By Thanksgiving, I felt as big as a house. Even the doctor thought I looked closer to full-term than a mere six months, and she just kept saying, “Wow, that’s a big head,” in the sonogram room. It wasn’t as funny as Lara found it, especially when everything else in my body stopped working the way it should have.
I craved crazy things and the smell of turkey made me nauseated, although it had been tuna that made me sick just a few days before. I had the craziest sex dreams and was horny most of the time; even the thought of Max and the night we spent together sent me into a drowsy daydream. My boobs hurt, my back hurt, my feet swelled... Staying in the classroom every day grew harder and harder, even though my kiddos were wonderful and Lara helped out as much as she could.
The weather got cooler and the sun set earlier and earlier every day, although I didn’t sleep much and spent many hours pacing through the house as I talked to the baby growing inside me. It still felt like a dream, a strange surreal movie that starred me but wasn’t about me. I couldn’t explain to Lara what I meant, but something was missing. Something really important was missing.
It took me to a few days before Thanksgiving before I knew what it was for sure—Max still didn’t know. I hadn’t heard anything from Crystal Springs or that guy Jed, and in my heart I didn’t want to have the baby without knowing that Max knew for sure. If he chose not to have anything to do with us, then that was one thing. But I couldn’t tolerate his absence just because he hadn’t been told.
So when Lara left to go to California to see her family, inviting me to come along although I declined, I bought a last-minute ticket to the only link I had left to find Max: the Internet search for his family in Crook’s Hollow, North Dakota. The tiny motel in Crook’s Hollow was booked for the week, so I had to settle for a slightly overpriced B&B one town over. Since there wasn’t a car rental desk at the landing strip in Crook’s Hollow, the B&B would pick me up.
I packed every warm piece of clothing I owned and for the first time was damn grateful the baby made me feel like an overheated gas furnace. I sent Lara a text message explaining I was going to look for Max in North Dakota, and she immediately called to tell me I was crazy and needed to keep my fat ass at home. She made me laugh and cry at the same time, and the cab driver started to look nervous about having a crazy pregnant lady in his car on the way to the airport.
Even the airline people raised their eyebrows when they saw me march up to the desk, a slightly frazzled woman with a beachball under her sweater. The first thing out of my mouth was, “I’m only six months; the baby is just huge.”
She smiled and tapped at her computer. “Congratulations. When are you due?”
“February, right around Valentine’s Day.” I handed her my ID and card and rolled the small suitcase over so she could help pick it up to weigh it. “Not soon enough, is the real answer.”
She smiled more and handed over my boarding pass. “Good luck with that, and happy Thanksgiving.”
It took me way too long to walk to the gate, though I didn’t rush and had planned ahead for a couple of extra hours so I could build in potty breaks. I thought I wouldn’t be able to sleep on the early-afternoon flight, not with as anxious as I was, but the moment that engine began to hum and the takeoff turbulence cleared up, I was out like a light and didn’t wake up until the bells went off and the captain announced we’d begun our descent to Crook’s Hollow.
That started my hands off shaking all over again, and I gripped the armrests as I stared out at the quickly approaching land. This was it. I’d get to the B&B and check the local phone book for the Sanders family, or ask whoever picked me up if they knew where the Sanders family lived. Then I could figure out how to talk to Max, and schedule my return flight so I could go home and finally focus on getting ready for the baby to arrive.
It was nearly dark by the time we touched down and walked across the tarmac. One of the pilots held my arm as the wind gusted and sent snow and ice swirling around, and I nearly slid across the ice all the way to the small building that served as the terminal. I thanked my lucky stars for the nice manners as someone else managed my suitcase and carry-on, and made sure I was safely inside before going about their own business.
I took a breath and wrapped my coat around myself, since it didn’t quite zip up and I couldn’t reach the bottom of the zipper to even get it started anymore—not with a giant stomach between me and the zipper. I had no idea who would be picking me up from the B&B, but as I texted Lara to let her know I’d arrived safely, a cheerful voice said, “And you must be my guest.”
I blinked and turned, staggering a little as my balance shifted, and found a young woman staring at my belly with wide eyes. Her long dark hair was braided into two plaits, one on each side of her head, that dangled against her shoulders under a cute knit hat with a pouf ball on top. I smiled and braced a hand at my lower back. “Yes, I’m Caroline. Thanks for driving out to get me. I was surprised there isn’t a car rental option here.”
“Oh, it’s usually too dangerous for outsiders to drive around here, especially in winter.” Her cheer returned as she reached for my bags and tilted her head at a large door on the other side of the tiny terminal. “I’ll bring the truck around front so you don’t have to walk. Unfortunately, your room is upstairs in the B&B, but I’ll see if we can maybe move people around so there aren’t a bunch of stairs between you and a good night’s sleep.”
“I’ll be fine,” I said. I followed, concentrating on where I put my feet. “I only look huge. I’ve still got twelve weeks to go, believe it or not.”
“Wow. Twins? Maybe triplets?” She grinned, then parked me near the door as she manhandled my suitcase through. “Stay right there. I’ll be back with the truck. Don’t want you slipping on the ice.”
I shivered and wrapped my scarf a little tighter, watching as she disappeared into what started to look like a blizzard. Hopefully she could drive through the storm over to the B&B, otherwise we would both be sleeping at the airport.
“Caroline?”
I froze, my heart in my throat, as a man spoke behind me. I turned, almost expecting Max, but faced instead someone I vaguely recognized. The dark hair and ball cap made it easier to place, and it helped that he offered his hand with an easy smile. “I don’t know if you remember me. I’m Jed, from up north.”
“Oh, of course.” I tried a smile and shook his head. “I’m surprised to see you here.”
His attention drifted to my stomach and then back to my face, and his smile grew a little more. “I’m down here visiting family. You must be here for something else?”
“Sort of.” I didn’t want to just put Max’s business—or mine—out there for a total stranger, so I shrugged and fumbled around for my mittens. “Just up here on some personal business, visiting friends. How have you been?”
“Can’t complain.” His expression turned pensive, though, and he lowered his voice. “You’re not here looking for Sanders, are you?”
I didn’t like the question. I couldn’t tell why, exactly, nor why it felt like an incredible invasion for him to ask me that. I shook my head. “No, not him.”
“Good.” Jed actually looked relieved, though he kept looking around to see whether anyone else was paying attention. “He was just here the other day, completely unstable. He was thrown in jail for beating a girl, put her in the hospital. Be careful, in case he sees you. He doesn’t like it when women come looking for him, and he’ll assume the worst even though you’re not looking for him.”
The look on his face told me well enough that Jed didn’t believe that I wasn’t looking for Max.
“Well, look what the cat dragged in,” a cold voice said behind me, and I turned to find that the B&B lady had reappeared, a truck idling at the curb behind her. Her eyes flashed with irritation and anger as she looked at Jed. “Jedediah McComber. Your brother would like to have a word with you. Why don’t you go around to the house to say hi?”
Jed’s smile never slipped but something in his eyes hardened. “That’s right at the top of my list.”
“Good.” Her smile turned a hell of a lot more forced, and she held her hand out to me. “All right now, Miss Caroline, let’s get you settled and we can get on our way.”
I glanced between them, uneasy with the tension, and shuffled a little closer to the woman. “Maybe I’ll see you around, Jed. Have a happy Thanksgiving.”
“You, too, Caroline,” he said. He squeezed my hand and smiled again. “You let me know if you need anything, and I’ll be happy to help you out. Just be careful, hear?”
Then he strode off, maybe to go find his brother like the woman said, and left me standing there in the blinking lights as the door opened and a gust blew snow and ice through the whole building.