It was the Tuesday after Aidan had outed Julia as J. L. Winters, and Books and Beans had never been busier. She already had a wait list for Warrior’s Touch. And just like she’d thought and worried incessantly about, everyone correctly suspected that Aidan was the inspiration for Adrian.
But even though she’d known that was likely to happen, she’d gone ahead and pulled the copies out of the storage room and put them out on the shelf just before opening her doors for Girl’s Night Out. She’d needed an outward sign that she’d moved on from her job as the Gallaghers’ fairy godmother. Something that symbolized she was moving on with her own future. That she was no longer stuck in the past and righting Josh’s wrongs. She looked down at the new shipment of Warrior’s Kiss that she was unpacking. The past could still come back and bite her in the butt.
She’d worked out some of her anger and grief over Josh’s suicide by writing Warrior’s Kiss. Like Josh, the character Jack Summers hides his involvement in the death of a prominent member of the village.
For a man like Aidan, it wouldn’t take much for him to figure out the connection. She wondered if subconsciously that’s why she’d given him a copy. Even though she’d convinced herself that she could live with the lie, maybe she couldn’t. Maybe deep down she worried that hiding the truth would not only hurt her but hurt their relationship.
It was at times like this that she didn’t think she’d ever be able to forgive Josh for putting her in this position. Then, like always, she remembered how much Hazel loved her son and how much she loved Julia, and understanding replaced anger. And unlike Aidan, it would never cross Hazel’s mind that her son was the inspiration for Jack Summers. Because unlike Josh, Jack Summers makes amends for what he does. And he doesn’t kill himself.
“I can put these on the shelf, Julia. Why don’t you call it a day? Donna said you’ve been on the floor since nine this morning. It’s almost seven. We can close.”
“Really? I didn’t realize it was that late. Thanks, Tammy,” she said to her new hire. Byron and Poppy had insisted they interview Julia after the brouhaha with Mrs. Bradford, and Tammy, an aspiring YA author from Bridgeport, the next town over, applied the following day. Until she’d read the article, Tammy hadn’t known there was a bookstore close by. “I wouldn’t mind heading up. But you know what? I should probably sign these first.”
“Do it tomorrow. If someone buys one tonight, I’ll text you to come down.”
She lifted an eyebrow at the eighteen-year-old with blue streaks in her curly dark hair. “Is there a reason why you’re trying to get rid of me?”
“No, but if I had what was waiting for you upstairs waiting for me, I’d have been gone like ten minutes ago.”
It couldn’t be her dad. It had to be Aidan for Tammy to go all starry-eyed… Unless it was Julia’s brothers. They’d been taking turns calling her once a day. Julia didn’t know for sure, but she’d bet good money that Paul had called to have a little chat with her father and mentioned his concerns about Aidan. Not that she’d share that with Aidan. Things weren’t going well for him at the station after the kerfuffle with Mrs. Bradford.
Julia brushed dust from the knees of her black leggings and picked some lint off her hot-pink sweater, though it was somewhat of a miracle that she could see it given the brightly colored Christmas lights that decorated the sweater. She’d completed the outfit with a matching headband.
She might have gone with something sexier rather than ugly sweaterish if she’d known Aidan didn’t have to work a double shift. If someone was sick or wanted to switch, he was always the first to offer. Julia hadn’t shared her opinion with him, but she had a feeling he was trying to prove to his boss that he was a team player.
“You look great. Now go,” Tammy said.
Julia didn’t have to be told twice and fast-walked to the back of the children’s section to disappear up the stairs to her apartment. The smell of basil, garlic, and tomato sauce wafted past her nose as soon as she opened the door. Yesterday, she’d mentioned to Aidan that she’d been craving Rosa’s lasagna and garlic bread, and if her nose didn’t deceive her, that’s exactly what the man had brought home.
He met her at the door with a glass of red wine in his hand and laughter on his lips. “Cute headband. One of your lights is out.”
