Chapter Eighteen

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Nina

I was in Denver.

I'd been in Colorado before and had walked through Denver International Airport with a smile on my face many times because we'd been on our way to the mountains. We'd been giddy and happy, full of anticipation of the week we'd have in Beaver Creek or Breck. How we'd ski the Montezuma bowl in A-Basin and eat at the Mint down in Silverthorne after that.

Denver had always seemed like a lovely city, but that had been an observation by a happy mind from the passenger seat in a car.

Now I hated the goddamned town.

With a vengeance.

There were traffic jams everywhere, and parking was godawful, and the restaurants were... Lonely.

“Fuck it,” I snapped, and threw my take-out bag on the table.

The girl grinning perkily at me from the side of the paper bag seemed to mock my lonesome dinner in the hotel room, and I scowled at her. When I'd eaten my lukewarm burger and fries, I flicked through the channels on the TV and wondered if I should try to find a movie to watch. Then I brought out my iPad instead, hoping that I'd get excited about the last book in the series about Colorado hot-guys I'd started a while back.

I ended up scowling at that too.

“My buddy is way cooler than you,” I shared sourly with the hero in the book. “He’s also a police officer, but he’s got more muscles, more hair, and he knows how to make Risotto.”

The hero did not respond, and I’d stared at the same page for too long, so the screen went black.

“Crap,” I muttered, glaring accusingly at the iPad, although my anger was mostly since it was seriously pathetic to have a one-sided conversation with a fictional character.

As I turned to stare out the window, I slowly reached for my phone.

I couldn't remember having ever missed Dave this way when I went on business trips. The first years, it had been because I was young and traveling for business had made me feel grown-up and important. Then it had been a valid break from the never-ending and around the clock job of being a mother. I loved my girls more than anything, but dear Lord, how they had exhausted me. When they got older, and the work-trips had lost their allure, I still hadn't missed Dave.

And I hadn’t felt lonely in the way I did now.

I missed my friends. I hadn't spent time with Layla in a while, but when I got back, I would not accept her vague excuses about being busy at the non-profit where she volunteered. I wanted to spend a weekend on the island with my parents and Jacob and toss a ball with Pippin in the park. Have coffee with Mrs. Moretti, Prosecco with Peggy, and try to cajole Luke into helping me prop up the fence toward the neighbor's house so I didn't have to worry it might fall down.

And... I looked at my phone for a beat and wondered with a sigh if it was weird to talk every day, but it wasn't just me calling, so I tapped on Matthias' name and waited for him to pick up.

“Baby,” he murmured, and I smiled.

“I hate this town,” I said as a greeting.

“I know,” he said reassuringly. “Everyone knows Denver is fucking awful.”

Since everyone actually knew Denver was a pretty nice place, I started laughing.

“The project is really interesting,” I said. “I like the people.”

“Good.”

“But four days from now, I will do the conga all the way to DIA because then I’m going home.”

 

***

Matthias

He was going through his garage, sorting out what to save and what to throw away.

Most of it was to his surprise just useless shit that he couldn't remember why he had saved, and the pile on the driveway grew as he worked his way through shelves and boxes. When he was done, he stood there for a while, looking at it and trying to be a selfish, inconsiderate asshole.

Then he sighed and called his ex-wife, told her that if there was anything she might want to have, she should stop by later that day because the twins would help him throw it away the next day.

He was inside drinking coffee when she showed up less than half an hour later.

“Why are you cleaning out the garage?” she asked.

“Hello, Jackie,” he said.

“Are you selling the house?”

“Yeah,” he said, wondering why she thought it was any of her business.

Since there was a big sign on the front lawn informing everyone passing by that the house indeed was for sale, it would also be pretty stupid to deny it.

About as stupid as asking if it was true, he thought but did not tell the annoyed woman in front of him.

“Why didn’t you tell me?”

“Since it isn’t your house?” he asked back.

“I lived here for many years.”

“Yeah,” he agreed. “Until you moved out and asked for a divorce.”

“I had no choice.”

