What follows is a list of actual terms used by comedy writers. Just as language manuals use the simplest sentences (“The pen is on the table”—really?), I’ve chosen to illustrate them with the simplest, most obvious gags that exist: Kim Kardashian jokes.
K-words: Neil Simon’s The Sunshine Boys exposed audiences to one of the great secrets of comedy: words with K sounds are funny. Cucumbers are funnier than celery. Cucamonga is funnier than Philadelphia. Kim Kardashian is funnier than anything. A warning to novices—K-words alone don’t make a sentence funny. For example:
My cousin Kenny was killed by the Ku Klux Klan.
Rule of three: This is one of the few solid rules of comedy, one vouched for by scientist/Futurama cocreator David Cohen. The rule of three is a list joke, where the first two elements are normal, and the third element is a surprise. Example:
HE: I picked up three things at the Kim Kardashian Museum: a brochure, a T-shirt, and chlamydia.
Button: The last joke in a scene, “buttoning” it with a laugh before you move on to the next scene. Example:
SHE: It’s agreed, we’re going out to a museum today. Which one would you like?
HE: The Kim Kardashian Museum. It’s always open and anyone can get in.
Act break: The moment on a TV show right before the commercial break that is so intriguing you have to stay tuned. Commercial-free sitcoms, like those on HBO, don’t need act breaks, but on a network show, they are the most important part of a story pitch. Example:
HE: Two tickets for the Kim Kardashian Museum.
GUARD: I’m sorry, we’re closed . . . There’s been a murder!
Act Break
Callback: A joke repeated later in a show because it got a laugh earlier. This is a cheap, lazy trick that always seems to work. We try to avoid these on The Simpsons. Example:
SHE: I really enjoyed the Kim Kardashian Museum.
HE: We can go back tomorrow. Like I said, it’s always open!
Laying pipe: Providing exposition and character detail, preferably in a subtle way. Example:
HE: Let’s go to that Kim Kardashian Museum. It’s always open, even in this small New England town where I’ve come to get over my wife’s unsolved disappearance that happened twenty years ago today.
Joke on a joke: When you have a perfectly decent punchline, but add another joke to it. Some writers believe this ruins the original joke; others believe it doubles the comedy. Example:
GRAMPA: Let’s go to that Kim Kockamamie Museum: it’s always open and anyone can get in.
Wacky stack (also known as “stacking the wack”): Basically, a joke on a joke . . . on a joke on a joke. It’s the hope that by stringing funny words together you will eventually strike comedy gold. You won’t. Example:
GRAMPA: Let’s go to the Kim Kockamamie Museum. It’s run by a stuttering Albanian on Dingle Street in Sheboygan.
M.O.S: Dialogue near the end of an episode where it suddenly switches from cheap jokes to unearned sentimentality. (M.O.S. stands for “Moment of Shit.”) Example:
HE: You know the sexiest thing in the Kim Kardashian Museum? You.
SHE: Oh, honey . . .
They hug.
Treacle cutter: After the Moment of Shit, a joke is tacked on to cut through the sweetness. Example:
HE: You know the sexiest thing in the Kim Kardashian Museum? You.
SHE: Oh, honey . . .
They hug. Then:
SHE: Your keys are poking me.
HE: Those aren’t keys.
Comedy killer: A word or phrase so depressing—such as bone cancer or Armenian genocide—that it kills any joke it touches. Example:
HE: Let’s go to the Kim Kardashian Museum. It’s always open and anyone can get in unless they have full-blown AIDS.
Nakamura: When a joke in a script bombs with an audience, and the writer knows there are four more callbacks to that same joke. Coined by Garry Marshall, after a running joke about a Mr. Nakamura went 0-for-6 with a studio audience. Example:
Ending a book with a dozen Kim Kardashian jokes.