She took off the headband and tossed it in the direction of her bedroom and then kissed him. “You are the best boyfriend ever,” she said, once she’d reluctantly stepped back to accept the glass of wine.
“And you’re still the messiest girlfriend ever.”
She toed off her shoes. “I’m not cleaning tonight. I can’t. I’m too tired. I had to get up at four to get the revisions back to my editor before she leaves for the holidays.”
He pulled a face. “You forgot, didn’t you?”
She sagged against him. “Please don’t tell me I have to go out tonight. I can’t remember the last time I didn’t have something to do.”
“Hang on to your glass,” he said, right before he swept her off her feet.
“Perfect. You can carry me around like this anytime. All the time would be good. At least until the Christmas rush is over.”
He sat on the couch with her still in his arms. “Scooch over and lie back”—he gave his head a slight shake—“on the pile of clothes. Leave your feet on my lap.”
As she complied with his order, he raised his hip to pull out his cell phone. He started to knead her tired feet while he waited for whoever to pick up, grinning when she moaned.
“Hey, Finn, do me a favor and tell—”
Julia made a grab for the phone when she realized what she’d forgotten. “No, no, I promised Olivia I’d help with the decorations for the Snow Ball. I’ll just be a little late.”
“You heard her? Don’t listen to her. She’s exhausted. Tell Olivia to blame me. The Sugar Plum Fairy won’t be helping out tonight or any other night. She won’t be performing at the Snow Ball either. She’s hung up her tutu for the season.”
“Finn, don’t listen—”
Aidan leaned over and covered her mouth. “Yeah, I know. Agreed. Thanks, bro.” He removed his hand, set her glass of wine on the coffee table, and then stretched out beside her. “Tell me the truth. And, Julia, I will know if you lie to me, and I won’t be happy. I might even take back Rosa’s lasagna and garlic bread.”
“That’s just cruel and unusual punishment.”
“Then don’t lie when I ask you if you really wanted to help out with the Snow Ball or if you were just doing it because you can’t say no.” He raised an eyebrow.
“You want me to answer now?” He gave her a seriously? look. “Fine. They’re my friends, and it’s a written rule you don’t say no to friends.” Or half the other people in town, she thought glumly.
“Okay, from now on, do me a favor. Unless it’s something you really want to do, say no. You can’t keep going like this, Julia. You’ll get sick and be stuck in bed for Christmas. Now, is there anyone else I need to call?”
“No, I’m good. What about you? How did I get so lucky to get you to myself tonight?”
“I’m done with the house. We sign the papers on Thursday. And I’m tired of not getting time with you, so I decided to let someone else take the extra shifts.”
“Now, you be honest with me. Is it any better between you and Paul?”
“No. I can’t seem to do anything right in his eyes. Probably doesn’t help that Mrs. Bradford is suing HHPD because of me.”
“Hopefully she’ll get Judge Monahan, and he’ll put her in jail like he promised to if she ever tied up his courts again.” She tilted her head and gave the idea some serious consideration. “You know, talking to Judge Monahan might not be a bad idea. I’ll mention it to Paul. And, um, I have another idea. Don’t get offended though.”
He trailed his finger down her cheek to her neck. “I was having some ideas of my own, but I doubt they’ll offend you. Maybe you should go first.”
“Okay, so Paul has gotten it into his head that you’re a dangerous rebel without a cause. I think the problem is he can’t see past your hair and beard.”
“You’re not suggesting I get rid of my beard, are you? Because that is not hap—”
“Wait. Before you rule it out, think about this. When I kissed you under the mistletoe a year ago, you were clean-shaven, and your hair was a lot shorter than this.”
“And your point is?”
“I know your relationship with Ella Rose is much better than it was, but you said it’s still not the same as before. You and Harper have been separated for a few years, so maybe it’s as simple as you not looking like the dad Ella Rose remembers.”
He rubbed his hand over his beard. “That actually makes some sense.”