He blinked and wondered if she’d consumed some kind of drug in the middle of the afternoon. Or stuck her nose in the perfume bottle before pouring its content all over herself? Accidentally sprayed hairspray up her nostrils?

She must have been on her way to something when he called because she was immaculately dressed, and her makeup was flawless. The image of Nina, red-faced and sweaty as she stretched after they'd been running flashed in his mind, and he suddenly missed her so much. One more day, he told himself and turned his focus back on his ex-wife and the house he was clearing out.

“I’ve put a lot of things right outside the garage, so if you –”

His attempt at steering the conversation away from Jackie’s perception of her choices was cut off immediately.

“That’s all you have to say?”

“We split up a year ago,” he said. “Not much to talk about now, so yeah. If you want any of the stuff, then help yourself. We’re taking it to the dump tomorrow.”

“I miss you.”

He’d been about to take another sip of coffee but froze and stared at her.

“Jackie,” he murmured. “What we had wasn't good, and you know it. You moved out, remember?”

“You worked all the time, and you never had time for me. And when you weren’t working, you spent all your time with the kids.”

The kids had moved out almost five years ago, and he hadn’t spent all his time with them, but she was right. He had worked a lot, and he hadn’t spent time with her.

None of that mattered now, the way he saw it.

“Jackie let’s not go there,” he said quietly. “We are divorced, but we still have the kids, so it’d be good if we could be...” he searched for a neutral word, and finished, “amicable.”

God. That sounded dorky as fuck, and Nina would have laughed her ass off if he’d said it to her.

“Amicable,” Jackie echoed.

“Yes.”

“I miss you,” she said again. “You have changed, and you’re the old you again. The one I fell in love with.”

“No, I'm not, Jackie.” He pulled a hand through his hair and shrugged. “I'm older, and in many ways, a better version of that guy, but I'm not the same.”

“I could love you again.”

There it was.

He knew what he’d tell her, and had known for a while, but he was still happy that Len warned him about it.

“You're just a little lonely, Jaqueline,” he said. “You don't want me, not really, and what we had is gone.” It looked like she'd say something which likely would make her feel embarrassed later, so he went on quickly, “And I like where I am.” Their eyes met, and he smiled a little. “I'm in love with Nina.”

She winced, and he waited silently while she swallowed a few times.

“I wish you would have picked someone I could walk all over,” she said finally, in a voice full of fake cheerfulness.

“I bet,” he said calmly. “Don’t try doing that with Nina. It won’t go down well.” He raised one brow and added, “With either of us.”

“I bet,” she echoed but smiled a little. “I'll take a quick look outside the garage, but my condo is nice, and I don't have a yard to maintain, so I don't think there's anything I want.”

“Okay.”

“It’s the twins’ birthday next month,” she said quietly. “I thought... Suzie said something about a restaurant they wanted to go to.”

“Jojo Green,” Matthias said. “She mentioned it.”

“Vegan.”

“Yeah,” he said and made a face. He liked veggies, but never eating meat was a bizarre concept to him. “A buddy has been there, and he said it's okay. Said he didn't have to get a burger on his way home.”

“Will you make reservations?”

“Sure.” He narrowed his eyes and added, “Will you be okay if Nina joins us? She doesn’t have to, but the twins like her.”

“Everyone likes her,” Jackie said sarcastically.

“No,” Matthias said immediately. “Nina is bossy and difficult, and she takes absolutely no shit from anyone. She's also stubborn, and when she focuses on things, she becomes impatient, and ignores everything else, including people.” He felt his lips twitch with a smile but pushed it back, and added, “So, no. Not everyone likes her.”

“You really do love her.”

“I really do,” he answered what hadn’t been a question to start with.

Jackie sighed but raised her chin.

“I’ll behave if she does.”

“I’ll ask her to try.”

She started laughing, and it was the first truly happy laugh he'd heard from her in a very long time.

“See,” she said. “New you. Ask, Matthias. Not tell.”

He sat in his kitchen for a while when she’d left and thought about that, and perhaps she was right. He did ask.

Sometimes.

Except, he'd made a few decisions without asking Nina at all, but she was coming home the next evening, so they'd talk about it then.

She’d just have to agree.

