IF DOGS RULED THE WORLD
• Lots of walks whenever we want.
• Same for head scritches, ear rumples and neck rubs. Some belly scrumbles, too, would be nice.
• Self-throwing sticks.
• No one will be allowed to pretend to throw the ball and then hide it behind their back.
• If we go in the car, you have to tell us whether it’s going to be a trip to the vet or just a chance to stick our snouts out of the window, whee!
• LOTS OF FOOD!
• Everyone must tell us that we’re good dogs all the time, because we worry about it sometimes.
• On-demand streaming Dogflix service, with constantly running funny dog memes, inspirational movies about dogs saving people and jokes about cats.
• If owners absolutely have to leave home to go to work, we get to come along.
• NO CATS, except ones who are part of our family, and even those have to promise not to use their claws on us. Or jump out and scare us. Or look at us like they have evil on their mind.
• NO THUNDER EVER!
• SAME FOR FIREWORKS!
We already do, don’t we?