“I think I’m offended. When have any of my ideas not made sense?” She didn’t wait for his answer. She had a feeling this was the solution to his problems with both Paul and Ella Rose, and she didn’t want to give him a chance to change his mind. “Come on,” she said, and half-rolled off the couch. “I used to cut my brothers’ hair all the time, and I’m sure there’s a beard shaving video on YouTube.”
“You know how you just asked when one of your ideas didn’t make sense? This is one of them.”
“It’ll be fun. I promise,” she said as she pulled a chair into the center of her living room. “While I get my scissors and stuff, you take off your shirt.” She laughed when his eyes lit up with interest.
He stood up, his hands curling at the bottom of his long-sleeve navy HHPD T-shirt. “I’ll take off mine if you take off yours.”
“I can do that,” she said, happy to accept his challenge. “I’ll be right back.” She hurried into her bedroom and closed the door to quickly change into a black and lilac yoga top and pants. Just in case the evening went the way she hoped it would, she tidied her room. Which meant she shoved a bunch of stuff in her closet and under her bed, checked on Eric and Ariel, and then brought up a beard shaving tutorial on her phone. It looked simple enough.
She left her room to head to the bathroom to collect what she needed and stopped short, frozen at the sight of Aidan in the living room. Shirtless, he stretched as he looked out the window. “That, that’s exactly what I want.”
He glanced over his shoulder and looked her up and down, a wolfish grin appearing on his face. “I feel the same way.”
“No, that’s not what I meant. I mean, I’m glad you want me, but I was talking about your back.” She motioned for him to turn around. “Now flex like you were. Sweet Caroline, you’re beautiful. Don’t move,” she said, and lifted her phone to take some candid shots.
“Do you mind telling me what you’re planning to do with those pictures of me?” he called out to her as she headed for the bathroom.
After rummaging through drawers in the vanity, she came back with everything she needed and placed them on the coffee table. “I’m hoping my editor agrees, and we can use your back for the cover of Warrior’s Touch.” She patted the chair. “Now come sit down.”
Though she hated to cover his broad shoulders and sculpted back from view, she placed a towel around his shoulders. “Do you want anything before I get started?” she asked as she picked up a glass of warm water and a tail comb.
“A promise that you know what you’re doing.”
“I wouldn’t have offered if I didn’t. You seem a little tense. I’ll put on some music.”
He groaned when Christmas carols came through the speakers of her docking station.
“If you don’t want to listen to holiday music, you’ll have to sing.”
Aidan and his brothers had a boy band back in the day. Supposedly they’d been pretty popular on the local circuit. She’d heard them sing at Olivia and Finn’s wedding and wasn’t surprised. Now that she thought about it though, Aidan had played the harmonica more than he’d sung.
“Nice try. I don’t like to perform. Never really did. I just went along with it to keep the family happy.”
“You must have sung to Ella Rose when she was a baby,” Julia said, drawing the comb through his thick, dark hair. She leaned over and picked up the scissors.
“I did. I sang ‘Danny Boy’ to get her to stop crying and ‘Over the Rainbow’ to put her to sleep. They were the same songs my mom used to sing to Riley.”
The scissors jerked, and she cut off more than she’d planned to. “Crap,” she murmured under her breath.
He lifted his hand protectively to his head. “Julia, what did you just do?”
“Nothing. Relax. I’ll fix it.” And please, please don’t talk about your mom and sister anymore. But if she planned to have a long-term relationship with this man, that was not something she could ask of him. And she did plan to. The past few weeks together had proven to her that she’d been right the day he’d first touched his lips to hers under the mistletoe. He was her soul mate. The man she was meant to spend the rest of her life with.
“Yeah, nothing and I’ll fix it kind of cancel each other out.”
“I’ll make everything better. I promise.” She leaned in to kiss him just below his ear.
