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YOU CAN’T LIVE BEYOND
WHAT YOU BELIEVE

“Your Christian walk is the direct result of what you believe about God and yourself. If your faith is off, your walk will be off.”

When my son Karl was about 10 years old, I (Neil) introduced him to the game of golf. I gave him a little starter set of clubs and took him out to the course with me. Karl would tee up his ball and whale away at it with his mightiest swing. Usually he sprayed the ball all over the place. But since he could only hit it 60 or 70 yards at best, his direction could be off by 15 degrees or so and his ball would still be on the fairway.

As he grew up and got a bigger set of clubs, Karl was able to drive the ball off the tee 150 yards and farther. But if his drive was still 15 degrees off target, his ball no longer stayed in the fairway; it usually went onto the rough. Accuracy is even more important for golfers who can blast a golf ball 200 to 250 yards off the tee. The same 15 degrees that allowed little Karl’s short drives to remain on the fairway will send a longer drive soaring out of bounds.

This simple illustration pictures an important aspect of the life of faith: Your Christian walk is the direct result of what you believe about God and yourself. If your faith is off, your walk will be off. If your walk is off, you can be sure it’s because your faith is off.

As new Christians, we needed some time to learn how to “hit the ball straight” in our belief system. We could be off 15 degrees in what we believed and still be on the fairway because we were still growing and had a lot to learn. But the longer we hold on to a poor belief system, the less fulfilling and productive our daily walk of faith will be.

Some Christians believe that walking by faith means being carried along by a mysterious, indescribable, inner sense called faith— kind of like “the force” in the Star Wars movies. But the walk of faith is much more practical and real than that. Walking by faith simply means that we function in daily life on the basis of what we believe. In fact, we already walk by faith; we can’t not walk by faith. Our belief system determines our behavior. If our behavior is off in a certain area, we need to correct our belief in that area because our misbehavior is the result of our misbelief.

“But how can I know what I really believe?” you may ask. Here’s a simple, two-part quiz that will help you identify your present belief system. Take a few minutes to complete the quiz. In Part One, rate yourself in each of the eight categories by circling a number from one to five that best represents you, five being high.

BELIEF QUIZ—PART ONE

In Part Two, complete each of the eight statements as honestly as possible.

BELIEF QUIZ—PART TWO

1. I would be more successful if _____________

2. I would be more significant if _____________

3. I would be more fulfilled if _______________

4. I would be more satisfied if ______________

5. I would be happier if ___________________

6. I would have more fun if ________________

7. I would be more secure if ________________

8. I would have more peace if _______________

Whatever you believe is the answer to the above questions makes up your present belief system. Assuming that your basic needs for food, shelter, safety and so forth are met, you will be motivated in life by what you believe will bring you success, significance, fulfillment, satisfaction, happiness, fun, security and peace. And if what you believe about these eight values does not line up with what God says about them in His Word, your walk of faith will be off to the same degree that your belief is off.

FEELINGS ARE GOD’S RED FLAG OF WARNING

God desires all His children to experience success, significance, fulfillment, satisfaction, happiness, fun, security and peace. From birth we have been figuring out the best ways to experience these eight values and reach other goals in life. Whether we think about it or not, we continue to figure and adjust our plans for reaching these goals.

But sometimes our well-intended plans and noble-sounding goals are not completely in harmony with God’s plans and goals for us. How can I know if what I believe is right? you may be wondering. Do I have to wait until I am out of college or old and gray to discover that what I believed in these eight areas was wrong? No, you don’t have to wait.

God has designed you in such a way that you can know on a moment-by-moment basis if your belief system is properly lined up with God’s truth. God can grab your attention so that you can know if you have a good goal or a bad goal. He uses your emotions. When someone or something leaves you feeling angry, anxious or depressed, those emotional signposts are there to alert you that you may be holding on to a poor goal, which is based on a wrong belief. Though emotions will change, and may not always be 100 percent reliable, they are designed to alert us to poor goals or faulty beliefs.

Anger Signals a Blocked Goal

When you’re feeling angry about a relationship or a project, it’s usually because someone or something has blocked your goal. Any goal that can be blocked by forces you can’t control (other than God) is not a healthy goal, because your success is out of your hands.

For example, you may say, “My goal in life is to have a loving, happy family all the time.” Who can block that goal? Every person in your family can block that goal—not only can, they will. If you’re clinging to the belief that your happiness is dependent on your family, you’ll crash and burn every time your dad or mom or brother or sister fails to live up to your image of family harmony. You will probably be a very angry person, which could drive family members even farther away from you and each other.

Feelings of anger warn us to reexamine what we believe and the goals we have put together.

Anxiety Signals an Uncertain Goal

Anxiety is that uneasy feeling inside us—kind of like worry and fear mixed together—that comes when we’re not sure what’s going to happen. When we feel anxious in an activity or relationship, our anxiety may be signaling that we’re not sure about the goal we have chosen. We hope something will happen, but we have no guarantee that it will. We can control some of the factors, but not all of them, so worry begins to chew at our insides.

