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l'amore - The Love
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Valle d’Itria, Puglia - Italy
THE DINNER SHE HAD prepared for him was ruined. He’d crossed the line. It happens in a marriage. Tonight, however, was the worst timing. When he found her she was dressing, having already packed up her things to leave.
“Bella?”
“I’m going home.”
“Please don’t go.”
“Too late. I don’t want to be here. I don’t want to be next to you. I sure as hell will not spend Christmas Eve away from my babies taking your abuse.”
“Abuse? I never abuse you!”
“What do you think that was? Cursing at me? For what? Asking you a question? Trying to understand? You know what Gio, this is your problem. Forgive me for thinking I could help with the burden. You’ll be doing this long after I’m gone. So why should I bother.”
“Gone? Where are you going?” he asked with a deep scowl.
“I dunno. But if this is our life I can’t stand it. I won’t. I gave it all up to you, my company, my family, my identity. And you act like you’re entitled to more. There is no more. This is it! This is my limit.”
“There is no limit between us. You are my wife.”
“Try me.”
Giovanni glared at her. He tried to reel in his anger, but he forgot how. All left of him now was brute force.
“I don’t need to try you Bella. This is it. You are mine. End of story.”
“You made promises to me too. And you’re changing. You’re mean, you’re angry, and I don’t like who you are anymore.”
“I’m entitled to be angry with my wife! I can’t always be smiles and fucking laughs with you. I have to be me.”
She sighed.
“If I want to distance—”
“You can’t have it.”
“You can’t control me Gio!”
“Watch me.”
“Jesus Christ. Why? Why are you like this now? Am I fool for believing we could come out of this sane? Am I?”
“No.”
“Then tell me something that won’t push me away. Anything. Tomosino couldn’t control Eve until he broke her. Is that what you want? To break me.”
“Stop with the dramatics,” Giovanni groaned.
“I’ll go. If this continues, I’ll take the kids and go.”
Giovanni smirked.
Mirabella stood her ground. Her gaze never wavered or faltered. She held his. A cold wave of fear began to move through him. If she ran from him she would be his mother, and he would be his father. Nothing on this planet would keep him from her and his children. Nothing.
“He’s not my brother. Did you know that?” Giovanni said.
“What?”
“He’s not my brother. Zia and Rocco are fucking liars. I’m the only son to Tomosino. Me!”
“What does that have to do—”
“It’s not true. All of you want me to believe it is to save him. To cast me as second choice, to make him the abandoned one. It’s a fucking lie!”
“Is that what this is? What the anger is? You think we chose the lie over you?”
He narrowed his eyes on her. Why did he always have to dig into her pity to recover her heart. He hated the weakness she believed about him. But he was corrupt enough to use it against her. He’d do anything to make her his and keep her faith in him. Even if he knew in his heart he didn’t deserve it.
“Did you? Rocco says it and all of it sudden it’s law. Rocco is the King of lies. Lorenzo could never be my brother. He could never be!”
“Okay sweetheart. If you say it’s a lie...”
“My father wanted a son more than he wanted anything. It ruled his pride. He kept my mother a prisoner to have me. To raise me. If Lorenzo was his, I would have never been conceived. And if I were I would be nothing next to him! Nothing. That's the truth.”
She walked over and hugged him. He wanted to push her away but the stronger love he had for her caused him to pull her close. “I know the rest of the story. I’ve heard the story a hundred times. It took the death of your father and mother to give you the strength to fight for what should be yours. And yes. Lorenzo and I both destroyed the Camorra after years of you building it for your father. The way he wanted to rule it before he died. I’m sorry baby for believing in them and not you. If you say he isn’t your brother, then we’ll prove it.” She let go of him and cupped his face. “Stop being angry, it’s me. I’m scared this war between you two will cost us everything. I can’t lose you. Not again. Okay?”
He nodded.
She pressed her lips to his. And then she hugged him even tighter.
“Lorenzo is a fraud too you know?” she began. “All of this vengeance and brotherhood is bullshit, Gio. The war, the history of it all is bullshit. You’re not enough Sicilian, he’s not enough Sicilian. You can’t call the cops and have him arrested for killing Armando, for any of his crimes. He can’t call the police, and have you arrested for taking his wife and child. Bullshit. Vows, and oaths, and secrecy, and blood... none of it based on heritage and legacy. All of it is for pride and ego. You know what scares me now? Do you? You don’t talk about leaving this behind, about legitimizing the family. Not anymore. You’re all in again, Gio. That is what is killing you. We defeat our enemies and we bring you out. That’s the plan. It has to be. Because I’m not going to lose you to them.”