It’s what she wanted to do for him. She didn’t want to hurt him or remind him of all that he and his family had lost. Colleen hadn’t wanted her to tell the family that it had been Josh who’d been behind the wheel that night. He’d been out drinking with friends when he’d gotten a call from Hazel. There’d been a big rally scheduled early the next day, and her campaign manager had forgotten to pick up the signs from the printer. She’d told the owner of the signage company that Josh would be there within the hour. Josh was a good son. He wouldn’t have wanted to disappoint his mom. They’d had a lot riding on the election. And then Josh had made the fatal mistake of thinking that, after five beers, he wasn’t drunk. And then he’d made the mistake of thinking he could cover up the accident and live with himself for taking the lives of Riley and Mary Gallagher.
On the day he died, he’d called her from the writer’s shed. She’d been busy in the store and had let the call go to voice mail. She’d made her decision that day to tell him it was over between them. She’d always wondered if he’d somehow suspected that she meant to leave him. There was no way of knowing. He’d made no mention of it in his letter.
He’d left a letter for the Gallaghers. It was to be given to them only after Hazel had died. He didn’t want his mother shamed by what he’d done. All he’d shared in his letter to Julia were his last wishes and how to carry them out. He didn’t apologize or tell her he loved her. All he’d told her was to use his life insurance to see to it that the Gallaghers had happy lives. Only his term life insurance policy had been canceled the year before. He’d defaulted on the payments.
When Josh hadn’t come home by midnight, Julia had gotten worried and thought to listen to his message. It was hard to understand him. His speech was slurred and little more than a whisper. She had to listen to the message several times before what he’d done had sunk in. He was insistent that she get to the writer’s shed before his mother to retrieve the letters. Hazel had been out of town at a conference and was expected home that morning.
Julia had raced to the house on Mulberry Lane. A light had been on in the shed. From the window, she could see Josh curled up on the floor. He was cold, his fingernails and lips blue. Still, she’d checked for a pulse, her own hammering. He was gone. She’d gathered up the letters and ran to her car and went home. She erased his message, afraid if Hazel knew he’d called and Julia hadn’t answered, hadn’t gone to him right away, she’d blame her for her son’s death. Julia had lost Josh, and she hadn’t wanted to lose the love of the woman who’d become a mother to her too.
In that moment, she knew she couldn’t tell Aidan either. Not only for Hazel’s sake but for her own. If the truth came out she’d lose both the man and woman she loved.
“You’ve gone awful quiet, Julia. You’re making me nervous.”
Feeling the need to be close to him, she wrapped her arms around his neck. He tipped his head back and frowned. “Are you okay?”
She nodded, focusing on his mouth. She couldn’t look in his eyes, afraid he’d see the shadows in hers from reliving that night. “Don’t panic, but I’ve just realized that I’m in love with you.” At least this was a truth she could share. She had enough to hide. She didn’t want to hide that too. Not anymore.
“What was it? My naked back?” he teased, but there was a gruffness in his voice.
She’d surprised him. She wondered if he was ready for this. “That and your new haircut.” She picked up the hand mirror and, keeping her voice light, asked, “What do you think?” He held the mirror in his hand, but he wasn’t looking at his hair; he was looking at her.
He put the mirror down and took her hand, drawing her around to face him. She sat, straddling his lap. “I told you this wasn’t something I wanted.” He held up a finger to stop her from interrupting him. “I didn’t think it was. I may not be in exactly the same place as you are right now, but I’m getting there. So don’t give up on me, okay?”
She nodded, smiling as she gathered his beard in her hands. “This is going to be fun.”
And it was for the first twenty minutes, but then, as she began to reveal the man beneath the beard, his sensuous mouth, his hard, rugged jawline, the cleft in his strong chin, she was overcome with desire. “I think we’re in trouble. Maybe I should glue your beard back on.”
“What are you talking about now? Or do I even want to know?”
“I don’t think I’ll be able to keep my hands off you.”
“Now, that’s the kind of trouble I’m totally on board with. If I’d known how you’d feel, I would have shaved it off weeks ago.” He put his hands on her hips. “You almost done? Never mind.” He took the razor from her hand and tossed it on the coffee table. “I’ll finish up later.”