Chapter One

Bryan Colby was not interested. In Valentine’s Day, that is. Particularly the Valentine’s Day party Tyler Kingman was trying to force him into going to. He’d said so a thousand times at least, but his best friend Tyler just didn’t seem to get it.

“Why do you hate Valentine’s Day so much?” he whined at Bryan as they made their way to Harry’s Place, their favorite bar, on Hope Street in Santa Barbara. Not a gay bar per se, but gay-friendly enough that they didn’t fear the locals would suddenly set upon them wielding torches and pitchforks.

“You know why, Tyler. Must I go over it again?”

“But it’s such a dumb reason, and one you should be able, at your age, to get over. C’mon, Bryan, it was years ago and it was only your sister’s idea of a practical joke, for cryin’ out loud.”

“She ruined it for me forever,” Bryan said, “and that is why I am not going with you to Jacob’s party. Besides, you shouldn’t be asking me to go with you. What about Daniel?”

“What about him?”

“He’s your beau, isn’t he?”

“Huh, some beau. He’s gonna be out of town on business that whole week, so that’s why I’m asking you to go with me.”

“Oh, it gets better!” Bryan’s laughter was distinctly hollow. “Now I’m being invited to a party I don’t want to go to, but only ’cause there’s no one else who’ll go with you.”

“Well, that’s one way of looking at it, I suppose.” Tyler punched Bryan’s arm lightly. “C’mon, best buddy. I really don’t want to show up on my own.”

“Why not? You’ll know everyone there, anyway.”

“Yeah, but there might be someone new for you to meet. You haven’t had a steady man in your life in…well, it’s been ages.”

“It’s been eight months,” Bryan said. “Not that I’ve been keeping tabs. Josh left last June, so this month, it’ll be eight.”

“That’s a long time to be celibate, Bryan.”

“Tell me.” They had reached Harry’s Place and Bryan held the door open to let Tyler pass through. This time of the day it was still quiet, just some country music playing from the jukebox at the far end of the bar.

“You ever hear from him?” Tyler asked as they waited for the bartender to notice them.

“Nope. And that’s the way it’s meant to be. We parted on okay terms, but without any promise to keep in touch…and he hasn’t.”

“Hi, boys!” Charlie Hutchins, one of the oldest bartenders in town, greeted them with his hand raised waiting for high-fives from them both. “So, what’ll it be?”

“Coronas, please, Charlie,” Tyler said after slapping his hand against Charlie’s big mitt. “How you been?”

“Pretty good.” He placed the two chilled bottles in front of them. “Jacob asked me to bartend at his shindig on Valentine’s. Guess I’ll see you both there?”

“Not me.” Bryan tipped the bottle to his lips and took a long swallow of the cold brew.

The lines on Charlie’s face deepened. “Why not? I thought, of all the guys that come in here, you’d be first in line to have a looksee at the talent.”

Tyler cackled. “Good old Charlie. Always straight from the shoulder. No bullshit.”

“What he just said was bullshit!” Bryan snapped. “You know as well as I do there’ll be no talent there.”

“Hey, I’ll be there. What am I…chopped liver?”

Bryan forced out a chuckle at his friend’s pseudo-hurt expression. He patted his shoulder. “What I meant was there’ll be no new talent. You both know I’ve dated about half the guys that’ll be there over the years.”

Charlie sniggered. “Dated…that’s a different word for it.”

“Besides…” Bryan ignored the snark. “I don’t go to Valentine’s Day parties. Ever.”

Tyler sighed. “Yeah, yeah, we know. Ever since Cherise said she’d set you up with Harvey Waters, the college football quarterback, and it was really Kay Simpson in disguise.”

“Oh yeah.” Charlie sniggered again. “The one that looked like Brienne in Game of Thrones. Tall girl, big shoulders. She coulda fooled anyone into thinking she was a man. You still festering over that?”

“Okay, smart asses, listen up. Imagine yourselves in a crowded room. Everyone in on the ruse except you. Lights are dim and suddenly there he is. The guy you’ve been lusting over for a whole semester. He takes you in his arms and kisses you, tongue and everything. And fuck, I went for it. Kissing him back until everyone started hooting and giggling and the lights came back up and I’m on my ass with Kay grinning down at me and taking off the blond wig, and there’s Harvey himself laughing like a goddamn idiot. Tell me you wouldn’t feel humiliated. You wouldn’t tell them all to go fuck themselves and storm out and have to put up with days and days of people laughing behind your back? It took me a month before I could even be civil to Cherise, my own sister. I couldn’t believe she’d set me up like that.”