Giovanni didn’t bother to defend himself. He didn’t bother to answer. He squeezed her to him. “Take it back.”
“Take what back?” she asked.
“That you will run from me. That you would take my kids and hide from me.”
“Gio I only meant—”
“Take it back.”
“I’m not leaving,” she said. She kissed him. “Not tonight. Not tomorrow. I can’t run from you. I tried that before. I vowed never to do it again.”
He never apologized. He was never taught humility, though his mother often tried. But he was deeply sorry, and he’d say it over and over again before sunrise to convince her. He pulled her down to sit on his lap. He buried his face against her breast and put his hand to her belly. “I’m sorry.” He mumbled. He nuzzled his face between her breasts. He couldn’t let her go. He wouldn’t let her go. She’d punish him, but he’d punished her plenty in the past for her mistakes. He’d take it without complaint if she forgave him.
He squeezed her gently and deeply inhaled her sweet fragrance. Didn’t she know how the feel of her in his arms healed him? He rubbed his face between her breasts. Together they comforted each other on the bed. And Giovanni for the next few hours found peace in her arms. And then he made love to her.
***
“YOU HAVE TO LEAVE SOON,” he said and looked at his watch to confirm the time.
“It’s Christmas tomorrow.”
“Bella... if I can be there, if there is any way that I can, I will try.”
“That’s enough for me,” she said and looked up to kiss his chin. “You can’t blame me for loving you so much I want you with me for Christmas.”
“I can never blame you. Ever.” He pulled her up him to kiss her again. She talked about his men. The weaknesses she saw and the strengths. She talked about his plan to kill Lorenzo and make Marietta watch. And then she surprised him with an alternative. One that he’d never consider from anyone. One that could work with all the pieces he’s moved on the board. Without knowing about the Russians and the Puglia's she gave him revenge and a way to protect their bond. Because she was right. He didn’t want her life to be bullets and blood. The threat of her running from him cleared his head.
“What do you think?” she asked.
“It could work. But I’m not sure what the Generale will do.”
“Arrest you.”
“What?” he frowned.
“It’ll happen. I met him Gio. One day he’ll come. And when he does we have to be ready. What we do now can make sure that we are.”
Giovanni chuckled. “We live by Omertá.”
“We live by love, Gio. Our love. Don’t trust Omertá. Trust me. One day we will have to be ready. Protect us for that moment. Not just this.”
“I promise,” he kissed her. She grinned for him. He hadn’t seen a smile that broad from her in a long time. She gave him a tight hug.
“I have to go.” She escaped the covers before he could prevent her. He put his arms behind his head and watched her. She went to the bathroom first and cleaned herself up. And then to her bag to get out a pair of maternity jeans and button-down shirt. He watched her pack everything away except what she wanted to leave for him. And then she came back to the bed. Not to be with him. She came back to reach under one of the pillows and bring out a gun, her gun.
“Sorry. I forgot to move it when we... you know,” she gave him a sheepish grin. “You distracted me.”
He winked.
Mirabella tucked her gun in the back of her pants like she’d seen him do often. It made him chuckle.
“What? You think I don’t know how to use it?”
He put his hands up in surrender. “I never said that.”
The phone rang. Giovanni reached for it. It was a mobile phone he carried with him now. Only those closest to him had the number.
Mirabella swept her hair up in her hands. She’d forgotten her brush. The time with him in the shower had made her hair puff and frizz. She did the best she could to smooth it over. She used a hair band to put it into a thick ponytail. She watched him as he had a brief conversation with a caller. He hung up smiling.
“Good news?”
“I’m feeling the Christmas spirit.”
“You are?”
Giovanni nodded. “I’m granting your sister her Christmas wish.”
Mirabella stopped smiling. She stared at him confused.
“She wants to talk to Lorenzo. I think it would be good for her and the pregnancy if she spoke to him.”
“When I said you should try a different way I didn’t mean... what if she tells him where she is, or something? Before we’re ready?”
“It’ll be fine.” He tossed the covers aside and got out of the bed. She resisted asking more questions. He walked over and cupped her face. He kissed her lips. You are the best gift I could have this year. I’m the Godfather. I want the family to have a good Christmas.”
“Our anniversary is in two weeks.”
“And I will do everything to make sure I don’t miss it.”
“And Eve’s birthday is at the end of January.”
“Bella...” he groaned.
She hugged him tight. “I love you.”
“Prove it.”
“Gio! No.”
“Just a little bit Bella, It’s Christmas!” He picked her up and squeezed her ass. She laughed and let him carry her back to bed.