For example, you may believe that your happiness depends on your parents allowing you to attend a concert by a hot new rock group. Not knowing how they will respond, you get anxious. It’s not a Christian group, so you’re a little nervous that they won’t allow you to go. Your anxiety reveals the uncertainty of your goal.

If they say no, you’ll be angry because your goal was blocked. But what if you know all along that your parents will say something like, “A non-Christian group? Not a chance!” You’ll probably experience another emotion—depression—because your goal cannot be achieved

Depression Signals an Impossible Goal

When we base our future success on something that can never happen, we have an impossible, hopeless goal. Depression is a signal that our goal, no matter how spiritual or noble, may never be reached. Depression is the expression of hopelessness.

For example, let’s say there is someone on your campus who is very out-going and always seems to have lots of friends. But you are shy and reserved with few friends. So you make up your mind that you are going to be just like that out-going person. You decide to change your personality and temperament so that you can be just like him or her.

Is that a good goal? No way! It’s impossible to become exactly like someone else. If you base your happiness on a goal that’s beyond your ability, depression will set in. Depression often signals that you are desperately clinging to a goal you have little or no chance of achieving, and that’s not a healthy goal.

Sometimes the depression resulting from an impossible goal is related to a wrong concept of God. David wrote, “How long, O Lord? Will you forget me forever? How long will you hide your face from me? … How long will my enemy triumph over me?” (Psalm 13:1-2, NIV). Had God really forgotten David? Was He actually hiding from David? Of course not. David had a wrong concept of God, feeling that He had abandoned him to the enemy. David’s wrong concept led him to an impossible goal: victory over his enemies without God’s help. No wonder he felt depressed!

But the remarkable thing about David is that he didn’t stay in the dumps. He looked over his situation and realized, “Hey, I’m a child of God. I’m going to focus on what I know about Him, not on my negative feelings.” From the pit of his depression he wrote, “I trust in your unfailing love; my heart rejoices in your salvation” (Psalm 13:5, NIV). Then he decided to make a positive expression of his will: “I will sing to the Lord, for he has been good to me” (Psalm 13:6, NIV). He willfully moved away from his wrong concept and its accompanying depression and returned to the source of his hope.

If Satan can destroy your belief in God, you will lose your source of hope. But with God all things are possible. He is the source of all hope. You need to learn to respond to hopeless-appearing situations as David did: “Why are you in despair, O my soul? And why are you disturbed within me? Hope in God, for I shall again praise Him, the help of my countenance, and my God” (Psalm 43:5).

Wrong Responses to Those Who Frustrate Goals

When a person’s happiness or success hinges on reaching a goal that can be blocked or that is uncertain or impossible, how will they respond to those who frustrate their goals? Often they will attempt to control or manipulate the people or circumstances that stand between them and their success.

For example, Darcy’s goal is to win the last open spot on the cheerleading squad. But she learns that Brittany, one of her best friends, is trying out for the same spot. Brittany is far more popular and athletic, and Darcy knows her friend will easily beat her out for the vacant position. Darcy’s goal is blocked. Her sense of selfworth and importance is on the line.

How does she feel about her best friend Brittany now? She’s ticked. She’s not sure she wants to be Brittany’s friend anymore. Worse yet, she begins to look for underhanded ways to get Brittany out of the cheerleading picture. She attempts to influence the teachers who are making the final selection. She makes up lies about her friend, lies that could seriously damage Brittany’s good reputation. She looks for ways to change Brittany’s mind about trying out. Darcy insists, “I’ll never be your friend again if you do this to me.”

Why does she do all this? Because she believes that her significance and success depend on reaching her goal of making the cheerleading squad. A bad goal has created a bad situation between good friends.

People who cannot control those who frustrate their goals will probably respond by getting bitter, angry or resentful. They may simply resort to feeling sorry for themselves. Unless Darcy adjusts her goal, she will waste months and possibly years living in bitter defeat.

HOW CAN I TURN BAD GOALS INTO GOOD GOALS?

Here’s a faith-stretching question: If God wants something done, can it be done? In other words, if God has a goal for your life, can it be blocked, or is its fulfillment uncertain or impossible?

Absolutely not. There is no goal that God has for your life that is impossible or uncertain, nor can it be blocked. Imagine God saying, “I’ve called you into existence, I’ve made you My child and I have something for you to do. I know you won’t be able to do it, but give it your best shot.” That’s crazy! It’s like your dad saying to you, “I want you to mow the lawn. Unfortunately, the lawn is full of rocks, the mower doesn’t work and there’s no gas. But give it your best shot.”

God had a staggering goal for a girl named Mary. An angel told her that she would give birth to a son while still a virgin and that her son would be the Savior of the world. When she inquired about this seemingly impossible feat, the angel simply said, “Nothing will be impossible with God” (Luke 1:37).

Most parents don’t give their children tasks they can’t complete. God, our loving, perfect heavenly Father, doesn’t assign us goals we can’t achieve. His goals for us are possible, certain and achievable. The only requirement for success is your response. You must say with Mary, “Behold, the bondslave of the Lord; be it done to me according to your word” (Luke 1:38).