“Dude…” Tyler draped his arm around Bryan’s shoulders. “That was five years ago, and—”

“And you were in on it too! My best friend. I don’t know why I ever talked to you again. I should’ve punched you on the nose.”

Charlie was laughing so hard he had to excuse himself and go to the men’s room. Tyler patted Bryan’s shoulder before letting him go. “Like I said, it was a long time ago, and nothing like that is ever going to happen again. How can it? Cherise is too busy in Sacramento with her hubby and kids, Harvey lives in Seattle and Kay, bless her, is married to that lady prison warden in Folsom. Come on, Bryan. Go with me and I promise you’ll have a good time. You need a little diversion. You’re still in the dumps about Josh leaving you, and you have to get over it. You’re a good-looking guy, even if I have to say it, and I’m sure there’ll be one or two new faces at the party. Please, pretty please, go with me.”

“Oh, for…”

As if sensing Bryan was weakening in his resolve to skip the party, Tyler cozied up to him again. “Pleeeaaase…”

“Oh, all right. But if it sucks, I’m not staying.”

“It won’t suck, I promise.”

“How the hell can you promise something like that?”

“Promise what?” Charlie, back from the restroom, asked, picking up some glasses to polish.

“Oh, he’s still grumping about the party,” Tyler told him.

Charlie grimaced. “Lighten up, man. You have to get over these Valentine’s Day blues you’re mired in. It’ll be a blast. I’ll be there tending bar. You can come talk to me if you’re shy.”

“I’m not shy.” Bryan sighed. “What I am is wondering why I agreed to go with you, Tyler. I just know some jerks are gonna say, ‘Remember that party when Kay Simpson French-kissed you, and you were totally trading saliva until you realized it wasn’t Harvey Waters. Ha ha ha!’” He groaned. “I can’t do it. Sorry, I take back what I said about going with you.”

“You can’t! Oh, come on, Bryan, stop being such a wimp.”

“Yeah, man up, boy,” Charlie growled. “You’re not a kid anymore. Besides, I’m betting most of the folks going to the party either don’t remember, or couldn’t care less about what happened five years ago. Go and enjoy. That’s an order.”

Bryan laughed. “Then I guess I have no choice. Never let it be said that I am not all man!”

Charlie and Tyler fairly doubled over after that statement.

 

* * * *

 

Later, back in his apartment, Bryan knew he shouldn’t have made such a fuss over Jacob’s party. It was, as Tyler had pointed out, a practical joke that had happened five years ago, and maybe he was being a bit of drip for harping on it every year. When he and Josh had been dating, they’d gone down to the beach together, had dinner at one of the restaurants, strolled on the sand, made love when they got back to Bryan’s apartment. It had been the perfect Valentine’s Day until Josh had told him that Cherise had blabbed about the one where she’d set Bryan up. What had made it worse was that Josh had laughed himself silly while recounting Cherise’s story.

Bryan had been humiliated all over again, especially as the man he was dating had been openly laughing at him, not seeming to care about Bryan’s mortification and the fact that he’d felt betrayed by his sister. The sad part of it all, at least as far as Bryan was concerned, was that he’d really thought, if only for a brief moment, that Harvey Waters, excruciatingly gorgeous quarterback Harvey Waters, was at last going to fulfill Bryan’s lustful dreams of holding him and kissing him, like he meant it.

He’d never felt a bigger fool in all his twenty-one years, and even now at twenty-six he could still experience a hot prickle of embarrassment at the memory of that night. Tyler and other well-meaning friends had told him he was being silly to let it haunt him over the years, and they were probably right. He just couldn’t seem to forget how he’d felt when Kay/Harvey had put strong arms around him, tilted him backward then crushed their lips together. And he had returned that kiss, their tongues tangling and tussling in each other’s mouths—then he’d been dropped on his ass onto the floor amid the sounds of high-pitched laughter, cackles and guffaws. Cherise had stood there with the rest of them, laughing her fool head off. He couldn’t believe she’d betrayed him like that.

