To: katkin
From: emilywoodman2
So much to tell you!
Can’t wait for you to get home! (When???? Give me a date.)
News. We have a dog (only on temporary loan) – Mattie, remember? Bob collapsed in the library and is in hospital, so we are looking after her, but only till the weekend ’cos Cassy says there’s not enough room. True, but I LOVE Mattie, she’s sweet and sad and so good and obedient. I think Cassy likes her too really but Cassy is being a bit odd.
Other (main) new thing to tell you: I am going out with Seb! (hopefully NOT temporary!!!) It has been one week and two days now. We went to see a film at the weekend. Yesterday we went for a walk together, and I met his mum. I really, really like him. A lot. I can’t quite believe this is happening to me. It feels weird and also wonderful at the same time. But I think I’m not very good at it, going out with someone I mean: I say things too quickly and Seb’s a bit moody. I know, I know. I’m usually the moody one.
Oh, and I’ve actually got myself a job! Dad doesn’t seem to mind too much. He is a bit preoccupied. I start work tomorrow.
It has rained here SO much. The fields are flooded.
How r u? Please send me a message. You haven’t texted or emailed for ages.
xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
From: katkin
To: emilywoodman2
Hi Em. Oh my God!!!!!! You and the beautiful boy!!! That is so amazingly cool and I’m even a tiny bit jealous (well, not really. I do have the gorgeous Dan after all). And I am a bit surprised too. Not in a horrible way because I know how lovely you are and everything, but just because I never thought you were that interested. Does that sound mean? It’s not meant to.
Guess what? It’s actually snowed here! We went Christmas shopping in the snow!! How cool is that?
It didn’t settle or anything, though, and now it’s raining. We are doing a Secret Santa thing for everyone in the flat before we all go home for the holidays.
What is going on with Cassy?
Who the hell are Mattie and Bob?
What do you want for Christmas? I don’t have much money so it has to be something cheap.
Dan’s old girlfriend (she’s not ‘old’ – his ex) will be around in the holidays when he goes back to London, so I’m not sure what to think. Hmmmm. They went out together for ages, like more than a year, and split up when they went to different universities. I think it’s possible she still likes him.
What’s happening at the house? When will it be ready??
Just remembered about who Bob is. Honestly, Em, only you would have an old crusty dog like that.
Gtg. Making mince pies and have to write Biology essay by tomorrow.
x Kat
To: katkin
From: emilywoodman2
How could you forget Mattie and Bob? Has your brain erased all memory prior to uni experience??? (Rachel calls this Selective Amnesia.)
I am sending you a photo of Mattie (quite good but would be better without flash).
Moat House now has a roof and doors and windows, and half a staircase!
Why don’t you bring Dan HERE for Christmas? Safe from clutches of old girlfriend, and I get to meet him and see if he is good enough for you.
(I know, million reasons why NOT: caravan too small. Cold. No privacy. Dad being embarrassing. Etc., etc.) BUT he could bring a tent and thermal underwear (ha! very sexy!). What is he like? Send photo.
Would you prefer 1. earrings? Or 2. silk scarf? (For Christmas.) I can get a discount.
xxx Em
I wait. No reply pops up. She’s gone to make the mince pies or whatever.
I have another look at the photos of Mattie. She looks so cute with her sweet face, sad eyes, her soft ears that fold down at the top. If I print one off, Cassy can take it with her when she goes to see Bob in hospital after work tomorrow. He must be worrying about her.
Today is our first day at work at the Christmas market, after school.
‘You watch the bags and scarves at the front, to make sure no one nicks anything,’ Rachel says, ‘and I’ll keep an eye on the jewellery.’
The market’s packed. We’ve had loads of people buying stuff already: earrings and the big bright baskets, mostly, and one guy who bought three identical pink silk scarves for the three different ladies in my life. Yuck. Rachel pulls a face and it’s all I can do to stop myself throwing up.
‘Arrogant git,’ Rachel says, once she’s taken the money off him. ‘He’s not even good-looking.’
‘Perhaps he’s very wealthy,’ I say. ‘More likely, he’s got three aunties, not three girlfriends!’
It’s a bit quieter while people go off to watch the lady mayor switch on the lights. The Salvation Army band starts playing Christmas carols round the huge Christmas tree in front of the church.
Rachel and I mess about, trying on the expensive hand-embroidered silk scarves. Polly said we could wear one each, to model them. It makes more people buy them, apparently. Rachel chooses a turquoise silk one. She makes me try something bright: not your usual black. So I end up looking like a Christmas parcel, wrapped in orange and shocking pink.
‘Wow! Didn’t recognise you two gorgeous girls!’ Cassy suddenly appears, smiling at us. She hands us each a plastic cup of hot spiced apple juice. ‘To warm you up!’ she says.