 

***

Nina

Matthias waited at the airport, and I just couldn’t help myself.

I ran straight into his arms like some silly heroine in a romantic movie, and he laughed when he caught me and held me close.

“I missed you,” I said on a satisfied sigh, leaning my cheek on his chest and breathing in the scent of him.

“I made some decisions you might not like,” he mumbled into my hair.

What?

I reared back and stared at him. He grinned crookedly and shrugged but leaned down and picked up my bag.

“Matty,” I said. “You might want to elaborate.”

“I'll do that at home,” he barked out a short laugh and called out over his shoulder, “You can yell at me there. Come on, I've got the car parked outside, and I don't want to get a ticket.”

Outside? There wasn’t any parking outside, so he was right, we should probably hurry.

I tried to get him to tell me what he'd done on our way home, which apparently meant we were going to my house, but he just laughed and told me to wait. Since he looked happy, I hoped it would be something minor and not that he'd decided to take a job in Lubbock, Texas. Not that there was anything wrong with Lubbock. Or Texas for that matter. I just didn't want to live there.

“So,” I said when I'd rolled around on the floor for almost ten minutes with Pippin, who had licked most of the makeup off my face. “Decisions.”

“Yeah, babe,” he said and leaned his hip on the kitchen counter. “I put my house up for sale.”

I waited for him to continue because what he did with his property wasn’t really my business, was it?

“Okay,” I said when he remained silent.

“It was a fantastic house when the kids lived at home, but it’s too big. Too far away.”

“Okay,” I repeated.

I wondered if he’d started looking for somewhere else to live, and if it was too soon to ask him to move in permanently with me.

“I –” He sucked in air and restarted. “I bought the house next door.”

“Next door to your old house?” I asked, but when he winced and tilted his head to the side a few times, I got what he meant.

He’d bought the house next to mine.

“But it’s a dump,” I blurted out.

“Yeah,” he said with great and highly surprising satisfaction. “The lot is big, though. I thought we'd just tear the dump down and have a big garden. It would be good for Pip with a bigger yard, but even better – we could build a guest house at the far end, for the kids, or when one or all of our parents visit.”

That sounded like a dream, but I still just stared at him.

“But,” I said and couldn’t get another word out.

“We could use Meggie’s room to extend the bathroom.”

Unless I misunderstood entirely, we were suddenly living together permanently.

“Did I miss the discussion about joint living arrangements?” I asked.

“No,” he said. “But I really want to move in with you.”

When he didn’t continue, and just watched me, I realized that the discussion I’d asked for was happening right then. It also wouldn’t be much of a discussion.

“I really want you to move in,” I said.

“Good,” he said, and he did this against my lips. When he finally pulled back, I wondered if we should perhaps celebrate the decision upstairs and naked, but he took my hand and pulled toward the patio-doors. “Come, let’s take a look at our lands.”

The part of our lands that I'd owned for a while looked pretty good. There was my sweet deck and the lavender I'd planted. I'd put a small apple tree in a corner and had managed to get the grass to grow into something that resembled a lawn.

The part of our lands that he owned looked like a dump yard, but he had been right. It was bigger than I’d thought, and oh, the possibilities.

“We could build another building all along the far end,” he said and gestured with his hand. “Same style as the house, same colors. I know a guy who’s a good architect. Should I call him?”

“That’d be a pretty big guest house,” I said. “Do we need it?”

“Well,” he said slowly, and pulled me back toward the patio. “I had this other idea. Was thinking that we could add a proper office out there.”

We could have used Ashley’s room for that, but it was kind of small, so it made sense to add space if we built a whole new building, but the way he said it made me raise my brows in a silent question.

“You were right. I worked in sales and marketing until dad retired.”

That had not been what I expected him to say, but before I could voice my surprise, he sat down and indicated that I should do the same.

“I want to start a business,” he said. “Mainly tailoring consultancy services toward small but promising companies. Invest if we feel like it and help them sort out shit if we want to. I would cover sales and marketing, and you’ll do finance. Len still doesn’t want to become CEO and says he can’t understand how I lasted ten years. He’ll deal with manufacturing and supply chain.”