Why had he ever opened his heart to her and told her of his crush on Harvey? His mother had tried to console him, but she’d never quite understood his gayness, thinking it something he’d grow out of one day. So her sounds of sympathy were nebulous at best and, at the time, had seemed insincere to Bryan, adding to his depression. But he mustn’t have bad thoughts about his mom. She had died from cancer two years after that night.

Okay, so it was a long time ago, just like everybody tells me, and I should get over it…and I am really. It’s just not my thing going to a Valentine’s party with my BFF instead of my boyfriend. If I had a boyfriend, that is.

He knew he was being a whiny pain in the ass, and he had to stop bitching at Tyler every time he brought up the subject. Even Charlie had made it sound like he thought Bryan was being juvenile. Bryan and Tyler had a years-long friendship with the older man. Charlie had been the high school swim coach and had taken a shine to both Bryan and Tyler, encouraging them to train for swim meets. They’d done well—not champions, but they’d had their share of trophies. Charlie had come out to them when he’d retired and they’d been amazed that a gruff old bear like Charlie was gay like them. Not only that, he’d told them he was a member of a Los Angeles leather club and went down there once every month, and had done so for years.

So, Bryan, swallow your out-of-date resentment, go with Tyler to the party and try to enjoy yourself. Remember it’s only one night, and who knows, maybe there will be some new guys there. Someone to help you forget about Josh. Yeah, right. Good one, Bryan.

 

* * * *

 

Bryan waved at Sonia Barclay as he entered the offices of Barclay’s Real Estate on Sunday morning. He’d worked for Sonia for four years, since he’d first passed his real estate exam. She’d been good to him, encouraging him to take the broker’s exam once he’d gained enough experience, and had put him in the right direction to garner some of the more high-end listings in the city. He’d done well with her backing, and she’d treated him more like a son than an employee.

“Good morning, Bryan!” Sonia beckoned him into her office. “I have a good one for you today.” Bryan smiled at the elegant blonde woman behind the large leather-topped desk as she handed him a folder then pointed to the seat in front of her. “Take a pew. This one should get you the down payment on that condo you’ve been wanting to buy.”

Intrigued, Bryan flipped open the folder and stared at the photograph of a large mansion-type home surrounded by tall pine and cypress trees. “Nice,” he murmured.

“Very nice,” Sonia agreed. “It’s the Campbell place. I was at a dinner party there last night and Anne Campbell asked me to list the house for sale. She and Bert are moving back to the UK. I’m thinking seven mill. What d’you think?”

“At least that. I’ll run some comps in the area, although there’s nothing quite like this one near there. Thank you, Sonia. I’ll make an appointment to have them sign the listing.”

“Yes, I told Anne I’m sending my most competent and handsome agent. Should be an easy sell once we start advertising.” She leaned back in her chair and studied him for a moment or two. “How are you, Bryan?”

Surprised, he chuckled. “I’m fine, Sonia. Why d’you ask?”

“I get the feeling you’re still missing Josh.”

Bryan shrugged. “There’s no point in me missing him, Sonia. He’s not coming back and I am not moving to Los Angeles. Can’t stand the place. He made his choice and I didn’t figure very highly in it. So it would be like a giant waste of my time to miss him.”

“Not even a little bit? I have thought of inviting him for the weekend so you could have dinner or something. Talk to each other.”

“Please don’t, at least not for my sake.” He smiled at his boss. “It’s very sweet of you, Sonia, but I really want to move on, not live in the past.”

Sonia nodded. “Are you going to Jacob’s Valentine party?”

“Against my will, yes. Tyler wore me down, although it’s the last thing I want to do. Are you going?”

“I’ll put in an appearance…but it’s not my thing, really. I’ll feel like Whistler’s Mother among all you youngsters.”

“You’ll be by far the most glamorous woman there.”

“Flatterer. Well, I’m glad you’re going. You need a little diversion, I think.”

“Right. Well…” He got to his feet. “I’ll call the Campbells and get things rolling. Are they moving away soon?”

“Within a month, Anne said. If it doesn’t sell before then, we’ll have the keys for private showings.”

“Great. I’ll let you know when I have an appointment.”

He walked back to his own side office and greeted the other agents on the way. Settling behind his desk, he picked up the phone.