All things considered, the British agent, Greystoke, sounded distinctly undelighted as Captain Gringo finished telling him about his recent adventures. They were alone in Greystoke’s paneled office up in San Jose. Captain Gringo was seated, uninvited, in a comfortable chair, smoking one of Greystoke’s cigars, unoffered, as the dapper Englishman paced holes in his Oriental rug.
Captain Gringo said, “You mentioned something about money, one time, Greystoke.”
Greystoke stopped, turned, and gasped, “You expect me to pay you, after all the damage you’ve done?”
“I thought that was what we contracted for, old chum.”
“Well, damn it, you thought wrong! What the devil did you mean by going to the west coast? I distinctly told you to look for that German base on the east coast!”
“I know. We were supposed to flounder around in the swamps until we gave up or got lost in quicksand. You were using us as a diversion until the Germans became convinced you had no idea their base was in that crater and stopped suspecting your agent over there, Ernestine Hoover.”
Greystoke’s jaw dropped. Then he quickly recovered and asked, “Where on earth did you get a mad idea like that?”
“Come on. She still had the marks of the beating someone gave her without getting her to talk. She somehow convinced them she wasn’t a British spy. But they started trying to kill her again as soon as we showed up. I figure her husband must be a fairly important German officer who’s convinced she’s okay. So some other Germans had to kill her, or try to, when he wasn’t looking. I can see why Hoover likes her. She was busting a gut convincing him by spying on me for him, too. Did she get out all right when the egg hit the fan?”
“Goddamn it, Walker. I’ve a jolly good mind to have you killed myself! You totally ruined things over in Punta Purgatorio! The Germans took a terrible beating and, more important, they’ve evacuated the base.”
“I thought that was what you asked us to do. I guess your real plan was to keep tabs on that sub pen until you had a war with Germany, someday, so that you could lob shells into the crater then, right?”
“Of course, you stupid bastard! The only ray of sunshine is that the U.S. Navy doesn’t know it shelled a German base to smithereens and the Kaiser can’t afford to protest about it!”
Captain Gringo blew some expensive smoke out of his nose and said, “All’s well that ends well. You should have told us what you wanted instead of using us as pawns in your dirty little game. I don’t care how you and the Germans work it out, if and when you get around to your war. My only care is that we contracted to seek out and destroy a secret German base, and you can’t say we didn’t do it. So screw international power plays and let’s talk about money!”
Greystoke grimaced and said, “Screw the money, tool I’m trying to decide whether to sic my gunmen on you or simply turn you in to the U.S. Consulate down the street!”
Captain Gringo smiled, but his eyes were hard as he said, “You’re not that dumb, Greystoke. You know the U.S. Government would question me about my recent activities before they got around to hanging me on that old bum charge. And you know I’d have no reason not to tell them the whole story. I figure that if you wanted Uncle Sam to know what British Intelligence is up to on this side of the Atlantic, you’d have told him, by now.”
Greystoke sighed and said, “You’re right. I’d better just have you murdered.”
“You won’t do that, either. Gaston knows the whole story. So do the other guys I brought back with me, the hard way. If they’re not paid, they’re going to be annoyed as hell. Gaston said something about the German consulate paying pretty well for information, too.”
“You wouldn’t dare! How could any of you hope to get out alive after confessing to the Germans that you were responsible for all that death and destruction?”
“Oh, I don’t know. Most pros would forgive a lot to learn who was behind the attack, or that a top German officer is wrong about his Ernestine. They may act a little wild, though, so, all in all, I’d rather get the money from you.”
“Goddamn you, Walker. This is naked blackmail!”
“Bullshit. I could have blackmailed you without losing two guys doing just what you asked us to do. Once I figured out what was going on in Punta Purgatorio I could have sold the Germans all sorts of info, too!”
Greystoke closed his eyes and muttered, “God give me strength.” Then he said, “I’ll give you half, Walker. Even you will have to admit you did a half-ass job.”
“Horse feathers. I put that German base completely out of business.” Then he added, “I’ll tell you what, though. Pay me the full fee and I’ll tell you where the Germans are likely to set up their next base.”
Greystoke blinked and gasped, “You know?”
“Not exactly. But I know how you’ll know. You’re going to have to get Ernestine out of that situation with her German officer, right?”
“Of course. The Germans will be too clever to use Jan Hoover as a cover again in any case, and she says he’s not very good in bed.”
“I don’t know who they’ll use, next time, for cover. But I know their security officer, and they don’t know that I know. Do we have a deal?”
Greystoke went over to his desk, took out a fat envelope and said, “Here. You don’t have to count it.”