Oh, God. I should think it over, create business proposals, do market research, and carefully judge my options, but I wouldn't.

A tingle started in my gut just like when Jacob asked me to become a management consultant, and I could see just how Matthias’ suggestion would work. Our experience together with people passionate about their businesses. Only the kind of projects we felt like taking on, and only when we wanted to. I could use the money from my father for something real when I felt like it, and both Matty and Len had their own savings to add.

“We’ll need someone to handle administration,” I said slowly. “I could do it, but I really do not want to handle accounting and general admin.”

“Pretty sure Dane will come with me.”

“Dane?” I asked stupidly as if I didn't know who Matthias' efficient and sweet assistant was.

“He only has half a college degree, but he's clever as fuck. If he wants to get the rest of his degree part-time, I could cover that if he spends the other half of his time interning as our admin.”

Our eyes met, and the tingle in my belly burst into a blast of anticipation.

“Later on, we’ll need someone with solid IT background, and perhaps someone with supplier management experience,” I murmured. “I could cover that to start with, though.”

“You’re in?” Matthias asked.

Without hesitation, I reached over the table, and took his hand.

“Yes, Matthias. I’m in,” I said with a wide smile.

“Good,” he said with a smile of his own. “Because I'm pretty sure I love you, and I wouldn't have done it without you.”

“Pretty sure,” I echoed haughtily, although I mostly wanted to stand up with my hands in the air, squealing loudly.

“Yeah,” he said

“Matthias,” I said, and raised a brow.

Then he smiled that smile, the one that made him look a little like a mischievous boy.

“Nina, I love you,” he said. “Totally and completely. I’m sure.”

“I love you too, Matthias.”

“Good,” he said and pulled me to my feet and into his arms.

I exhaled as I leaned my cheek on his chest and suddenly remembered what Jacob had said to me more than a year ago.

“You live with whatever choice you made, with no regrets. Perhaps you’ll have to backtrack, and sometimes it hurts. That’s life. But sometimes what you get is so damned amazing all you can do is close your eyes and exhale. That’s life too, and it’s beautiful, sweetheart.”

He’d been right.

It was my life, and it was beautiful.

“Let’s go inside and celebrate the rest of our lives with a lot less clothes on,” Matthias murmured, and I felt his strong hands slide over my hips.

“Yeah,” I said and leaned back to grin at him. “Let’s do that.”

 

***

Jacob

He sat on a bench and watched his grandchildren and Nina’s daughters play with Pippin on the beach. The dog was jumping around ecstatically, spraying water over the four young adults who were alternating between laughing and squealing.

Matty and Nina sat on a large flat stone to the side, and Jacob felt his heart swell with happiness when he saw how they smiled at each other.

He’d met Nina by chance, and it had taken him less than half a day to see that she was beyond perfect for Matthias. Just putting Nina in front of the boy had kicked him into gear, and when his son was in gear, Jacob knew that it could only end one way.

The way Matthias wanted it.

Since it turned out to be the way Nina wanted it too, it hadn’t required much interference from him, and for all their intelligence and savvy, they hadn’t figured out that he meddled.

Nina’s mother had understood immediately and had told him to let her know if he needed help. She was one smart cookie that one, Jacob thought. Cute as a button, if one could call a woman in her seventies that, with a sweet smile that made everyone around her smile too, but a razor-sharp brain and a spine of steel.

“Hey!” Josie called out, and he turned to tell her that he’d just been thinking of her, but his breath caught in his throat.

Josephine and Cornelius were walking down from the house, and there was someone else with them. She was the same height as Josie and had the same hair which the wind had blown over her face.

He heard her laugh as she pushed it back, and then their eyes met.

“Jacob,” Josie said with a grin. “Meet my baby-sis, Roseanna.”

A slow grin spread on his face when her mouth formed a perfect circle around the word, “Oh.”

“Well, hey there, Roseanna,” Jacob said.

“It’s a pleasure to meet you,” she said, and her voice slid right through his gut in a blast of heat.

Oh, yeah, he thought. There would totally be pleasure.

Imminently.