KNOWING THE DIFFERENCE BETWEEN
GOALS AND DESIRES

The secret to achieving God’s goals is learning the difference between a godly goal and a godly desire. This understanding can spell the difference between success and failure, inner peace and inner pain for the Christian.

A godly goal is any specific choice reflecting God’s purposes for your life that does not depend on people or circumstances beyond your ability or right to control. Who do you have the ability and right to control? Virtually no one but yourself. The only person who can block a godly goal or render it uncertain or impossible is you. And if you adopt the attitude of cooperation with God’s goals as Mary did, your goal can be reached.

A godly desire is any specific choice that depends on the cooperation of other people or the success of events or favorable circumstances you cannot control. You cannot base your self-worth or your personal success on your desires, no matter how godly they may be, because you cannot control their fulfillment. Some of your desires can be blocked, some are uncertain and some are impossible.

When a desire is wrongly treated as a goal and that goal is frustrated, you must deal with all the anger, anxiety and depression that may accompany that failure. But by comparison, when a desire isn’t met, all you face is disappointment. Life is full of disappointments, and we all must learn to live with them. Dealing with the disappointments of unmet desires is a lot easier than dealing with the anger, anxiety and depression of goals that are based on wrong beliefs.

We must learn to distinguish between our goals and desires the way God does. For example, what does God say about sin? “My little children, I am writing these things to you that you may not sin” (1 John 2:1). Certainly God desires that we don’t sin, but is this a good goal as was defined earlier? It’s not a goal because it can be blocked by anyone who exercises his will against repentance. But it is God’s desire that everyone repent even though not everyone will.

Then does God have any genuine goals—specific results that cannot be blocked? Praise the Lord, yes! For example, Jesus Christ will return and take us home to heaven to be with Him forever—it will happen. Satan will be cast into the pit for eternity—count on it. Rewards will be distributed to the saints for their faithfulness— look forward to it. These are not desires that can be overcome by man’s free will. What God has determined to do, He will do.

When you begin to align your goals with God’s goals and your desires with God’s desires, you will rid your life of a lot of anger, anxiety and depression. For example, Darcy will save herself a lot of grief if she changes her goal of making the cheerleading squad into a desire. Instead she could make it her goal to do her best during the tryouts and remain a good friend to Brittany no matter who is selected. She may have to deal with some disappointment, but those are godly goals no one can frustrate but Darcy.

GODLY GOALS CENTER ON BUILDING CHARACTER

God’s basic goal for our lives is character development: becoming the persons He wants us to be. Because it’s a godly goal, no one can block it except us. But there certainly are a lot of distractions, diversions, disappointments, trials, temptations and traumas that come along to disrupt the process. Every day we struggle against the world, the flesh and the devil, each of which is opposed to our success at being godly persons.

But Paul reminds us that the tough times we face are actually a means of achieving our supreme goal of maturity: “We also exult in our tribulations, knowing that tribulation brings about perseverance; and perseverance, proven character; and proven character, hope; and hope does not disappoint, because the love of God has been poured out within our hearts through the Holy Spirit who was given to us” (Romans 5:3-5). James offered similar encouragement: “Consider it all joy, my brethren, when you encounter various trials, knowing that the testing of your faith produces endurance. And let endurance have its perfect result, that you may be perfect and complete, lacking in nothing” (James 1:2-4).

Maybe you thought your goal as a Christian was to escape tough times. But God’s goal for you is maturity in Christ, becoming the person He designed you to be. And tough times happen to be one of the primary stepping stones on the pathway. That’s why Paul says we exult—meaning to express great joy—in our tribulations. Why? Because hanging in there during tough times is the doorway to proven character, which is God’s goal for us.

Incidentally, committing yourself to hang in there and grow in a relationship problem leads to a win-win solution. Not only will you become a better person through the process, but it is by far the best way to win back a friend. You’re so focused on becoming what God wants you to be in the relationship that you don’t have time to try to change the other person or circumstance.

One of the great things about trials and tribulations in our lives is that they reveal wrong goals. Some kids say, “My family life is hopeless. My parents don’t understand me and they’re always on my back.” So to solve the problem they run away from home. Others feel they have blown it at a certain school. So they change schools only to discover that the new school seems just as hopeless.

People tend to look for quick-fix solutions to difficult situations. But God’s plan is for you to hang in there and grow up. Let the problem help you evaluate and adjust your goals and desires.

Isn’t there an easier way to become the persons God wants us to be than by going through tough times? We’re all looking for one. But it’s the dark, difficult times of testing in our lives that bring us to the place where we learn that we can totally rely on God. We all need occasional mountaintop experiences. But the fertile soil for growth is always down in the valleys of tribulation, not on the mountain tops.

Paul says, “The goal of our instruction is love” (1 Timothy 1:5). If you make that your goal, then the result is joy, peace and patience (see Galatians 5:22) instead of the anger, anxiety and depression of frustrated goals.

TRUTH ENCOUNTER

1.   What does anger in your life signal? What may need to change?

2.   What is the difference between a goal and a desire?

3.   What are some tribulations you’ve had in your life and what have you learned from them?

4.   What is God’s goal for your life?