Captain Gringo muttered, “Bullshit.” and opened the envelope to count the money as Greystoke fumed. Then he said, “Okay, we spent most of what you advanced us, but this should stake us for a while,”
“Damn it, you said you know how we can spot the next German operation. Give, you bastard!”
“Well, I don’t have his name, but you probably have him on file. He’s that helpful Armenian who runs the cantina.”
“Guderian? That’s insane. We checked out all the locals. He has no connections with Berlin.”
“For God’s sake, are spies supposed to send Mother’s Day cards to Germany? The Armenian’s cantina is too big for a village that size. He also had a habit of knowing where I was all the time. Even when I didn’t offer to tell him. He has a teeny tiny agent working with him that’s a pisser, too. They were the only ones beside your agent, Ernestine, who knew which room I’d taken when someone lobbed a shell into it. The last night I was there the girl went above and beyond the call of duty to find out which end of a large sail loft I had my bunk in. If I’d hung around they’d have blown that up, too. But I moved too fast and, no matter, they didn’t get me, and, more important, they don’t know I was on to them. So, now that Guderian’s got no reason to hang around Punta Purgatorio, what will you bet he moves his business somewhere else?”
Greystoke nodded and looked less likely to throw up on the carpet as he mused, “Hmm! Berlin does use sleeper agents who make no contact for years at a time, but move in for the kill when a kill is called for. We’ll keep our eye on Guderian. But I must say, I’m rather sick of your grinning face.”
Captain Gringo got to his feet with the envelope and tucked it away in his new jacket as he said, “Up yours, too.”
“Where will you be staying in San Jose, in case I need you again?”
“Surely you jest! From here on, I mean to stay as far away from you double-crossers as I can get!”
“The feeling is mutual,” replied Greystoke, as the taller American turned and walked out of the room.
Outside, the sun was shining, the highland air was perfumed with magnolia from the park across the way. Captain Gringo crossed the street jauntily and headed into the park to meet Gaston, lurking on the far side. But as he followed the winding gravel path, a feminine voice called his name and he stopped and turned in the shade on an ancient cedar tree.
It was Helena. The little blonde was in high heels and a better dress than the one he’d bought her. He remembered Greystoke had said he’d get her a job around the British Consulate. He remembered she’d said she’d be waiting for him, too. As she joined him he put an arm on either of her shoulders and tried to look pleased. What the hell, he had plenty of money, she was great in bed, and he would figure out some way to let her down gent-
Helena smiled timidly up at him and said, “I heard you were back, darling. I suppose you were wondering where to find me, no?”
“I had some business to take care of before I looked you up. I didn’t forget you, querida.”
She lowered her eyelids and murmured, “I will never forget you, either. But, while you were gone … Oh, how can I make you understand?”
“You could always start by telling me what’s been going on while I was away.”
She said, “There is this young man, a Costa Rican of good family who works for the British down the street.”
“I see. Well, we’re all human.”
“Oh, Dick, you must not think I betrayed you with another man!”
“You didn’t? That’s a new one.”
“Please don’t be so cynical. I know we were in love, and I told him I could not marry him until I made my peace with you.”
Captain Gringo tried not to smile as he said, “The guy wants to marry you, Helena? For God’s sake, take him up on it!”
She sighed and said, “I do not love him. In my heart, you shall always be my caballero. But I am afraid of winding up like my poor mother, if I married you.”
He said, “I understand, Helena. It’s rough on both of us, but perhaps it’s better this way.”
“You don’t intend to hold me to my promises to you?”
“I would if I only thought about myself instead of your happiness.”
She looked up at him with adoring tear-filled eyes and said, “Oh, you are so noble. If only you had a steady job.”
He said, “Just turn and walk away, Helena. I want to remember you as you are this moment.”
“Well, I could spend the night with you, for old time’s sake.”
“No, darling, it’s better this way. Go. Go and don’t look back.”
“But, Dick—”
“Not another word. We must be brave.”
Helena nodded, turned, and walked away. He watched her trim figure recede for a time as he wondered why guys got such a boot out of this scene in romantic novels. Then he shrugged and headed on across the park. When Gaston met him he was grinning ear to ear. Gaston grinned back and said, “I take it you got the money. I wasn’t sure you’d escape with your life!”
Captain Gringo chuckled and said, “Yeah, it was a narrow escape. As soon as we pay the other guys off, we’d better think about leaving town.”
“The world is our oyster, with money in our pockets for a change. Where do you suggest we go?”
Captain Gringo said, “I’ll tell you when we find a steamer that’s not headed anywhere we’re wanted.”
Gaston said, “Hmm, that narrows it down a bit, non?’