Maisie Feathers awoke with a fright:

Something had gone ker-bump in the night,

Plus bang and crack and rattle and moan,

And clank and cackle and bleat and groan.

The spooky noises made Maisie’s heart pound

But she ventured outside for a look-around.

Dark shapes were moving around the yard;

Maisie Feathers crept close, on her guard.

Slowly, quietly, not making a sound …

Till she tripped on a bucket and sprawled to the ground!

‘What do you want?’ she quavered, then squealed

As the shapes drifted over, their faces concealed.

Just then the clouds parted, and the moon shone bright

Causing Maisie to sigh with relief at the sight.

She’d found the cause of the unearthly bleating:

It was only the sheep, having some kind of meeting.

‘It’s past midnight,’ she said. ‘You should all be asleep.’

At which the flock bared their fangs – they were vampire sheep!

Maisie sprang to her feet and ran, for who knew

What a vicious vampire sheep might do?

Luckily, she recalled, the pigpen was near,

So she vaulted the fence. ‘I’ll be safe hiding here.’

But the pigs, though usually placid and happy,

Started howling like wolves, all snarling and snappy.

Back over the fence Maisie went with a shout

In a narrow escape from a slavering snout

To a field alive with the mournful moans,

Shrieks and yowls and harrowing groans

Of ghoulish cows who, instead of moo,

Made Maisie jump with a bellowed BOO!

On trembling legs she fled, and then

Ran straight into a zombie hen!

It lifted a wing to rattle a chain,

And said: ‘I want to eat your brain.’

Maisie cried aloud in utter despair:

‘Oh no! I’m trapped in an awful nightmare.’

The zombie gave a bloodcurdling cluck.

‘It’s no nightmare, Maisie – you’re a dead duck!’

Screaming, she ran towards the lake

But by the water did a double take

At her moonlit reflection, and let out a screech:

‘Dead duck’ was not just a figure of speech!

The mirrored Maisie was an eerie sight,

Her feathers glowing a ghostly white

And – Maisie let out a horrified shriek –

Was that blood oozing from the tip of her beak?!

She gazed at herself in total surprise,

Taken aback by her gleaming red eyes.

The fearsome fiends had reached her by now

And stared at Maisie with furrowed brow

As she turned to them and said: ‘Don’t mock,

But I’ve just had a terrible shock.

I thought you were hideous, all of you,

Yet now I see that I’m hideous too.

‘This farmyard of horrors is where I belong

Though I can’t imagine what I did wrong

To deserve such a horrible, dreadful end;

In life, I was a most faithful friend,

I always said pardon and thank you and please

And remembered to cover my mouth when I sneezed.

‘But I must have been bad, much worse than I think

For the sheep over there want my blood to drink,

The pigs and cows are on the attack

And a chicken wants my brain for a snack.’

She finished talking and immediately after

The assembled animals howled with laughter.

‘Maisie Feathers, what on Earth do you mean?

There’s no farmyard of horrors; it’s just Halloween.

You must have slumbered so deep and so hearty

That you forgot all about the costume party.

There’s nothing truly frightening ado,

We’re just dressed to scare – and so are you.

‘Talcum powder has made you glow

As white as if you were sprinkled with snow;

Your beak is covered in tomato sauce

To resemble gruesome blood-dripping jaws;

And finally, to complete your disguise,

You’ve got contact lenses for gleaming red eyes.’

‘Why, you’re right,’ said Maisie. ‘I must confess

I’d forgotten we agreed to wear fancy dress.

Well done, everyone, your costumes are fine –

Some even more convincing than mine.

Indeed, you all gave me such a fright.

I feared I would be your dinner tonight.’

Then Maisie Feathers, with a dignified quack,

Waddled off to the barn without looking back.

She popped out her contacts, wiped sauce from her beak,

Brushed the talc from her feathers and gave them a tweak,

Until there was no trace of a ghost to be seen;

In future, she thought, I’ll skip Halloween.