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HARRIET FINALLY WENT home Friday afternoon. The following morning, Pat went out to spend the day at the library, and Emma settled in to finish up her Student Retention Office paperwork.
“Emma,” I asked, “what was the name of that essay mill website again?”
“OutsourceMyHomework,” she said, without looking up from her computer. “Dot com. Molly, they do custom-written assignments. You’re never gonna find the evidence you need. You gotta give your students individual oral exams. Otherwise you’re just gonna be playing whack-a-mole.”
“Well, oral exams aren’t in the syllabus.” I brought over my own laptop to the dining table and set it up. “If I try to introduce them now, I’m going to get pushback and I’ll get overruled by our administration in the end anyway.”
“Yeah, that’s true,” Emma said. “Just plan ‘em for next semester.”
I started up my browser. The OutsourceMyHomework site had a welcoming layout and a cheery color scheme.
Welcome to outsourcemyhomework.com. We match up your order details with the most qualified writer in your field. We guarantee that your order is completed on time and to the highest standard. Find out how much your paper will cost.
I used the pulldown menu to select Business Plan, Undergraduate.
“Emma,” I asked, “how much does your biology textbook cost?”
“I dunno. Couple, three hundred, I think. It’s got a lot of color pictures though, that’s why.”
“So a custom-written business plan costs less than a biology textbook,” I said.
“Yeah, but is it a thousand pages with color pictures?”
“Do you want to hear the customer reviews?” I asked.
“No.”
“What about the ones from Hawaii?”
Emma looked up.
“There’s reviews from Hawaii?”
“Yes! Listen to this. OutsourceMyHomework dot come is my go-to service whenever I need my homework done fast and quality,” I read aloud. “They also do all kinds of unpopular subjects like arts, entrepreneurship, and pre-med.”
“Sad.” Emma went back to working on her computer.
“Here’s another one,” I said. “The speed of your writer are good. Your team is quick in replying and very helpful.”
“I feel sorry for whoever ends up hiring that kid,” Emma said.
“Aha!”
Emma looked up.
“Absolutely magnificent,” I read. “I was very impressed by the speed and the quality of the assignment delivered. I could not imagine that homework services like outsourcemyhomework.com even exist. Finding this company is one of the best things that happened to me. For a reasonable price I got a business plan about a product called...Oh, for crying out loud.”
“What?” Emma asked.
“I think I found our mysterious business plan writer. Emma, this must be for my class.”
“So you gonna wait for someone to turn it in?” Emma asked. “And then bust ‘em?”
“No, I’m going to give the cheater a chance to turn back. I’ll send out a message to the class warning them against using essay mills. And I’m going to tell them if anyone is thinking of turning in a business plan for a product called ‘Wee the People,’ they should seriously reconsider.”
“You’re too nice,” Emma said.
“Wow, that’s not something I hear very often.”