‘What are you doing here?’ I say.
‘Rob and I thought we’d come out for the evening,’ she says. ‘We’ll be at the Jazz cafe later, if you want a lift home?’
‘Aw!’ Rachel says, when Cassy’s disappeared through the crowds again. ‘Isn’t she nice to you?’
‘Suppose,’ I say. ‘I could easily have got the bus.’
‘Isn’t your mystery man coming to collect you, then?’
My cheeks go hot. ‘Seb? No.’
‘You haven’t fallen out already?’
‘No.’
Have we? He was really pissed off with me, for saying that stuff. I just didn’t think. But he shouldn’t be so sensitive. I don’t tell Rachel what happened. I’m still keeping Seb to myself. Don’t want her analysing everything the way she does.
‘How do these look?’ Rachel preens in front of the mirror hanging at the side of the stall, checking out a necklace of chunky green beads.
‘Good. Very fetching,’ I say. ‘Put on the matching earrings too.’
It’s more like dressing up and playing, than work. We’re getting paid seven pounds an hour each for having fun! And Polly’s right: whatever Rachel and I are wearing, we sell more of. So we sell lots of orange scarves, and bright pink ones, and turquoise ones, and chunky necklaces. Mostly to middle-aged men. How weird is that?
At closing time, we count up the money. We’ve taken over two hundred and sixty pounds.
‘Blimey!’ Rachel says. ‘Who’d have thought it!’
We have a laugh with the security men, who seem to find the idea of roast chestnuts very amusing.
‘Don’t ask,’ Rachel says to me.
People begin to drift off. The street cleaners arrive to sweep up the piles of litter. We pack up all the scarves and stuff into boxes, like Polly showed us, and close the wooden doors at the front of the stall and padlock them.
Rachel’s supposed to be taking the money home with her for safe-keeping, so I walk with her back to her house, in case she gets mugged or something.
‘Coming in?’
‘Nah. Going to meet Cassy and Dad and get my lift.’
‘See you at school tomorrow, then.’
I zigzag back through the narrow streets at the bottom of town to the Jazz cafe. The streets are still buzzing with late-night shoppers. I go past the crowd of homeless people huddled on the steps waiting for the night shelter to open. Most of them have got dogs: quiet, well-behaved ones, like Mattie. I wonder about that, the way the dogs always seem contented. Perhaps they like the company. Or the freedom, being outside all day. Perhaps their owners give them lots of love and attention.
I spot Dad and Cassy through the cafe window before they see me. It’s strange just catching sight of them like that, framed in the lit window, their heads bent towards each other, engrossed in talking. It’s as if I see them properly, as they are, instead of through the normal filter of my own relationship with them. He’s holding both her hands across the table, and then he leans over and kisses her. They look happy.
I feel almost awkward, going in to join them. It’s a strange feeling.
‘Ah! There you are!’ Dad looks up and grins. ‘I hear you were doing a roaring trade.’
‘Yes.’
‘Want something to eat? Or a drink or something?’ He pulls over a chair, so I can join them at the table for two.
‘I’d rather get home. Unless you two want to stay longer?’
‘I’ll just go to the loo,’ Cassy says. ‘Won’t be long.’
Dad shifts round to face me. ‘Tired?’
I nod.
‘Cassy’s been a bit upset. She went up to the hospital after work. To visit the homeless bloke.’
‘Bob.’
‘Him. Yes. But they wouldn’t let her see him. He has some infection or something. He’s pretty sick. They’ve put him in a room by himself. So Cassy and I had a long chat about the dog, and we decided we really can’t keep her, Em. I’m sorry . . .’
‘And?’
‘So we dropped her off at the dogs’ home. On the way over here, tonight. I know you’ll be disappointed. But it’s the best thing, in the circumstances.’
How dare he say that?
I hate you, I want to shout. You tell me here, in a crowded cafe, so I can’t make a fuss. Coward.
Dad waits for me to say something. But I won’t.
‘I’m sorry, Em, but please don’t go upsetting Cassy even more.’
It’s a horrible betrayal. I’m furious with them both. And the fact that Cassy was being all nice when she came over to the stall, when in reality she’d just got rid of Mattie . . . it’s unbearable.
‘We can visit her,’ Cassy says in the car on the way home. ‘Take her for walks whenever we want. I’ve registered us, so we can just turn up there and take her out.’
I don’t say a word all the way back. I don’t speak to them at the caravan either. I go to bed without saying goodnight.
I send Seb a text.
Dad is so mean. Has put Mattie in the dogs’ home. I am so sad. Didn’t even say goodbye to her.
I wait, but he doesn’t reply.
I cry into the pillow.
I hate everyone. Living here is shit.