book proposal/concept back in the “early days.”
Because his last book was gratuitously crammed with an exorbitant amount of “special thanks” at the end, he’ll only say here that he once again appreciates the support of his parents, friends, and family, along with all the new friends and colleagues he’s come across over the past few years who have so enriched his life and made sure he’d be up to the challenge of working on yet another project with such cultural relevance . . . and all that jazz.
Brothers-in-authorship Caseen Gaines, Allen Salkin, Jon Niccum, Jai Nitz, and Adam Bradley deserve special singling-out here for hours of listening to a lot of whining and complaining, while being some of the select few on the planet who truly understand why that has to be done.
Gratitude is also due to the deliciously boho staff at Baltimore’s own Baby’s On Fire, at which many of the elements Mathew contributed to this project were fashioned.
Of course, he thanks Mike and Denise Reiss for their sometimes mind-boggling hospitality and generosity in opening up their lives (and in a few cases, their own home) to someone they barely knew at first.
And to all of those who contributed to this book—including interviewees (Nancy, you were my favorite)—as well as the tireless staff at Dey Street, particularly editor Matt Daddona.
Finally, Mathew has the privilege of actually doing one traditional thing in his kinetic, contrarian life and using an acknowledgment in a book to thank his wife, Becky, for being the Yoko to his Ono (bow down to the Queen of Noise), always reminding him tomorrow is another day, and at least pretending to laugh at all his inane jokes. BEST. EYE ROLLING. EVER.