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My time here on campus is flying by faster than I expected. The days feel more like hours, but my perception on everything has been changing ever since I took on the mantle of death. Day four of my stay at the mages school brings me to a building south of the dorms to attend the lecture on blasts. The cookie cutter building bore a symbol of a triangle with a circle within it marking it as the designated building for blast spell training.
I only received two books for this class, which is a relief. The first book is called ‘Soul Burn and Casting Economics’, and the second book is ‘ Line of Sight and Mental Imagery’. These two books are pretty small compared to the books from all the other classes I have taken so far. The size of the books don't really matter to me any more because reading feels like drinking water when really thirsty. It attempts to quenche something inside of me. It’s kind of like being hungry and you keep eating but no matter what you eat you just can’t satisfy that feeling of hunger. The only down side to reading my books is the fact I have to have them all read in a day and that often means I get little to no sleep.
The class room is just like all the others, but a heavy smell of sandalwood hangs in the air stinging my eyes. I make my way to the front row of the class so I can take in as much as possible during the lecture. Ever since the mantle has awakened, my mind has been starving for stimulation. I find myself needing to feed on any knowledge I can get a hold of. It really doesn't matter what knowledge, as long as it’s something new to me. Each word I read, and concept I consume, I can feel something growing inside of me granting me power, perception, and at times the fear of never being able to know enough.
The door in the back of the classroom opens, intensifying the smell of sandalwood to almost an unbearable level. A tall man with jet black hair steps through the doorway and approaches the teachers desk. The man is just out right gorgeous. I don’t mean that in a sexual sense but I feel like this man is the reason you would have to lock up your daughters at night. Not because he has any evil intent but because they would willingly follow him just to be in his presence. The man’s charisma with legs.
“ Good evening class, it’s my extreme pleasure to be teaching you. You have all made it to your fourth year of schooling, and I am so proud of all of you. Today, we speak of spells that are destructive in nature so please take this lecture seriously, and treat the use of such magics respectfully.
Blast spells are primarily used for combat, but can also be used to clear away obstacles in your path. They also hold the highest potential for burning your soul if you use them with aggression. I know this is an odd concept to use something meant to be destructive without being aggressive. Aggression is a poison that will cause you to focus, but pull you into an embrace that can cause you to be forgetful of the extent of the magic you’re using. Oh, where are my manners? I have forgotten to introduce myself. I am Randal Smithers, but you may all simply call me Randy if any of you feel the need to ask any questions.
Blast spells manifest themselves in one of three distinct ways. First you have the missile which is a straight forward projectile. This kind of blast will travel in a true straight line and attempt to push its way past all obstacles until it hits its intended target. If you are willing to expend additional energy and turn your missile blast spell into a focus spell you can guide the missile through the air giving it the ability to dodge and go around objects to reach its intended target. Regardless of which version you desire to cast, you must keep in mind the distance the missile needs to travel to strike its intended target for that will truly dictate the amount of energy that will need to be consumed to bring the missile to its desired target.
Blast spells can also pulsate from their caster. These kinds of blast spells are referred to as shockwave blast spells. Think of the expanding dome spell you learned in shields last year but imagine it possessing destructive power protecting you by destroying that which would bring you harm instead of pushing it away. I like to describe this spell this way to try to add to the images you have already created in your mind from the shield spells. It's like painting, but instead of painting something completely new you just have to change one of the colors in an already existing painting. It is far easier to do than envisioning something from scratch.
The final manifestation of destruction that a blast spell can create is the burst. The best way to describe this spell is to think of a hand grenade. You channel raw destructive power into your grasp, barely stable until you toss it, setting its power free upon impact. If you need to delay the release you may also create an orb of such destruction that needs additional time to reach its climax of energy before dispersing its destructive force. Remember class, creativity is what makes these spells effective, utilizing every drop of energy you put into them, but remember to be safe and respect the forces from which you create.
All blast spells have an energy factor. This simply means the more energy you pour into them the more destructive they will become. If you don’t watch the flow of energy you’re putting into your spells you might find that you’re the one who is being destroyed by your very own creation. Again, I urge you to respect the process and what you create, and what you create will respect you in return. Lose sight of that and you leave things to chance. This my dear students is all I have to share with you for today's lecture, for the destructive forces of magic are simple, but unforgiving. Handle them as you would a lover. Respect the process, be open about what you need from the magic and only ask for what you need. Become aggressive with the process and you will lose that lover and with it maybe your life.”
Despite the unusual explanations used to describe the blast magic, it’s easy to understand. I can't say how much of that is the mantle versus Randy’s word selection but I still felt rather odd nonetheless. I’m learning faster, absorbing the information like a sponge or better yet flour to melted butter. I must be hungry if that metaphor is crossing my mind as an option. I keep losing time to my studies not remembering to eat until my stomachs reminds me with its death rattle.
Part of me wishes I can stay to truly learn what all this school has to offer, but all of this is just the beginning. I have yet to even start truly fulfill my role, but as time passes I fear it less and less. I walk to the door to leave the room and that ringing starts coming back again but louder. The ringing pierces my ear drums leaving them aching. My heart starts beating faster accompanied by the feeling that I need to be somewhere right this second, but dont even have the slightest idea of where that somewhere might be. I grasp at my chest and start breathing slowly to calm myself down. The ringing dies down and fades off into the distance. I'm not sure what happened but I'm pretty sure it all has something to do with a role I have yet to fulfill.
I have begun to really throw myself into study after my classes. I leave my classes and head straight to the dining hall to pick up whatever is fastest so I can eat as I study. I just keep reading page after page to try to ignore the fact I’m changing. I fear if I stop learning for even a second, that my mind will wander and I will find myself thinking about the changes that are happening to me. That my thoughts will defeat me with all the questions that I have yet to answer about what is happening to me.
If I really think about it, that’s the lesser evil. Even though it has been years since my ex wife left with our son, my feelings still haunt me. The feeling of loneliness as I lay in bed at night remembering how it was to feel the warmth of someone I loved so deeply. The guilt of all the years I have missed while my son was still so young. I feel like I have failed him at times even though I didn't miss those years by choice. I can’t change the past so I do as I always do and just bottle the feelings and pack away the memories to deal with at a later time. Each time these memories come up I just remind myself that I am doing this for them as well so they can know happiness and live a full life, even if it might cost me mine in the end.