“Ask me, Cassie.” They had only just returned to the living room. Flynn had avoided this moment his entire adult life. But he’d never be able to look himself in the mirror again if he avoided it with Cassie. “I’ve told a million lies in my life, but I can’t lie to you anymore. Ask me the three questions I asked you, and I’ll tell you the truth.”
She held out her hands to him, the same way she’d reached for Ruby a short while ago. And just like the baby, he grasped them like a lifeline.
“Before I ask you anything, there’s something you should know.” She moved closer, close enough that when she went up onto her toes, her lips were nearly against his. “I love you.” She pressed a finger to his lips to forestall any protests. “And don’t you dare say I haven’t known you long enough to fall in love. I don’t need any more time than this to know what’s in my heart. And that it’s only ever beat this way for you.”
If hearing her say she loved him hadn’t already been enough to steal his breath away, her mouth against his would have done it.
Her kiss echoed the three little words as passion wound like a velvet ribbon around them.
When she finally drew back, she lifted her hand to his cheek. “And now I can’t wait to hear all about you, Flynn. Your secrets, your edges and dark places—even if none of them have ever succeeded in covering up the light inside you, no matter what you think.”
Desperation clawed at him to take everything she offered. The absolution, the promise of a happy future with her pure sunshine smile lighting up every moment.
But he knew how insidious that hope could be…especially when he’d done nothing at all during the past twenty years to earn it. Until Ruby came into his life, he’d lived only for himself.
Forcing himself to let go of her hands and step away, he made himself answer the first question, though she hadn’t yet asked it. “My world turned upside down pretty much from the beginning.”
She frowned, but didn’t reach for him again as he went to stand by the window. Night in the forest should have been pitch black, but Cassie—being Cassie—had hung a metal sculpture in the shape of a heart on a nearby tree. It was strung with little white lights so that when darkness fell, the heart was illuminated.
In the reflection of the window, he saw her slowly move to the couch and sit.
“My parents should never have been parents,” he said. “I came nine months after they got together. My sister was born fifteen months after me. Fortunately, we were the only two kids they had. Your parents had the ultimate meet-cute romance, something straight out of a rom-com movie. Whereas my dad met my mom because he was her dealer.”
Flynn made himself turn to face Cassie, certain he’d see shock on her face from his revelation. Instead, she simply looked like she wanted to wrap him in a big hug.
He would have given anything for that hug. But he’d only just started spilling his guts, and if he stopped, he wasn’t sure he’d be able to start again. Not when every word he spoke felt like it was covered in spikes.
“He was a nasty drunk, and she was weak enough to think she loved him. Loved him in a way she never loved me or Sarah. We were only ever in his way, and we learned to hide in corners or behind closed doors. I did everything I could to protect my sister, but—” His throat closed as he thought of all the days, the nights, he hadn’t been able to keep his sister out of harm’s way by taking her place. “I was a small kid and didn’t fill out until much later, so I couldn’t keep her safe.”
“Flynn.”
He was momentarily paralyzed as he watched Cassie cross the room to him. But then he remembered. One touch would break him. And then, given the force of his need—and his desperation to know a truly loving touch for once in his life—he might break her.
He made himself take a step back, hoping she’d understand his clear cue.
Stay away for your own good.
By the time she stopped barely a foot from him, his chest was heaving as though he’d just sprinted down the long driveway.
“I left when I was seventeen,” he ground out. “Dropped out of high school and headed for Los Angeles on a Greyhound bus. From everything I had read and seen on TV, Hollywood was as different from the middle-of-nowhere town I grew up in as I could find. I came up with my new persona on that bus. Flynn from Errol Flynn. Stewart from James Stewart. My real name is—”
He couldn’t manage the words, not just yet. But Cassie waited until he was ready.
“Joe.” He let out a long breath. “Joe Miller.”
He saw a droplet of water fall to the floor in front of him before he realized a tear had slid down his cheek. A tear for that kid who had been so damn scared of everything that his greatest accomplishment had been deleting himself from the world.
