Breaking the mould. Flake (1920) – as unique as a fingerprint, they say. But tastier.
Breaking the mould. Flake (1920) – as unique as a fingerprint, they say. But tastier.
Here come the girls! Some twenty-odd of them down the years, in fact; each one winsomely wrapping her lips around a fat, ribbed shaft of sweet, delicious chocolate in a series of adverts increasingly intent on steaming up the glasses of nervous, starch-collared middle managers the land over. Such simmering sensuality may have been lost on runny-nosed rug rats, but dads were reportedly consumed on the spot by a terrible lust, which must have been quite off-putting if you were trying to make a cuppa in the middle of 3-2-1.
In fact, back in the early black and white era, Flake girls fantasised about nothing more exciting than waterfalls, pony-trekking and ‘sixpence-worth of heaven’, which is hardly bonkbuster territory. (No mention of a tuppence, for starters.) It took the creative muscle of Norman Icke (also responsible for the Curly Wurly and Milk Tray ads) and Ronnie Bond (not the Troggs ex-drummer) to forge the cast-iron classic ‘Only the crumbliest, flakiest chocolate’ jingle and remind us it ‘tastes like chocolate never tasted before’, although they singularly failed to point out that it also drops crumbs down your shirt and onto Mum’s best cushions like never before. Presumably the Flake girls took to so seductively unwrapping their choc bars al fresco ’cos they were sick and tired of being nagged about leaving tell-tale specks on the sofa.
Like water for chocolate. Flake ads get steamy circa 1991.
Thenceforth, colour television was treated to a heavy rotation of soft-focus semi-erotic vignettes set in fields bursting with poppies or sunflowers, and plots involving runaway gypsy caravans, untethered rowing boats, and sudden summer downpours. (All the better for drenching those doe-eyed beauties in their clingy, sheer and see-through clothes, eh, lads?) Through the ‘70s and ‘80s a succession of sultry models succumbed to the Flake’s mouth-watering chocolate charms, including former Miss World Eva Rueber-Staier (whose ad was pulled, such was its perceived lasciviousness), royal squeeze Catrina Skepper (trading in Prince Andrew for something slightly less ostentatious) and, in 1987, Debbie Leng, scantily clad and draped, legs akimbo, in the window seat of a chateau while a gecko scuttled inexplicably across an unattended phone. (The lizard ‘suggested the exotic’ claimed Icke later. Leng herself went on to hook up with Roger Taylor of Queen fame. Draw your own conclusions there.) Arguably the best-remembered of the ads, however, featured Scouse Lisa Stansfield lookalike Rachel Brown luxuriating in an overflowing bath. Prime spoof-fodder for the likes of Jasper Carrott (‘Here’s your problem, love. It’s Flake wrappers in the plughole’), the ad also attained legendary playground status when rumours circulated that ‘the girl in it overdosed on Ecstasy and ended up in the nuthouse’. (Chinese whispers, as it turns out: Brown was hospitalised after allegedly being spiked with Class As at a birthday party and made a full recovery.)
However, that flooded Venetian bathroom coincidentally harks back to Cadbury’s initial inspiration for the Flake, as it was a lowly factory employee who spotted that excess chocolate spilling from the moulds cascaded down in a stream of thin sheets, creating a distinctive texture. Never, it must be said, has an industrial accident been repackaged so successfully and sold so pruriently. Mars’s similarly phallic chocolate log, the Ripple, failed to chop down the mighty Flake, possibly because it didn’t have a powerhouse creative marketing team behind it, possibly because it was noticeably that bit smaller, or possibly just because it rhymed with ‘nipple’. A rebrand in 1987 saw Ripple embraced into the premium Galaxy fold, and 1992 added further length and girth to the bar, making it immediately more popular with women. Tsk! Typical. And, though even Cadbury have long since axed A-rated allusions to fellatio from their branding campaign, it will be a good while yet before those Flake ads drop out of any bloke’s top ten sexiest/sexist formative moments.
Flake + ice cream = 99. Although no one quite knows why.
The Lady of the Flake? Cadbury’s adds very little to the Arthurian Canon, circa 1970.