80

They met in neutral territory—an organic café near Prospect Park. Late on a rainy Sunday, Savannah and Honey were the only ones sitting by a window that looked out onto a waterlogged backyard. Their cute waitress—muscle tee and a crunchy thicket of dirty-blond hair—was definitely checking out Honey as she delivered two ginger teas and left them to it.

Savannah wasn’t sure if this technically constituted a breakup. But it sure felt like one. As heartbreaking as it felt, she knew she wasn’t ready to give Honey what she needed. “I don’t want to ruin the chance of having you in my life,” Savannah told her. “You’ve helped me realize so many things I want to be thinking about.” She reached across the table to tentatively touch Honey’s hand. “I wish I was in a different place; your clarity about who you are and what you need is something I aspire to. Your courage gives me courage.”

Honey nodded, looking away. “I’m not going to pretend like I’m not disappointed. I really like you, Savannah. A lot. But I’m also ready for a girlfriend. Like, so ready. So, so, so ready.”

They both laughed. Honey dabbed at her eyes with a paper napkin.

“You’ll meet someone,” Savannah said. “Someone who can see just how wonderful you are.”

The waitress stopped by to refresh their cups. “Are you sure I can’t get you anything else?” She ran her fingers through her mop of hair, her eyes lingering on Honey. “Anything at all?”

Savannah twirled a lock of her own hair. Maybe she should try something shorter. She’d had the same haircut for a very long time. “Oh, you’ll be more than okay,” Savannah said to Honey, after the waitress left. “She was totally into you!”

“Was she?” Honey craned her neck, staring after her with a bashful smile. “I should get dumped more often.”

Savannah forced a chuckle, titillated, even relieved—but mostly sad. It was too soon to be talking about Honey’s love life in a way that didn’t involve her. But that was what happened after you let someone go.

They hugged under the café awning, and Honey told Savannah to come by the restaurant; a whiskey for old time’s sake. Savannah said that she would. But she suspected this was the end of something. Honey dashed up the street, jumping puddles in a bright yellow raincoat. And then, she was gone.

Savannah pulled out her phone. It was time her parents knew two things. First, she wasn’t moving back home. She was staying in New York. She had to live her life, even if that meant disappointing people. And second, Terry and Sherry needed to stop assuming that she was only looking to date a guy. Because the more she thought about it, the more it felt like that was not a possibility. She knew they’d worry about her. They just wanted her to be happy. So, she’d have to tell them that she was happy. Breakups notwithstanding, she was.

Terry answered on the first ring. “Hi, Pookie! Great timing, I’m making turkey burgers.”

“Dad, can you grab Mom?”

“Sure, honey. Is something wrong?”

The rain started to relent. It was always so nice out after a deluge. The streets were washed clean and everything smelled earthy, like fresh shoots. Like new life. Savannah switched her phone to her other ear. “No. Nothing’s wrong at all.”