The next thing he knew, Cassie’s arms were around him. She was stroking his hair, his back, and pressing kisses to his cheeks in the same way she so often kissed Ruby.
For all that he’d told himself she’d leave once she knew the truth, now that he was finally being honest…he’d known better. Known she would only come closer. That she would hold on to him and not let go.
But having her arms around him scared him even more than her leaving would have. Because now that he knew how good it felt to have Cassie to hold, he also knew how horribly empty his life would be without her in it.
Had that fear not been eating away inside of him, he might have given in and wrapped his arms around her too. Instead, he made himself stand stiff and still. Made himself grind his teeth to keep from begging her not to leave.
She brushed away his tears with her fingertips. “Something tells me I would have loved Joe Miller just as much as I love Flynn Stewart.” Her smile was as warm and real as her heart. A heart that was so big she had found room even for him.
“You shouldn’t love either of us.”
“Don’t you dare tell me how to feel about you, Flynn.” It was a relief that she hadn’t called him Joe. He could never be that boy again, not even for her. “You loved your sister, just as you love Ruby.”
“I did love her, but I let her down. She died because I didn’t fight hard enough for her.”
“That’s not true.” She was fierce in her defense of him.
“It is. I should have moved heaven and earth to keep her from falling into the same dead end of drink and drugs and abusive relationships as our parents. I should have stopped at nothing to get her out, to get her away from that world and everyone in it. I shouldn’t have let her turn down my help again and again and again over the years. But in the end, I only saved myself. I left her behind to overdose in some dirty room. Dying like our dad, who ended up OD’ing in prison after he killed someone in a drug deal. Dying like our mom, who drank herself to death. If I had known Sarah was pregnant, I would have made her leave with me, no matter how much she needed the drugs or whatever guy she thought she couldn’t live without.”
Now that he’d started to tell the truth, he had to get the rest out, had to come completely clean.
“I’ve been lying to everyone since I was seventeen. Lying about where I grew up, lying about who I am, lying about where I went to school, lying about my parents dying in a car crash. I even created fake social media pages to back up my stories so that no one could catch me out. And all the while, I convinced myself it was the only way I could start over, start fresh, to keep from being dragged down by my family history of drugs, booze, and death. I told myself I wasn’t hurting anyone by becoming someone new. Until I met you.” He nearly reached for her then, before remembering that he didn’t deserve to touch her. Didn’t deserve to have her in his arms. “Until I lied to you. And I felt like the lowest of the low.”
After a few moments, she asked, “Is that everything you need to tell me, Flynn?”
God no. There was so much more he needed her to know.
That she was the best person he’d ever known.
That she’d brought more joy into his life than he’d ever thought to have—and into Ruby’s life too.
That he’d started falling for her the first time she smiled at Ruby.
And that she wasn’t the only one who had fallen in love. He’d barely made it to that first night, when she’d come to take care of Ruby, and him too, before he’d fallen for her.
She was still waiting for his response. “I need to tell you what I’m afraid of,” he said.
It was the second question on the list that always defined his work. For once in his life—for Cassie—he was going to face up to the hard truths rather than hiding behind fictional characters.
“I’m afraid of this.” His heart was pounding so hard as he spoke, he could feel the pulse points throbbing in his neck, his wrists. “I’m afraid of finding someone like you…and knowing you won’t stay, because you deserve so much more. So much better.”
“Why don’t you think you can conquer that fear, Flynn?” Cassie not only wasn’t leaving, she also wasn’t afraid to ask him question three. “What makes you think you’re not good enough, tough enough, determined enough, to be not only everything I deserve, but everything you deserve too?” Before he could respond, she moved close again and put her arms around his neck. “Especially when I’ve known all along that you already are.”
Before he could respond, her mouth was on his, and he was lost in the sweet passion—and the unconditional love—of her kiss.