I want to be like MONKEY BAR MATT!

He’s kind of like an acrobat.

He risks bruises and scrapes and bumps and scars

To be the junior school WHIZZ on the monkey bars.

Matt moves in a blur as he’s to-ing and fro-ing

Swinging so fast, we don’t know where he’s going.

He does the whole thing with no help from his mum.

If I tried the same, I would land on my BUM.

‘Pip!’ my friends cry. ‘Don’t get up there and risk it!

Just sit back down, eat your cheese and your biscuit.’

But they just don’t get it – I’m not much of a sitter.

And soon they’ll all learn that PIP AIN’T NO QUITTER!

I spend ALL NIGHT awake on my small bottom bunk

Thinking all of the thoughts I’m not meant to thunk.

Like, how can I make myself more like a MONKEY?

Maybe bananas for brekkie? Mashed, fried or chunky?

So I mix them with crusts to put hair on my chest

And I tickle my armpits (but they DON’T smell the best).

I try stretching my arms by touching my toes

And I keep myself balanced by picking my nose.

Once I get to the playground, I give it my all.

But just one rung in and, oh no … I FALL!

I dare not let Matt see my face, so I hide.

And I run all the way to the SUPER tall slide.

I zoom down the slope and Matt sees it all.

‘Wheeeeeeeeee!’ I can’t seem to stop myself call.

But Matt’s eyes have gone shiny, and with the shakiest lip

He yells … ‘I want to be like SLIPPERY DIP PIP!’